All Comments on 'A Mom, Her Son, and His Lap'
by MrHereWriting
- 100 Comments
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthorhttps://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MrHere <---- For all of my old #1 stories
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You can thank SimonDoom for the influx of mom-on-lap stories. He started a forum discussion on the topic's popularity, and I thought, "Le'ts write one of those," but I wasn't the only guy with that golden idea.
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https://twitter.com/MrHereWriting
Anonymousover 2 years agoI think i've hit my limit on the 'car ride' stories, but even still this was entertaining. Nice job!
UAlbanyGirl518over 2 years agoI love “riding on lap” stories and this one was a 5-star effort. With any story in this genre you have to suspend your disbelief on the way in. The sounds. The smells. And the actions of fucking in closed quarters would make it nearly impossible to pull off, but that’s irrelevant with a story as hot as this one. I loved the long, slow build-up and detailed back story that begs for additional chapters. My only complaint is somewhat picky but was glaring given the porn-like description of the Porche. “He put the car in drive.” Anyone who is that big of a motor-head with fantasies of driving for NASCAR would have a standard transmission, especially with a Porsche. But that’s it. Everything else was pure gold!
rhardwoodover 2 years agoOf course you have to suspend reality when reading this mom son lap tale. What I did really enjoy was the total slut the mom is.
PhoenixInkedover 2 years agoOMG OMG OMG. *takes a deep breath*
Okay, well written version of a story that’s been done before. Highly recommend! One of my favorites!
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@Motherlessone77 - Like most parents, it's: Do as I say, not as I do/did, at least, that's how mine were.
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@Blackheart - Thanks
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@Klitomatic - Completely improbable, especially when I moved Val & Colt upfront.
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@UAlbanyGirl518 - How's WRIST? Thanks for the comments. I had the dad driving a stick, but I also had him driving the Hybrid model, and after some digging, there is no stick for that hybrid model, so I took out the few stick references I had. Besides, it's his "Family Car" and his two-seater is a stick.
@Everyone - Thanks for reading, commenting, & voting.
linnearover 2 years agoWow, that was by far one of the hottest stories I've ever read. The build up to that ending was simply brilliant writing, I figured that Colt and Lana had been going at it as often as they could.
GrandEagle53over 2 years agoAnother "riding on lap" story???? HELLLL Yeah. Moving them from the back to the front was brilliant. This one (IMHO) outshines the others I've read. 5 stars (more if I could) and fav. The only miniscule problem I have (unless I misread) is that if Lana was in front because it was "her time of month" then why are her and Colt wearing that particular costume? However, it did not distract from the story. Thanks.
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@Wizard - Thank you.
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@Linnear - Thanks.
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@GrandEagle - As a reader, we can assume a few things if we wanted to: The costume was bought long before the Halloween Party, but now they have to figure out what they are going to do about it. They could still wear it, or, maybe Lana goes to her mother at the last minute and asks her to switch costumes with her, or maybe Lana had just needed one more afternoon to feel better, never expecting her brother to do what he did. Who knows?
Crusader235over 2 years agoPossibly the Hottest ever Lap story. I may have to reread the others to make sure. 5 Stars!
Please continue the party story. Colt & Lana in the Hot Dog costume. Mom as the Hot nun, maybe he FIL wants to hear her confession in a booth. I bet Dax has a few to many drinks bragging about his best time ever.
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@MajorRewrite - Yeah, Mom too, but who's to say the "too" refers to just Lana and her Mom? Hmm. . . .
Anonymousover 2 years agoDam it made me so hard now I have a big mess in my lap to clean up great story
Treeclimberover 2 years agoDam hot got my dick dripping an hard as hell love back seat story's with mom please do another
BuzzCzarover 2 years agoI almost didn't read this, thinking "just another lap story" but for some reason I gave it a try. Wow!, excellently done. By far the best of the genre'. 5* from me.
Pleochroicover 2 years agolove this story but would prefer Lana either out of this story or sitting front seat talking to Dex without knowing a single...
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@BuzzCzar - Thanks! Much appreciated.
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@Pleochroic - I tend to write stories with multiple family members having fun or mentions of multiple family members having fun. Not always, but mostly.
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Thanks everyone.
dottie86over 2 years agoSOOOO SEXY.......HOT......right from the get go....another chapter maybe?!
Ambivalenceover 2 years agoIm sorry, and she thinks she's in a position to scold her children *why* exactly...?
But good story...
MrHereWritingover 2 years agoAuthor@Ambivalence
Because she's their mother/parent. Taking part in something as taboo as incest is dangerous, especially in our digital, video everything, tell-all-secrets age, and doing something does not mean condoning something.
I know, in a lot of people's heads it's "Time for the family orgy!" But, to make the characters more real (as real as possible in an incest story) there needs to be some conflict/hesitancy and self-evaluation that adds suspense, drama, build-up, etc.
But, by being their mother, who wants them to be better than herself, she can scold them as much as she wants.
Anonymousover 2 years agoAwaiting a follow up on how Colt continues his sexual adventure upon his costume dressed Mom throughout the evening along with the weeks to follow.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoStereotype ... Chinese movies: a buck tooth china man, a fat china man, and a crossed eyed china man are all stereotypes of how people want to view Asians in films. Evan if Asian producers want to show they movies to the western world they have to use this perception. It has gotten so bad that people actually believe these are real Asian characteristics. Anything other than that can't be realistic.
People feel the same about your writing. They have been programed to tell you how it should end, according to other stories yours don't follow the same pattern and therefore its unbelievable. It like saying you are a certain race and they will argue that you are not because you don't fit the profile. @MrHereWriting keep producing great work. All works of art is abstract and should never be meant to look the same or have the same meaning to everyone.
MrHereWritingabout 2 years agoAuthor@FoggyKernel (I had to repost this comment because I wrote Manual instead of Automatic in my comment, not the story.)
Dex is driving the four-door Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid Executive, and it's an Automatic. It's his family car, but I like the idea you've developed your own reasons for why he didn't notice. (I try not to straight up tell people what to think in my stories.)
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Your B scenario is the plot to a story I've had in my Idea File for years. I've got hundreds of unused ideas, but, sigh, I don't know if I can write it now.
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@Dottie86 & murlimohan6969
No promises.
PointBlank9about 2 years agoThis was great. Maybe we can get a sequel with the mom and sister. Or a prequel with the sister and how it started? Also with the son’s perspective
Bentandtwistedalmost 2 years agoLove love love this. I was soaked from the start and came so hard imagining I was being fucked by my son right next to my husband.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoGreat story!
I was a little confused trying to figure out if the car was right-hand or left-hand drive. It kept switching back and forth in my mind.
By the end of the story, I could not help wondering if maybe the father knew what was happening? Had he got his son drunk on purpose - so that his son would f*** his mother? Did the father ask his wife to wear the costume so it would be easy access for his son? Could the father perhaps secretly be a cuckhold and getting off on the idea of his son f***ing his wife / his son's mother?
Just some thoughts I ponder.
Keep it up! Hope you will explore the story and characters more!
bare5747almost 2 years agoI loved your story, was full of excitement all the way through. I am totally surprised that your husband couldn't smell the sex from you two fucking. I do hope you have more stories like this of you and your son or your son and daughter having a sexy good time too.
MistressMissy08almost 2 years agoAbsolutely fantastic! Great job as always keep up the fantastic work! Five stars
MrHereWritingalmost 2 years agoAuthorhttps://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MrHere
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Thanks everyone. Comments are great, I read everyone, but I don't keep everyone.
Anonymousover 1 year agoDoes the book you have on sale the exact same as this or is there more to the story to purchase it?
MrHereWritingover 1 year agoAuthorhttps://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MrHere
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https://twitter.com/MrHereWriting
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To everyone who enjoyed it, thanks for letting me know.
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@Anon - If I add anything to a story that I list on Smashwords, the Smashwords description will say so in the blurb. Otherwise, the price reflects the time and effort I put into the story IF lots of readers purchase said story out of a desire to "support" my efforts.
Jeffersonleeroyover 1 year ago2nd time I’ve read this one, so good I hope there will be more to this story.
Anonymousover 1 year agoI really like the use of cunny instead of the vulgar much harder sounding word that reeks of disrespect!! I'm a guy and hate that word. Much rather the latin!
MrHereWritingabout 1 year agoAuthor@Anon - 2 Months ago, who appreciates the use of the word "Cunny."
- Thanks! Cunny is a simple word, and it's a good and less vulgar one, as you said. I had someone comment (since deleted) on "A Mother's Worry" that the word "Cunny" made them uncomfortable, sounded "young." To that I say: If the word "cunny" makes you uncomfortable, you need to stop visiting whatever young websites you're visiting that weigh heavily on your conscience. "Cunny" has nothing to do with maturity.
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To everyone else, thank you!
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You can find more mom/son, brother/sister, father/daughter stories at my Smashwords page.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoPlease do a follow up that involves the sister playing with the mom and even the aunt! Amazing story so far!
MistressMissy08about 1 year agoAbsolutely fantastic! This is the second time I've read this story and it still gets me going ..
Mfkndragon12 months agoWell I will say this there is a lot scared people they scared to say what they really thought im not it was a trash story poorly written the way the words were written out made it sound rushed and forced with no damn story line to the story research on what makes a good story even a fantasy story and implement that into your stories until then do us a favor and just quit trying to write give up already cause all your doing making a fool out of your self I know that you're going to more than likely delete this story cause you can't handle the truth and when you do that just makes my comment even more accurate and the word cunny means shrewdness, artfulness,williness,slyness, trickery,intrigue and deception has nothing to with the word cunt before you using words make sure you know the meaning for such words now for the love God quit trying to write stories you can't do it so why bother if you learn then sure try to write another and see but as bad as you are it will take at least a year to get decent even longer to be good
MrHereWriting12 months agoAuthor@Mfkndragon - Lol. With your continuous, no punctuation ramble, you're writing like an author making poor attempt at being an anonymous troll. (Wink,wink.) And, to quote you: "the word cunny means shrewdness, artfulness,williness,slyness, trickery,intrigue and deception has nothing to with the word cunt before you using words make sure you know the meaning for such words now..."
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You are thinking of the word "CUNNING" with an ING ending.
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The word "CUNNY means "a woman's genitalia."
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I'm going to leave your post up for a day or two before I remove it. Don't try so hard to be a troll next time. Subtle and restrained criticism goes further than mindless putdowns.
Parkerstarkstrange12 months agoI’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you had already addressed the vile “remarks” made by Mfkndragon. I was immediately so disgusted that I sent a lengthy and detailed report. Needless to say, I’m glad it’s being handled and I truly hope you’re not discouraged by any of this.
The major issue I had with the writing in this specific story, at both a technical and narrative standpoint, was once I finished reading it I went immediately in search of reading part 2, but it didn’t exist yet lol. Other than that, you really knocked it out of the park here, so cmon George. RR Martin, where’s the next one? Lol
MrHereWriting12 months agoAuthor@Parkerstarkstrange - Glad you liked it, and a second story would be nice, but I have so many ideas, and I write regular fiction as well that I try my hardest to make my stories one-offs with enough left over that the readers can imagine what comes next, continuing the story in their head. I know what comes next, but I promise nothing. (And don't get me started on George R.R. Martin!)
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As far as Mfkndragon, I have more confidence than I know what to do with, without being arrogant about it. Normally I'd delete his post, not engage, and leave him upset I didn't respond, but he made himself look like a fool when he wrote down the wrong definition for "cunny," confusing it with "cunning." It makes me laugh, so I have to leave that one up.
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Anyway, thanks for the comment and the reassurance in the story's erotic value. It's good to know the story was worth your time.
Darkness8611 months agoGreat story although you should do another chapter of them at the party and one with a mother/daughter/son threesome
5 stars
GrandEagle5310 months agoI just want to say thanks for a great story. Wish I had as vivid an imagination as you do.
As far as mfkgdragon is concerned, I went to his profile page to view HIS stories and see what a REAL (LOL) writer's story is like. Lo and behold: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. :p
Smokey_SC537 months agoI agree,part 2 would be great!!As for dragon dude,I see where he is banned,that profile anyway.I wouldn't have given him a second thought really,A person who uses no punctuation,and his entire message is one long ignorant sentence lol. And as you said,doesn't know the difference from cunny and cunning..lolKeep up the awesome work and I look forward to your newest piece..
MrHereWriting7 months agoAuthorThanks for all of the comments.
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@Smokey, I forgot all about him. Didn't even know they were banned.
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I wish I could respond to everyone individually without writing a novel, but do know that your comments are greatly appreciated.
Anonymous4 months agoLoved the story. A prequel would be hot as hell with stories about the mother and her twin sister.
Anonymous3 months agoI'd love to read sequel with the stories continue from here with both the mom and daughter. But starting with the flashback of Colt and her Sister's experience. WAITING...
Anonymous2 months agoHot, hot story. But the ending left me a little unsatisfied. The story should have gone on a little longer. One more fuck tryst between mother and son and in more comfortable circumstances where the son can really ram that cock up her pussy would have been good. A sequel please.
MrHereWriting@MrHereWriting
