All Comments on 'A Royal Necessity Ch. 01'

First sentence of the story was run on and so I didn't feel like trying to muscle past the first paragraph but I'd like to add that victims hang FROM ropes not ON them but I guess I won't find out if the plot truly was poorly contrived and I just needed to add one more clause to this run on sentence of my own with yet another conjunction.

Worst entry ever! Shame on the Literotica Editors for even posting this garbage!

Rancid rubbish from a fucking dimwit. Find another hobby, basket-weaving, or perhaps just twiddling your thumbs, just FFS don't write.

Consider this submission to be your moment of glory and now it's time to ride off into the sunset. Unless you can manage to elevate your writing skills immensely, the mere thought of Chapter 2 is painful for me to consider. The wicked Prince idea has merit, I'll grant you that. However, your current skills will never do it justice. *

The story could certainly be improved by editing, but the meaning comes through. Here's one thing you could try. Go to Google Translate. Paste in your story, or part of it, and click on the speaker icon at the bottom of the box. The program will read the text to you out loud. Maybe you'll be able to hear how the running on of sentences makes them hard to understand. Also, you'll be able to hear inconsistent jumping around between tenses. Don't give up writing, just work harder on the technical aspects. Good luck.

Know its fantasy but still needs to make sense

the council say Can't kill her, So instead marries her and no-one has problem with brother marring his sister

And they all died.

End.

non con

and please, in spite of this being labeled ch 01, do not continue this with a ch 02 !!!

You could improve by proof reading, however though I enjoyed it. So I hope you could post Ch.02.

Try reading your story before you submit it. That way it doesn't read like a third grader wrote it.

Even the first sentence had a typo. If you can't bother to proofread even your first sentence, you should find another hobby.

This is the best story I've ever read on this site.

I have a question for the person who said: "This is the best story I ever read on this site"... Can you actually read???

The rest of this comment is for the author now;

I actually liked the premise of the story, as an idea. HOWEVER, when you as an author switch between tense and point of view (not to mention all the other gramatical errors) more times than I can actually count, I am left with no alternative but to give your story only ONE Star...

In this case you should be very happy that Literotica does not have a ZERO Star rating, because for the first time in my nearly 10 years as a reader & writer on this site, I'd be incredibly tempted to give you a ZERO...

Don't quit writing, just get an editor/proof-reader who actually is familiar with the rules of grammer (BEFORE you even consider submitting another story ANYWHERE).

That is all.

Not a bad story really. If anyone intends on making a critical remark on a story at least have the guts to leave a name so that the author can either agree & thank you or politely disagree with and say way. By signing in anonymous you make yourself look like a sniveling coward. Anyone who makes a comment should have to sign in and I always encourage the writers to make sure all has too, it is they're right. I've always thought that nitpicking grammar errors on a porn site story is the ultimate stupidity.When your reading and intend to masterbate as well (we all are doing it) why the fuck would you give a shit about grammar errors. If you're that damn picky go to "Barnes & Nobles" and get a book, coward.

and you didn't get into a ton of detail,still overall i've seen far worse and as you write more your style will evolve,keep on trucking

Learn the rules of grammar, and proofread, FFS; as this stands, it comes across as lazy, illiterate, careless, and written like the author never ever read anything in his/her/its life before. Complete garbage from start to finish.

Wtf.

Sic

interesting and true in many kingdoms.

I see several readers criticizing the grammar and mechanics. But I want to say that it definitely turned me on, notwithstanding the spellchecker errors. The randy, ambitious brother using his sister to get what he wants makes me wish this was my sister and me. It only makes me sad that, after eight years, we're unlikely to get a chapter 2.