A Newlywed's Awakening

But I have thought about Karen many times since then. Always favorably. I've never thought that she took advantage of me. For she was always kind to me and awakened me to a whole new world.

Perhaps surprisingly, my experience with Karen initially made me want to have sex with David more often! I think I developed heightened sexual urges because of my encounters with her, and I only had David to help fulfil them. I would say I came with my husband 25-30 percent of the time before Karen, and probably 50-60 percent afterwards. David came so fast, however, especially when I was assertive, and this made sex with him increasingly become worse.

I soon found I could only come while I was thinking of another woman. I have never ever, ever, told anyone this, but the more I did with Karen, the more I thought of who else Karen was with, and the more I thought about what they were doing. I had so many orgasms with David while I thought about Karen with her friends. I feel horrible saying it, but it became the only way I could come with David.

I have had to come to grips with the fact that an elegant older woman had and was still having incredible effects on me. I often wish I had blossomed even more under her guidance. If I had I doubt I'd still be married. I would have left David long ago.

Part 8 - Today

Today I am still married to David and am the mother of a darling daughter, and have grandchildren I love dearly. My sex life with David slowed a lot after we turned 45, maybe sooner. It was gradual. Recently I've been taking a hormone replacement that increased my sex drive a lot, but he obviously is not interested. My sex life with David is now non-existent. I am comfortable with him, but if the right woman came along, and I had to choose, I would choose her.

So many of my friends my age have no sex life at all, and just have a man for a roommate. More than half of them do not even sleep in the same bedroom. None of them say how wonderful their sex with their husband is, and many that still have sex say it is so mediocre they can do without it.

I am 55 and often wonder whether I am too old to pursue my sexual fantasies. Am I too old to experiment with another woman, or just afraid to take the initiative? I don't know. But I do know that I want to, more now than ever.

I masturbate constantly. I just had my third orgasm of the day. Just thinking back to my affair with Karen made me realize I've long had this secret in my heart. To write it all down has awoken everything in me like it all happened yesterday. I know my renewed sexual drive is stronger than it ever was.

I was at my husband's office the other day and saw a darling, cute girl who works there. I thought of her how Karen must of thought about me. She is so young, sweet and innocent. Just like I once was. I have even thought of myself as someone who might become her Karen.

I also recently met a young woman at a non-work location. She too is young, sweet and friendly. I reached out to her and told her how cute and fun she is to work with and how I have been thinking of her ever since we met. Since then she texts me like I am one of her friends. It's wonderful and, for me, its a turn on. I fantasize about her almost every day since we met. Except that in my fantasies I am now her Karen!