All Comments on 'A Reward For Ignorance'
by TheBigLove126
- 20 Comments
epiphany65over 14 years agoI enjoyed this. It was a little too short and needed more build-up and tenion, but for a first story it was well written and drew me in. Also, work on punctuation, especially with dialogue. But, keep writing!
Anonymousover 14 years agoI loved reading this first part, I hope you will continue it soon. If possible could you make the remaining chapters a bit longer.
Anonymousover 14 years agoNot bad, but you really need to work on punctuation (comma's, etc) and grammar.<p>For instance, one line went <i>It's been a week since Trevor said we'd spend time together, but I've barley seen him</i>. The mistake here is <i>barely</i>. <i>Barley</i> is a plant.<p>Another i saw was <i>I put the disc in and sat down next to her, and through my left arm around her shoulder</i>. That should be <i>threw</i>, not <i>through</i>.<p>I hate to nit-pick because this was a decent story. Not great, but ok.<p>Work on your grammar mostly. Misspellings i can tolerate because shit happens and proof reading is tough.<p>Some people say that others make too big of a deal out of issues like i pointed out. Well, this is a site for stories and i expect writers to do their work.
Anonymousover 14 years agouse an editor please you used a lot of wrong words HE instead of SHE etc. it makes it hard to read so never post a story with going through a good editor
Anonymousover 14 years ago...1 thing you ain't is an English major in college! I know exactly where I made my errors in grammar BUT you may not!
marklionover 14 years agoThat was the great first chapter in this series. I wish people would read this type of story for enjoyment and not for being an English major. Yes you need an editor but the story was not that hard to read even with the few mistakes. Keep up the good work and don't worry about these English majors.
Ducky7over 14 years agocan't wait to see what happens with the rest of the evening and summer. Keep going.
Anonymousover 14 years agoWonderful story start. I can't wait to read the rest of this story, please post the next chapter soon.
TheBigLove126over 14 years agoAuthorFirst, sorry for the grammar problems, I always forget to check (probably why I barley passed English in HS). Second off, the next story will be a little bit away (Only got 2 days off the next 2 weeks) Part 2 will be easier to read and, will hopefully blow this one out of the water. Remember this was my first ever post here, can't be perfect.
JohnSpiritWolfalmost 14 years agoYes, some of the english idiot majors were running you down a bit, but you know what? We're all human... I think you did one hell of a job for a first story... Hell, I'm 50 years old and I doubt if I could have done any better... I would most definitely like to see you finish this story, maybe even 2 or 3 more chapters to it... I like the way you've started it out, especially because the brother didn't realize his sisters interest in him... Makes it read "real" to me... I gave you a 5 for it just because I liked it so much, and I don't do that very often...
agamottoabout 11 years agoI wouldn't have noticed that there where errors in the story if some anally retentive grammar freaks (and I don't mean the people who offered friendly constructive criticism) hadn't pointed it out first. I enjoyed it so much, I didn't see them. PLEASE continue the story!
beachbum1958about 11 years agoThere's a good story here, it just seemed a little rushed in places, not enough build-up. Having said that, I enjoyed what was here, and I'd like to see some more, just take your time next time, people like to enjoy the burn as well as the explosion! One other thing, I have to agree with a lot of the commentators here; next time out, get someone to proof-read it for you, the spelling and punctuation sometimes made for a slightly confusing read. Not at all bad for a first effort, onwards and upwards!
Anonymousover 9 years agoMan I loved this story. As a romantic at heart you have the makings of a epic love story between Kristy and Trevor. I hope you'll continue this story and if you do please keep them exclusive to each other, bringing others in always ruins the story. I enjoyed your story and thank you for writing it.
clearedtofuckover 7 years agoIt was very good as long as you tell the remainder of the story.
Anonymousover 7 years agoReally liked this story....but you need to finish
this properly....great start...thank you
TheBigLove126over 7 years agoAuthorI have submitted a "remastering" of this story. I fixed all the errors, added some detail and added a better ending. This old version will remain as is as an example of what happens when you don't edit a story
TheBigLove126@TheBigLove126
