All Comments on 'A Paladin's Training Ch. 15'

So arans capture leads to him finding those other gifted. Ok I guess. Its starting spread out a lot.

Well done sir! A good start on fleshing out the story further and developing a conflict between the Paladins and the Heralds! I feel that a confrontation/ battle between both groups is imminent and that it will likely reveal much about both sides. I also believe that there is a darker origin story about the Heralds and why they exist, possibly something that has been kept secret, simply for the reason that the people of Maralon wouldn't support them if they knew the truth. The Morgai are an interesting addition to the story and I can't wait to see what you do with them! Again, well done sir! 5 stars for you!!

I’m loving this story! I read the first 10 or so chapters for the sex and moved on, but when I saw you update again I thought “sure what the hell, I'll give it another go” and boy am I glad I did! I’ve been burning through chapters!

One request tho, I do miss the steamy sex. I know you’re putting a lot of focus on plot (I’m not complaining!) but I wish each chapter had at least one full on sex scene. Not just a quickie or half description lol call me a slut but I love your sex descriptions!

I'm a little surprised at the leaders of Maralon. Because two of the Heralds were murdered, they give the Heralds carte blanche to torture and execute people? Without much in the way of oversight?

My guess is that this will come back to bite the Heralds later on. The leaders will discover what the Heralds are doing and take action.

Most of the time your sections of story line are too short before you jump to the next place. We’re here then the next moment we are an ocean away on another continent or in a city 4 weeks walk away.

Now I understand that there are multiple story lines that weave together for this story but at the moment they are pretty independent as far as storytelling goes, ie there aren't activities happening that have key events that require them to be told in quick succession. So what we have is a story that just gets going one place and then it’s abandoned for another few sentences somewhere else.

Now your not the only author to write long many chapter stories and when you read those you find that some storyline’s are left out in some chapters as they aren’t important to the overall flow of the story in that moment. You appear to be trying to make cliffhangers within your story scene to scene. So that just shows that you don’t trust your story or your ability to tell it to keep us engaged.

My work around, why the fuck should I need on for a book, is that I read the chapter from the first scene. Now if that first scene is the half cast demon siblings then once you hop to another scene I just skip ahead to your next demon sibling scene read that and so on till the chapter of demon scenes is done. Then i tap back back back back to page 1. I go to the second scene and read all of those in a row to the chapter end. Back to page 1 in that chapter again and I Go to the third scene and read all those. I continue till I’ve read the scenes.

Now this works well and I haven’t had too much trouble so far. Since this is the case it shows that you have too many needless scene splits.