All Comments on 'A Nerd in Paradise'

Rating this tory is quite hard as the editing is so out of this world. Confusing is a small word;)

One goes to the the next page and three times one is back to where you were. I am a very timid reader and autocorrect misspellings etc but you really have to clear out this extra pages one has to go through!!!!!

When that is fixed it will be a 5+ and fav for a lot of readers including me .otherwize the famous anonym will ha a field day.

I liked the conclusion of the story;) Best of luck!!

Lovely story. many plot lines, lots of interesting detail (food, places, etc.), plenty of drama, good interaction between the main characters, loads of bad puns, bad jokes and Linda's speech patterns. I really enjoyed it. Thank you.

There is some repeated text around pages 4-6. Just a copy and paste error, probably, and easily corrected.

A good story nearly ruined by a lack of editing. That’s the headline. It's also the body copy.

I enjoyed the mixed mandibles.

Looking forward to reading more of your work, especially after a copy editor has had their way with it.

Great effort overall. I would have added a little depth to Flor by them having discussions about her inability to maintain relationships and how her past is affecting that problem. Wouldn't have hurt to have him fold in his family abuse with Linda in a discussion either. I get 11 pages is more than enough, but it seemed missing regardless, especially as you laid that scenario out up front in the story. Oh, and wasn't it supposedly a couple cruise or did cross wires there? 4.7*

Great story!

5

Great job.

Pages 4-7 or 8 have a horrible habit of repeating themselves. I know that this was just released, so I wanted to provide that feedback before I try to find where to pick the story back up. In the middle of the sex scene with Linda, suddenly she is back at the door knocking. I’ve read some of your other stuff, so I do not feel like you were trying to create a day 4 Groundhog Day scenario. It has been very good all the way until it started repeating.

Day 4 repeats ~3 times, the story was decent.

Enjoyed it immensely. Good reading on a lazy day. Thanks for doing this!

I have also entered stories thst somehow had additional sections somehow were duplicated in. I understand. WTF or oh ___<

Loved the writing and the story.

Thanks

Wieliczka

Great story, perfect for the romance category. Plot to sex ratio is high, which I like. The sex complemented the plot. Worth the read. (BTW, had to skip over the repeated text mentioned by another commentor)

Needs to be pulled down and fixed, then reposted without the text repeats.

A great story, but you repeated Chapter 4 three times. Please proofread your final draft before sending it in. The characters were great. The romance wonderful. K

4; with 5 for story, 5 for happy endings, 1 for lack of proofreading.

What a fun story! I just love the lush, well-developed settings that you’ve created for these delightful characters. The plot is charming, and I just love Linda’s mixed metaphors and malaprops. I hope those were fun to write.

I worked through the repeated pages with just a bit of confusion, so thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

This is a very good story in spite of a desperate need for better proofreading/editing. Therefore it gets a 5 star rating for content.

Fun entertaining story. Proofreading sucked.

I got very confused when I found myself reading the stuff I'd just read, Very enjoyable otherwise. Thank you.

This was a good story overall, but it was a little like Groundhog Day with the repetition only without the fun changes along the way. Seriously, it needed an edit for that and some typos or missing words.

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The romance was good as was the non-repetitive part of the story, and I liked the way he gave Rayon or whatever her name was a chance to transform her from a caricature into a part of their team.

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Unfortunately, Flor never got that same transformation and I felt really sorry for her. She was essentially a 27-year-old adolescent who wants what she wants when she wants it and never considers the consequences but who also never learns anything from her experiences on the trip. The portion of the little epilogue telling about what happened to her was disappointing but not all all surprising as a result, though I was glad about the rest.

Very good but day 4 starts on both page 6 and page 7

I just loved the fantastic tourist narratives gave the story such a nice read

I'm pretty sure this is the first 5-star rating I've given; exceptionally well done. Yes, you could have done a better job proof-reading, but I have the same problem; as a writer I just want to get on with the story, I don't want to spend a lot of time in the weeds, so to speak. I usually do fairly well when writing; my first rough drafts are pretty complete, and the second and third time through them are just cleaning up and clarifying. I started a novel on Literotcia; but got fed up with the uneven submission and review; the beginning of my story is still posted here but the bulk is on Patreon. I developed the first few sections into two books on SmashWords (that was a pain in the ass, figuring out how to do it). I find I'm rambling; I need to get back to my own writing, so good luck, and I hope you keep it up. Semper Fi