All Comments on 'A Saturday of Cheerleader Pleasure Ch. 04'

The cheerleader fantasy is one that most males and some females can identify with quite easily and with good reason. Cheerleaders are selected for their attractiveness and healthy bodies. If only they were all as sexually liberated as the ones in your story, life would be a whole lot better.

This series is entertaining but overdone and repetitive. It's just a kid in a candy shop dream that loses touch with reality. I didn't get to know or like the characters because they were portrayed as mere sex toys. Sometimes the sex gets in the way of the story; in this case, it virtually obliterated it.

Mountaincat4:

While I disagree with you in some areas, I respect your opinion and your constructive criticism in regards to this story and the "Saturday of Cheerleader Pleasure" series as a whole.

I agree completely with your first paragraph. Well said. That's why so many of my erotic stories involve cheerleaders. In addition to being a sexual fantasy for me, their appeal in erotica/pornography makes them a great subject to write about.

In regards to your criticisms:

Is this series repetitive? Yes, there are moments where it's repetitive, but I think I'm blending enough familiar elements with new elements to maintain its appeal and arousal factor.

I was originally going to stop at 3 chapters, but the series was popular enough that I decided to "up the ante" and add more chapters.

Chapter 1 was a "first time." Chapter 2 was a "exhibitionism" tale. Chapter 3 revolved around a "threesome." And this Chapter is about "group sex." I've gone in new directions with past series and it hasn't worked out. This series has not had as many new directions as previous ones but the ideas have been bigger and bolder and gradually involved more people.

Like you, I appreciate good stories with depth and strong characterization. However, those stories typically require more length and time than the ones posted here.

Unfortunately, due to time constraints and my present work schedule, my erotic stories end up being limited to ten to twenty pages (for this chapter, I pushed it to twenty pages), which means there isn't a lot of room for character development or background information.

Each chapter in this particular series is intended to enhance the sexual situations in the stories, the ways pleasure is obtained, and ultimately, the arousal in the readers. I do what I can to make the characters appealing and likable while trying to make their dialogue, body descriptions, and sexual actions arousing for readers. However, the sex is the main focus of the stories, and achieving orgasm is the main goal, for most of the characters and the readers.

By adding a lot more characters to this series in Chapter 4, I'm hoping to expand upon the series and utilize those characters, and hopefully, I can do that.

At the present time, I plan to continue this series (though that could change) so I will see if I can extend it and add some more depth to the characters that have been established within this series.

Your criticisms are valid and appreciated, and I hope I can improve upon the quality of my writing and on my ability to entertain and arouse readers.

Thanks for your feedback, and I welcome any other feedback or constructive criticism you may provide in the future for other stories if you choose to do so.

Good job, well written

I would love to experience this

Contact me at phoenix23ninja@gmail.com

Thank you for the feedback, phoenix23ninja.

I appreciate it.

In this chapter especially, things just got to be repetitive. With the exception of different names and the one girl's double-G tits, there was little to distinguish one girl from the next. You might as well have called them Cheerleader #1, Cheerleader #2, etc.. When I got done reading this chapter, the only cheerleaders I remember are Becca and Emma from them being in the other chapters, where there was a lot more attention paid to their details.

His sexual repertoire was established in Chapter 1 and since then, it's basically the same sex scene over and over again, with a few added players along the way. A prime opportunity was missed in having all of these horny cheerleaders together and only a couple of them lezzed out and briefly at that. And I don't understand what's sexy about wiping up cum with clothing and then attempting to eat it. If they're going to pass it around, why didn't you just have him cum in a cup or something that's not going to soak it up? It would have been even better if, after he came on Becca's chest, the girls would have gathered around and licked it directly off of her tits. Or had him cum in her pussy, then the others had taken turns eating her cream pie. Another great opportunity missed.

The only thing to recommend the continuation of a story is if it keeps evolving and introducing something new, pushing the boundaries a bit further. Yeah, you went from voyeurism and couple sex, to a threesome, then to group sex, but the sex part has pretty much stagnated. No matter how many partners are participating...he eats her, she sucks him, pussy fuck, ass spank, titty fuck, cum on her tits or face, and everyone tastes delicious and has mind-bending orgasms along the way. Maybe I've become jaded in my old age, but the sex here is fairly vanilla and boring for a naughty cheerleader(s) story.

At this point, I find myself with little motivation to continue reading Chapters 5, 6 or 7.

Dark_Storm,

You do make some valid points and detailed arguments.

Perhaps I need to make my erotic stories longer so that I can establish and give more resonance to characters, add more new ideas, and have more variety in each story, particularly when sex does occur.

It will take a lot of time to extend my stories past the 15-20 page mark (most of my recent stories are at that mark now), but if it means the quality of work will be greater, then I guess I will have to adjust to what readers are truly interested in.

I did attempt to one up the sex scenarios with each chapter in this series, but I see what you're saying regarding the "vanilla sex" and the "routine" matter in which those

scenes occur.

It's tough to find a difficult balance when it comes to sticking with what works and trying to explore new ground.

It's definitely something I'll have to think about when I publish my next story, whether it be an independent story or a potential Chapter 8 for this series.

Once again, I just wanted to say thank you for the constructive feedback and criticism.

I will definitely take all this into consideration when I start a new short story, and especially, when I begin work on larger and more detailed projects.

You're more than welcome to read the rest of the stories in this series if you like

and any other stories that I have written and posted on this site.

Thanks again.

Good but the girls should have performed girl on girl with each other as well, all getting drunk on each other's cunt juice and his spunk. Cunt lapping sex maniac uk.

Yeah, I considered going further and having more girl on girl action in this chapter, but work, time constraints, and other writing projects limited me to 20 pages for this erotic story.

Therefore, I focused on the desires and the sexual arousal of the narrator for the most part.

Perhaps at some point, if I decide to return to this series (it has 7 chapters right now), I may bring the characters in this chapter back and give them more to do in future chapters.

Nevertheless, thank you for the praise and feedback. I do appreciate it.