Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
To Be Continued...
- COMMENTS
TheBigLove126over 7 years agoAuthorI have submitted a "remastering" of this story. I fixed all the errors, added some detail and added a better ending. This old version will remain as is as an example of what happens when you don't edit a story
Anonymousover 7 years agoReally liked this story....but you need to finish
this properly....great start...thank you
clearedtofuckover 7 years agoIt was very good as long as you tell the remainder of the story.
Anonymousover 9 years agoMan I loved this story. As a romantic at heart you have the makings of a epic love story between Kristy and Trevor. I hope you'll continue this story and if you do please keep them exclusive to each other, bringing others in always ruins the story. I enjoyed your story and thank you for writing it.
beachbum1958about 11 years agoThere's a good story here, it just seemed a little rushed in places, not enough build-up. Having said that, I enjoyed what was here, and I'd like to see some more, just take your time next time, people like to enjoy the burn as well as the explosion! One other thing, I have to agree with a lot of the commentators here; next time out, get someone to proof-read it for you, the spelling and punctuation sometimes made for a slightly confusing read. Not at all bad for a first effort, onwards and upwards!
agamottoabout 11 years agoI wouldn't have noticed that there where errors in the story if some anally retentive grammar freaks (and I don't mean the people who offered friendly constructive criticism) hadn't pointed it out first. I enjoyed it so much, I didn't see them. PLEASE continue the story!
JohnSpiritWolfalmost 14 years agoYes, some of the english idiot majors were running you down a bit, but you know what? We're all human... I think you did one hell of a job for a first story... Hell, I'm 50 years old and I doubt if I could have done any better... I would most definitely like to see you finish this story, maybe even 2 or 3 more chapters to it... I like the way you've started it out, especially because the brother didn't realize his sisters interest in him... Makes it read "real" to me... I gave you a 5 for it just because I liked it so much, and I don't do that very often...
