All Comments on 'A Second Chance'

by Laphroaig53

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  • 39 Comments
Baldy74Baldy74about 2 months ago

Was OK. I liked the story and events that took place. Just needed more room to breath.

Wasn't much of a romance though, well not between him and mia. You spent nearly one and a half pages on his wife and his job. Introduced Mia (no idea what she looks like) and then told they're relationship in a few paragraphs. The only dialogue that Mia has in the whole story to him is "yes". Apart from her fierce devotion to the baby we don't really get to know her at all.

Diecast1Diecast1about 2 months ago

Great story AAAAA+++++

Lector77Lector77about 2 months ago

Well written, but lacking in dramatic tension. Mia is devoted to the child and to the protagonist. Beyond that, we don’t know her at all.

GreyMatter46GreyMatter46about 2 months ago

Fantastic story. Even a "Happily Ever After". thanks

uk_writer_53uk_writer_53about 2 months ago

You rushed it. It was a nice tale but spread over three or parts you could have done a lot more and created some background for the characters. As it was it was just a I did this then that then this happened and everyone lived happily ever after....

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcabout 2 months ago

Great story and expertly written. The portrayal of the loss of Amy brough tears to my eyes. That he couldn't "see" Mia all that time is a bit of a stretch, but still worked. 4.8*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

The author has the heart of a Romantic and a great gift telling stories.

He is worth a bookmark!

The Hoary Cleric

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Great read. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Reads like a list of plot points with a complete lack of character depth or development. You can do better

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Touching but formulaic. Nit much insight into the Mia character. Still a sweet departure from the cuck bullshit currently populating this site.

BlueFox007BlueFox007about 2 months ago

Lovely story. I’ll share this with my wife of 62 years.

5*****

LitCritLitCritabout 2 months ago

A solid four - too much of typical Literotica formula - MC loses the love of his/her life, grieves, mourns, after time passes, he/she spots the character we've known was going to develop as new love all along, presto-changeo - happy ever after. As has been mentioned, we have little idea who Mia is, even less information about his daughter - these are currently the two most important people in his life? And the conflicts with his family over taking the CEO spot are dismissed with a simple "no?" Life don't work like that, and a story that does loses drama and interest.

LT56linebackerLT56linebackerabout 2 months ago

So what, anons? It was a beautiful story. 6 stars, the Bear needed a happy ending with balls behind it. Good telling style, too. I liked it. 'Nuff said.

The BEAR

afosi2604afosi2604about 2 months ago

Good story, enjoyable read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Wonderful yarn! Could have done without the protagonist being a one percenter, but aside from that really well crafted story and could have been longer. Looking forward to reading more!

muskyboymuskyboyabout 2 months ago

More of a tragedy than a romance story. Never felt any romance develop with Mia. The "life at the ranch" portion of the story was especially rushed. A long ways from your best effort.

inka2222inka2222about 2 months ago

5 stars. Totally unexpected - I typically strongly dislike that kind of high social status protagonists, but the author made sure MC was quite likeable and down to earth. Yes, it was a little bit formulaic but who cares if the story is **enjoyable**? I surely don't. Thank you

@LitCrit - stick to literally criticism. His family know how to run a business. And that includes knowing the OBVIOUS truth that you can't have someone in charge who doesn't want to be. This isn't a draftee soldier. This is a future CEO. He needs to be ALL IN, enthusiastically. So yes, the conflicts with his family would be over once they realize he is firmly against the idea and can't be pressured easily.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Surprisingly devoid of emotion. The author has become one of my favorites, but this story read like a Cliff’s Notes version of a sweeping novel. Of course, I think it could be a great novel, but only with a great deal of expansion and an infusion of emotion.

burningloveburningloveabout 2 months ago

Very well written! A solid flow!! I plan to read your other stories. So what if there was little overt romance - he found love!!!

***** stars!!

Burninglove

WantingToWriteGoodWantingToWriteGoodabout 2 months ago

A very enjoyable story. Well written and tight. Which is what one would expect from a person who was groomed to be a CEO with a dysfunctional family.

RzcanuckRzcanuckabout 2 months ago

I loved the author's first story "Rebirth". This one is my least favorite of his. Having a privileged person as the main character is not my cup of tea.

xMulexMuleabout 2 months ago

5*

I agree with some of the comments that say this is incomplete, lacks emotion, and character development, but it's a nice feel good story and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

OvercriticalOvercriticalabout 2 months ago

I found the story to be rather cut and dry and only the plot itself saved it from being a mediocre offering. In a way, the original MCs were cut and dry also. Amy and Tommy were really dull people and lived by a code that most of us do not understand. So maybe the style fit the MCs. Worth a 4*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

good story

could have skipped the first page of MC history, knowing of his elite status and that of his late wife had nothing to do with the romance.

hindsight2020hindsight2020about 2 months ago

A tad predictable and lacked tension.

Little to nothing at risk during most of the story.

⭐⭐⭐

chick2206chick2206about 2 months ago

nice and simple sadness and happiness in the same story very elegantly written

AngelRiderAngelRiderabout 2 months ago

People who insert politics into their stories, no matter how slight, run the risk of encountering people like me who will dismiss everything you write out of hand.

Federalists and originalists. Pass.

vanyevanyeabout 2 months ago

If Mom was an only child, where did Uncle Billy come from?

Couldn't get into chapter 2 because that bothered me too much.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Good story.

@vanye: Uncle Billy is the grandfather's brother.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

You lost me at "originalist justice" and Federalist Society.

Flar1958Flar1958about 1 month ago

A little long in the beginning but otherwise a solid romance story

Your skills near RONDE

CaedynCaedyn28 days ago

Another excellent story by a talented writer.

Regarding the other commentators who are offended by the mere mention of a political view that is different than their preferences, I respectfully suggest that it may be worthwhile to make a serious effort to learn why at least half of the country have preferences different than yours. In debate class, I was forced to argue the position that I didn’t agree with at the beginning; it was enlightening to learn about the arguments espoused by the “other” side. I highly recommend it!

Back to the story, well done, and thanks to the author for sharing his work!

CaedynCaedyn28 days ago

I liked how Amy selected Mia; in a way, Amy was choosing her successor as a mother and as a wife.

AnonymousAnonymous22 days ago

It's refreshing to read a story like this and like the other seven that you've written. Thank you. It's not necessary as some do to make everything about unrealistic sexual relationships. Loving relationships are loving relationships nothing more is needed and nothing more needs to be said.

6King6King22 days ago

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

BeeJay67BeeJay6718 days ago

A good well written story. Well worth its 5 stars. Only one point, North of England is roughly 4500 miles from Wyoming. Keep it up you are a real talent and a genuine addition to Literotica.

AnonymousAnonymous13 days ago

Interesting story and well written. However, I almost gave up on reading the story due to all the political verbiage at the beginning of the story. For that reason I dropped my rating of the story from a 5 to a 4*.

Anonymous
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