A New Leaf

I thought about it. "Okay, Ryan, here's the deal. I don't hate you. You are scum, but I don't care enough about you to hate you at this point. You did your best to fuck up my life and the lives of the most precious babies on the planet. I spent 12 years of my life with a fuck-up. How do you propose to pay me back for 12 years of my life?"

He spread his hands in a helpless gesture. "I don't have anything. All I have is regret. I'm going to live the rest of my life in regret, Kiersten. There is nothing I can do about that. I'm just asking for mercy. I know I don't deserve it, but the only thing I can offer you is to disappear from your life. I'll move away. You'll never see me or hear from me again. Just let me get and keep a job long enough to save the money to leave. I'll move as far away from here as I can get."

I looked at him. He was a wreck. He'd wrecked himself, but I was done. "You do that." I said. "I'll give you six months." I stood up, and so did he. "Goodbye, Ryan," I said.

I turned and walked away. I never looked back. I realized as I walked through the park that a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt free; I felt like laughing; I skipped like a little girl out of that park, making a fool of myself while people stared. I didn't give a damn. I was free. I realized that I was done waiting on my life to resume. I was awake, I doubted I'd ever think of him again and if I did, I would just smile, knowing I'd dodged a bullet.

I had let that fuck-boi have too much power over my life for too long. He had nearly closed my heart for good. Not anymore. I was open again. It felt good.

I called Regan on the way home. "Hey, Boo, when we going on that date?" I asked.

"Oh, my God! Really? I'm not doing anything right now!" she said.

I laughed. "Well, I am. Friday night, okay? I have to get a sitter. I'll pick you up at six, deal?"

"That's what I'm talking about," she said. "Kiersten, you okay, girl? Did something happen?"

I'll tell you about it Friday," I told her. "Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you, bye."

I had some talking to do with my girls. They were playing some game on their phones when I got home. "Mama needs to talk to her babies," I told them.

"Wait for a minute, Mom," Fiona said. "We're almost through with this level. If we quit now, we'll get a penalty."

I sighed. It was always like that. Modern times, modern problems. I had modern solutions. I went and got me a beer, and sodas for them. By the time I got back, they had finished and they put their phones down.

"Remember when you sandbagged me last week?" I asked them.

Dierdre dropped her jaw like she was shocked. "'Sandbagged' is such a harsh word, Mom. "Got you out of the house" is what I would call it."

"Yeah, you got me out of the house, by sandbagging me. Don't worry about it. Mama knows her babies are looking out for her. I was a little irritated, but you two started something you probably don't understand. I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going out with Regan Friday night."

They looked at each other. "Umm... well, you go out with her all the time," Fiona said. "What's the... oh. OH! Oh my god, Mom! Really?"

"Like out on a date?" Dierdre asked.

"Yes, like out on a date."

"Yeet," Fiona squeaked. The gave each other a high-five.

"So, you girls are okay with, like, her being a woman, and all?" I asked.

That got me a twin eye-roll. "Duh," Dierdre said. "She won't leave the toilet seat up. We don't need no stinking men." They collapsed laughing, and it was pretty funny, but I just shook my head. They didn't need any encouragement. Lunacy is a dangerous condition, and they had it bad.

*****

Our date got off to an awkward start. I had known Regan for five years, but having a girl who is your best friend and having a girlfriend are amazingly different. I felt self-conscious in a way I had never felt with her, and I didn't like it. What the fuck? We knew everything about each other and I loved her deeply. This shouldn't be an issue. I decided we both needed some air. I pulled over at the park.

"Let's go for a walk," I said. She looked at me a little curiously, but she got out and I met her on the sidewalk.

"Sup?" she asked.

"Walk with me," I told her. I took her hand and it felt cool and comforting in mine. I swung our arms a little as we walked. We turned the corner of the sidewalk around some bushes and there was some kind of disturbance just ahead. There were two young black men and a police officer blocking the way. He was yelling at them, and they were giving it back to him.

"Let's go the other way," I said.

Regan was getting out her phone. "No," she said. "I'm going to take a vid of this."

"Jesus, Regan, don't start any shit," I begged.

"How can you say that?" she snapped. "I'm just standing here recording. This shit happens all the time and I'm fucking sick of it."

"Okay, lovey, we'll just record," I said. I got out my phone.

The dude noticed us recording and told us to stay back. We didn't move, so he came stalking over, acting like he was all tough, and shit. He wasn't bad, except for that belly, but he had no idea. The sidewalk was along the riverbank, and it was a little secluded where we were standing, and that was his first mistake: thinking he could get away with shit. His second was believing the hype. He'd been told he was a bad-ass by someone, and he believed them; that was his second.

He came striding up to us, macho, mirrored shades, uniform, and shit, and he just knew he was intimidating. "You can't take video of me," he said.

Neither of us said anything. We just continued recording. "You're interfering with my investigation," he said. He walked right up on top of Regan, standing about four inches away. "Now you're videotaping me," he said. "That's interfering with a police officer in the course of their duties."

"This is public property," I said. "Beat it, mutt."

The shock and outrage on his face nearly made me break out into giggles, and Regan snorted.

He reached out his hand to grab my phone. "Don't touch me," I said. "I'm engaged in a constitutionally protected activity. If you touch me, I have it on video and I will consider it an assault."

"I'm a law enforcement official," he said.

"The law clearly states that if I am assaulted while I'm committing no crime, in a place where I'm allowed to be, I am within my rights to defend myself against a law-enforcement official, even if defending myself results in the death of the law enforcement official," I said. "Trust me, I'm an attorney."

He made his third mistake, grabbing my phone and twisting my finger painfully, in the process. I dropped the phone, grabbing his left wrist in my left hand. I quickly spun, keeping his left arm extended, grabbing his hand with my right, my left armpit on his left shoulder, and dropped my weight on that shoulder.

He staggered forward two steps before falling on that fat belly, his face on the sidewalk and the air exploding out of him. I continued to leverage that arm, twisting it up and he screamed as the shoulder popped. I felt him go limp and dropped the arm. I took his gun, took his back and wrapped his neck in a choke. I wondered how many lives he had changed in the same way. He started to come to, tried to move that left arm and moaned.

"Lie there and be quiet, bitch," I told him. "I'll choke you out and throw you in the river. Nod if you understand." He nodded.

Regan squatted down beside him. "Looks like you're in a pickle," she said. "Shouldn't have fucked with us."

I laughed. "Regan, go back to the car and get my ID badge," I told her. "It's in my bag. Key is in my pocket." I was extraordinarily fond of that dress. I hoped it wasn't damaged. It had pockets!

She got the keys and I heard the doors chirp after a minute. She came back and squatted down again. "Show him," I said.

Regan held it in front of the cunt and he read it.

"I'm going to let you go now," I told him. "Are you going to be any trouble?"

"No," he said.

I helped him up and dusted him off. His arm was obviously hurting, and it didn't work that good. He was going to have some trouble with that.

"You have a bad attitude," I told him. "You seem to think that having a badge and a gun makes you special. It doesn't. So far, you're a disgrace to humanity. You swore an oath to serve and protect your community. You forgot about that and decided to become a bully. Fuck you, for that. Now I have your gun, and you know who I am. What do you think I should do?"

"I... I'm sorry," he said. "I... I..."

"Forget about it," I said. "I have an idea. Why don't you forget about all your bullshit and just try being a decent human? I won't make a report. How does that sound?"

"I... thank you. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," I told him. "You might piss me off. I'm taking the gun. I'm going to unload it and we're walking down to our car. I'll leave the gun and the ammo on the sidewalk there. As soon as we turn the corner, you can come and get it." I nodded toward Regan. "She's going to watch you. If you move before we turn the corner, I'm going to come back here and beat your ass. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I patted his shoulder and he winced. "Good boy," I said.

We went and got in the car, I handed the shit to Regan and she put it on the sidewalk. I drove away and we turned the corner while Regan watched.

She looked at me and didn't say a word. "What?" I said.

"He didn't move," she said, then laughed like a drugged hyena. She flopped around in her seat and laughed until she couldn't breathe. That got me started and I had to pull over in the next block. We laughed for minutes.

"God, Kiersten, you're a bad bitch," she gasped, finally. "Remind me never to piss you off."

"You piss me off constantly," I told her, but I was only half joking. She was mad annoying, sometimes.

"I know," she said, suddenly serious. She unbuckled and slid over onto my lap, taking my cheeks in her hands. "I love you sooo much," she said. "You aren't a bitch to anyone who doesn't deserve it. You're a big ball of sweet goo, inside, though. Thank you for protecting me."

She pulled my head down and kissed me. It went on for hours, and she was delicious, soft, loving and fierce. My head was swimming and my nipples felt like they could cut glass. When she let me go, I cleared my throat.

"You're welcome."

She laughed. "You take a girl on one hell of a first date," she said. That set us off again, and when she slid back over to her seat and buckled in, every trace of awkwardness was gone.

She looked up at me with those mysterious eyes. "Where you taking me?" she asked.

I took her to a little place with a very nice salad; it's never fun dancing on a heavy meal. We went to the Night Orchid. It was a new place with a nice dance band playing, and we danced our little asses off. It was fun and she was fun, and oh, so sexy. Those long legs, that tight little body. She seldom left air between us. We kissed a hundred times and I was horny like I couldn't remember being for a long, long time. We had a couple of drinks along the way, and after a last slow dance that felt like fucking with our clothes on, she whispered, "Kiersten, will you stay with me tonight?"

I hesitated, felt her hand slide up and she pinched my nipple. I nearly came, right there, and my body told me I was staying the night with her. My head and heart kind of agreed.

We got the car, and she was touching me all the way back to her place. I couldn't keep my hands off her, either. She had all those long honey-colored bare thighs on display for me to explore, and she felt like warm silk. She purred and made maddening sounds until we parked. We didn't separate much on the way up to her apartment, and when we got inside, she got us both a glass of wine, opened her box and sparked up a blunt. We shared it, finished our wine and she took the glasses into the kitchen.

When she came back, she was naked except for her heels, carrying her dress. I had seen her naked several times, and she had seen me, but she never failed to take my breath away. Everything about her was tight and toned. Small high breasts, slender all the way down, and she looked like an erotic elf.

"You're overdressed." Her eyes were heavy-lidded in that exotic way of hers, and I stood up, pulling my dress over my head. I had on a bra and panties, my tiddies are big enough to need some support if I'm being active, and I shed them and left them in her living room floor.

She led the way to her bedroom, gave me a toothbrush and then we shared the sink. "Wanna shower with me?" she asked. I did. She had one of those rain simulator showers with water coming out of the walls and floor, too, and soaping that amazingly hard body, running my hands over every inch, totally smooth, totally bare, was one of the most erotic things I'd done.

She returned the favor, driving me wild, gentle touch, caress, hands and lips everywhere, the steam rising like my temperature. We dried each other, made our way to her bed and her satin sheets were just the right touch.

We made love, and I do mean love. The first time was soft, gentle, and I felt like I was floating in a sea that was warm and created just for me. She was the best lover I'd ever been with, sensing just what I wanted, and from the sounds she was making, I was hitting all the right notes with her. The second and third times were fierce, and we mated like jungle cats. She had toys, and we used them all until we fell asleep exhausted, and as content and happy as I'd been in years.

We showered together in the morning, and went soft and gentle again. She fed me breakfast and went with me to pick up the girls. They took one look at us and burst into fits of giggling that lasted most of the day. Regan spent most of the day, and lit me up with another of those incandescent kisses when I walked her to the Uber.

"Kiersten, I love you," she whispered. "We're together, right?"

"I love you too, babes," I whispered in her ear. "Yeah, you and me. We'll see where it goes." She gave me one of those dazzling smiles she could flash, and she was gone.

It was a slow walk back to the door for me. Turning a new leaf. I had my life stretching before me, and it felt good. The pain was gone.

Kiersten will be around. I'll fill in her life from time to time. If you have something interesting to say, hit me. You know what I'll do if you talk shit.