All Comments on 'A Mage's Tale Ch. 11'

BUT MAN YOU NEED AN EDITOR!

So many simple spelling errors it read more like a quick outline than a finished story. If nothing else, let it sit a few days after writing then go back and read it when it is no longer fresh in your mind.

It started out well. Seemed like it had been edited. Then it took a wild turn and seemed to skip some time and missed some points, like what trouble is Val having wit Rouge and someone else? And your editor either became non-existent or just missed a bunch of things. A glaring one is Couch instead of Coach. Hope the next chapters read better. I am enjoying the plot. Thank you for sharing.

DJ

Tried to hang with it, however the plot has been totally overwhelmed by sex: thoughts of sex, talking about sex, doing sex... I realize the website is called Literotica but there should be a plot to the story. The sex on this story has totally overwhelmed the plot making it forgettable.