All Comments on 'A Lust for Life Ch. 01'

Nice beginning.

You need an editor/proofreader. You seem to have a penchant for apostrophes where none are needed.)

You seem to be in a rush. Too much of a rush.

When his wife was playing with his cock, why couldn't she have teased and edged him? So much dialog about how close he was to cumming, and telling him not to cum could have been erotically exciting. What about discussion about what they'd do when they got home? What did he want to do? What did she want to do to him or have him do to her?

OK so Sally's got big tits. Very little really happened with them. She tit fucked him a bit then blew him. What was the rush? The could/should have been lots of tit action. Looking. Touching. Licking. Sucking.

OK, after he came he fucked her (or she fucked him). What was the rush? Why couldn't he have played with her pussy and fingered her to one orgasm. And what about eating her pussy to another orgasm before the cock disappeared into her pussy. And then, suddenly, it's in her ass. No ass play first. He didn't touch it. He didn't finger it. He didn't lick it. Nothing to indicate she was up for ass play or ass fucking before he was buried in it.

So many opportunities missed.

I gave it four stars, and that was ONLY for the beginning. The rest was a disappointment.

OK. This story belongs under the loving wives category as there is no incest involved or implied . . . .

OK. So where's the incest. You also seem to have an anal fetish . . . . 2/5