All Comments on 'A Park Affair'

Great job telling the story and expressing the thoughts, emotions, and fears of Wendy and Robb. It was quite romantic. Will send PM with a private comment. 5*

I really enjoyed this story

My how we have grown. Nice job, well put together with a vivid bad guy and likable good guys. Your efforts to entertain us are very much appreciated.

Great story. The sex supported the story well instead of the reverse.

Loved it though the whole him her theme was a little confusing

Wow what a great story. I loved it.

Good story. Well written. 5*.

Magnificient story ... a very enjoyable read ! 5 stars.

To love honour and cherish.

A man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church giving his life for it.

In my decades of marriage it's been my experience that a woman responds best when she feels loved.

Christianity is about your relationship with Christ , your neighbour and yourself.

Loving all 3.

Religion is when people forget that and live by rules.

In the garden of Eden all was perfect till the serpent arrived.

A man's job is to keep him out of his designated garden. Rules alone don't do it. Love is the key.

A good read and well worth the five I gave it; I will be honest here though. I just wish you had stuck to telling the story from one person’s perspective, it jarred a bit when you kept going back and forth. I was left confused why the ex-went from refusing a divorce to suddenly running off into the distance.

I could see the effort you put into this story and I thank you for it, had to read it in three sittings though. Still worth five stars, even with me moaning a little.

I seemed to have gotten something in my eye ... great story!

I actually thought I commented on this yesterday when I read it. This is a well told great story that represents this writers growth. Very entertaining, thank you.

A tedious story about very unexciting people. For what it was, it was well executed so I rated it a 3*, but it wasn't worth the time to read 7 pages. I guess not everyone is exciting and most lives are ordinary and this story makes that point clearly. My three criteria of excellence in a story are plot, character development and dialog. This tale wasn't terrible in any of the three, but it didn't stand out in any either. Like much of life it was ordinary.

GOOD STORY, as I would expect! The back and forth between the two protagonists got a little choppy once or twice, but the device worked mostly. The one place I thought needed a bit more detail and transition was the husband suddenly dropping out and agreeing to the divorce. It seemed a bit convenient and contrived. Yet, all-in-all a good story and fun read. Not too long, but long enough to flesh out the complications of finding equilibrium after a divorce or break up. Thanks again.

Good story. Characters seemed to be developed with dialog consistent with the character. An enjoyable read. Look forward to reading some of your other works.

First off. I want to thank all of the readers that provided comments on this story. I am very pleased as the feedback is what keeps me writing and posting. Two comments, in particular, caught my attention- those concern the decision by her husband to agree to the divorce so suddenly- what was his motivation? First of all, he is concerned about appearances. That is why he insists she attend worship with him. The pressure slowly builds and he finds after she moves out of the house he has less control of her than before and he tries to get control back. When Wendy tells her lawyer she has had enough and threatens him with a restraining order he fears others will now be privy to his misdeeds- law enforcement is involved and where would that lead? Then the prospect his affair would come out in the courtroom if he actually went that far occurs to him- another opportunity for his sinning to be revealed. Do you think the woman he has been involved with isn't applying pressure to keep it quiet?

As one comment suggests, they are ordinary people, unexciting in most respects. That is true of both Robb and Wendy who are thrown together by her suicide attempt (something I guess that isn't extreme enough for some readers in terms of emotional trauma).

I chose not to give Wendy's husband but a small direct role in dialogue; in fact, his name is mentioned only once. I don't tend to beat readers over the head with blatant information to explain the motivations of the characters. I hope this comes out in dialogue instead. There are times when I am too subtle in this regard and this may be one of those times. I will look the story over based on the comments and make changes where needed.

Again my thanks and appreciation for taking the time to comment. Rachel

Wonderful story!

5

Rachel great writing and a very nice story. Keep up the great work.

After a strange, even kind of contrived, beginning, the story progressed well and was a pleasure to read. Like some of the others, I was kind of surprised the ex-husband just dropped out of the picture without further problems. The chance meeting in the park with the church woman was funny and satisfying. The back and forth between the characters was well done and didn't detract as far as I was concerned. The sex was nice but it wasn't the main point of the story so it was welcome but not over done. Well, you've kept me up past my bedtime, but it still gets five stars. Thanks

Well written for the most part, although there seemed to be gaps, like alluding to disagreements between Wendy and Robb without showing them. On another note, the line “as screwed up as the Jews” is very offensive. It implied it’s common knowledge and commonly accepted that Jews are screwed up as a baseline, and others are compared to them. You could have said, “it’s not just us [Christians], but Jews and Muslims are screwed up too.” See? The same meaning with the anti-Semitism.

The phrase, “ Not that the Moslems didn't do the same damn thing, they were as screwed up as the Jews I had concluded” is offensive. Yes, you are insulting three faiths, but you give an example of Christian misbehavior, and Muslims are described as “just as bad as Jews.” And Jews? Oh, in your story they are the universally known baseline for bad behavior - obvious, known to everyone, and no need to justify the obvious. You could have said, “not that Muslims and Jews didn’t do the same damn thing.” See? Same point, no anti-semitism and no offense.

Thank the Anon readers so much for the comments relating to the three faiths Wendy mentions. She is completely disillusioned with prayer and its lack of result. She intended to be equally offensive to all of the groups. I completely missed this and have made changes to the manuscript. These kinds of comments are very helpful. One should always remember there are good people of all faiths, or no faith, in the world.

Thanks, Rachel

Very nice story. Well done.

This is definitely most romantic and lovely story. Definitely a 5 star 🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟

My wife gives this 10 stars!

loved it

This is a very well-done Romance. The writer deserves 5*s.

The story revealed some very disturbing things that I have personally seen far too often as a counselor. In that sense the story in accurate about life

In effect this was a frightening story about a woman with an extremely abusive husband, Cecil. To make matters worse he claimed to be a member of a purported Christian Church. (I used the term purported advisedly-if the husband and the other members to which we are introduced are representative, then neither Christ nor the apostles would recognize it as Christian.)

A woman of the church was Cecil's playmate and he claimed to have the support of his pastor. If the pastor supported his adultery and abuse then they were on the road to hell together, for neither of them was a Christian. The hypocrisy showed as the husband condemned his wife to hell for what he did himself, though Jesus held out hope and the offer of forgiveness to ‘sinners’ (for which he was often condemned by the “churched”). It is such people who not only abuse people, but the name of Christ the Lord. The innocents, such as the wife, rightly leave the church, and sadly often want nothing to do with any church.

Churches like the one this appears to lead more people to hell than do the unbelievers. They give them a false sense of security, so they never really read/study/understand the Bible to learn what God says. A church that does not faithfully teach the Bible is a false church and certainly not Christian.

According to the Bible a man is to love his wife unconditionally in the same way God loves his people. The only one Cecil loved was himself. He was not a Biblical husband and ended the marriage, from a Bible perspective, when he committed. adultery.

It is such people who not only abuse people, but the name of Christ the Lord.

The Hoary Cleric

Ok. I was told to read this and I'm glad I did.

To tackle a sensitive subject such as this takes guts but above all, conviction. Einstein had a happy day. So did I the day I walked out of a church and away from religion. To those who need the crutch, may nobody ever take it from you. But those who take a first step to standing by themselves may fing themselves not alone but free.

Well written

May I comment as an Orthodox Jew? The Rabbis involved in my first marriage advised us to divorce, I was borderline manic depressive and she suffered from SEVERE post partum depression. AND get some real therapy! We both did, both remarried, and to this day we all get along, I really like her husband. The rabbis involved were, sincere, caring, non-judgemental, and clearly wanted what was best for both of us. One of the elder Orthodox Rabbis in the US has urged all Rabbis to get some honest training from mental health professionals, or STAY OUT OF COUPLE COUNCILING! The Pastor in this story, was as messed up as his congregents

very nice and well written story. Quibbles; Wendy infers at some point that shed had a couple of lovers before cecil, so how long did she date him? how often did the have sex and what kind and how was it? she seemed surprised and disappointed that all she was getting was missionary, no oral or anything that wld make the sex fun, spontaneous as well as enjoyable, so Why Did She Marry Him? She shld have taken some pics when she discovered him cheating, made copies and gone to church and put the cpopies of the 2 pious churchgoers actions into hymnals or prayer books for the congregation to find. that wld explain why she was 1- divorcing and 2- who the real turds were. rk

I liked it, just a bit long because you repeated some things, he said she said, nice plot line, good character set ups I thought you planned it well

Nothing romantic about adultery.

Nice story.