All Comments on 'A Phone Call from My Girlfriend'

A mistake in the first two lines set the tone. Please use an editor/proofreader before you submit your next story.

was clever. And DomJ69's comment was pretty snarky. fake writers like Dom are the worst critics because they can't take any criticism themselves!

a little short, i hope there's a chapter 2 with more character development and real sex, but an enjoyable opening.

This was a good start for a story, it was a little short and needs a little more development. Don't give up just explain better what you have in mind and don't assume the readers can feel in the blanks.

Please do write that 2nd chapter