A Matter of Blood Pt. 01

I stumbled into the small interior chamber, dropped my bag and then slumped to the floor, rolling over onto some ancient leaf litter and straw. It was softer than I expected, but I was also in less pain now. I felt very little, which should have been a bad sign. But I was tired, and I slept, fitfully.

I dreamed of horrors. I dreamed of revenge. I dreamed that I killed Merwyd and her child, and that I took pleasure from it, a righteous madness. I was relieved when I awoke.

For the third time that night, I was fairly certain that I was going to die. The knife at my throat seemed to indicate that clearly, but it did not move. I moved first, grasping the arm, thinner and weaker than mine and twisting in a way I was trained in many years before. I took the knife away easily, almost without resistance. As I held it I could see it was a thin, double-bladed dagger, a weapon for a professional killer.

I stood with strength born of fear and pushed them back to the wall, pressing the dagger to their throat instead, ready to kill them. As I pressed them with my arm I felt the firm but yielding shape of breasts and I realized the she was a woman, or a girl. She was slender, but her curves were obvious now that I noticed, clearly athletic and proportional. She wore well-oiled black leather, with a hood and cowl to protect her identity. Her eyes were deep green, and I felt a sick sense of familiarity. I noticed that she wasn't resisting me as I pulled her cowl down.

"Raisa?"I said, my voice trembling with shock. Well. This was too much. My baby sister. The youngest, who had followed me around my entire life. Who had annoyed me and idolized me. Who I had protected from the awful parts of the world as best I could and who I cherished. Who I was supposed to marry. I knew that she had been trained, much as I had. I had been told that she had been sent to a temple of the gods, as was traditional for the third daughter. Apparently I had been lied to.

I dropped the dagger and sat back, heavily, on the floor. To stop her I'd have to kill her. Binding her in rope would not be enough if she had been taught by the Seyla, traditional assassins of the nobility. She could almost certainly escape from them. The choice was simple: her death or mine. I chose mine.

"Go on," I said, my voice heavy with fatigue, "Do what you have to."

She stood for a moment, arms clasped anxiously in front of her, and I saw her as she was. Young, inexperienced, nervous to please, shy. Maybe father had sent her away to learn dark things, but in that posture I still knew her to be my good little sister and that her hesitation was born of her love for me. I had made the right choice, maybe the first truly good decision of my life.

She bent down and picked up the dagger, but quickly sheathed it, as if its presence offended her. Then she sat primly on the floor next to me. I blinked in surprise as I felt her head resting on my shoulder. It was just as we always sat together, especially after a long day. It was not unusual for her to fall asleep in that fashion.

I chuckled and put my arm around her, just as in the old days. If I was going to die tonight, at least it would be with someone familiar. The thought was comforting, which I suppose shows how low my hopes had dropped.

"Brother, why does father want...want you to die?"

Her voice was only a little deeper than when she left, and it was full of worry. I felt her body shaking as I pulled her into me and she seemed near to tears.

"I don't know. I don't even know if he really does. I only know that Tyr had me ambushed and when that failed tried to kill me himself. His eyes were so full of hate. I've never seen him like that before. After I was stabbed I jumped out of the sanctuary into the lake. I'm not sure how I survived that."

"St...stabbed? You've been stabbed? Where?"

Her evident surprise made it clear that she was not the assailant who had ambushed me. She began to prod and look at my torso, although in the dim light I didn't understand how she hoped to see anything. Finally, her probing fingers found the spot, and she must have felt the wet stickiness of my blood. I gasped and tensed in pain as she did.

"Nonono..." She said, as if it were a prayer. I was pretty certain I was done for but her small but strong hands pushed me off the wall and lay me down on my front. I couldn't have resisted her if I tried.

She carefully and precisely cut my shirt away near the wound, pulling it away gently. It hurt, but I knew it would have been much worse if someone less sure would have done it.

"They trained us at the Chapel Tenebreum to heal. A bit. I'm going to help you as best I can, all right? This...this isn't temple healing. It's going to hurt a great deal."

Even though she was worried I was impressed with her confidence. I could sense that although she was still my baby sister, she was now a woman, maybe one who had killed before. I could see why they might want to pair a Seyla-trained bride with a son trained in cavalry tactics, politics, and scouting. I wondered what changed my family's mind about me and made them think that I needed to be eliminated?

All of these thoughts were lost in a searing pain radiating from my wound. I'd never felt anything like it but it felt as though she had just rammed a red hot poker inside of it. My jaw locked, my body tensed, and my vision turned white. Then, thankfully, I passed out.

* * *

When I awoke, I could tell that a some time had passed. The orange light of late morning reflected off the floating dust in the old ruin. I was still laying on my front, but Raisa had folded my cloak and put it under my head. As I groggily rose to my knees I saw a small flask laying on a few folded sheets of torn paper.

I picked up the flask, it was small, ceramic, with a cork stopper. The papers were covered in crude but legible script, written with charcoal or something similar.

Finn,

Drink what's in the flask. It's something that the Seyla use get rid of fatigue.

I hid the evidence that you made it out of the lake. Sarah won't be able to tell anyone, and I'll make sure the horse gets back. When father asks me about you I'm going to tell him that I didn't find any trace of you. I've never lied to him before so I hope I do ok. If I don't I guess that he'll kill me so I'm sorry if that happens. I'm better at lying now so I'll probably get away with it, though.

I saved your life, and you owe me. I'm not trying to be mean, but that's how I see it. You have to give me whatever I want.

I want you to give me everything you give to Merwyd. I think you understand. I can still help you more if you let me. I'll find you again as soon as I can.

I Love You,

Raisa

The plain but sincere language was exactly the way Raisa wrote. God. I had no idea that she felt that strongly about me. I thought back for a moment and wondered if I had acted to lead her on.

I was also very concerned by what she meant by 'Sarah won't be able to tell anyone'. Later Raisa would tell me that she'd used a poison that had made her sick for a few days and made her lose all memory of the prior week. Better than being killed, I suppose.

I thought about whether my father truly thought me dead. Well, now wasn't the time to worry about it. If she ever found me again, we could talk then. For now, I had to assume that Raisa was both truthful and correct. I was, in the eyes of my family, dead. I needed a place to think and plan and prepare. And probably hire some scurrilous sorts to do some bad things on my behalf.

I am embarrassed by the naiveté my younger self. At how easy I thought it would be. In any case, I was partially correct. My future lay in Sondres. I was just entirely wrong about what it would be.