A Radical Antidepressant - Pt. 01

"Part of the enrollment in this program would be signing that decision over to Neil, for the duration of the program. Meaning he would be the one to finally decide if you go through with it, and he would be the one decide to pull you out early or keep you in it. You wouldn't be able to choose to leave, without his agreement."

Jane felt a little scared, considering that. She'd be giving up her ability to make decisions for herself. What if the facility was horrible? What if it wasn't a good fit for her and she really did hate it? Then she thought about Neil being the one to decide. He's always been so good to me, so sweet. He'd never make a decision to hurt me.

"Ok, I trust you," she said looking at Neil. "I know you wouldn't make any decision for me that would harm me. You always care so much about me and work so hard to take care of me. How could I not trust you in this as well?"

Neil was nearly shocked that she'd agree so easily. He felt almost glowing, that this woman would put such trust in him, without reservation. He felt a little of the old attraction he'd had for her rekindle, and was reminded just how much he still loved her. Overcome with a wave of emotion, he kissed her passionately. Then, realizing his therapist was sitting across from them, he pulled away, a little embarrassed.

That day, during the appointment, Jane signed the document giving Neil sole authority over her medical decisions. As she signed it, part of Jane nearly made her stop and throw the pen across the room. She could make her own damn decisions, right? She didn't need to be under someone else's authority. Then she softened, remembering how much she loved Neil and how much she wanted to get better.

The next week, during a session, Sandra gave Neil some further details about the program. If he agreed, he'd be signing the paperwork that day and she would start the program in about a week, at the beginning of the next month.

"Ok, so here's what I can tell you about the therapy. Some of their methods are a bit... archaic. They employ corporal punishment."

"Corporal punishment?" Neil thought out loud, "You mean... they hit them?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," confirmed Sandra.

"I don't think I can sign her up for that," stated Neil.

"I know. Other than getting the patient to agree to sign over their authority, this is always the most difficult part of the sign-up process. I think what you're imagining is much worse than it actually is. It's not like they beat them up or punch them or injure them. They spank them. To my knowledge they are very careful about administering punishment. They have protocols in place to ensure no one is cruel or goes too far. Punishments are given in a controlled manner on the, err, usual area for a spanking. That being said, it of course hurts. It's intended to be a deterrent to bad behavior, and as such is designed to safely provide physical pain, humiliation, and also some psychological conditioning. In our culture it's such a controversial topic, but there are many cultures today where corporal punishment is still the norm."

"That doesn't make it sound as bad. But it still sounds harsh... and like you said, archaic. Jane is a modern, progressive woman. Her liberal ideals definitely do not include the physical punishment of others." Neil responded.

"It's very normal to have misgivings about this. In fact, I'd be concerned if you didn't. Part of the process to make this easier, though, is that the person to which they've assigned authority is always present (behind a two-way mirror) to view their first... treatment. That way you can see exactly what it looks like. If you believe it to be barbaric or otherwise not a fit, you can pull her out of the program then and there," Sandra explained. "Of course, it is highly recommended that you do not. If you give it a chance, this system works. But it cannot work if you interfere with the process. That being said, the decision will be entirely up to you."

"Hmm. Well I'll have to think about it a bit more, but if I'm able to view and potentially stop the first... punishment... that makes it seem not nearly as terrible. I still don't like this idea though. I don't want her to be in pain, and I certainly don't want to be responsible for that pain."

"I don't want to rush you, this is a big decision to make. But if you want her to be able to start the program at the beginning of next month, as we discussed, you'll have to sign the paperwork today. And it's extremely important that you don't divulge any of this to Jane. You'd be compromising the treatment, and you certainly don't want to invalidate all of this work," Sandra told Neil in a warning tone. "I'll tell you what, so you have a little longer to think about it, why don't we do this. You can sign the paperwork now, but not date it (so it's technically not finished). You can give me a call tonight and tell me one way or the other. If you decide to go ahead with it I'll date it and submit it, and if you decide not to it'll go straight into the shredder. Sound fair?"

Neil reluctantly agreed, and signed the paperwork.

On his way home, Neil couldn't think about anything else. He'd never imagined being in the position to have to make a decision like this. The more he thought about it on his way, the more sure he became that he just couldn't do that to her. He didn't want to be the one to sign her away to be a physically-punished captive for a month. She definitely isn't perfect, but does she really deserve to be... spanked? He decided that he didn't think so. By the time he arrived at home, he'd all but decided to call Sandra and tell her to shred the documents.

He entered the house, and was soon hit with a bad odor. Walking into the kitchen, he found out why. Somehow, the dishes were unbelievably worse. There were dirty dishes stacked so high they looked like they'd tip over at any moment. Bits of food were left on plates or thrown thoughtlessly across the counter and sink. There was even food on the floor. The kitchen was, in a word, disgusting. Not wanting to spend any more time in there at the moment, he went to the bedroom to change out of his work clothes. He looked around and saw Jane's dirty clothes all over. It probably wasn't that much worse than it'd been that morning, but he really noticed it now for some reason. It would only have taken her a few minutes to put her dirty clothes in the hamper, but instead she left them strewn all around.

Entering the living room, he saw her in her usual spot on the couch. The living room was also a disaster. She'd spilled a bag of chips on the floor, and obviously had made no attempt to clean it up. Neil felt not just disgusted and disappointed, but angry. He didn't want to blow up at her, so he left her sleeping and went to his office. He sat for a few minutes, and thought about all he'd just seen and about the decision he had to make. He decided maybe she did deserve to be spanked after all. He gave Sandra a call and told her to go ahead and submit the paperwork.

Chapter Four - The First Treatment

About a week later, Neil was helping Jane get her things into the back of his car. He locked up the house and they began the long drive to the facility. It was outside of the city, in the middle of nowhere, based on the map and the pictures he'd seen. It took a couple of hours to get there.

He turned into the driveway, nestled into what appeared to be a forest. Before long he saw a checkpoint up ahead. Stopping, he rolled down the window and told a guard that they were here for check-in. "Welcome," the guard said simply. Did he give Jane an amused look, or was that just in my head? wondered Neil. The guard hit a button and the gate slid open. They drove through the gate and down the long driveway. Emerging from the woods, Neil saw a large campus full of greenspaces. There was one main building, with a few smaller buildings alongside. It looked like a small college campus.

The main building might have originally been a large office building, maybe from the sixties. It appeared to be five or six stories tall. The windows were tinted darkly, so nothing could be seen inside. A large sign out front read "The McCallan Center for Mental Health Rehabilitation".

As he approached, he saw a carport and a sign that said "Reception". He pulled up to the front, and parked.

"Well sweetie, I guess this is it. Are you ready?" Neil asked her, feeling a mix of sadness at losing his girlfriend for at least a month and relief that he wouldn't be dealing with all the associated issues for a while.

Jane looked frightened and nervous, and her voice shook a little as she said, "Well, guess I have to be, huh?"

After Neil helped load her things onto a luggage cart, he gave her a huge hug. "I know this is scary, but please know that I love you so much and that I think you are so brave to do this. It's going to be difficult, but I know you're strong and you'll get through it. And on the other side things will be so much better."

Jane hugged him back fiercely, fighting back tears. "I love you too. I can't wait until this is over and we can be together again."

"Me too, honey, me too. I'm not allowed to go in with you, so I have to say goodbye here. I love you so much. Be strong and I'll see you before you know it." He said the last part, thinking of the double meaning since he'd be seeing her through a two-way mirror very soon.

They said their goodbyes, and Jane headed in pushing her luggage cart. Neil headed to a nearby bar. He had some time to kill before he needed to come back to the facility, and felt like he could use a drink with what just happened and what was still ahead.

Meanwhile, Jane approached the reception desk. No one was behind the desk, but there was a bell on the countertop. She hit the bell, and looked around anxiously. After a few minutes she became impatient and hit again. Another minute went by with no response. Fuck this, thought Jane, and she started hitting the bell as hard as she could, as fast as she could.

Finally, a woman in a lab coat and black pants approached from behind the desk. She appeared to be in her early thirties, brown hair, and medium build. She doesn't look overly scary, thought Jane. The woman gave her a menacing glare. "Please stop that. Can I help you?" Her words were polite, but her tone carried the icy authority of someone experienced in not putting up with troublemakers.

Jane gulped, maybe she is a little scary after all, she thought to herself, looking at her resolute face. She still felt rather annoyed at being kept waiting so long. Jane replied, "Yes.", she said with a huff, "I'm Jane Warren. Here to... check in." Under her breath she added, "Sometime this year, hopefully."

The lady behind the counter gave her another glare at that last statement, and then started typing on a computer. "Ah yes, I see you here, Miss Warren. Do you always act so rudely and impatiently?"

Jane felt slightly affronted, "It's you who has kept me waiting! I stood here at least 10 minutes, with no response."

"I see. Do you see the clock behind you?" Jane turned to look, it read 4:58pm. "You were due to check-in at 5pm, correct?"

"Yes," answered Jane.

"So, you arrived early and then threw a tantrum when someone didn't show up immediately at your whim?" The woman asked.

"I... guess so," relented Jane, feeling a little embarrassed. "Uh, sorry. I guess my nerves are just frazzled with this whole thing."

"Your nerves are quite understandable, Miss Warren. Your reaction, however, was uncalled for. Anyway, let's move on. My name is Mary, and I'm one of the counselors here. I'm glad you've decided to join our program. If you leave your luggage cart here, we can see it placed appropriately," Mary suppressed a smirk, knowing this girl wouldn't be seeing that luggage for quite some time. "Please hand me your phone; they are not allowed here. We will keep it safe for you." Jane hesitated, then turned her phone off and handed it over.

"If you'll step into this room," Mary motioned to a closed door to the side with 'Processing' written on it, "We can get you checked in the rest of the way."

"What exactly does this program consist of?" asked Jane. "No one would give me any details."

Mary answered, "You'll find out in due time." Raising an eyebrow, she continued, "Judging by just now, somehow I don't think you'll need to wait long to find out some of our treatment methods."

What the hell does that mean? wondered Jane. She let it slide, opened the door, and walked inside. The next room had a simple folding table in the center and lockers along the sides of the room. All of the lockers were closed, except one on the right. There was another door on the opposite end of the room, presumably the entrance to the rest of the facility.

Mary entered behind her. "Alright, Miss Warren. Please remove your clothing and all items on your person. Place them neatly in the open locker to the right and then close it."

"What? You want me to... strip in front of you? Can't you turn around?" Jane demanded, aghast.

"I cannot. It is part of my job to ensure that you comply and do not hide any items on you. After that is confirmed you will be permitted to dress."

"Well fuck that, I'm not getting undressed," stated Jane firmly.

"I see," said Mary calmly. "Well, you won't be leaving this room until you do so. So I suggest you change your mind quickly. You haven't gone through orientation yet, but you should know that defiance is not permitted here. You will need to learn to be obedient, or your time here will be very... uncomfortable. The longer you persist, the harder your time here tonight will be."

Jane gave Mary the finger, and then crossed her arms defiantly.

"Alright then. I'm going. You will remain here until you've decided to comply. I expect you to knock on the door when your clothes are removed and stacked neatly in the locker. Then I will come back and we can continue. And Miss Warren, please do not test me. You will remain in here all night if need be." As she'd said, she turned and left through the door they'd come in. It closed with a metallic click.

Jane looked around the small room. It was stark. Other than the folding table, there was nothing in the room but lockers. She tried both doors, but both were locked. The fuck I'm stripping for that bitch, thought Jane. Wait until Neil hears about this, he'll have me out of here in a second. She sat on the folding table, waiting. After a couple of minutes the lights turned off. It was nearly pitch dark. She put her hand in her pocket to grab her phone to use the light on it and to give Neil a call. Then realized she'd given her phone to Mary already.

She waited for what seemed like hours, but was probably around ten minutes, in the dark. Finally the darkness got to her. She didn't much like being trapped in a small room in an unfamiliar place, in the dark.

I can't believe I'm doing this, thought Jane. She removed her clothes and placed them in the locker, along with her purse. She closed the locker, and noticed that it locked so that she was unable to open it back up. She now stood completely naked in the room. She covered her breasts with one arm and her nether regions with the other. She walked over to the door, and rapped on it. She decided it'd be best not to push it, and didn't rap on it again.

A few minutes later, the lights turned back on and the door opened. "Hello, Miss Warren. I see that you finally decided to comply. If you'll please put your arms on top of your head, I will ensure you aren't hiding anything."

Jane fumed at having to do this, but figured she might as well play along. She put her hands on top of her head, revealing her full breasts and modest bush. Mary looked her over, spreading her legs and feeling to make sure she wasn't hiding anything. "Alright, Miss Warren. You would have found your new clothes in the locker next to the one you placed your old clothes in. Due to your behavior, however, you will have to wait until you get to your room to dress."

"What!? You can't make me walk around naked!" Jane exclaimed.

"You are the one who chose that." Mary countered calmly. "Next, we need to go over a few rules. The primary principle here is simply: respect. You will learn respect for authority (myself, and the other staff members), respect for your peers (the other patients), and perhaps most importantly, respect for yourself. Disrespect will not be tolerated and will be... addressed severely. Part of respect for authority means obedience. We expect you to comply with all instructions, without hesitation or poor attitude. That's pretty much it. We can go over more specifics as they arise, but if you follow the principle of respect you will do well and your time here will be much easier."

Jane remained silent, but rolled her eyes.

Mary continued, "You will follow me."

Not seeing any other option, Jane peered out of the doorway, and saw an empty hallway. She followed Mary out of the room, doing her best to cover herself. I'm going to fucking sue this place when I get out, thought Jane to herself. She felt like she was in one of those prison movies, made to walk naked to her cell. She hoped her room wouldn't be very far away and that they wouldn't encounter anyone on the way there.

Unfortunately, Jane's hopes were unfounded. They didn't get very far down the hallway, until a door sat open. It appeared to be some kind of office. As they approached the room, a woman looking to be in her upper twenties ducked out. She was wearing the same sort of outfit as Mary, white lab coat and black pants. "Hello Mary. Processing another new one, eh?"

Mary just gave a nod. "Hello, Emily."

"Hello dear, looks like orientation is going well? Nice uniform you picked out," Emily jibed with a chuckle.

"Fuck off!" responded Jane, furious about being made fun of on top of the rest of this situation.

Mary looked back at her, silently but with a disapproving glance. They passed by the doorway, and the lady called out behind, "Oh dear. With talk like that, pretty sure you'll have some red elsewhere soon to match your face!"

Jane felt mortified as well as angry. What was that red talk about? she wondered.

Mary seemed to walk painfully slowly as they headed down the hallway. Jane was on edge, afraid of coming across other people. She wished Mary would just hurry. There were quite a few other doors off of the hallway, but thankfully they were all closed. They got to the end of the hallway and went through a door at the end. It led to a stairwell. The stairwell was chilly and the concrete stairs were cold on her feet. Jane let out a small shiver as they slowly made their way upwards. Once again she wished Mary would move faster. They headed up a couple of flights.

They exited the stairwell onto the third floor. The hallway they walked into looked much the same as the previous one. This one, though, looked to be a dormitory. Many of the doors they walked past were opened, and curious faces looked out as they walked by. Jane guessed that these were patients rather than staff. She noticed that none of them came out and jeered at her, like the staff member had. She felt grateful for that, at least.

Finally they stopped in front of a room. "This will be your room, Miss Warren." Jane stepped in and looked around. It looked sparse, but clean. There was a small coat closet on one side, a bed in one corner with a bedside table, a simple desk with a wooden chair in the other back corner, and a dresser. It was this last piece of furniture that Mary gestured at, "In the dresser you will find your uniform. You may put it on now."

Jane hastily opened the dresser drawers. She saw what looked like just two sets of clothing, both identical. She pulled out a blue button down shirt, blue skirt, white "granny panties", and a simple bra. They all appeared to be her size, though the panties seemed a bit tight. She noticed the skirt was rather short and she felt something small and hard in the back of it along the bottom, and something similar in the back of the shirt. What in the world is that? she wondered, as she put the clothing on.