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"I love you."
"I love you too."
_______________
Author's Note:
Older man and younger woman, but both characters are above 18 y/o and they are not related.
This is a work of fiction.
Written for funsies, no beta. I wanted a little romance with my raunchy erotica.
I know I haven't posted in a while, I was busy so I could only work on this one on and off and it took a while. But I saw your comments and emails, thank you so much for the encouragement!
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 1 year agoReally loved this story! Can't wait to read your other stories! I found it mesmerising, the tension between the two characters from the get go. Flowed well in my opinion, was a nice plot twist at the end where the characters actually knew each other. What a way to end a night like that, from sexting and flirting to the real deal. Love it immensely
Anonymousover 1 year agoNeeds tags for dom/submissive.
I was disappointed that it started out hot and mostly well written, but then by page two it was clear it was going to be full of boring and off-putting dom/submissive talk. I couldn't even continue. It was a promising story.
The word smirk was used to describe the look on Will's face six times in the first page, and I could be wrong, but I don't think it means what you think it means. From dictionary.com: "What does smirk mean? A smirk is a kind of smile, but it's not a friendly smile—it's often a sarcastic or arrogant one or one that's intended to provoke or irritate the person who sees it." It has a negative connotation. Maybe that's what you intended, for Will to be giving her condescending looks. It's unclear to me, but even with all the dom stuff it feels misplaced. Also, tenses switch throughout the story. Just a couple things to keep in mind for future writings.
I really wanted to like it! I was drawn in quickly, but if it had the right tags, I would have skipped over it and not been disappointed. Best of luck to you.
