All Comments on 'A Motive with a Universal Adapter 02'

I just want to say, as small of a detail as it is... I love having the link to part 1. It would be incredible if that became a standard, or if literotica actually decided to join the 21st century and update with features including a "read from the start" button.

Well done and high five!

Professional quality. Good characterization, narrative and command of dialogue. Terrific work-- you should be published by a major house!

I seriously thought about giving up my two decades of lurking so I could favorite you.

I didn’t obviously, but I don’t think I’ve ever considered before. (_Maybe_ for Over-red’s Dream Drive)

"Professional quality. Good characterization, narrative and command of dialogue. Terrific work-- you should be published by a major house!"

...and this helped me get over the withdrawal shakes. Love well written cyberpunk / shadowrun and this most certainly qualifies. 5 / 5, my friend. Hope to see more of it!

Thanks for all the comments!

abiostudent3 - I coded the link in there myself. I'm glad it was helpful. Adding previous/next links to series stories would certainly be a helpful upgrade. Perhaps that will make it into the interface before it leaves Beta.

sailandoar - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Not sure I could handle the pressure of writing for a real publisher. but I'm flattered that you (and the anonymous commenter above you) think I'm good enough.

Phineas - I haven't gotten to play 2077 yet (I was too busy writing this) but I'm looking forward tothe new Cyberpunk Red tabletop RPG when it comes out. I'm not sure if have another cyberpunk story in me, but we'll see.

So first, thank you for a very enjoyable read. I'd be thrilled to have more like this.

There are a couple of oddities in the story that bothered me a little, and further, they have a strange asymmetry.

I can't see any explanation for Abby shooting herself with the jezzy when Ritz initially balked. She had recently seen what a mess it made of Ritz, and she knew she had to be on her game for the taping at ICS. And I don't see any positive motivation, Ritz needed it, she didn't. Did she think doing something stupid would convince Ritz? And her inability to do the interview as a result doesn't really advance the plot. Just a complete WTF moment.

But I said, well, this is Lit, it results in some interesting sexual content. So be it.

And then, Carl brings Owl along with the beer, Carl and Ritz disappear, and Abby and Owl hang out, but don't get it on? She had previously told Ritz she was interested in him. So an obvious time for sexual content, this is Lit. But nope! Again WTF.

Excellent points! I wish you have left a name so I could reply directly. I can only hope you come back someday and see this.

Abby shot the jezi for several reasons. First, she takes reckless chances in pursuit of a story, like wandering down a dark alley alone, or dashing out into carcinogenic rain with no protection. Second, most of Ritz's struggle in Part 1 was internal and Abby didn't really see it. Abby thought Ritz was able to handle the jezi, so Abby thought she could too; Abby didn't count on the interaction with the stim tabs making it so much harder for her. Finally, despite Ritz's tough demeanor, Abby rightly suspects that Ritz is a protector by nature. Abby took a calculated gamble by making herself vulnerable in the hopes that Ritz would respond by protecting her. In hindsight, a paragraph or two could have made that more clear.

For the second oddity, Abby and Owl were supposed to get it on, but... well, this story got away from me. It took much more time to tell than I had expected and due to personal circumstances, I had a hard deadline to finish it by. Abby and Owl's scene would have been nice, but it wouldn't have moved the plot forward. I set it up in the hopes that I would have time to come back and add it in, but as the word count climbed and my deadline approached, I just had to cut it.

Thanks for the great comment. Notes like that show that a reader has really paid close attention to a story. I find them even more flattering than simple "loved it" or "great story" comments. If you (or anyone else reading this) would care to discuss further, please send me private feedback with an email address. I always respond.

Excellent story series, very well-written. Every bit as good as commercial stories I've read by big authors. Well thought-out and planned, a fully-conceived universe with strong characters and plenty of complexity and consistency. You could easily sell stories of this quality. Sorry I'm not capable of better feedback than this, but I really enjoyed this work and will check out more of your work!

Excellent. Easily among the best stories I've ever read online.

I wonder if we'll meet these folks again in smaller, separate plots? Be nice to see if Ritz and Carl kept seeing each other, or if Abby eventually made a move on Owl.

Thank you for giving us such a wonderful story!