All Comments on 'A Massage with My Sister'

why did he go from a frightened wimpy massage guy to Mr tough man who chokes chicks. Perhaps he should practice on his rugby guys who would doubtless beat the crap out of him LOL He probably has not had more than a self massage with his own dick before

Gave me a raging hard-on....I would love to have a sister like Jen...OMG! I'd be fucking & sucking her every day.....Great story!

I swear this got me so hot I went cross eyed ha ha ha.

It was all fine and well until the choking part...have you ever killed a person cuz it sounds like you have asshole.

So did he fix her pulled groin muscle or not? That was where they started.

I love stories like this. To the naysayers of choking- You should try it! Its amazing. Some people are into it and makes the sex better.

What I want to know is - was her groin strain any better after the massage?

I basically liked your story although there were some spots that need work. Proofreading would help. Overall it was loving and sexy and worth reading. Thank you!

One comment that has nothing to do with you or your story - I wish Anonymous who has the fixation on his grandmother and scat would do us all a favor and leave his sick pathetic comments on another site and leave Literotica altogether.

The grammar and slang used is atrocious at times. There is no flow to the story and each new paragraph does not have an idea linking the sentences together.

Lovely build up and quite erotic but then ruined by the aggressive sex and choking. Really in conflict with the rest of the story and ruined the end for me.

Forget about what Anonymous says ... linking paragraphs, grammar, slang ... What the fuck is he doing reading stuff on this site for???... I thought it was a very easy read and very erotic in the build up! Keep up the good work and thanks for posting!!! Cheers Lance

The best and most important part of any erotica story is, in my opinion, what happens before the sex. I thought the build-up was fantastic, although some of it was a bit repetitive. I'd recommend ensuring each paragraph has unique intent, and if you find yourself repeating phases or actions, consider replacing those with alternate ones.

I would have liked to see a bit more realism during the sex scene itself, and a bit more inner turmoil from the leads. As others have pointed out the choking seemed to come out of left field, and I felt the dialogue and actions became unbelievable near the end. The best part of the build-up was the silent foreplay, which felt realistic, but I felt the realism was broken by yells of "fuck me brother", "cum inside me" and choking, which was a far cry from the quiet escalation of the first 3/4 of the story.

I myself prefer constructive feedback to positive feedback, but I want to stress that I did really enjoy the story. Coming up with interesting scenarios for these types of stories is the hardest part. You took a familiar one, but managed to add a lot to it thanks to your writing style and patience in the build-up. Excited to read more of your work!

You can always tell when the author is British; you cant understand half the terminology they use in the story, lol. Kinda like uni. Nobody uses that in the States, we say college (even if its a university, we still call it a college). There's also the confusing state of "football" in which you mean "soccer" cause Americans are special people and our football isn't everyone else's football. There's other examples, that's just what I understood. Good work though, the chocking seemed a little unnecessary, but everyone has their little quirks in bed, and you did a great job showing that without it overtaking the story. The sister calling him "fart-breath" was not needed, and I'd take that as a rude comment, even coming from my sister. Good flow for a short story, you got to the point without missing the lead up to the climax of the story. Nice simple and short character introductions too; got to the point and left out all the useless filler info like her breast size and build type and all that. You let the characters backgrounds give the info instead (like saying that shes a soccer player tells us shes athletic and in shape without actually saying shes an athletic build)

Enjoyed that, even if you are English, infact it was great to read an English story for a change as we do have many American and Canadian authors on here, what made me laugh was one reader said they struggled to understand some of the terminologies used, watch some UK tv to pick up on stuff like we do to half understand out cousins from accross the pond sonto speak.

Lanceinbermuda i agree with you about "anonymous" but its fools like him that hide behind their anonymity, cowards, would like to see them try to publish a story on here !!

Anyway, well written, cheers

Good story. Glad to see a British author don't need to use USA terms keep it British if that's where you from, saw nothing at all wrong with any of the writing or details skipped all the petty details and saw that you included things like fart breath, people from the USA as seen in the comments don't understand it as a joke I suppose definetly something a sister would say to her brother keeps it more authentic good read

maybe its cuz i read alot of different type of books but i didnt even notice anything was out of place. great job. keep writing more please.

Fantastic build up. But you lost me during the sex scene, it just seemed out if place with the rest if the story.

And it's pubic not public.

should have stopped at just teasing her pussy, she goes back to practice, claims to sprain her other thigh this time and then go for the fingerbang ending. easily a great read all the same. keep up the good work

the choking just isn't my thing. I think that lovers who are into the choking thing are very familiar with each other already and know to do this. Looking at this realistically, I don't see how Jen's brother could have possibly known that she liked to be choked. And realistically, if someone didn't know their strength, it could end badly especially in the heat of the moment. Still, if it worked for Jen and her brother, then more power to them. I am not criticizing because I really did like this story.

Very sensual massage and build up of sexual tension was described very well. When Jen told her brother to take her panties off...WOW! VERY Good visuals throughout. Basically, I saw the massage as an ice breaker between 2 adults who are drawn to each other. PLENTY of room here for part 2? Please?

Now Genieveeanday, don't be put off with any negative comments. Please keep writing. Just remember that many of the negative people are like me having the same creative ability equal to that of a fungus. Meaning I can't write so therefore I read. I gave this a 5 because of the visuals of the massage. HOT! Thanks for the read. -dave

Really well done! Bravo!

Good premise.

You need an editor/proofreader.

KNEED? Nope. KNEAD.

PUBLIC AREA? Nope. PUBIC AREA,

And sex moves ahead too quickly. Each time.

And she does nothing but lie there enjoying it. She never even reaches for his cock.

Two stars.

I want to know about the next day's try-outs.

Not a bad story! :-)

I love jerks who can tell you all the thing they think is wrong but no offer to help.

A trick of professional proofreaders -- Read it backwards -- be surprised what you find

The story was Hot. There was no wining about oh this wrong we should not do this he knew what he wanted and he got it and his sister enjoyed it no guilt.I love those type of story's.Thanks

The penis should not touch the cervix during sex, that would be incredibly painful for the woman. If you're going to write sex stories, at least learn basic anatomy and how sex works first.

5hat eas cute and hot. Is there a possibility of a second part?

HOT, I enjoyed reading it. Liked the Brother and Sister interaction. Good job. I hope this story has more chapters. 5 Stars.

Great premise.

Now THAT'S the way to describe foreplay!

Only wished she'd eached down and taken his cock in her hand. And played with it. And described how it was making her feel. And asked about how he was enjoying it.

Nevertheless, a resounding five stars.

Good story had me start fantasizing about my hot petite sexy stripper sister who asked me to give her a massage and then asked me if she should take her clothes off I said I don't know really what about her kids I started to massage her her back as low as back part off her beautiful ass but she said lower so I went as far as back bone but she said lower like past her ass and I guess she meant for me to feel her pussy she said nevermind got up and went to her room I know realize she wanted to fuck I think she well let me but I think I'll pass cuz I don't want to respect my sister even tho she is tempting sometimes a massage would be a good way to get to fuck my hot sister hell I could use a massage too

Quite fun, quite a good story! Hopefully it continues!