All Comments on 'A Mother's Succubus, A Son's Confusion'

how did Christopher become possessed?

I hope more parts will be ut soon.

How did she do all these things ???. I understand her friends helping, but how did

she fuck up her son??. The floor, the noises, and his dreams ???. Well done,

nice job 5++*** .THANKS

The fucking in the first half felt really silly and out of place. I think it was mostly due to the dialogue and how you didn't allow any real suspense or build up.

Guys you are right about the ending. It was lazy of me. I'll do a rewrite and fix it.

I think you have two options:

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1) If you want to go with it was all a scam on her part to seduce him, tone down on the "possession" parts, such as his feet stuck to the floor.

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2) Go all in on the possession, that they really encountered a demon or even that she conjured up a demon to force Chris to fuck her.

1) It's a chaise lounge, not a chase.

2) One pores over a tome.

All in all the tale was good, Keep writing and posting, after an editor has cleaned it up.

I enjoyed this one no matter what anyone else says. Mom was definitely devious but she knew what she wanted.

You really need to learn about homophones (words that sound the same but have different meanings and spelling.)

Example: "Her complexion is pail." The correct word is Pale, as in: 'Her complexion is pale.'

A Pail is a bucket, as in a pail of water.

'Her complexion is pale' means that her skin has little color or is very light in color.

Pore means to read a book or document very carefully.

Pour is what you do to empty a pail.

Poor means low-income(broke), or bad quality.

They all sound the same, but have completely different meanings.

Yes, homophones are confusing, but that's English.

I know. I sound like an asshole here, but words are important!

Nothing screams ignorance like using the wrong word in a sentence even if it sounds the same as the correct one. I am not insulting you here, I am pointing out something you need to know If you really want to write well.

Also, I agree with the other commenters; The ending was just lazy.

Either lean into the whole possession thing or get rid of it completely.

This tale of yours has the potential to be a good story, but this version is rough and messy.

This was a very good story, with

a few flaws. Maybe those who read

your work would like that rewrite.

I know I would, it could be great.

..THANKS..

USAF

This is a great story. Great job. U have a gift of writing. But one mistake was made. In the story the mother gets the shot for birth control so she dont get pregnant by her son. The ending makes no sense if she went to the doctor and got the shot. Unless she lied to him but he caught her coming out of the doctor so she had to be there for a reason. I love the story but always pay attention to your story and re read it to make sure it sounds correct. Just a suggestion.

This was a good story; however, it is not possible because I don't believe in spirits.

Just don't feel right how could the demon be in two places at the same time it was in his mother and out talking to him HA HA 3 stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome story! Please write a part 2

Nah, I know it's Fiction but just too far fetched but still gave it 4 stars.