A Reason to Come Home

A Reason to Come Home

It had been almost 5 years since I was back in my hometown in New Jersey. I had enlisted in the Army and was stationed in Pensacola, Florida where I remained after my tour of duty was over.

I learned to love Florida and enjoyed the beaches and of course the endless sunshine, giving me all the more reason to never move back to my home state. My sister was jealous that I detached myself from our abusive father, never wanting to live back under his roof.

I was born in New Jersey and most of my family still lives there. My Mom had died suddenly in a car crash when I was nineteen, and I needed a drastic change in my life, so I thought I would enlist to escape my grief. I had just turned 19 the year of my Mom's death.

Of course, it didn't work, joining the army to escape my sorrows. I was suddenly alone, in a far away country still trying to make heads or tails about the tragic twist of fate life had dealt me.

My younger sister stayed with my Dad in the house in New Jersey and used it as an excuse for not moving on with her life. She did marry, and had a son, but the marriage was a disaster after only a couple years. Her excuse for not finding someone was that she needed to take care of our father, and of course my nephew. I know she always felt that I failed as the oldest daughter as I wanted no part of taking care of my now ailing father.

It was too hard for me. I remember all the times he would drink till he passed out, and if he didn't, he would take it out on my Mom, who always took his abuse and forgave him. Even if he would physically hurt her, she still always gave every excuse as to why he acted the way he did.

Many times I confronted her and tried to tell her he was an alcoholic, but she never saw it that way. 'He goes to work every day and never goes to a bar", she would say. True, but he drank at least two six packs until he couldn't stand up every night. I guess you could say he was a 'functioning alcoholic.' Either way, I knew once I was not in his company, my life was much better for it.

I knew my lifestyle choice would not go over well with my father, as he was a strict, Catholic, Italian guy who wouldn't understand why I preferred females and why I didn't have any desire to find 'a nice man to settle down with'.

A few years ago I went home when my nephew had come down with a mysterious virus and was hospitalized. Most of the time I spent at the hospital with my sister trying to give her as much emotional support that I could.

I tried to ignore my Father's feeble attempt to act like he missed me and wanted me to move back home when I saw him. I hid behind my position in the military and told him there was a good paying job in Florida that I couldn't refuse to take. I never did tell him the truth that it was because of him that I didn't want to live in Cedarville.

Many nights I cried myself to sleep, missing my Mom and wishing it were him who died in the crash. Remarkably, he only had a few scratches and a bump on the forehead. My mother wasn't as lucky. She was thrown from the car and died instantly when she catapulted into the trunk of a massive tree.

Yes, I know accidents happen, but for some reason I couldn't help but blame my father for it. The officer knew my Dad, so he never did a Breathalyzer test on him. I would bet my life on it that he had been drinking. He told the police that a deer ran out from the woods and across his path, causing him to swerve and loose control of the car.

I know in my heart he was to blame and there probably wasn't a deer that he blamed for swerving off the road. We will never know. His drinking got so much worse after her death, and I believe it was because he knew he caused the accident and it was now something he had to live with.

So, I arrived in my hometown that Saturday afternoon and rented a car at the airport so I could make the 1/2 hour trip to Cedarville, New Jersey. When I drove down the street where I grew up, I noticed the homes looked different. Older and more weathered with more children running around in the front yards.

The houses seemed smaller than I remembered, and the local school had an additional structure added to the original building to accommodate the rise in student population. The town had grown considerably in the last ten years and it was esthetically obvious.

My 10 year old nephew Thomas was shooting hoops in the driveway and my father's old pick up was in the same spot looking just as dirty and old as it always did. Kind of reminded me of him. He hardly ever had a clean shave, smoked smelly cigars and wore the same flannel shirt over and over again. Now that he was much older, it only got worse.

"Aunt Barb!" Tommy yelled as I pulled up and parked behind the pick up.

"Hey Scooter! You've gotten so tall!", I told him as he ran up and hugged me when I got out of the car.

"I know! Now I can reach the basket better. Do you have something for me in your suitcase!', he asked peering into the back of the car.

"What do you think? Of course! Where's your Mom?"

"She's inside fixing Grandpa his lunch."

"I'll come out and shoot a quick game with you in a bit."

"Great!" he said as he snatched the gift bag from me and ran into the yard.

I was always very athletic and my stint in the service helped me keep my athletic figure as I worked out just about every day. My sister's son was also my Godchild and I hadn't seen him in about 5 years. We face time a lot as I didn't want him to forget me. I only wished his Grandfather would.

"So, look what the cat dragged in!", my younger sister, Sue said as she came over to greet me with a little peck on the cheek.

"I'm sure your cat has brought in nastier things than me."

"No, not lately anyway! How long you staying this time?"

"Not very. I'm only in town for my 10 year High School reunion. I'm staying at the Biltmore."

"Wow, has it been that long already? Why can't you stay here? You can have my room and I can sleep on the couch."

"No, that's ok. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to."

Hearing my voice from the dining room, I heard my Dad shout,

"Is that you Bobbie (my nickname)? You're finally home! Come in here so I can get a good look at you!"

Reluctantly, I creeped into the dining room and saw a broken down frail man hunched over in his chair, eating soup. Most of it had dribbled down the front of his shirt.

My mind went back in time and I wondered where that big strapping guy who pushed my Mom around had gone. He looked old and weak. Nothing like the man I remembered.

"No, I can't Dad. I have meetings scheduled back in Florida."

"Well, it's high time you moved back home, don't you think?"

"I'm only here for a couple of days Dad. I have to get back."

What I really wanted to say was:

I will NEVER come home to live here in New Jersey ever again. I can't stand being around you, as I know you were to blame for Mom's death!

So, I said it silently in my head. But there was no way that I couldn't at least, think it.

"When is the reunion?" my sister asked.

"Saturday night. I will be flying out on Sunday back to Florida".

"I don't know why you want to go to that stupid reunion anyway. Those girls you were always paling around with are a real nasty bunch."

"Why would you say that? I haven't seen them in years. I've been corresponding with Arlene and she is so excited that I am coming to the reunion. I can't wait to hang out with her again. She is meeting me in a few hours."

"Who was she? The Captain of the squad?"

"Yes. And it wasn't stupid. It was great. We went to all the football games and parades and had some really great times together. I'm looking forward to spending time with her again."

"I think that girl liked you just a little too much if you ask me."

"What? No she didn't. We were just friends. I heard she got married a couple years ago."

"Yeah, but I heard she's divorced already and no kids. I think she plays on the other team if you know what I'm getting at. "

"Interesting. Well, I'm sure she will tell me all about it when I meet up with her. As a matter of fact, I need to check in as she is meeting me at the hotel in about an hour."

I stayed only a brief while and headed for the hotel. I settled in and went down to the bar to wait for Arlene to show up. I ordered a drink and watched as the bartender poured the vodka into my glass when he looked directly at me and said,

"Hey aren't you Barbara? Class of 69?"

"Yes. I am. Do I know you?"

"You don't remember me? I'm Alex. I was on the football team. You were on the Color Guard, no?"

"Yes, yes I was. I'm flattered that you remember me from so long ago."

"Your other pals come in once and awhile. You know that girl Arlene and Kathy".

"Yes, I'm waiting for Arlene. She's meeting me here shortly. Are you going to the reunion tomorrow night?"

"Yes, my wife and I will be there. I married Laurie Smith. Do you remember her? She was a cheer leader"

"Yes, I do. You guys were going out then too, yes?"

" We married right after college. I'm an assistant football coach at the high school during the day. I do this for extra cash at night. Let me know if you need anything," he said as he headed to the other end of the bar

With that, I sipped my drink slowly waiting for my high school pal to show up. After a few minutes I felt someone come up behind me who covered my eyes, saying;

"Bet you can't guess whose here!" It was just like her, always clowning around and making jokes.

I swung around and saw Arlie who appeared older and much more beautiful than I remembered. She had the biggest smile that made her green eyes sparkle.

I swung around, stood up and grabbed her giving her the biggest bear hug.

She was just so bubbly I couldn't resist.

"Of course I know who you are! It hasn't been that long! You look great!" I said looking her up and down while removing her hands from my eyes.

"It's so great to see you!" She shouted as she pulled out a barstool and sat down.

I noticed she had filled out a lot. She didn't look like that skinny, naïve high- schooler I remembered. Her breasts were full and looked magnificent. Her lips were also full and looked like they were just begging to be kissed. Her hair was long and flowing onto her shoulders. I was taken back just by the beauty of her.

We talked for awhile and she told me that her marriage was a complete farce as she thought she was in love with her ex, but it turns out she wasn't physically attracted to him once they became intimate. She thought it would get better as time went on, but she knew it wasn't going to work, finally admitting to herself that she loved women. She said she always did, but suppressed those feelings, as they were definitely taboo when we were growing up.

Telling me it was females that she was attracted to, and when she met someone, shortly after they were married, she had an affair. She quickly and amicably divorced her husband but said they remained friends.

I realized the rumors that my sister had heard were absolutely true. I was so happy to hear she preferred women. That meant I had a chance of possibly dating her.

The evening went great as the hours zoomed by while we enjoyed our dinner and eachother's company. I asked her if she was seeing anyone and she told me no one special. Again, I had a glimmer of hope as I told her I was staying at that hotel but only for the next few nights. She reached across the table and grabbed my hand saying,

"I would love to spend some time with you Bobbie, I mean if you want to..."

I was elated thinking she wanted to be with me just as much as I desired her. Unless it was the alcohol talking. It didn't matter. I wanted her no matter what the reason.

After dinner and a few more drinks, I suggested she come to my room and we could raid the mini bar and watch a movie or something. Of course I was hoping she would opt for the 'something' rather than the movie. She was more than eager when I suggested we go to my room.

Immediately as we stood there waiting for the elevator to descend, I felt that familiar sensation in the pit of my stomach and that pulsating desire between my legs to get closer to my old friend. It brought back memories of when we would pal around with eachother after school and on weekends. I guess I felt it for her way back then and still had feelings whenever I was in her company.

It didn't matter that we hadn't seen eachother in years. It was like we were never apart, picking up where we left off. There was always closeness between us.

Once we got into the elevator, I couldn't help myself, so I made the first move. I leaned into her and brushed the hair from her face, placing my lips on hers. She tasted divine as our tongues danced with delight. Looking into her eyes, I could tell she was smiling behind that kiss.

I felt her hand reach up and grab my breast through my shirt. I wanted to feel her hands on my flesh and knew I couldn't wait to get naked with her. The elevator door opened and we stepped out into the hallway. I fumbled in my pocket to retrieve the room key as quickly as I could. I didn't want the moment to end. I wanted more of her, much more and I wanted it now.

When we entered the room, Arlie dropped her purse onto the bed and threw her arms around me. We started to kiss eachother passionately. I couldn't believe I was actually making out with her. So many nights during high school I would lay in bed and wish that we were intimate. My brain was trying to comprehend that I was finally getting physical with her.

I never thought she would want to be with a woman. Unlike me, she was always so popular and had a lot of guys wanting to take her out.

In no time at all, we grabbed at eachother's clothing, shedding everything we had on. Then falling onto the comforter with our arms still holding eachother tightly. She began to giggle as our enthusiasm for eachother escalated.

"What's so funny?" I asked her.

She pushed me away and said, "I always knew you were gay."

"Shhh! Don't tell anyone." I joked.

"When I enlisted, I had to keep my desires to myself. There were lots of women. Beautiful women. It was really hard not to get close with anyone. We were stationed in Afghanistan and there was this Sargent that I knew had the hots for me. Her name was Diane. Of course the military has the 'Don't ask, don't tell', policy so it was never verbalized between us. One very late night while I was in the showers she came up behind me and took me right there under the cascading water. No one was around and I don't think anyone every knew about us."

"So, what ever happened with you guys? Did you continue to see eachother?"

"No, not really. A couple times when we were given some time off, I would meet her in an abandoned shack and we would continue to have sex. Then one day I heard she was transferred to another base. She left without even a goodbye. I don't know if it was because someone found out about us, or just a coincidence."

"Oh, Bobbie, I'm so sorry. That must have been hard for you."

"No, not really. It was just a physical thing with her. I didn't have any emotional attachment. She was in her late forties, almost twice my age. It wasn't something we could have pursued after our tour. I think she had a husband and kid stateside."

"Well, I'm sorry that happened."

"I'm not. It was a good experience. She taught me some things I would never dream of doing to anyone. I was a willing participant, so it seemed to help pass the days we were stuck in that hellhole. Enough about me, I always wished we would be like this when we were teenagers. I can't believe you are in my arms and we are finally doing this!"

"We certainly are!" she said as she kissed me wildly making her way down to my breasts, licking my nipples till they were hard. I began moaning as I grabbed her hair and led her further down till she nibbled at my groin in a teasing way.

I opened my legs hinting that she continue to make her way to just the right spot.

She ran her fingertips ever so lightly over my clit sending sensations down to my tippy-toes. I started grinding against her fingers until she slipped one, then two inside me, intensifying the heat of the moment.

"Yes, yes! There, don't stop! Please, harder! I'm on the edge..." I yelled.

It only took a few minutes for me to explode in ecstasy. Panting and basking in the afterglow, I pulled her up on top of me till her beautiful breasts were over my face. She let me lick, squeeze and bite them for quite some time. I've always been attracted to the female breasts. I just about had another orgasm while playing with hers.

Turning her over onto the pillows I caressed every inch of her body focusing my attention between her legs. She moaned louder and louder as I continued to please her.

"Oh my God, you feel wonderful! Don't stop! " I heard her say.

I didn't stop until she had the biggest orgasm and then telling me she always knew we would have mind blowing sex if we ever got together.

It was late and I convinced her to stay with me till Saturday morning. We were so comfortable lying in that huge bed with our arms intertwined.

She agreed and told me she didn't want that night with me to end. I felt the same way.

I met up with her Saturday evening at the reunion. We walked in together and I know people were wondering if we were a couple. The rumors that Arlene was gay and those who kind of knew I was, kept everyone guessing.

We had a great time seeing a lot of our old classmates and reminiscing about some of the memorable events of our high school years.

That night, after the reunion, Arlie suggested I come back to her apartment not far from the high school. Of course I accepted her invitation and couldn't wait to be alone with her again.

I jumped in her car and off we went. During the short ride to her place, Arlie's phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered with a question in her voice.

"Yes. I'm on my way home"

"No, not a good time. I'm actually with an old friend. Can I call you tomorrow?" she said mysteriously.

She clicked the button to end the call and there was a sudden silence.

"Anyone important?" I asked.

"Not really. She's the one I told you I've been seeing on and off. No one special."

"I hope I'm not interfering in your relationship"

"Oh, no, of course not. We aren't in a relationship. Besides, I'm over the moon now that you and I got together," she said.

"Well, you know I'm leaving for home tomorrow night." I told her.

"Yes. I know, but maybe you will consider moving back to Cedarville. Your family is still here and now I'm here."

I didn't know what to say. We were together one night and she was asking me to change my life and move back to my hometown.

"Let's take it one day at a time." I said.

"Fair enough".

Again, that night we couldn't wait to be with one another. While we were enjoying eachother in her bed, my cell phone rang.

"What? When?" I asked. It was my sister, Sue.

"Ok. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"What's wrong?" Arlie asked.

"It's my Dad. He collapsed at the house and they took him to Dover General. I have to go".

"Can I come with you?"

"Of course."

When we arrived at the hospital, my sister and my nephew were in the waiting area.

"So, what did the doctor's say?" I asked her.

She looked over at Arlene and said "Hi Arlene. Nice to see you again."

I knew the look she had was disapproving that I brought Arlene with me.

"They said he had a massive heart attack. Considering his age and his poor health, they don't think he will gain consciousness."

"Maybe he will Sue, you never know about these things." I tried to reassure her.

I have to admit, I wasn't feeling any emotion over the possibility that my father might pass. It was amazing to me to see my sister so upset. We grew up in the same household, but our feelings for my father were at opposite ends of the spectrum.