A Secret Tryst

Whenever I think of you, 'Frisco, always figures somewhere. Maybe because it's where we lived, spent our childhood, fell in love and had such wonderful times with our friends. How I wish I could turn back time and start all over again.

When we met again years, it was again in the city where we grew up so it was probably fated that we would look at each other and instantly the memories would come rushing back, sweeping us both off our feet and headlong into a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Common sense deserted the both of us but I don't think we have any regrets, do we? I think we would do the same thing again and again despite the havoc it has caused in our lives.

And then came the point when everything reminded me so much of you that I would feel almost miserable when I visited the city that I have loved and still love so much!

The memories were almost painful. Every single place, object and person I came across reminded me of you.

And then I realised that in this lifetime, I would never get to do any of the things I had

dreamt of doing with you. I wouldn't get to enjoy the simple pleasure of laughing over a joke with you in public, I couldn't even hope to have a casual friendship with you. And the only thing that got me through each day, were my fantasies.

Every time I was in the city, I would end up at some nightclub or house party after dinner and I couldn't stop myself from imagining how it would be, to be with you at one of these places. Dancing, drinking and doing something crazy! And since I knew that it wasn't ever going to happen, I'd allow myself to indulge in the make-believe world of fantasy since it's the only place where we could be together in public.

And this is where this story begins.

I'm at an after-party with a group of friends, all of whom are known to you. It's crazy how many common friends we have and quite unbelievable that we haven't bumped into each other at one of these parties before despite being in the city at the same time. Maybe our friends think that it would be weird to invite us both although I don't know why, since not a soul knows about us.

When I feel the prickle at the back of my neck, I know that you've walked in. Don't ask me how I know. It's just a sixth sense that I have. Every nerve ending in my body stands at attention when you're around! It's insane how you affect me!

I hear your voice greeting someone in my group and my knees quiver. The sound of your voice makes my heart rate triple and my knees go weak! You know that, right? I don't want to turn around because I'm terrified that people will notice the way my eyes light up when you are near me but I have to. It would be noticed and speculated upon if I didn't.

"Why did she ignore him??"

"What do you think that means?!"

"You think there's something going on between them??"

"Must be, if neither spouse is around!"

And so on...!!!

So I turn around and my throat goes instantly dry. It's as though all the breath has been sucked out of my body. JC and you look like twins. So similar but I have eyes only for you. You have on my favourite colour: A midnight blue shirt that I instantly love, black trousers instead of denims and black moccasins. The top two buttons of your shirt are open and I can see the tanned skin of your throat and long to press my lips against the smoothness of that skin. You have the smoothest skin, I've ever seen. As a woman, I'm envious of it!

Your eyes, hidden behind your glasses seem to sweep over the tableau at the bar counter. Do I imagine them lingering on me for longer than they should? I'm dressed in black, my lace onesie with the plunging neckline hugging every curve of my breasts and hips, tucked into the skin tight hip hugging leatherette jeans. I had had to go bra-less as the top wasn't meant to have one, so the sides of my breasts are pretty much visible. I'm wearing the signature stilettos that my friends envy and my only accessory is the sparkling ruby lipstick and shimmery eyeshadow. Do you like what you see? I had dressed up in the hope that I'd bump into you and I'm ecstatic that my dream has started materialising!

You smile that crooked smile that I love and walk towards me, shaking hands and greeting our friends and I wonder if you're going to ignore me as you had once, years ago when we'd bumped into each other at a similar do.

I'm not sure how you'll react when we are actually face to face in a public place and realise that I can't take that chance and have unwanted attention drawn to us yet again! How utterly irritating social gossip is when it's being directed at oneself, isn't it? So, I put on my game face and turn towards you, my hand out, ready to shake yours.

"Hey..How are you? I had no idea that you were in town as well!

How lightning doesn't strike me, I don't know!!

I can see that you're a little surprised but you're too smart to let it show. We hadn't planned for this interaction but had sort of discussed how we should react if it ever came about and instead of taking my hand you bend forward and give me a slight hug. Maintaining a distance but dismissing the stupid side hug that most men favour when a woman is involved and it makes me smile inside.

That certainly will make tongues wag! But I'm so happy that my sense of self preservation is crumbling by the second!

"Hey! I'm great! It's good to see you..it's been ages, hasn't it?"

I can sense the multiple sets of eyes watching us and shiver inwardly. It's not a good situation but I refuse to turn tail and run.

The evening progresses. All of us are drinking and the music is getting louder by the second. The crowd is huge as our hosts seemed to have invited the entire city! People are milling around and sobriety is fast losing it's attractiveness! We have kept our distance from each other. Ostensibly talking and drinking with everyone but each other but I can't help stealing glances at you over my martini glass! I can see that you too, have been fighting a losing battle when I look up and see you watching me from across the room. You're standing at the bar with JC but I can feel your eyes on me despite the fact that you're wearing glasses!

Maybe the alcohol has given me a lot of Dutch courage because I don't know what comes over me. I leave my friends and walk towards the bar, my empty glass dangling from almost nerveless fingers.

"Hey, JC, please can you get me a refill? I refuse to push myself into that crowd!"

JC is a sweetheart. Even as kids I had a soft spot for him. Maybe because he and his friend looked so similar. But where I felt this crazy, relentless passion for his friend, JC was like a brother to me. He was the one left to do the handholding when his friend dropped me without an explanation.

"Darling Fi, ofcourse! But there's such a crush! You'll have to wait for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Of course! In the meantime, you mind if I ask your friend to dance? It's been so long and I'm going to take advantage of the fact that N isn't here!" In a trice the words were out before I could stop myself..

I can see your eyes widen in shock and I'm sure JC is pretty taken aback as well, but he doesn't show it at all.

"Are you going to refuse to dance with me?"

I look up into your eyes. You look as though you're going to say something but then you smile and laugh.

"Ofcourse not! But I don't know what you expect! You know I've never been much of a dancer!! "

"Oh, come on! It's me! Don't be so shy!"

And before you can change your mind, I reach out and grab your hand and lead you towards the dense black hole that's the dance floor, leaving JC looking on in definite shock. I laugh inwardly thinking about what details he's going to squeeze out of you later!

The crowd is insane! I had completely forgotten that I detest crowds and strangers encroaching on my personal space but right then, I was thanking every god in the heavens above. Thanks to the crush, we were literally lost on the darkened dance floor. Suddenly I feel your arms come around me from the back. You pull me against your chest, protecting me from the crowd because you know me so well. And I'm in heaven!

I can smell your cologne. It's Bleu de Chanel, one of my favourites and if I turn just a couple of inches, my lips will be caressing your exposed throat and it's all I can do to hold myself in check. I can feel your heart beating against my back. Is it faster than normal? Because mine is beating like a trip hammer inside my rib cage!

"So what was that about? You are insane to take such chances, baby. Do you have a death wish? You KNOW this is going to get out and I don't even want to think about the consequences. Why do you have to be such a daredevil and tempt fate?!"

You've taken advantage of the crowd to bend down and whisper in my ear, your voice heavy with something akin to despair. I know I've taken a huge risk. But it was beyond my control. The pros in my eyes far outweighed the very serious cons. Love makes one do crazy things. I turn around and look up into your eyes.

"Don't look at me like that..", you say softly.

"Why? Why shouldn't I look at you? What will people see?"

I'm upset. I had thought that you'd be happy to see me and the imagined censor in your voice wounds me unbearably. I know you're right, obviously, but it still hurts.

"They will see that I'm crazy about you, you silly girl!!"

Your arms come around me almost involuntarily and you pull me tight against you. My hands are trapped between our bodies against your chest and I can feel your heart beating. Faster than normal. And I can't help but smile.

We are doomed for sure but at that moment I couldn't give a damn about the consequences. The crowd seems to disappear and nothing exists except the two of us. I have never felt so at peace. I know that there will be hell to pay but that's tomorrow. Today, I'm going to enjoy this for all it's worth.

Suddenly, you move away and grab my hand.

"Come with me!"

You pull me to the darkest corner of the crowded dance floor. It's an alcove near the restroom. Your body shields me from any prying eyes.

"You are definitely crazy, you know. And god help me..I can't stop myself..!"

And you bend down and kiss the arch of my neck, sending shivers of excitement down my spine. I'm in shock! You are not the kind of person who cares for PDA and in this kind of situation..never! But I'm not wasting a second! Instantly my arms are around your neck, pulling you closer, my fingers buried in your hair..

"God..do you know how stunning you look? Every guy at that table was watching you!!"

I honestly hadn't noticed. The only person I was interested in was you. I had eyes for only you. And a shiver of excitement rushed through me. This situation is so bizarre that it brings out the daredevil in me.

My hand slides down between us and closes around your hardness. And it is hard! It seems to have morphed into rock from throbbing flesh! Almost involuntarily, your hand slides up to cup the side of my breast. Your thumb caressing my nipple through the lace. And I can't stop the soft groan..

"Shhh..you can't!"

I think the sound brings you to your senses and you stiffen, stepping away a millimetre but I feel as though there's a chasm between us!

My hand is still on your chest and your arms are still around my hips, when a voice intrudes.

"Hey..where did you two disappear...?"

JC's voice fades into silence. The arms around me drop and I suddenly feel a chill of apprehension. JC is standing there, my drink in his hand and his expression is enough to make my heart skip a beat. I can almost see the wheels turning inside his head as he watches us. There can be no misinterpretation. He knows! Almost instantly he is all business. He hands me my glass.

"Okay, let's go. Your friends are looking for you. I told them that you were probably in the restroom. And you.."

He looks pointedly at you.

"You definitely need go to the restroom"

You look at me, your expression unfathomable. You put out a hand but then it drops by your side and you turn and stride away. I feel like crying and can feel my eyes filling up. I blink back my tears before they fall and draw even more attention! JC puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Listen, it's okay. I didn't see anything. No harm was done but THIS is dangerous. You know that, right? Come on..let's get you back"

See, there's a reason I have always loved this guy. He is someone you can trust with your life. I have no idea what he thinks and what he's going to tell you. He'll probably lecture the crap out of you but perhaps not. He knew the reason why we broke up all those years ago but all he ever told me was, " Let it go."

You don't come back to my group after that. I think you've realised that despite my insistence that we can behave normally with each other in public, it's not really possible. We affect each other too much to be able to maintain a facade of nonchalance and thus, it's better to keep our distance in public. I knew you were right all along and tonight has proved it but I'm terribly upset.

Now the evening seems to drag on! I just want to leave but I can't. It would be too conspicuous and honestly just being in the same room with you, even if we aren't together, is enough for me.

An hour later you come by to say your goodbyes and raise your hand in a slight wave at me. I know it's stupid of me but I'm still feeling hurt. And I don't even know why! Once you've left, I'm itching to leave too. My phone buzzes against my hip.

"Call me when you get out of there. I'm waiting.."

How is it that instantly my mood changes? I can't help the smile that I know is plastered across my lips. Just seeing your name on my screen does that to me!

Half an hour later, I plead tiredness and leave. I've barely reached my parents' place and my phone buzzes.

"I'm here. Open the door."

I rush to the door and unlock it as gently as I can and instantly I'm in your arms, my arms locked around your neck, pulling your head down to find your lips. Your mouth opens over mine and your tongue brushes over my lower lip, sucking on it lightly and then we're kissing as though it's a matter of life or death. Your arms are crushing me to you but I feel nothing other than ecstasy! Every inch of my body is plastered to you as if you're an extension of me.

Good sense prevails on you faster than it does on me and you try to loosen my grip so that we can go inside and shut the door before we get caught. We are kissing each other like teenagers at 2am!!

You sigh softly when you realise that I've no intention of letting go of you. And the next instant your arms sweep me off my feet, cradling me against your chest as though I weigh next to nothing! My arms around your neck and you step over the threshold into the house where we've met, so very many times in the past. I'm giggling like a schoolgirl as I reach out and open my bedroom door.

"You know you are crazy, right? And you manage to make me do insane things as well! God, we are doomed, aren't we?"

You whisper in my ear and I laugh again, muffling the sound against your shoulder and hugging you even harder. Yes I am crazy but only where you are concerned!

You move towards the bed, deposit me on it and then turn to fasten the door. I crook my finger as you turn to face me. I can't help smiling wickedly!

"Come here!"

You walk up to bed and I reach out to loop my arms around your neck. You pull me against you and in an instant I'm your arms once again. This time our kiss is slower, gentler. Not filled with the desperation of a few minutes ago! We have the next few hours and we are going to make the most of it.

"I thought the evening would never end!"

You stroke my shoulder-length hair away and kiss the arch of my neck. Your hands are roaming over my body, sweeping over my waist and coming up to cup my breasts. Your thumb strokes the already diamond hard nipples through the lace which feels rough against the overly sensitive skin.

I can feel your hands moving and I realise that you're looking for the buttons that will open my top, but you're not to know that it's like a swimsuit which has snaps that fasten between my legs. Snaps which are already soaked through with my juices, because I'm wetter than I've ever been in a long time, the fitting of the unusual garment adding to the arousal between my legs.

With a sound which is torn between impatience and arousal, you suddenly pull aside the offending fabric.

"What on earth are you wearing..?!"

And the rest of the sentence is lost as you realise that I wasn't wearing a bra all this time. You look down at your hand that's cupping bare flesh and with a groan, bend and take the nipple into your mouth.

I can't take the sensations coursing through me and my legs buckle. My arm tightening behind your neck as your other arm splays out behind my back to hold me as you unintentionally bend me over. Your lips are nuzzling my breast, your tongue laving the pink bud gently and then curling around it to suck it as deeply as you can into your mouth and I can't stop the sounds emitting from my throat. I'm engulfed with sensations that threaten to drown me.

"Oh god, please..please,.."

"Please what? Please stop?"

You look up at me and my eyes are drawn to the French mirror in the corner of the room, because of the movement and the image I see reflected there, will be seared in my mind for a very long time.

It's like a scene out of a soft porn movie. Both of us in dark clothes, me bent over your arm theatrically, the white of my exposed skin, so clearly visible, your sun tanned hand cupping my breast, your face against it looking up at me, while my hands clutch at your neck! It shocks me into silence.

I shake my head and you smile up at me. Well, I can't see your lips because they are nuzzling my nipple again but I can see your eyes twinkling!

You move suddenly and I find myself deposited back on the edge of the bed.

You unbutton my pants and slide them off my legs, one at a time..

"I wanted to do this at the party tonight.."

I'm lying back propped up on my elbows. I'm in such a daze that my non-stop chatter and quick repartee seems to have vanished. Every nerve ending seems to be tingling where your fingers touch me.

The pants are lying discarded on the floor..

"What are you wearing? A swimsuit?"

I can't help the laughter that bubbles out of me!

"No!! It's a bodysuit.."

"Well, swimsuit, bodysuit...it looks the same! How the hell do I get you out of the damn thing and how do you use the bathroom?"

You are completely mystified and I laugh again! I point between my legs...

"There are buttons down there to remove the bottom..."

I haven't even finished explaining and your fingers are between my legs and I'm attacked with a sudden bout of shyness. I know you will see how wet I am and my eyes close involuntarily, only to snap open as I feel your fingers slide inside me.

The fastenings have been removed and you've also discovered that I wasn't wearing panties either..

"God in heaven!! Did you actually go out tonight without any underwear? No bra, no panties...Thank god I didn't know. I don't know how I would've stopped myself from taking you in the bathroom tonight.."

Your mouth opens over my lips again. Your tongue thrusting into my mouth, the same way that your fingers are sliding in and out of my wetness. I can't stop my hips from arching up against your fingers which are driving me over the edge and I definitely can't stops the moans but the sound is swallowed up by your lips. You raise your head and look into my eyes..

"Come for me baby, please..I need you to come for me.."

I'm so turned on but I need something more and you know what I crave. In an instant, you've moved between my legs, pushing them apart. Your fingers are still sliding in and out slowly, and you hold my eyes as you bend down and kiss the unbearably sensitive skin of my inner thighs.