A Queer Formality

This story was written for the 2024 Literotica 750 Word Challenge, below this line are exactly 750 words:

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"Ugh! What is it with this young generation?"

"Don't let them upset you, Helen. It's their world now, we've had our time."

We were in line, waiting for the auditorium doors to open. An old couple was sipping wine in front of us in the lobby of the small local playhouse. I wondered if they were being loud intentionally just so people would hear.

"I should have suspected such a thing from a series of college playwrights. Thank heavens our children turned out in some semblance of normal."

My friend Tristian had given me a pair of tickets for the debut of their new play, 'A Queer Formality.' I'd figured the title would vette anyone not open to alternative lifestyles but the elderly patrons had probably come out to see whatever was showing that night.

"Look at that one," the old crone hissed. "I can't tell if it's a man or a woman."

I thought she might be referring to me or my date, so I turned around and said, "I beg your pardon?"

We were fastidiously groomed and cross dressed in formal attire. Shelly had glued on a mustache and was wearing a tail coat with a cummerbund. I was in a high neck evening gown of black lace and brocade with a matching veiled pillbox hat.

The old lady tutted. "Oh not you two, dear. You are both the picture of proper social etiquette. I was referring to that hideous pack of deviants." She pointed to a group of non gender conforming college students in various colors of hair and indie band concert tee-shirts. "What exactly are they trying to prove?"

I caught a hint of a wink in the old man's eye. He took his wife's hand and chided her gently. "Now, Helen. We're here for an evening on the town. Let's not put a damper on things by casting any judgments."

Shelly bristled and spoke in her deepest, most proper and practiced stage voice. "They certainly are not seeking judgment, in fact I suspect it's quite the opposite."

"Humph." The old lady looked us up and down. "You appear to be of this loose generation. I am relieved to see that some of you still care enough to present properly."

At that the old man choked and sprayed a mouthful of wine across the front of my dress.

"Jed! What's wrong with you? Augh!' She scurried to the wine bar and retrieved a handful of napkins while her husband apologized profusely, unable to hide the grin on his face.

She returned and began patting down my chest as I tried to assure her the evening wasn't ruined.

"Nonsense! Come with me where we can clean you up properly." She took my wrist and led me away. I looked back and saw Shelly and the old man nearly doubled over in stifled laughter.

Helen pulled me along to the ladies room and stood me in front of a sink and mirror, patting me down with paper towels. I decided to run with it.

"Just a moment," I said. "Help me get my dress off. We can rinse it and hold it under the hand dryer."

I turned my back so she could unbutton the nape of my dress, then I pulled it over my head. She was focused on cleaning while I removed the falsies from my damp lace bra and dropped the silicon lumps in the sink.

Helen froze. Other women came and went, using the adjacent sinks and mirrors without batting an eye. She turned and stared agog as I wiped my broad shoulders and neck with paper towels. She continued in a daze, waving my gown under the hand dryer while I touched up my makeup and put myself back together, still a little bit damp.

The dress was a modern poly blend so it dried most of the way quickly without damage. She handed it to me and watched without a word as I slipped it over my head then adjusted my boobs and straightened myself. She even buttoned me up when I turned around for her.

Helen was silent as we walked back to the lobby where Jed was waiting for us. He took Helen's hand and seemed to steady her. He turned to me and apologized again. "All ship shape? Shelly is quite the gentleman. She promised to save us good seats. Ready?"

As the lights blinked we entered the auditorium where Shelly, the handsome gentleman, helped Helen with the stairs.