A Moody Bitch

My name is Cheri a thirty year old small and petite bi-sexual woman, with blue eyes and long red hair. Typing out my thoughts it is late at night I can't sleep haunted by my dreams again hearing my screams so as mind wanders dancing from thought to thought I type.

How did I become a prisoner to someone else's fears, jealousy, and abuse?

Gradually over time is the simple answer, it became normal to be berated, beaten, to feel worthless, followed by tenderness and caring, I even came to like, to crave, maybe even enjoy the pain. How a successful, intelligent, strong, beautiful woman like myself became a meek, scared, abused woman may not be the important question to ask. Mistaking abuse for love and tenderness, losing my own identity, who I thought I was, the hardest things to except, "is being a victim", I don't think of myself as a victim. I think of myself as a bright articulate highly educated, second in my law school graduating class, independent young woman.

I stand up/fight for the victims so how or why did I become a victim of domestic violence and stay in the situation for two years? That question troubles me to this day and that is part of the journey that led me to write on Literotica. That's not even the interesting part of the story though, the real story begins when I crawled up, fond strength, survived, that's when I found out who really loved me and who just loved the idea they had of me.

Surviving, finding comfort in others who've been through similar experiences, learning to trust again, growing as a person. I hoped when I started writing here that my stories would convey my struggle, my rebirth, my confusion with my desires and my emotions as I explored them down dark paths. If even just one woman would read my stories and know she's not alone in their struggles, find comfort in someone who feels like them, that would define success to me, I found pleasure exploring my inner thoughts, feelings, fantasies, examining who I really am so it is ok if you don't understand me by now, the rawness, un-edited me, you properly never will and that's alright there are still parts of me I don't understand.

I'm not here to be perfect, I'm not an author, what I write, the way I write it, I'm giving you my soul, spilling out my desires, my fantasies, my experiences before you in a rushed rambling tumbling out free flow style. Read don't read, like don't like, I can't change who I am and if that threatens your idea of yourself that is your problem. I'm secure and happy with the woman I've become, I have nothing but love to share, giving pieces of me to everything I choose to do or whoever I choose to do.

She asked if I was upset, her simple words could never cause me pain, after all the shit I've been through, I've felt the pain, real pain of abuse. Sometimes I feel better when I'm drinking wine, the wounds just don't seem to cut as deep, sad, lonely, no because when I lay down in my king size bed by myself I just masturbate. My beautiful body in the mirror writhing in pleasure, my cute toes curling, bouncing, bucking, making sweet love to myself.

I Remember that summer day, me in her red bathrobe, she said it looked better on me than it did on her a little white lie between friends. I Only wish she knew how much I lusted after her, I watched your dazzling eyes, Why would she ever kiss me? A gorgeous ashy blonde with those beautiful green eyes in those tight boy shorts. My Sweet friend.

Why would you ever want me? I'm not even half as pretty as her, for better or worse, I'll always love her. Sitting here her cute little feet in my lap playing with those beautiful red painted toes. Wanting to suck them, savoir them, worshiping her in silence. If she only knew what I wanted to do, bury my face in her sweet pussy taste her sweet juices.

Tickling those cute feet, my lace panties getting wet, waiting for a sign, feeling the growing sexual heat. Hoping you like what you see, please, please why wont you touch me, letting the bathrobe slide open exposing my nakedness. When your fingers found my face, I was ecstatic, like being shot in to outer space. Looking up into those beautiful eyes, seeing what I hope to find that hidden lust, matching with mine.

Kissing those wet soft lips sweetly sending wonderful shivers up my spine. Your hand on my breast, is this a little dream or are you really mine, teasing my hard nipples. Pushing it farther, touching my wetness, I'm light as a feather. Fingers moving inside me, thrusting my hips forward, moaning for more. Did you always know the score? Bucking my hips fucking your hand, passionately kissing. Tongues engaged in a new erotic dance, this had always been my erotic plan.

I remember that summer day we became lovers, you gave me orgasms like no other, my gorgeous lover. Come with me now as we push those limits, to explore our naked bodies, in pursuit of mutual pleasure. Passion and pain as I scream your name, licking your ass, loving the taste, feeling no shame. Giving up control, following commands, I am your slut to tame.

her beautiful pussy inches from my face. using my long tongue running down her wet pussy lips, picking up the pace. Plunging inside her beautiful vagina leaving a trace of my saliva on her smooth skin, you and I are like leather and lace. Shaking in pleasure, knocking over the table with the flower vase. Kissing her neck, moaning, sighing, making beautiful music together. Tickling her feet with a little white feather, her love makes my whole world better, my gorgeous lover.

Playfully kicking me, giggling, sharing a tender moment. A Seized Opportunity, climbing up on top of her, tickling her her sides, as she wiggles under me laughing hysterically. Our faces so close, lips meeting, I'm kissing my beautiful neighbor, tongues dancing in each others mouths. In that second, taking that leap, laying our arms around each other, no turning back now. I secretly loved her for so long all that pent up desire just pouring out. My hand finding her excited clit rubbing ever so gently, slipping my fingers into her wet cunt, moans escaping from her mouth. "Cheri, what are you doing, ohhh please don't stop"

Rock my naked gypsy soul, just like they did way back in the days of old, as magnificently we will float into the mystic, till that lone fog horn blows. We were born younger then the sun, finding my beautiful one, has we sail into the darkness of the sweet unknown.

Love me, use me, Never let me go. Quench this unbearable thirst, this fire in my soul. Give me orders I need your control, something to fill this massive hole. How did you find me, how did you know. I saw you in the front row, just Laying back watching the show. I am here naked going with the flow.

I can be dominant or submissive, depending on how I feel in that moment. Which doesn't mean I necessarily like to be dominant as often as I'm submissive. I spend most of my sex life being neither of those things. All it means is that sometimes I do like to take a dominant role and sometimes I like to take a submissive one. I can also be tender, sweet. loving or I can be a moody bitch. I've found I'm many different things a lover, a daughter, a lawyer, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a musician, victims advocate, a mentor but none of those things define me. I define me every day by being loving and caring, thoughtful and helpful, each day I am reborn anew with hope.

Use me, hate me, ravage me, destroy me, as long as in the end you make me come alive. For your approval I will always strive, spank my butt, slap my tits, anything to please. Grab my neck, hold me down, pull my hair, only my screams and moans will be in the air. I need it, I want it, I have no fear, please don't mind my tears.

Stroke me, pluck me, play me like a guitar string, tighten me up, slap my face, so I scream your name. I want to feel passion, I need to feel pain, you know I have no shame. Lick me, tempt me, push me, pull me, throw me to the bed, ride my face, make me sing. I want to pass your test, I want to get my wings.

Hold me down, shatter me, make me taste your dirty ass, pew. Pick me apart, to rebuild me, I only want to please you, on my knees, waiting to serve, needing your love too, you've awaken something inside me one of the few. Giving you all my secret clues, singing songs of lost and lost, the lonely blues.

You found me beaten, empty, useless, now fixed, filled full in your love. Oh, please bite my nipples, I long for your nibbles, may I kiss your feet, suck your sweet toes. The pleasures you have helped me know.

Please don't leave me I promise to obey. Hold me strong, till the crying stops, so my pieces don't stray, knowing my punishment, oh how I'll pay. Here in you arms forever I will stay. Bodies entangled, caressing my face, giving soft kisses, here's where we lay. Watching the sunrise over the Chicago bay.