A Secret Shared

The material was then slowly unrolled up my leg, Clare's hands gently caressing my toned calves (the benefits of frequent cycling and swimming) in the process.

"Please stand," I was instructed.

Once I was on my feet, the material was carefully pulled further up my leg until it reached the top of my thigh. Further adjustments and smoothing out of the material followed, until I felt the straps of the cincher being attached to the tops of the material on my thighs. "Stockings," I thought, with a smile, answering my previous question.

I was instructed to sit back down, and the process was repeated on my other leg.

"Well that's the lingerie sorted. Now it is time for the make-up. However, we need to remove the blindfold. Slip your robe back on and then remove the blindfold. I don't want any peaking though! I want a big reveal of the whole outfit at the end."

I felt the cool satin material of the robe being placed on my shoulders, so I slipped my arms into the garment. This time the top of the robe did not close anywhere near as much as before. However, the belt around my cinched waist was pulled much tighter than previously.

The blindfold was slowly removed and as my eyes gradually adjusted to the light, I looked down at the outline of my new breasts and to down to my stocking clad legs. Clare slapped my hands away as I automatically tried to feel my new curvy figure.

"Hey! Stop playing with yourself! I can tie you up again if I really need to!".

Reluctantly, I obeyed and sat there with my arms at my side.

"Really, we should get your finger nails sorted, but they would last for several days and would be difficult to hide from everyone else. So, we will leave then for now and just do your face," Clare informed me. "Now, move over to the chair by the desk."

I looked across the room to the desk which was covered in various tubes of liquid, small boxes of powder and plethora of small brushes, cotton pads and elaborately decorated glass containers. I stood and walked across the room, revelling in the delicious sensation of the satin robe sliding over my new cleavage. The swish over my satin clad bottom. The feel of the suspender straps rubbing against my thighs with every step. The caress of the stockings. A shiver shot through me. Starting somewhere deep inside my pelvis, it felt like an icicle had been drawn from just above my anus, along the crack of my buttocks, up the base of my back, along my spine to the middle of my shoulder-blades before splitting and passing along each shoulder, underneath my bra straps, to my shoulder joints, before moving along my arms to the tips of my fingers. A tingling also spread from my neck, across the back of my head, before spreading out around the crown, feeling like someone had just run their fingers through my hair. The sensory overload forced an almost silent gasp from my lips. Worried my legs would give way, I quickly sat on the chair and tried to compose myself.

Seemingly oblivious to my state of mind and body, Clare soon got to work on my make-over. First my eyebrows were tidied up. A miniscule comb was used to get them all in the right place and heading in the correct direction. So far so good! Suddenly, I was shocked to feel a sudden pain as Clare began to pluck the hairs that were apparently in the wrong place or longer than they should be. Being a girl was not all sensual fun, after all.

Next my face was scrubbed, using a cleanser and moisturised with a peach smelling cream. Once this had soaked into the skin, an orangey brown base was added to my skin. It felt as though my earlier massage was being finished on my face. Next came the blush. I was instructed to suck in my cheeks while the red powder was applied with a large, soft brush being pulled across my cheek bones, from near the bottom of my nose, up across the cheek bone almost to my ears. Always brushing outwards towards my ears. I found the process very relaxing. I had never really used make-up in the past (just a small touch of my sister's lipstick on one occasion).

Clare began working on the eyes next. Eyeliner was the first and most delicate part of the process. I found it almost impossible not to blink or turn to the side as the pencil was jabbed towards my eye. It took all on my willpower to keep looking straight ahead while a delicately thin black line was applied to the eyelids, from corner to corner. The line was made thicker near the outer corner and extended slightly, making my eyes look wider.

A light turquoise eye shadow was stroked across my lids using a minute pad on a stick (a bit like a large earbud). Different shades of blue were added and blended together, making the colour darken as it moved away from my nose. A back mascara was added to my lashes, followed by bright, electric blue on the tips. Clare was impressed by my long lashed. She said that most women could only dream about having such long, curved lashes. I had always been annoyed at how they seemed to regularly get stuck in my eye and wondered my women would want such troublesome lashes.

Finally, the lipstick was applied. Firstly, Clare carefully drew the outline of my lips with a pink pencil. She decided on full lips. Next, I pursed my lips as a deep pink gloss was added to them. Next, I was given a tissue to kiss, to make sure the lipstick was applied evenly.

Clare then picked up her hairbrush and my shoulder-length hair was brushed out neatly. Before I could react, Clare picked up some scissors and cut a level fringe across my forehead, just above my eyebrows. "Don't worry, I doubt anyone will notice," Clare reassured me. I was not convinced! Clare gathered my hair at the back of my head and made it into a high ponytail, holding it in place with a pink scrunchie. A thin pink ribbon, matching my lipstick, was then threaded through the ponytail, leaving it dangling down from the short tail. Every time I moved my head, I felt the ponytail sway from side to side and the ribbon tickling the back of my neck.

Clare announced, "I think the make-up is finished."

She took the large scarf away from the mirror and I took in the view in from of me. I was amazed. I did not recognise the person in the reflection. Staring back at me was a cute young girl. A girl with a slightly large nose and a jutting jaw, but there was no doubt I looked like a cute girl. Had this girl flirted with me at the bar, I might have been interested, with her cute face and sexy figure (especially those long, toned legs!) I really did look cute.

A whole range of conflicting emotions ran through my head. I was finally fully made-up in feminine make-up and sexy lingerie. I was the girl that I had wanted to be for many years. Not only that, but I had finally been able to share it with someone else. Someone I loved. Someone who helped me be the girl of my dreams. I was also starting to get turned on by the girl in the mirror. I was not sure if I fancied the girl or whether I was turned on being the girl. In the back of my mind, the dark thoughts about all of this being wrong, were beginning to stir. What would my friends and family say if they ever found out?

It was all getting to be too much. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I looked over to Clare, who saw my growing distress. She held my hand, looked me fully in the face and gently reassured me, "Oh Sweetie! Please don't cry. You look great. You are a natural. I love you so much. Do you really think we will have done this together if I did not. You secret is safe with me. Now calm down and stop those tears. You will spoil your makeup and we have not finished yet. Let me dry those eyes and redo the make-up."

After a few minutes fixing my makeup, Clare removed a shoebox from under her bed. Opening it, she removed two short black suede ankle boots with a three-inch heel.

"Your feet are a little longer than mine, so I bought you your own shoes. You may have to practice walking in those heels, but we have a long time together for you to practice," Clare told me as she slipped my feet into the boots and zipped up the sides. "Now, stand up and walk around a little. Let's see if we can get a feminine walk out of you."

I walked unsteadily around the room, but after a couple of minutes I managed to get across the room without stumbling. I was instructed to stand upright, shoulders back, chest out, arms at my side, place one foot in front of the other, heel first, feet pointing inwards (not splayed like a pigeon). After a little more practice, I looked a little more feminine and even felt a slight feminine sway. The feel of the robe swishing over my silky lingerie and stockings, along with the sway of my breasts was intoxicating. I found myself exaggerating the sway of my hips to increase the pleasures of the clothing. Strangely, I was no longer turned on by the stimulation. I was getting lost in the whole experience. It was becoming natural.

"Well, I think you have progressed as far as you can in such a short time. I think it is time for the big reveal," Clare said, taking my hand and leading me to wardrobe and the full-length mirror.

I stood in front of the mirror, Clare behind and to my side. I looked down at my ankle boots and my patterned stockings, slowly moving up my legs to my satin robe. I took in my narrow waist and ample c-cup bust, and then up to my beautifully made-up face and ponytailed hair, with its cute pink ribbon.

"Are you ready to meet Dee?" Clare asked.

"Dee? Who is Dee?" I asked, beginning to worry that someone else was soon to join us.

"You are, of course. Dee is the other you." She replied.

Clare gently pulled the cord of my robe, which parted revealing my sexy black, satin briefs and black lacy cincher, attached to a pair of patterned stockings, the tops of which had purple and black lacing.

I felt my trapped cock beginning to stir.

Clare placed her hands on my shoulders and gently slid the robe off my shoulders, snagging at my elbows, leaving my upper arms and shoulders exposed and revealing my lacy bra strap, in a similar black and purple lacing. Clare took my hands and straightened my arms, allowing the robe to fall completely to the floor. I could now see my bra, in full. The black satin padded bra, the cups curving across my small breasts (with the help of additional padding), with purple lace edging on the cups.

I stared in shock at how sexy it all looked. With the make-up and hair put into a ponytail and fringe, I looked like a real girl for the first time. I smiled fully for the first. Finally, my dream had come true.

From behind me, I saw a flash in the mirror and heard a click. I quickly spun around and saw Clare stook there with a camera in her hand. "I think we need a record of this, so that you can remember tonight; the first time we got to see Dee; the first time you shared your secret desires with someone else," Clare explained.

I started to panic. It was one thing to share my secret with the one I loved, but to have photos, that anyone could see, was in a different league of escalation. At this time, the 1980s, cameras were the old chemical film variety. That meant we either had to take the roll to a chemist to be processed or it needed to be posted off to a lab. Either way, someone else would see the pictures, not to mention accidental (or deliberate) showing of other people in the future. So far, Clare had only taken a photo of me from behind, so I doubt anyone could have recognised me in the lingerie. However, I was unsure if my face was in the reflection of the mirror. I was not ready for this.

Of course, as usual, Clare managed to sooth my fears and before I knew it, I was posing for frontal photos. Although Clare had persuaded me to face the camera, I mostly looked embarrassingly to the floor or off to the side, trying to hide my face as much as possible.

"Remember when you persuaded me to fulfil your fantasy of arriving at your door in just my lingerie covered by my short black coat?" Clare asked. "Well, I want a photo of you doing the same. Don't worry, you don't need to walk across campus like I had to, we can just do it in the room." she continued.

I was adamant that this was a step too far, but after a few minutes, I found myself putting on Clare's black coat, which barely came down as far as the lacy stocking tops. A series of snaps were then taken in various stages of sexily removing said coat. By now Clare knew she could get me to do almost anything. I was high on the exhilaration of dressing up with someone else, but I also knew that Clare could easily blackmail me to do anything, if she really wanted to.

After a few minutes of feeling like glamour model, Clare told me that it was time to complete the outfit for the night. She opened the wardrobe and pulled out a black, long sleeved woollen dress. She unzipped the dress and placed the open dress at my feet.

"Come on Dee. Step into the dress. I can't wait to see the full outfit." Clare cajoled, taking my hand to help me keep my balance in my new heels. After stepping into the dress, she slowly pulled it up my body, instructing me to slide my arms into the sleeves. The feel of the material on my skin was delicious, matched by the constricted feeling around my waist, as Clare pulled the zip up, at the back of the dress. She finally zipped me into the dress completely and I stared in stunned silence at the final look.

While the lingerie had created gorgeous curves for my bust and my reduced waist, the addition of a tailored dress emphasised my feminine figure to the max. The neck of the dress was tight on my own neck, hiding what little Adam's Apple I had. I walked around the room, the skirt of the dress seeming to move a second behind the rest of my body, swaying back and forth across my knees as I walked. At that moment, my life's most desired wish had been fulfilled. I was not just dressed as a girl, but outwardly, I looked like one too. To top it all, I had shared my desire with someone I loved and trusted, and they had shared the experience with me.

Shyly, I whispered, "Please can you take some more photos?"

The desire to have a permanent record of this night had finally overcome my fears.

After a few more minutes of posing for photos, I walked over to Clare, took her hands and whispered a heart-felt 'Thank you' in her ear, followed by a gentle loving kiss on her cheek. A few more kisses formed a trail towards Clare's lips.

Unexpectedly, Clare's body stiffened, and she turned her face away from me. I tried to kiss her once more, but she actively pulled away now, letting go of my hand.

"Clare, what is the matter?" I enquired, worry starting to creep into my voice.

Clare slowly turned around, but still refused to look into my eyes. I tried to take her hand, once again, but she shrank away once more. Every time I went close, she backed away, almost recoiling. I was getting very confused. It was her idea to dress up tonight. She had put so much into it, buying me a complete set of lingerie, and setting up the room for the make-over. Yet now, she did not seem to want to have anything to do with me. She could not stand to even look at me. I knew it was a lot for a girl to accept, but she had taken things a lot further than I would ever have dreamed to do on my own.

"Please, Clare. Please talk to me. I look stupid, don't I. A man doing a bad impression of a woman. You think I am a freak, don't you? You hate me. I am so sorry." I started babbling; my mind searching for any way I could just get out of the room and hide.

I backed away from Clare, sat on the bed, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them; making myself as small as I could; willing a hole to open up and swallow me. I just wanted everything to end. This misery to go away.

While I was wallowing in my own misery, I did not notice the bed mattress sink next to me. I did notice a hand on my shoulder though, followed by my hand being squeezed. Clare took my hand and pulled it to her lips, gently kissing it.

"I am so sorry!" Clare's quiet voice whispered next to me. "I just can't." I felt a wetness on my hands and turning to see Clare, I could see tears on her cheeks glistening in the light.

"I understand." I replied. "I really was stupid to hope that anyone could understand or accept the way I am. I don't even understand it myself. I both love the exhilaration of the other me and hate that she exists. I hate that no matter how hard I try to hide her, to push her out of my head, she always comes back eventually. At some point in the day, she will appear in my head. I can hide her from the outside world, but she is always inside me, hoping to be allowed out to play. I can control her physically, but after a while I long to indulge her. All I can say to reassure you is that we both love you. When I am Jeff, I adore and love who you are and everything you do. When I am Dee, I crave you. If anything, Dee needs you physically more than Jeff. When I am Dee, I have no interest in men. Both of us are only interested in women. Only interested in you."

Clare looked up into my eyes. Tears still streaked her face. Then she said something I was unprepared for. Something that had never occurred to me. Something that was to change our relationship (again).

"You idiot!" she scolded. "I don't hate you. Would I have done all this if that were the case? You don't look stupid, or ugly, or like a man in a dress. In fact, if you had looked like a stupid man in a stupid dress, there would not have been a stupid problem in the first place. The problem is that you do look beautiful in your dress and make-up. Dee is exactly the woman that Jeff would fancy! I am even kind of jealous of her! She's beautiful. She loves to wear lingerie and sexy clothes. I expect she is amazing physical in bed too. I know that Dee loves, probably even lusts, after me. But THAT is the problem. Dee may be a lesbian, but I am not!

I was stunned into silence. This was something I had not even contemplated.

Clare continued, "I am really sorry, but every time Dee tried to get close, it scared the hell out of me. I just cannot do it with another woman. Being physical with another woman is just something I cannot entertain. I so want to share my life and my body with you, Jeff, I am willing to do almost anything. To be honest, I really enjoyed meeting Dee, but I am afraid that I can only ever be a friend with Dee. I can't ever be her lover!"

"So what do we do from here?" I asked, my head spinning in a confusion of mixed feelings.

"Well for tonight, you have a choice to make. You can either stay as Dee and we can sit and chat or watch TV. We can have a lovely evening as friends. Alternatively, we can say goodnight to Dee, for tonight, remove all of her make-up and clothes, and when you are Jeff again, we can get into bed and make up for the week we have been apart." explained Clare.

I was torn. The euphoria of having Dee meet someone else was addictive. Now she had made it into the world, it was going to be extremely hard to make her go away, especially after such a short time. However, the need to feel Clare's body next to mine; to feel her kisses on my lips, her breasts against my chest; her arms wrapped around me. Our bodies intertwined and making love; Making up for the week apart. It was all too much.

"I guess I need to say goodbye to Dee," I said, moving to the wardrobe mirror to have one last look at the sexy curves of Dee's body in her tight black dress.

"Let me help you," I heard from behind me, as I felt the zip of the dress being pulled down to the base of my back, exposing my black lacy lingerie. It did not take long to remove all of Dee's clothes, but cleaning up her make-up took much longer. It was yet another new experience for me, but an hour later, Clare and I lay naked in bed, kissing and caressing each other, the start of another hour or two of fun.