All Comments on 'A New Dawn Ch. 02'

I liked your story very much There was a good story and good sex What more could you ask for

An all-action story with hot sex, both straight (if incestuous) and lesbian. What more could a red-blooded man need?

The balance between the basic plot and the sex was perfect. Finding such a balance is a rare and wonderful thing. The author is to be congratulated for getting it right.

5/5

Congratulations, I'm intrigued at the twists and turns you made in this chapter that begs for more....

I gave you another 5 stars for this chapter..... it is well worth it.

This chapter should have been stretched into two. Good writing!

This was a very well thought out and written story. Could be mainstream except for the one little part of the story that would have publishers saying nay, although Dawn & Johnny seem very Hot together! :) Thanks for a great evening.

Glocks have no external safety mechanism...

Sorry,

Chunks

Great story and I am sure you can get some more idea's for you and the young ladies for in the future as you know you do have a following out here that really liked the three of you and want more in the future if you are up to it. Just off the top of my head I can think of about 3 more to add to those already written and read.!* Think about it.*

Thanks. JAG

I very seldom comment on stories I read here, But this one was one of the best I have read on Literotica. The only problem I have was the number of times he cum. My nuts would have been drained after the third or fourth time and I would have needed some recovery time between each one.

In the sub-story of the murder, the story cites at first that the cartel wouldn't care about Jen, but the killers would want to kill her. Carlos' name came up as "already new who did it". And later the recount of Jen hearing "Carlos" as the attic hatch closed.

So the intermediate sub-story following the murder didn't flow logically.

But, really, ... a very good story.

Even though Dawn just lost her dad and was only eighteen she comes across as being much older and knows what she wants. I kinda wish I had a girl like Marybeth ( you know a lesbian accept for me :-) A truly good story well thought out and well written.A five.

Ps your not the only Chunks I have a friend with the same nick name. I like him too.

So many of even the best stories are just SEX. There's nothing wrong with that, but the action is more than a nice balance. I'm looking forward t reading the next episode.

Love the action , sex, and the whole plot. Is there a possibility of a Chapter 4, 5, 6, etc.?

What a happy story all around. Glad it decided to write it. Always very satisfying when the wicked get what's coming to them. And the major characters live happily ever after.

I agree.

It started out intimately haremly hot and it became even better when the girls showed their fondness for Johnny. It became great when the actual plot started, followed by witty humor and action.

Just one thing I noticed. "and grabbed the Glock and thumbed the safety and handed it to her." I have yet to see a Glock with a safety other than you have to have your finger fully on the trigger. Police issue or otherwise. Love the series! keep up the great work and thanks for sharing

I agree with Rogue120, about the stories and, generally, about the Glocks. The Glock 18 does have an external safety/full auto setting but that's for some European LE people and it isn't imported into the US.

Keep them coming!

This story had a lot going for it then you went and made it crazy and trashed it. Can't they just find love and leave the lesbian out of the situation? 1 star

Great story, well told, good characters.

Well worth 5 stars !

The geometry in the inital sex scene is wrong... and adding the lesbian was a mood kill.

Great story, first off. Didn't want that lost in the rest.

I seriously don't get the negative reaction to Mary Beth being part of the relationship. Is it just because she calls herself a lesbian? Is it because they don't like poly/harem stories? Should this have been a monogamous incest story?

Goo lord! This story is in the Incest/Taboo category! I have no doubt you can find others in the category that have an aunt and a niece together banging daddy/grandpa... Seems silly to complain about a little plain old homosexuality in this category.

Everybody has different squicks I guess and it's obvious from some of the things I've read here on Literotica that some people really get off on what squicks me, but I'd think lesbianism is about as mild and safe a "kink" as you'll find around here.

Where's chapter one

Where is Ch 1?

It was removed for violating site rules.

Chapter 1 is still there it is above the New Dawn Series. Somebody thought that is contained under aged sex and it did not and was put back up.

I gave the story 5 stars. It was great. Just like the rest of the series. I'm a big fan. Side note though, Glocks don't have safeties. I'm not criticizing in the least. I just wanted to let you know. Keep up the great work.

I wondered about the lesbian having unprotected sex, and her wish for a child... or not.

Sounds like a good place in the story for a new detective agency to open up in town.

Aah, what do I know? I'm not an author yet, just a perv reading these

I liked the flow of the story.....COOL BEANS!!!!!!

Glocks don't have safety's. Other wise a good tale.

There are a bunch of cop/incest/ménage/poly series stories on this site. Most aren’t that good because the authors forget to balance the sex with required elements like plot action pacing character development and dialogue. This one is one of the best I have come across and speaks well of the demonstrated mastery of the author.

I give you a well earned 5 stars. Outstanding across the board. It also screams for a novella treatment in an extended story. This would be the introduction.

Really sweet.

The Grammar Nazi in me balked at, "It was sad saying goodbye to the place that had brought Mary Beth and I together, but ...."

Correct form is, "It was sad saying goodbye to the place that had brought Mary Beth and me together, but ...."

Excellent flow and weaving of the detective and sex action. Hope to read more of this type and quality writing.

5*

BJ

At the top of your writing, you said that you just reported the actions of your characters. As an author myself, this is exactly what happened to my own characters in my trilogy. My characters each took a personality and a life of their own and I was just reporting what they said and did. This is somewhat tricky because you need to match the writing with so many thing: man or woman; age; lesbian, gay, straight, etc.; profession; training, etc. etc. and you need to keep it up and believable as the characters age.

As I commented before, this is an excellent story. Congratulation.

5* for my second and third readings.

BJ

The fighting scenes were terrible. Ranger, delta, so bad.

The whole story went bad Weber marry Beth was incorporated into the story it would have been better without her in the story if you writ an incest story just keep it incest

Very nice, the series gets better and better, voted FIVE.

Still going stronger and growing better... thanks.

"The fighting scenes were so terrible."

Really, Anonymous? Ever been in a knife fight? I have. And the coat saved me. Please, feel free to cast aspersions and stuff. I don't know any Delta folks, but I have a couple of Ranger buddies. They've vetted what I wrote. So... stuff it.

This went fom one of the best I've read to one of the worst right at the kitchen break-in. After that, just pure Bull Shit!