A Love to Nurture

Jake walked me to my car. I turned to tell him goodnight. He caught my lips in the most intense kiss. I was literally breathless. He lifted my hand to his lips. He brushed my knuckles back and forth across his lips. He said in a low, intense voice, "I don't want this night to end, but I won't push you. I want to give you as much time and space as you need." I searched his eyes wondering if I should invite him home with me.

He shook his head. "No baby, if I go home with you, neither of us will make it to work tomorrow. You go now and get a good night's sleep." I kissed him once more and drove away.

Sunday morning was a later start time at the museum. So, I tidied the house a little, humming to myself the whole while. I couldn't get him out of my mind. "So, maybe I am supposed to go on living" I thought. After Ben died I certainly didn't want to. One moment, he was there, and the next he was gone. I just wanted to continue to be with him. He was my husband. We weren't meant to be separated. But time made me realize that I could not change those deadly moments on the highway. I had no other choice, but to accept the reality and keep living.

I pulled into the parking lot of the museum and saw Jake pacing back and forth. He came over to my car as I was getting out. "Well, hello there" I said. He looked a little worse for the wear. "Didn't you sleep well?" I asked with a grin.

"No, I didn't sleep well. For God's sake, why didn't I get your number before you left? I wanted to talk to you before I could sleep. And I woke up thinking about you and didn't know how to reach out to you. You must think I'm an idiot" he said sheepishly.

"Poor baby. Give me your phone." Without question, he handed it to me. I put my name and number and my address in his contacts. "There, you will know how to reach me from now on."

"God, I just want to kiss you. But I don't think the other workers and the boss would feel too kindly about that"

"I know", I said. Let's go to the shop where we can have a little privacy at least for a few minutes."

I unlocked the shop to be swept up and pushed against the closed door with a very hard, large body. "I want you so badly." He said before he kissed the breath out of me.

"Me too." I said as I returned his ardor. I hugged him close as I felt him shudder.

"Alex, I don't know what I'm doing. I just want you so bad."

"Shhhhhh, it's okay. You have me. I didn't like being alone last night either, but it gave me time to miss you." I glanced at the clock and saw that it was time to open. Hopefully it would be a slow day that would give us a chance to talk more. But it was not to be.

The beautiful weather had beckoned families from far and near to come to the museum and pester the two sexually frustrated potters that worked there. There were moments of smoldering looks and "accidental" touches. The crowds continued to flow through the shop and we had to hide our wants and desires.

It wasn't until closing time when I locked the door and went to the back room that I was able to hug Jake and give him the kiss I had been keeping for him all day.

"Mmmmm, Alex, you taste so good. And you smell good too."

"That my friend, is a lie. I smell like sweat and you know it!" I exclaimed.

"Well, I like the smell of your sweat." He proceeded to nuzzle my neck and lick a trail with his tongue from my collar bone to my ear lobe, which he began to suck.

"Jake, we have to go before they close the gates and we are stuck here all night. Come on, love."

"Ooo, I like the way you say that. It holds such promise." I gave him one last sensual look before we had to put on our masks for the other workers. Jake walked me to the car and told me to go home and get cleaned up because he was taking me out.

"You don't have to do that. I can see that you are tired from the lack of sleep last night."

"Shut up woman. I know what I'm doing. Pick you up around 6:30?"

"Sure," I replied. "See you then."

I wasn't sure of how to dress since Jake hadn't said what he had in mind. So I donned a light weight sun dress and sandals. I was just adding a pair of hoop earrings when I heard his car and then a knock on the door. "It's open. Let yourself in. I'll be right out." I quickly added some blush and lip gloss. Looking in the mirror, I couldn't believe the smiling, happy woman looking back...Please God, don't let him break my heart.

"Hi! I hope that this is okay. I wasn't sure how to dress." Jake looked at me with hunger in his eyes. I felt the same way.

"What you have on is great. Are you ready to go?"

As we walked to the car I noticed he had on a pair of khaki color jeans and a white botton down shirt with boat shoes and no socks....."He knows how to dress, that is for sure" I thought to myself. He opened the door for me and I let my eyes take in his total appearance as he walked around the car. My heart was racing when I said "You look very handsome." He didn't respond. "Jake, is something wrong?"

"No, honey. I'm just trying to get out of here before I take you back inside and show you how much I want to be with you."

"Oh" I said. "We don't have to go out. I could cook us a meal." "No, dammit, we are going out."

We arrived at Umberto's, a casual restaurant in the valley that offered live entertainment on the weekends. From the sound of it, the band was on the back patio. "How did you know that I like jazz?" We looked at each other, and at the same time said, "Marcia!"

Jake inquired, "Do you want to sit inside or outside?"

"Either is fine with me. You pick". When the hostess asked, Jake said we would like a table inside, a booth preferably. Seated at a horseshoe booth I scooted around to the inside. Jake did the same on the other side and we met in the middle.

"I thought this would be cozier and we can still hear the band through the open doors."

"Yes, this is great."

We both ordered pasta and salad. And Jake ordered a bottle of red wine. I sipped my wine, detecting flavors of grape, cherry and raspberry. "Wow, that tastes great."

"Yes, I like it. For a house wine, it is terrific. I have to confess, this is one of my favorite places that I have found since moving here for the summer." The atmosphere was dark, tasteful and quiet. The jazz was easy to hear from the short distance to the patio.

"I love it. It's perfect." At that moment it was the most logical thing in the world, to kiss him and caress his cheek. He responded warmly to my gesture. And then he took my hand in his and entwined our fingers. So, lovely. This is so lovely. I thought of all the lonely days and nights I had spent grieving for Ben. All so I could get to a place in which moving on felt right. "I love you Ben. But I am here and you are there. We both have to get on with it, darling" I thought to myself

.

The food was delicious. We shoved our plates away when we finished and cuddled together while listening to the music. I couldn't even remember my day at this point. It was so removed from this moment. The melodious tones of the saxophone drew me into the web it was weaving. I gladly surrendered to it. I might have even dozed off for a couple seconds. After the third time that I jerked awake, Jake said "Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you home to bed."

"Are you sure? I 'm fine, really." I hated for this evening to end. Jake gave me a look that convinced me that there was no use arguing.

There was no question that I wanted to spend the night with Jake. Back at my place, I led him to my bedroom. He helped me take my clothes off and asked me what I wore to bed. I pointed at the nightshirt on the chair and lifted my arms so he could easily put it on me. At this point, he began tucking me in to bed. "Wait! Jake. I'm not ready for this night to end."

Jake looked at me and said, "It's not ending darling. It's just going to take a break for some much-needed sleep. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." I watched him take his clothes off, all but his underwear. He got into bed and pulled me close. I kissed him and he kissed me and the earth shifted from under my bed. "Alex, can you sleep?"

"Maybe if you did that thing that you did the other night. Maybe then I could sleep." He looked at me doubtfully, but proceeded to pull my nightshirt up over my breast. He then began to suckle me slowly and gently. After a while, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, I woke to a wet warm feeling on my nipple. There was Jake, licking, sucking and suckling my nipple. This suckling was not to put me to sleep. This was waking me in the most pleasurable, erotic manner. I let out a moan and Jake knew I was awake. He looked up at me with my nipple still in his mouth and communicated the most loving expression in his eyes. I smiled back and nudged my breast harder against him. He opened his mouth and took more of my areola into it and began to suckle in earnest again. All that suction bringing blood to my nipple was very exciting. His hand drifted down to gently rub my clit. "Oh God" I thought. It doesn't get any better than this.

But it did. The more Jake suckled me, the harder I wanted him to. Understanding my urgency, he suckled harder and teased my clit even more. Once his fingers were wet from my juices, he began to stroke my slit. And then deeper and deeper he stroked until finally he put two fingers into me to simulate his cock.

He coordinated the rhythm of the suckling to the movement of his fingers. I started to come apart. Deeper and harder, I came again and again. I looked up to see if he was alright. Satisfied with his work, he lay down next to me to go to sleep.

"Hey, what are you doing? I want to give you pleasure!"

He looked at me and said, "I'm not going anywhere, baby. Come on, back to sleep you go. I'll still be here when you wake."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

I woke before Jake. My nipple was a little sore, but not too bad. I looked over at this large, capable man and thought about how he took care of me last night in so many ways. It opened my heart even further. "I want to do something for him" I thought. He was so generous in his lovemaking last night. I slowly moved down the bed and uncovered his torso. Dammit, his underwear was still on!

Not knowing how heavily he slept, I attempted to slide his underwear down without him waking up. I glanced up to ensure that Jake was still asleep. So, I continued on my mission.

What a lovely manhood. Where shall I start? I kissed the tip of the head and licked the underside of it. I took the tip into my mouth and started to suck. I heard a moan from above and looked to find Jake wide awake with brow furled in passion. I let him slip from my mouth and exclaimed, "You're awake!"

"I've been awake this whole time, honey. I just wanted to see how you were going to get my underwear off me."

"You turkey! You could have helped!!"

Jake responded, "What's the fun in that?"

We both laughed. "Well, please don't interrupt. I'm very busy" I said as I took him back into my mouth and sucked up and down his shaft. I opened my mouth so I could lick from bottom to top and then swirl my tongue around his head. I took his head back into my mouth and sucked as if I was sucking the straw in a thick milkshake. Another groan from above. With hand around his cock, I continued to slide my mouth up and down his cock. Careful to cover my teeth in front, I concentrated on the head again. His cock had grown very hard and very large. It was beautiful. Before I could resume my work, I was hauled up to face him.

"Come here gorgeous. I can't wait any longer. I want you." I was more than agreeable. I kissed him with all the passion I felt for him. Pushing me to my back, Jake worked his way down my body with sweet little kisses. When he reached my lips, He opened his mouth to give my clit a loving suck and kiss. He continued to nip and suck up and down my lips. And then, he plunged his tongue into me. I had never felt anything like it before.

"Darling, I want you inside of me...Please!"

Jake worked his way back up my body, stopping at my breasts to suck and nibble my breasts. Face to face, we gazed into each other's eyes. In the midst of that gaze I wrapped my legs around him so he had easier access to me. He entered me slowly and gloriously. I held my breath and released it slowly. "Breathe baby, don't pass out on me now! I need you conscious." I giggled at the absurdity of his comment.

That is when he thrust into me hard, fast and deep. I let out a high pitched keen. He hammered into me to my shrieks and moans. It felt so very good to be making love again. I had missed this so much. "Yes, yes, yes, Jake.....Oh my God. Yes!" He was pistoning me now and I could barely breathe. "Oh, oh, Jake....Oh" My body started to convulse and jerk. He continued his barrage of thrusts. Something let loose. I could feel my canal squeeze and spasm, but I also felt a release of liquid.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

Jake briefly stopped to say "Baby, you didn't pee, you just squirted." With a smile on his face Jake continued pumping into me until he came too.

He dropped down on top of me with his elbows on either side of me supporting his weight. With our breathing hard and fast, we both lay there in the moment, feeling incredibly light and good. I spoke first, "Jake, that was amazing!! I don't even know how to describe what I felt."

He chuckled a little. "For me, too, baby."

We held each other just trying to regain our breath and composure. Eventually Jake rolled off to the side. I turned on my side to lay my head in the crook of his arm. He kissed my forehead. I lifted my face up to him and we shared an incredibly tender kiss.

"You know, going to work today is optional for all the craftsmen."

"Yes? What are you suggesting Ms. Sedgwick?"

"I'm suggesting that we never leave this bed!!" I exclaimed.

Jake burst out laughing..."If you insist."

"Well, I do. I insist!"

The day seemed to fly by. And we did stay in bed. or there about, all day long. We shared our backgrounds with each other, our hopes and dreams and our greatest sorrows. We laughed at each other's funny stories, cried with the other for their heart breaks and generally shared the manifest and the miniscule. Like me, Jake didn't have just one favorite color. He too liked combinations of colors. We both adored black/tan/white. We both felt energized by periwinkle/lime green/navy and we both were fond of pink/peach and lavender ( Me because it was ultra feminine; him because it was the colors of breasts).

Jake was obsessed with my breasts and my nipples, in particular. He could play with them and pleasure them for hours. My nipples were destined to be in his mouth. He looked so angelic and peaceful when he suckled on them. And then, in an instant, he would be fiercely amorous with nibbles and bites and strong massage. My breasts loved all of his treatments. Through Jake, I gained a new appreciation for them and was proud to have him so enamored with them.

I loved everything about Jake's body: his broad shoulders, his hairy chest, the creases at the corners of his eyes. I loved the way his hair had some body and wave to it. I loved the way his mouth always appeared to be in a bit of a smile. And I loved the way his lips kissed mine.

We decided to part after dinner on Monday night since work the following day was not optional. Jake called at 10:00 to wish me a good night. We talked for an hour which felt like a minute. At the end we both kissed into the phone and said goodnight.

Tuesday, began beautifully. The day was perfect with sunshine and a light breeze. I was in love or close to it with someone who seemed to reciprocate the feelings. Jake met me at my car and walked me to the pottery shop. Once we entered and closed the door behind us, we fell into each other's arms. Kisses were breathed in as if they were air. I couldn't get close enough to him and he apparently felt the same way as I realized he was pulling my suspenders to my pants down.

"Jake, no, we can't." It seemed to bring him out of a daze.

"You're right. I'm sorry." He heaved a sigh of frustration and went to the wedging table to prepare clay

.

I made sure that each wheel had the necessary tools and bowls of water. "Wow, those are some pretty big blocks of clay" I noticed.

"Yea, the cook needs a new butter churn and the gift shop clerk said that they were out and that they are big sellers."

"Okay, I'll let the big, muscular potter work on the big stuff while I concentrate on the smaller items today."

It was about 11:30 when a runner from the admissions lodge came bursting in the door. "Hey, Mr. Thorpe! We got a phone call from your mother. She couldn't get hold of you and she wants you to call." Jake looked surprised and alarmed. He rushed to the back room to retrieve his cell phone.

"Great. I forgot to charge it. It's dead."

"Here use mine."

"Thanks Alex" he said as he rushed out the back door to call his mother. I returned to the show room, to finish talking to the visitors who were sitting there. I hurriedly finished the pot I was working on to rush them along and out the door. I put the "Gone to Lunch" sign out and looked for Jake.

I stood in the doorway, anxiously awaiting some sort of sign as to what was wrong. "No, Mom, leave it. I'll take care of it when I get there. Yes. I'll call from the airport to let you know when I'll be getting in. Can you ask Jayne to pick me up at the airport? Okay. Okay, I will. I will. I love you, Mom. Bye." I walked around him to see his face. It was a tortured expression that I found.

"What is it. What's wrong?"

Jake took a deep breath and said "My dad is dead. Without any prior symptoms he just died."

I immediately went to him to hold him in my arms. He let me, but I could feel how tense his whole body was.

"Listen, Alex. I have to go home to pack and to book the first flight to Boston that I can."

"Can I drive you to the airport?" I said, desperate to be of some sort of help.

"No, no. You stay here and finish the day."

"No, Jake, let me come with you. I can help in little ways, I know I can."

He looked at me and finally focused on my face. "I'm sorry baby. This hits us at the worst possible time."

"No, Jake, it will be alright."

He hesitated, but then asked, "If you can get the time off, can you come for the calling hours and the funeral?"

"Of course, I'll be there. Promise to call me tonight? I don't care how late it is."

"Sure. Honey, of course. I hate to leave you, but I have to go."

"Okay, Jake, will you take a taxi to the airport so you're not driving?

"

"No, I'm fine. I'll be fine." And with that he left in a hurry.

I was on pins and needles for the rest of the day. There were moments that I flashed back to my own tragedy of finding out about Ben's death. So, there were also moments of fighting off tears. I thought to myself, "God, what if Jake gets into a car accident on the way to the airport? Jake is not Ben. Snap out of it will you? You have to be there for Jake. No self-pity!"

Once I got home that night, the house felt so empty. My dinner was tasteless and my favorite tv show failed to entertain. I checked my phone to make sure it was charged. I hoped he was okay. My heart broke for the pain he must be in. I decided to lay down since I had worked myself into a headache. I shut the lights off and closed the blinds and lay down with my phone beside me.

When I woke, I was still having the weirdest dream of my life. I was having breakfast with Ben. We were joking and laughing. And then instead of Ben, it was Jake kissing me goodbye. Part of me thought, No, don't go. Don't leave me! Please....you will die. Don't go!

The phone rang and it was Jake. "Hi, how are you??"

"Hi Alex. I'm OK. My mom is a mess and my sister is not helping matters with her constant questions and wanting answers about how this could happen. My brother won't get in for a couple days."