All Comments on 'A Portrait of the Artist'

You have a flair with the pen. Keep them coming. I will be looking.

A classic LW tale. Susan's rationalizations were amusing. I enjoyed the story.

Good first story. Don't worry about the mistakes in spelling or grammar. It's good that the good guy won and the cheating bitch lost. Well done.

This is your first story? Really? Frankly, at the end of three pages, I wanted more. I couldn't believe it was already over. That's due, in large part, to your smooth writing and deft handling of the plotting. Usually, a story like that would've been almost too much like a snapshot, but you conveyed pretty much everything in quick, smooth fashion.

Recommendations for improvement? Try using more dialogue. Don't tell us in prose how she felt; have her tell us in a conversation. Also, I really feel you missed out completely on ratcheting up the tension and conflict by not sharing with us until the end that which we already knew: Clint was well aware of her affair all along. Since you were writing in third person, you could've followed Clint at he watched his marriage disintegrate while also tracking her as she denied he'd ever found out and continued on her self-destructive path.

Still, you really have a winner here, and I hope to see more soon.

Very good story, keep writing

. . . well told. Seems like a person with interests in the art world can have some strength as well. I liked the twist of the ending.

Well written story but could use a little more polish in the telling. Looking forward to future postings.

Very enjoyable story. Usually these stories are told from the husband's point of view. From the wife's pov, it's different. My first thought is Clint was greatly underestimated, and we didn't see much of him, but from the wife's pov, that's how it has to be. Clint is a shadow.

Anyway, good story, may it be the first of many

Chilley

A fine story that highlights the reasons your character gave for her actions. So true to real life as so many people have the "..its not my fault." attitude-that you wrote about so well. Everyone has their own person spin on events and you had the main character express hers well.

Great to see new people submitting non-wimp stories-without the Navy SEAL/SAS/Delta Force/CIA mantra. You had the Hubby take the "better revenge thru better living road."

Look forward to more

Enjoyed the story immensely. Excellent first effort on Lit.

Please keep writing and sharing.

She got what she deserved!

Very impressive for a first timer! Thumbs up, looking forward for more.

A nasty villian, a scheming wife, a hero who was much more than was pictured to be and a loving woman to pcik up where the wife left off. Stir liberally and top with a dash of payback. Well done. Looking forward to much more from you.

Thank you for a the view of the mind of a cheating woman. Some might wish that you would continue the story, but it is complete the way it is.

VERY GOOD FOR OUR 1ST 2 SUBMISSIONS. IT IS SELDOM ANY AUTHOR RECEIVES A 5 FOR ANY OF THEIR STORIES. CONTINUE WITH YOUR WRITINGS. TK U MLJ LV NV

Very interesting /Different type of story. I liked it very much , as the other storys you have submitted.

You can't truly write, I hope you put out more stories.

It is a super hyper revenge story, according to my taste: without murder, violance!!!! Unfortunately 5 stars are only!

StangStar06 also wrote an excellent revenge story from the view of the mind of cheating wife: "Circling on the Drain". StangStar06 sent to me by E-mail the next chapter 6 month ago, but he do not want to publish it. Yesterday I wrote an E-mail to ask for publish, because I think it is better, then the first chapter.

The one-sided picture is the perfect philosophical posture!

I admit that with modern electronic equipment you can "see"

things at a distance but you can not get into someone else's

head.

She was not the best really "the best" because she did not feel what was going on around her, and was blind sided!

Great new author!

Good read. Thank you.

Jennifer knows what she wants and she went for him. of course, Susan gave her a way to succeed. good story.

Ernest Hemingway would be proud.

With the black humor, E.A.POE, would be proud. TK U MLJ LV NV

The artist able to capture the quintissential person in a photo. It would have been interesting to learn that Clint knew of her infidelity and felony by observing her and photographing her in unguarded moments, just as he did when she first dated him. Seeing such a photo, Susan would have once more seen herself through Clint's eyes and known that he knew. His observation could have been the predicate for his investigating her activities and stumbling on her felonies.

The very end, as written, is more abrupt than the rest of the story, and Clint using a poor photo to express himself seems out of character. Rather, had he sent her an artful piece revealing herself to her, she would have been consumed with despair as she had earlier been consumed with joy at seeing herself through his eyes.

Still, very good. Thanks.

great story - well told.

5 stars, using the wife's POV is always a challenge and it was handled brilliantly.

I enjoy the development beginning and middle as things were reveal. But i found the ending lacking. Maybe i was just greedy and wanted to read more.

Overall a ****

hope to ready more of your works

Short and sweet, but no less a good story.

I'm glad clint moved on

Loved every word of it. Very subtle the way Clint may have had more to do with her downfall.

Just the perfect length! You have a new fan

You have a great start, a well developed middle and an absolute dud of an ending. The scene in the gallery is a tag-on and the final bit with the picture is just annoying since it leaves a bunch if irritating questions that detract from the story. Having opened the can of worms regarding where and how he got the photo and where and how the FEEBS got their info for warrants it is just a pain to leave all that hanging. Without a real ending, it gets a generous 3.

well, served and delivered!

The story starts well but what happened at the finish ?

"Susan could care less at this point; for her the long ordeal was coming to an end..."

I suspect you meant "she couldn't care less". Think about it. They are exactly the opposite in meaning.

The denoument was evident throughout, the lady protesting Clint's naivete way too much, but hey, the way it's revealed was deft and satisfying

But well executed -

You pretty much knew he knew heh - but wondered how she was going to find out about it - "the wimp wins"

It was all about her. A partner follows the golden rule if he/she truly feels love for the other partner. Susan was clueless about the golden rule, but obviously Clint wasn't. He did to Susan as she did to him -- he fucked her life over. And two "wrongs" in this case made a "right.". Thanks for writing.

Thus always to cheating sluts!

One commenter posed the two critical questions, but no answers are forthcoming. Sweety's friend (and replacement) probably clued-in Hubby, but how did he get the picture(s?) of her and Boss/Bull? There are voice-actuated mini-tape-recorders that can be hidden in a purse, but photography would require elaborate set-up that Hubby would not have time nor sufficient access to execute.

Sweety certainly did not tell 'BFF' about the data falsification. A tape-recorder secreted in her purse might provide some of that, but BFF would not need to involve FBI to get the Hubby switchover. Sweety obviously did not rat on herself and the firm/BossBull.

is good

Ha!

All through the story we are told how Susan operated in her own little world only thinking about her needs, desires, wants and goals.Everyone else in her life was there (at least in her mind) to please her including self-centered, brutish Charles.

Charles was more like Susan that anyone else in this narrative. Susan probably didn't have a clue as to what love, commitment and fildelity were. She certainly had none of the afore mentioned values within her. The ending was just, she was hurt, divorced and alone, how fitting for a egocentric slut.

I am in to photography and that was a nice touch by the husband !

The thing all cheaters, criminals and such have in common is over-riding selfishness.

I truly think this is your best. I especially love how Clint was entirely absent up to the end, and even then only in the distance. While the reader only knew of him through Susan's eyes, his character was evident. This is a very powerful device that heightened the emotional impact of the end. I would have liked Charles to have discovered that Clint was the one who tipped the Feds off, but that is trivial. This was amazing. Brilliant writing.

The indifference she seemed to show toward the divorce lessened the impact of her painful cry at the very end, and belied your earlier descriptions of her which seemed much more fully developed and emotionally deep.

The first wife of the husband sounds like my own previous Ex. Really.

Thanks for the story.

How about a follow on for Jennifer - since its his second the chances are much greater than 50% that he will move on from her.

I felt the ending diminished everyone. Essentially a bitter story.

I thought it was brilliantly done and the ending was perfect. Susan clearly underestimated Clint drastically. Sending that photo at the end told her everything he wanted her to know. He was aware of her affair all along, whereas she thought he was clueless, he caused MCG's legal downfall (the conspiracy to defraud was discussed after the sex session photographed), and last but not least, that she is still seeing herself through his eyes, as she did with his gift of a photograph in college, only now as the cheating slut she became.

Voted 5* Thanks for sharing

and some people who aren't savants, TK U MLJ LV NV

it wasn't till he sent her the photograph that she understood the whole picture.

Finally! I enjoy stories where the man acts as a man. No counseling, explanations, hormonal imbalance, reasons why, she cheated-just say goodbye. The Man got his revenge on the 'Oh so superior' cheaters in his own way and so effective. I'm glad he does not even think about taking her back.

Enjoyed the story very much. As I was reading, I couldn't help but think of 'theCelt'. This story reminded me of stories in his Consequences series and also of his writing and storytelling style; and that is meant as high praise.

In so many of these stories the wife "loves" her husband, who makes sweet love to her, but sometimes they "need" to be "taken'>

Does it never occur to them to mention that to their husbands? True, some guys just may not have it in them to treat their wives like that, but why not at least give him the chance before cheating on him?

And in the case of this story, she can't be as intelligent as she would have us think if she thought he got a divorce petition between her arrest and her coming home. He obviously was already working on it and was either going to serve her then anyway, or it seemed like a good time to do it.

Being a student of human behavior I always find these types of stories very sad. Which tells me that you too are a student of behavior of sorts. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to develope such realistic characters and believable scenarios that make your stories very plausible. Thank you, very entertaining, sad but entertaining and that is the goal of the author. To evoke a response and entertain, Well done

and what makes it so scary. TK U MLJ LV NV

When it isn't blaming the victim and the cheater actually pays a price.

You can really get on a RAAC roll around here at times.

Thanks for sharing.

He could have at least given her an opportunity to apologize; despite all the facade of a tender lover, Clint appears quite vindictive and repressed; he is probably too intense for a worldly wise Susan anyway. Adultery is not alright, as much as craving for love and spurning the one who is loved is.

I started with your latest story on 10/14, and then came back to your first alphabetically, which was also your very first submittal on 7/11. You are a very good author, and I intend to read all your stories now in between the two dates.

This story is unique in that the 2 pictures captured her state of mind - in love in the beginning, and in lust for power and sex in the second. We don't know how the second was obtained (perhaps a PI), but the personality change was obvious. That change ruined her life, and she lost someone who loved her very much.

He can forgive, but never forget. Well done!

The DJ

she seems to be in denial as to her actions or blaming others for them

excellent one. For someone who was supposed to be so smart...

... for the laugh. What exactly would an apology do? Nothing. From her it would just be justification for her misbehaviour, and she knew what she was doing 100%. Even if you're the most kindest lover in the world you shouldn't be forced to listen to someone who hurt you in such an intimate capacity

“It's just that I need that something extra from Charles that Clint just can't provide."

Not to repeat myself, but how does she know that Clint “can’t” provide that “something extra” if she never ASKS for it?

Enjoyed this, but I think you missed one little opportunity (in my opinion). I don't think you needed to add "She screamed." at the end. It wasn't really required (the reader can fill in their own desired reaction). But more to the point, I love the idea of ending the story with the exact same quote you used to start it.

Also, if you were to change it, maybe modify the opening quote slightly. You have a comma after the second "Take it," . . . That could be a period to match the ending quote. . . or maybe an exclamation point (but then use the exclamation on the ending quote too).

Great story - ha ha ha - she got what she deserved - it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

I love these stories. FM has a great way with words. Although it would have been a better tag line to have as the last sentence

"Clint had again not photographed her as he saw her' But most readers can pick that up. (As well as it was probably Clint. and/or Jennifer who blew the whistle!)

I would have given you five but you let the whore off way to fucking easily. Jail time was in order. Lesser offense, certainly, but no jail time, not a chance.

The divorce aspect seemed like an extra ... Felt like it was just "there" as a footnote. It left me with a "missing" feeling especially when you wrapped the ending in a photo. It felt like emphasis placed on a nonessential portion of the tale.

"I know, Jen, but he just doesn't do it for me anymore."

So divorce him!

equals

self absorption and oblivion.

He'll never figure it out and catch me equals famous last words.

When a person's intelligence is exceeded by their arrogance - they will cheat. No matter how smart they are, no one can commit the perfect crime. There is always evidence, there is always at least one witness, often arrogant people confess to others to heighten their sense of superiority.

"If only we could have talked, maybe I could have changed his mind. Why would he never talk to me?"

Why couldn't YOU ever talk to him? If only you could have talked about what you wanted maybe he could have given it to you!

I realize stories have an energy and life decided by the muse-ings (sic) of the author, and indeed this is another of your fine efforts.

Perhaps the muse will lead you to an expanded story where Clint's experiences and actions (along with Jennifer's?) would be interspersed to dramatic effect.

Came back and retread this... It is missing a piece. The last two parts are almost "oh by the way...".

Really like the writing.

I would hazard a guess that Clint in his investigation of her affair was bugging her, and that's how he found out about the fraud, and turned over his tapes to the FBI.

Still five stars. Still love it. Started very strong but the ending left me wanting. He chose to never tell her why he was divorcing her, until much later. Why then? Was he the one who tipped off the Feds? Why would she be upset at his revelation? She didn't seem to ever give a flip before. What does this knowledge now make a difference.

My wife left me because of reuniting with an old boyfriend. I knew he had hurt her badly when he popped her cherry, but it wasn't until she left me that I found she was a size queen. Now, my dick isn't small, 7"x6.5" so while not super long, very thick. However, when I walked into my house after a truck didn't show up at our worksite, I wasn't prepared for the size of what I found. My wife was on her knees on the couch and Tom was pounding into her from the back. It could only be called a small pole. My epiphany? No wonder she never felt that tight to me, after fucking him for two years before us.

She saw me and screamed, Tom shouted and pulled that fucking log out of her cunt, spewing sperm everywhere. I told her I wanted her gone for a few hours while I got hold of myself and almost laughed when they drove off together. In one hour and fifteen minutes, I erased myself from her life. Not even a picture was left behind. That included her phone, in her haste she left that too and I deleted them all.

I never spoke to her again. Hurt, I hooked up to our fifth wheel and drove away. Sitting on a mountaintop and camping on top of the world, I sat with a cheap laptop and wrote a book. It took me six weeks and 5 days. The editing took another four days and then I contacted my sister, an agent with, well, I'm not going to say. A large prestigious agency.

Joni was stunned to say the least. While she had a PhD in literature and a few other things, I was a high school graduate. She tweaked it a bit, then introduced it to her agency. Penguin picked it up and basically, I was set for life in a couple different ways. One, I could not only write, but rqim I could produced novels in the 100K word count range every three months, maximum. I still produce them in 4-6 weeks generally.

We didn't do all this until our divorce was settled. Josie didn't want a divorce but I told the court I refused to be married to a cheating whore. Yes, I said that, verbatim. A $2,000 fine stopped my mouth after that, but Josie knew I was done. We were divorced in 4 months and she moved in with Tom. I stayed on my mountaintop and wrote more and when my first printing was released, `100,000 copies, they sold out in ninety days. The second printing, increased by two and a half, sold out in another 18 months. By then, my name was all over our hometown and my ex tried to come back into my life.

Josie had left Tom because she learned fucking a cheater is just that, fucking a cheater. He couldn't stay with just her and when he left, or she kicked him out, I could care less which, he left her a gift. It was one that left warts and all sorts of nasty things down there. She used the premise of having me sign a copy to get in my trailer door and told me how much she loved me. Yeah, I saw her love in action.

I've written and had published fourteen books now. A great fanbase is being produced and they all have sold well. Josie? Well, she still stops in but I let her talk to my wife now. A wonderful redhead I met on a signing tour and we are head over heels in love.

“he loves me completely – he'd never do anything to hurt me." – Until YOU hurt HIM!

"I guess Clint did hear the news, and now he's deserting me. So much for 'for better or worse.'" – As KarenE said, he couldn’t have gotten the divorce petition that quickly, so he wasn’t “deserting” her because of her arrest, he obviously found out about her affair and was already prepared to dump her cheating ass!

“And I thought he was committed to our marriage!" – She’s one to complain about “commitment”!

"I never guessed she was talking about herself," – She has no right to be angry, Jennifer warned her!

If you use law enforcement you need to be on the money. As soon as you lawyer up the questioning stops. Plus to jail somebody you have to charge them. Bail is based on something.

The story got to phony to be good.

I have read and liked some of your work. Be real in the future.

MCPO Jim

An arogant boss, a beautiful intelligent wife, a handsome laid back husband and a friend with a friendly warning .... around these one dimensional characters a very thin story evolved ......

Not one of the best tales from our Francis.

3*

"Take it, Bitch, take it."

Loved it. 5*

Laurel and company don't seem to want to do anything about this but please don't put yourself at risk.



Practice Safe Internet Perversion!

Unless you can provide a usable Facebook (or any other kind of) link then it matters not if you are real or a phisher.

pics or it didn't happen.

and the quote is accurate and appropriate, TK U MLJ LV NV

But it would have been interesting to know who tipped off the Feds about the fraud.

My bet, it was good old Clint.

Speaking of dopes

All you have to do is log into Facebook and then enter dearbornmt@yahoo.com in search box. Same as if you were looking for someone you know

Nice tale of BTB - to the max. It's obvious that Clint knew a lot. He informed the FBI and had the divorce papers ready to go when the FBI arrested Susan. I guess the moral of this sad little tale is that if you play with fire, you get burned. Well played.

If Born That Way had an ending like this one, the lardslammeddung would have stayed awakr

Just post your credit card numbers, bank account numbers, ATM pins, and all relevant passwords and usernames and sign over power of attorney to me and we can all go back to discussing the story, well, if you're not a wimp cuck...

So many stories and comments applaud idea of husband posting details of cheating wife on the web. Then someone actually creates FACEBOOK profile doing exactly that and the dire warnings of scams explode.

Amusing especially coming from comment crowd

written from the cheaters perspective was entertaining.

Yes, this is what might occur when one thinks they are smarter than everyone else. My, how it feels when the dog bites your ass. Thanks.

Excellent portrayal of a hypocritical selfish slut.

Why did she even marry him in the first place? She didn't love him, no matter her claims. She went into the first encounter with her boss without even thinking of her marriage.

Great story. Ended rather abruptly but I guess that's what the end means.

Excellent story about selfish people and about some of them getting their just rewards.

Your sir are a very gifted writer. But I would like a Clint's side of the story. Amazing nonetheless