All Comments on 'A Most Unlikely Fantasy'

I gave you 4* but a few suggestions. Watch your continuity. Early in the story you referred to Lucy as Marie. Also, you switched between "daughter" and "granddaughter" several times when referring to Sarah. I did like how you built up the sexual tension between Jack and Lucy but then once you did, you missed the opportunity to tell the story of their first fuck in detail. (Rather than going from their oral and hand sex to telling us they then fucked almost daily). Overall though, I enjoyed that you were not afraid to show the enjoyment of sex between a 30 something stud and a woman who was almost 80 and had the body to prove it.

I noticed the same things "anon" did, but the story was so interesting I ignored them.I'm an old dude, & I fuckin a 69year old widow lady, that is the Hottest Fuck I've ever had. This is a believable story & an interesting one. Thanks for a good read. Looking forward to more of this caliber.

I have to admit, I did catch my errors in the name and the daughter/granddaughter but sadly it was after I had submitted the story. Marie was a woman I knew (No, I did nothing with her, but she WAS the inspiration) and it was almost an effort to NOT use the name. It did slip by. Thanks for reading and thanks for the critique.

A most wonderful story but Sarah introduces herself as Lucy's daughter and later in the story speaks of Lucy as her grandmother. It broke the mood in the story to have that discrepansy.

I like this - it deals with sex between adults without the need to bring in teenagers. A pity you didn't get someone to edit out the discrepancies mentioned by earlier readers. I hope you write more stories. Thank you.

This ended as a great story, sympathetically written. It started slowly and as can happen this had the potential to stop me from reading further. I'm glad I continued. About the mistakes, that can happen with authors (of any kind of document). You want to get the details right but you also need to check for errors in grammar, or in continuity (such as the points others have raised about Lucy). Each of these processes requires a completely different frame of mind, and to read the whole document checking for errors whilst telling oneself to completely disregard the details can be extremely difficult. Great story! Hope to see more from you.

Great until the daughter.

Nice, no, a sad twist to the story at the end, hope theres a story to follow this one with the daughter.

May you could see how things go with the daughter,dating leading to full sex& get her pregnant or live as a couple.