A Perfectly Strawberry Romance

[Features: Yaoi, handholding, vanilla, smiles, femboy, first time.]

I had never been with a guy. I feel like this point is incredibly important but to get to where we're at, we have to start at the beginning of all of this.

My name is Jeremiah Smith, an incredibly boring name, so I usually just went by "Jake." It was simpler and honestly, was a lot better in my opinion. Jeremiah Smith was just too...well, we've already said that it's really really boring.

I was a college freshman, 19, just got out of high school. College was very different. Very very different. It was great, honestly. When I was put into a class with a 30 and 40 year old, I knew that I wasn't going to be treated like anything less than an adult. And that was awesome.

The course work, less so.

I was studying to be a Mechanical Engineer, or, well, I would be. The first year was just the most basic of basics. English, some math, some electives, etc. Nothing too special, nothing too hard as long as you studied outside of class, (that first semester sucked. Learning that for every hour of school means you should spend at least an hour outside of it studying was a wake up call.) and in general, meant you had a lot of free time on your hands.

And that's when I saw him.

They say that when you see someone you really love, your mind goes crazy. Personally, I've always thought that was a bunch of hogwash. And this proved to be just as true here. Except, well, I definitely felt something alright. And that something was general confusion.

He looked pretty. That was what my mind was telling me. He didn't have a ton of make up or was extremely flamboyant or was just clean shaven or handsome or anything. They weren't necessarily drop dead gorgeous and unless you needed glasses, they were still pretty clearly a guy.

Yet, they looked pretty. And that made my head do a loop. I couldn't say I understood it at the time but I knew one thing, they wouldn't leave my mind.

They were sitting at a table at lunch, hanging around with some people, probably friends. I myself was hanging out with some people too, just relaxing but I couldn't get my mind off them. When I saw my friend Jerek (curse his much cooler name than me) I at least managed to pull my eyes away. That, of course, fucking Jerek, didn't stop him at all.

"Oh? I didn't know you were gay."

"I'm not."

"I don't know. You were staring at that guy over there pretty hard."

I just continued to eat my sandwich while rolling my eyes. Feigning disinterest. This was a pretty nasty game that me and Jerek would play every once in a while. He would tease me about something, really anything, and then he wouldn't let it go because it was so funny to him. Doesn't matter what it was, whether it was true, etc. I accidentally once told him "I kinda hate oranges a little" and he wouldn't let that go at all. Would bring it up every other day saying stuff like "oh, are you sure ya wanna eat that? I hear it's got oranges." and etc.

To be fair, I beat him at literally every video game we've ever played so I considered it pretty fair while growing up. Glad to see college hasn't changed us that much.

The only defense I had ever found was one of two things. A. feigning complete disinterest and hoping he stops and chooses something else. Or B. actually really not liking what he had chosen to make fun of and asking him to stop.

Sadly, option A failed me here.

"I knew college would be a whole new experience but wow, didn't know it went that far. And all this time I thought you were a ladies man."

I had to snort at that. That was pretty funny right there since I had never been in a relationship. He wasn't always funny but he pulled through every once in a while. And God help us, no one could say he didn't try.

"Yeah yeah, I'll become gay when you do. How's Emily by the way?"

He had to grumble at that.

"Still wish we could've gotten more classes together. But you're not getting out of this that easily. You were staring pretty hard after all."

"I was not."

"Were too."

"Was not."

Our childish back and forth continued until lunch ended and we each went our separate ways but it made me keep thinking of the guy I saw. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. As luck would have it, we had the next class together, which was weird. I mean, the semester had already started a week or two ago after all. I decided to sit next to him.

"Hey. Switch classes?"

"Yeah. I originally had Mr. Fletcher."

I grimaced.

"Yeah, I had some friends tell me about him. Apparently he is just the worst, ever."

"Yeahhh, I wish I had known ahead of time. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled out an honest to god abacus.

He laughed and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"By the way, what's your name?"

"Oh uh, Jeremiah but everyone just calls me Jake."

"Cool, I'm Ryan. Ryan Reynolds."

It took my brain a second.

"Like the actor?"

"Yup!"

Ryan was pretty fun. We chatted about whatever and how awful of a teacher Mr. Fletcher was for a while. Then Ryan asked me a question.

"Hey, could you help me out a little bit after class if you're not busy? I'm still playing catch up and calculus can go fuck itself."

"Ha. Yeah, sure, I've got nothing going on afterwards. Was just gonna do some studying and homework in the library anyway."

And that's how I ended up alone with Ryan. I mean it was a big library, not a lot of people around us. Thankfully, Ryan wasn't bad at math. Unthankfully, I couldn't answer some pretty basic questions.

"But why does it work like that?"

"Uh, I don't know, it's just the formula we were given."

"God, I hate math."

It was pretty relaxing and fun teaching someone stuff and Ryan was pretty chill. I kept looking back at Ryan and it was just, nice I guess. Good to make new friends. My mouth was apparently faster than my brain.

"Wanna hang out sometime?"

What the fuck.

"Oh, like just chill and stuff without all the work? Sure. I'll give ya my number. Hit me up if you got something going on or anything like that."

"Yeah, same."

Yeah, this was fine. Just making friends, don't know why I panicked there for a moment.

We went back to it but I still kept finding myself looking at Ryan. He really did just, look pretty. I couldn't think of any other guys I'd really describe like that. It was a bit weird but, hey, I'm not judging or anything. That's fine for guys to look good. Still, it was, kinda distracting weirdly.

We finished up with our homework studying soon after that.

"See ya tomorrow in class?" he said.

"Yeah, sure man. See ya then."

And that's how it all started.

Me and Ryan started hanging out more after class, even after he'd caught up that week. It was fun to have a study group. Most of my friends weren't in the same classes, so we only really saw each other at lunch and no one wanted to do homework or any studying while eating.

I was having lunch with Jarek when I saw Ryan across from us.

"Still staring at that guy huh? You must be more down bad than I thought."

"Shut up, it's not like that."

"I mean, he is good looking but I'd thought you'd be more into bears."

Curse me for being friends with Jarek and curse Jarek for thinking that he's funny.

"Ugh."

"Why are you looking at him then hmm?"

"We've been hanging out is all."

"Hmm? What?"

"We have the same class. We hang out and study afterwards."

"Oh. Oh I see. Well go get em tiger, I knew you had it in you."

"You are insufferable."

"Big word coming from you. But I think you're missing something."

"What's that?"

"No U."

Ugh.

The jokes continued for a little while before:

"Hey, why don't we go eat with him if you guys are friends? His table's got room."

"Uh, I don't know about that."

He gave me a weird look.

"Why not?"

"Well I don't know the rest of his friends or anyone. It'd be kinda weird."

"Pshh, nah. Let's go."

"Wai-" but he was already up.

I followed after as he made a direct bee line for Ryan.

"Hmm? Oh hey Jake."

"Yo, I'm Jarek, mind if we sit with you guys?"

"Sure, go ahead." Said someone else at the table.

We sat down and Jarek and Ryan immediately started talking.

"Didn't get your name yet. Was just told Jake's been hanging out with you."

"Ryan Reynolds."

"Co- wait. Like the actor?"

"Yup!"

I felt like I was gonna break in half by the tension. I didn't know wh- No, I knew exactly why. Jarek isn't exactly known for being subtle, peaceful, or funny. It's only a matter of time before he says something wro-

"So, you and Jake dating or something?"

Fuck.

"What?" Ryan said in the most bewildered tone I've ever heard. Jarek, seriously, go fucking die in a hole.

"You guys have been pretty chummy lately" Who says that?! "Just thought It'd be good to ask."

I was groaning inwardly and I was glaring at Jarek. I was about to clearly state that I wasn't gay and he needs to tone his jokes down but then something horrible happened. Ryan smirked.

"Oh well you know how it goes, can't play too easy to get."

Jarek's smile could've lit up the sun.

"Yes, yes, that is true. You gotta go easy on his poor heart after all. Did you know..."

Oh kill me. Sweet merciful god, kill me. Jarek and Ryan went back and forth on their jokes, all at my expense, for a little while, before Jarek started telling embarrassing stories about me and then I really wanted to die.

"Do you even get your foot stuck in a sink? I could understand if it was a hand but, a foot?"

"No idea man and he refuses to give me any good answer to that."

The bell rung soon after and I realized with pain that it'd be me and Ryan's class.

"See ya two love birds later."

"Jarek, I might actually kill you."

"No U."

Damn it. He even fled before I could respond.

"Your friend is hilarious."

"You may be the first person in history to ever think that."

"Haha. So, how did you get your foot stuck in a sink anyway?"

Ugh. And the days continued. It wasn't anything sudden, no massive revelation, no big explosion or dramatic thing. We just hung out and sooner or later, we were friends. Jarek would join us, still making jokes about me being gay and trying to date Ryan, like I knew he would. It even got to the point that Ryan stopped finding it as funny but Jarek would still be at it for another month or two.

Me and Ryan had decided to go get a pizza because if either of us decided to study in the library together one more time, we were probably going to go insane.

"I still don't get why you'd take calculus or why you'd even go here if you're trying to be an artist of all things."

"Because unless I draw furry porn I'm going to need a backup degree and a business degree requires calculus for some reason."

I nearly spat my drink out as he randomly mentioned furry porn but kept it together.

"And me? You don't even seem like you like what you'll be doing."

"Hey, I resent that. Creating little mechanical things have always been my dream you know? Like those little wind up toys or even other simple robots. Like, there was this robot butler on this old show I used to watch and I always wanted to make him. Calculus sucks now, but in the later years I'll actually learn more and hopefully start my own business making those cool little things and if that doesn't work out, well, I can always just work for a company for a little while while I figure it out right?"

Ryan was just staring at me a little, which was kinda nerve wracking. I mean, everyone had their own little dreams right? Even if they didn't say it or had found them yet, sooner or later, you figure out something you either wanna make or do or etc, right?

"Hey, Jake?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Do you wanna go on a date?"

My heart stopped. Maybe literally. My mind went into shut down mode.

What. "What?"

Ryan looked nervous for the first time I could remember, not that my brain was really being all that useful right now or thinking at all.

"Do you wanna go out on a date?"

"I, I uh, I don't, I'm not,"

Ryan looked practically in pain. My brain had finally started to reboot and looking at him from across the table, it had a singular thought before anything else.

Cute.

"Sure." I somehow said. My brain wasn't working and it took a solid few seconds before all my thoughts turned around in shock and panic, trying to find out which part of me had said that. To it's mounting horror, it realized that those words had actually come out of my mouth, reached open air, and arrived in Ryan's ears.

"O-Oh! That's great. What about uh tomorrow at 6, for dinner? At the Japanese steakhouse place?"

"Sure." My brain said again, using whatever it could pull out inside me. It was less actual thought and more automatic response.

"Great. Haha. I'll see you then."

He got up and walked away, but not before putting his hand over my hand.

It was a good few seconds after he left before my brain fully reached sentience again and with it came the only thing available to me at the time.

Panic.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. What did I DO?! What have I Done? What have I agreed to? What. What. What. Dating? A date? With Ryan? RYAN? A dude? I said yes to that? I agreed? What. What did I do?

Eventually, panic gave way to confusion and fear.

Why did I do that? Why did I say yes? Why didn't I say no? I'm going out on a date? With Ryan?

My confusion and feelings were in complete turmoil and I had no idea what to think or how to think or what to do. It was like being attacked while you were defenseless, the shock itself hadn't even wormed its way out of me yet. I panicked and made a snap decision.

"Jarek, can I come hang out?"

"Uh, yeah? You okay?"

"I'll be over soon."

In an utter daze I drove myself over to Jarek's place.

"H-ey... man? You good? Uh, emily ain't here right now, she's out with her friends."

"Ok."

I walked in with a daze, well, that's not really fair. I hadn't left my daze so of course I walked in with one.

"We can play some games if you want?"

"Su- Yeah. Yeah, let's do that."

Soon, me and Jarek were playing mario kart. I was in last place and Jarek was 2nd to last. Despite my brain trying to explode, it did relax me and made me focus on something else. Until Jarek opened his mouth.

"So how are you and lovebird Ryan doing?"

I dropped the controller.

Jarek paused the game and just looked at me.

"Dude, what happened?"

"He asked me out."

"Oh. What did you say?"

"I said sure."

Now Jarek was really looking at me. He didn't even say anything for a while. Just kept looking at me. Then realization seemed to set into his face.

"Jake, there's nothing wrong with being gay you know."

"I'm not gay."

"Bi then. Or pan or whatever. Dude, there's nothing wrong with liking what you like and you like Ryan right?"

I just sat on his couch and held my head in my hands for a bit.

"...I don't know." I mumbled out.

"Well don't think about it too hard. Let's just break it down, slowly. He's our friend right?"

"Of course he is."

"Do you like how he looks?"

I felt like I wanted to smack my head against a brick wall.

"..Yes."

"Then there ya go."

"What do you mean "then there ya go."?! This is, this is, I don't know. It's a whole thing. He's a guy. I said yes to dating a guy. He's ryan. Ryan. What am I going to do?"

"Just go on the date and relax. Look, you like him and you like how he looks. That's good enough for me. Some people don't even need that second part. Just keep it simple. Do you like ryan? Yes or no."

"Yes."

"Then don't stress over it."

"I like him as a friend. I don't, this is, ughhhhh."

I just sunk into the couch.

"You're overthinking it. Look, if he was a girl, you'd have said yes in a heart beat right?"

I felt my face go crimson at that. Would I have? I don't know. I don't know anything right now. Maybe.

"Maybe."

"Then just treat how you'd treat a gi- wait. No. That's bad advice. Treat him how you'd treat any other person, right? He's a person first and a guy second."

A person first and a guy second? I guess, I guess that's right.

"But it's Ryan!"

"So? Ryan's cool. You got a problem with Ryan?"

"No, it's just, it's, it's Ryan!"

"Compelling." Jarek said with a dead eyed stare at me.

I wilted a little. Which was not normal enough for me that Jarek sighed.

"Look, I'm gonna repeat this. Don't over think, don't stress about it. It's just a date. It doesn't matter that he's a guy. Look, just follow my two rules and everything will forever be okay."

Jarek had such a deep smirk that I instantly knew he was fucking with me but I gladly went with it.

"And what are those?"

"If they look good and are fun to be around, it's okay!"

I now returned his earlier dead eyed stare.

"I feel like a few more rules, for legal purposes alone, are needed there."

"Shhhhhhhhh."

I was starting to feel more calm after Jarek's bullshit but my mind was still a mess. And it was tomorrow!

"Jarek, what am I going to do?!"

He sighed heavily.

"Just go on the date, you idiot."

"But it's tomorrow and I've never been on a date!"

"Oh shit."

Thus Jarek quickly gave me a crash course on the do's and don'ts of dating in general. It was all kinda stupid and silly and simple but god, I needed that right now to calm my beating heart.

"And remember!" Jarek said and then smirked "If he says stop, you better stop."

"I'm going to actually kill you. With fire. Lots of fire. An ocean of fire."

He just cackled.

That night, sleep did not come easily to me. And the whole day afterwards, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't even know what to wear! It was all too sudden. Do I wear something fancy or normal? I don't even have anything fancy! I eventually just with regular stuff and arrived at the place around 6. I was panicking, was I too early? Was he going to show up? Were even going to be friends after this if it didn't go well? What if- and then I saw him.

He looked the same as he always did. Pretty face, clean shaven (can he even grow facial hair?), skinny body, wearing some pants and a T-shirt. Literally nothing special, just a regular guy, really...

Cute.

My face felt warm.

"Hey! You made it! Haha. Let's go in." And just like that we went in.

I was still nervous though.

We sat down, ordered drinks and then had to figure out food.

"What are you thinking? I think I'll just get a basic steak."

I hadn't even looked at my menu, I realized. I had quite literally been staring at Ryan and practically slammed my eyes to my menu.

"Uh uh, soup. Soup sounds good."

"Like the beef soup?"

"Sure."

Oh god, this was going terribly.

I felt Ryan's warm hand holding mine and nearly pulled it back from surprise.

"Hey."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Nervous?"

He said that with a smile, while holding my hand, and looking me in the eyes. I was positive he could feel my beating heart through my hand.

"..Yes."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm still just Ryan. The same guy that ate pizza with you and studied with you and beat you at mario kart."

"You did not beat me at mario kart!"

"That blue shell was complete bullshit and you know it!"

"You still lost!"

As me and Ryan kept arguing, I felt myself calming down. Yeah. Right. This was just Ryan. The friend I had known and hung out with for months. Not some random creature that just magically appeared. Just ryan.

A person first and a guy second, Huh.

Except, this Ryan was holding my hand and smiling at me. And I felt myself smiling back. It felt...good. I was starting to feel, no, I had been feeling...warm inside. It just had been buried underneath fear and confusion but, this was okay, right? I was feeling, really happy. But, warmer somehow.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"