A Serendipitous Reunion Ch. 03

*A note to my readers. I hope you've enjoyed the story up until now. As I wrote chapter two I kept thinking about how this story would be if I'd written it from Megan's perspective instead of Paul's. So I've done something they always say you should never do, (yet I've seen done many times. Writers are lousy for following rules.) I've swapped perspectives mid-story. There's no guarantee I will stick to it, but for now, here is Megan's story. Thank you for taking the time to read it.*

I stared out the window of the cab as we crossed the Queensboro bridge. Emotions roiled inside me, mostly emptiness. That oh so familiar feeling of being alone, again.

"Harlot, courtesan, whore, is that what they would have called me in the olden days?" I wondered as I thought about how I got here.

Derek had said he loved me, and had shown me in so many romantic ways. He was so sweet, and handsome, and I thought, dedicated entirely to me. I'd fended off his proposal once. When he set up that surprise weekend on Nantucket I succumbed. I fell for the romance of it all. I couldn't imagine a life without him at that point and shuddered to think about it.

That Autumn, in between holidays, we'd started the planning. Well I had at least. He didn't understand that you didn't just make a couple calls the week before to set up a wedding, reception, and honeymoon.

His Christmas office party wasn't a formal event that year. They just went to a nearby bar and had drinks. There wasn't much left of his office after the stock market crash in October of the year before but somehow he'd held onto his job. It had been rough but we were okay. So I thought. I kept the wedding plans very low key and small so as to not worry him about money. A week later when mom called and asked if I would stop by on my way home after school I didn't think twice about it. I was concerned when I saw dad's truck in the driveway. He usually wasn't home this early. That's when I got the news of Derek slipping out of the bar early with one of the receptionists from his office. I hadn't worried, I had no reason to be concerned before that day. He had been totally devoted to me for the past two years. I didn't doubt my dad. He had it from a very reliable source, and sadly I could picture Derek doing it after several drinks.

Mom and Dad tried to comfort me. They told me that my room was available if I needed it. I went home to our apartment and packed. Derek got home and asked what was going on. I told him, all the while tears slipped down my face. He apologized, but you don't break a trust like that and just say you're sorry, not with me at least. He tried to reason with me but I wouldn't listen. I just went on with packing and I left. I don't know if it was due to pride or owning up to what he did but he didn't try overly hard to win me back. I had no intention of letting him if he'd tried. I was crushed and I realized that the depth of feeling I had for him wasn't mutual. He'd made a fool of me.

* * *

"That'll be eight twenty-five." I was shaken from my reverie by the cab driver. He'd pulled up in front of Ruby's building. I pawed through my bag to find my wallet, paid him and got out. I went up to the apartment. Ruby wasn't home and it was just as well. She had a regular day job during the summer and I wouldn't likely see her for hours. I put my bag on the bed and found the envelope Paul had given me. I flipped through the bills and shook my head. Five thousand dollars in crisp new one hundred dollar bills. I took five bills to give to Ruby and slid the rest into the hidden seam in my bag and tossed the envelope in the trash.

It was mid-morning and I hadn't had any coffee yet. Ruby wasn't a coffee drinker so there wasn't any to be had in the apartment. I decided to go down to the Greek café across the street. The old man behind the counter flirted, telling me I was too skinny and I should have one of the lavish pastries from the case to go with my coffee. I relented. I sat with my coffee and a wedge of baklava. I stirred my coffee as I stared out the window at the people passing by.

I don't know if it was the throwback to more than ten years ago or if it was me going soft in the head but I felt overly sensitive after seeing Paul. He was still very sweet, and he'd turned out really nice in the looks department. I felt a smile creep across my lips. "Why the hell did we have to reconnect this way?" I thought to myself. I felt the smile fade from my lips.

I thought back to when I had started doing this. Ruby and I had many long talks. She tried to dissuade me at first, but neither of us saw a way to make the kind of money I needed short of robbing a bank. Like I'd told Paul, dancing was out, I didn't want to be found out by anyone who might know me. The honest truth is that Paul should never have found me. Ruby had screwed up checking his background. Since I was his first it wasn't like he had any references from other providers. She must have forgotten to ask where he was originally from which would have been a red flag. I felt a bout of self-loathing start to creep up on me.

"You no like?" I snapped out of my daze and looked up at the old man who pointed at the untouched plate in front of me.

"I'm sure it's delicious I was just lost in thought." I picked up the fork and cut off a bite. He smiled and patted me on the shoulder before moving to the table behind me to clear it off and wipe it down.

The last set of bills made me wonder if I would ever be able to stop doing this. Every time I did it I wondered if this was my life now. My one time dream of teaching at a university, and writing my own books, was just that, a dream. The money Paul gave me would make a dent. His work must pay him an awful lot considering he'd paid me what amounted to almost a third of my yearly income from teaching. I felt a sudden wave of shame. Had I manipulated him? I thought about how it must have sounded to him when I explained my situation. Then he went out and bought me that diamond bracelet and gave me all that cash. I looked at my wrist where it had been earlier. I had put it away in my bag back at Ruby's not wanting to walk around with it on, worried that I'd lose it. I felt a stinging in my eyes, the first tear felt like fire burning it's way down my cheek. I reached for a napkin tugging it free from the dispenser and brushed them away and grabbed my bag and left.

I crossed back to the apartment and went upstairs. Ruby had two phone lines, one for her personal use and one for business. I used the personal one and called the business line. I heard the machine kick on beneath the phone and I recorded a message asking her to not schedule any clients for me and I would call her in a few days. I gathered my things and called for a taxi. Before long I was ensconced on the northbound train towards home. Getting my ticket at the station and keeping an eye on my luggage kept my mind occupied until I was seated. The train was about half full despite it being early for people to be headed home from work on a Friday afternoon. The man next to me was reading a sports magazine and I took a deep breath and took the book Paul had given me out of my bag. I knew the basic premise of the book but I'd never read it. No matter how much I tried my mind kept wandering to him. That boyish charm had subtly strengthened over the years. I remember paying more attention to him after he turned in that story for a writing assignment I'd given to the class. It wasn't sordid, it was a sweet fairy tale starring me as the damsel and himself as the charming hero. I let out a little laugh. It was harmless but caught the notice my mentor, Jack Phillips. It was only years later when the movie came out that I had realized he'd condensed most of his story from a book he'd read.

The train slowed and I saw the sign for the Bridgeport station out of the window. I would be home in about half an hour.

I mounted the stairs to my second floor apartment cracking the door open and dropping my bag inside before going back down to retrieve the mail. I went back up and made myself a snack from the meager rations I had in the fridge and opened a bottle of wine. As I sorted through the mail and saw a flyer for the mall advertising summer sales and I got an idea. Despite my need to get a few groceries I was curious just how much he had dropped on that bracelet. A pang of guilt hit me as I realized I didn't deserve something like that.

"I should have just given it back to him this morning." I said and shook my head. I took the cash I'd collected and put it in the strong box I'd hidden in the back of my closet. I put the bracelet in there as well. It wasn't a bad neighborhood but I didn't want to tempt fate.

I took a quick inventory of the cupboards and grabbed my keys. I made my way to the mall, figuring Macy's would be a good place to get an idea of the cost of that bracelet. I don't know why I was obsessing over it but I felt like I had to know. Twenty minutes later I was walking into the mall. I wasn't exactly on a mission but the curiosity was killing me. I normally dissuaded my few regulars from purchasing anything more than my time. Ruby had told me it made separating your life easier when you didn't have a gold Rolex on at a PTA meeting, and cash was better for spending on something for yourself. She was really good at making her point.

I slipped through the weekend crowd and made my way to the jewelry counter. I looked over the case and saw the bracelet. Its small tag was turned to show off the metal and carat weight of the stone rather than the price. I must have caught the saleslady's eye as she saw me focused on the one piece.

"Can I show you something from the case?"

I smiled and let out a sigh. "I love that one with the single stone."

The lady quickly found her key and unlocked the door on the case and pointed to it. "I love this one too. It's so simple and elegant." She took it out and placed it on a velvet mat on the counter for me to look at.

"It's a quarter carat certified white diamond in fourteen carat gold, with a honeycomb bezel setting and lobster claw clasp. It's really versatile. You could wear it for a casual night out or with a formal outfit." The lady pitched, hoping for a sale. I casually flipped the tag and the price was neatly printed, twelve hundred dollars. The shock must have shown on my face as she told me under her voice that starting the next day there was a ten percent discount advertised. "I could hold it for twenty four hours for you if you're interested."

I took a deep breath and let it out and smiled at her. "No, thank you. It's a little out of my price range. Thank you for showing it to me." I found my way past the clothing to the lingerie. I looked over the incoming fall looks, the darker colors and earthy tones and wondered if there was anything there Paul would like to see me wear. I stopped and realized I was specifically thinking of only him as I shopped and it bothered me. I turned towards the exit in hopes of getting him out of my head. I almost stopped in at Victoria's, but I was already running late to hit the grocery store before it closed. I walked by a group of teenagers that had crowded around a few of the tables and one of them let out a loud wolf whistle as I did. I wanted to turn and tell the kid off but deep down it felt good. It made me feel younger than I had in a long while.

I was putting away groceries when the phone rang.

"Just tell me if I need to hurt a motherfucker."

I started laughing. "No Ruby, everything's fine."

"What's with the sabbatical then? I had another client lined up for Tuesday."

"Please cancel it. I just need to get my head around a few things."

Ruby was silent for a several heartbeats. "Is it time already?"

I swallowed hard. "I don't know." My voice was hushed even to my ears.

"Take the time you need, and let me know what you decide. If you need to talk, call me."

"I will."

"I love you Meg. Take care of yourself."

"I love you too Ruby. Thanks. I'll keep in touch."

I stared out the window, the sun had since set, the blue-white glow of the streetlight on the corner was the only light now.

I poured another glass of wine and wandered into the living room, my mind roaming with no particular destination in mind. I lit the candle on the coffee table and sat and curled into a ball on the end of the sofa. The sulfur scent of the match faded and the smell of sandalwood filled the air as I watched the flame flicker and dance.

Emotions tumbled through me. I'd felt this same way last summer, wondering whether or not I was indulging in meaningless hookups because I wasn't willing to put my heart in danger of being broken again. I justified getting paid for it by paying down dad's hospital bills, but I wasn't being completely honest with myself. Apart from a few clients I saw, I enjoyed it. I rolled my eyes at how mom would react if she found out. I was such a conservative teen. I mistook being a prude for being mature. Truth was I was just being a bitch when it suited me. I liked the attention from the boys when it started. I wasn't a wanton hussy, but I didn't dissuade many of them. When I lost my virginity I didn't feel like I'd been robbed of my virtue. Despite my background in English literature I felt rather emancipated. I enjoyed sex and I still enjoyed it, but something was very different this time.

"Paul." I said softly. He touched me in a place he couldn't reach with his lips or his hands. I took a deep breath and held it before taking a long sip of wine. I bit my lip and realized it wasn't the first time he'd touched me that way.

I set my wine glass down on the table and went to the bedroom. I flipped on the bedside lamp and slid the closet door open. I shoved the hangers to one side and found the stack of boxes of keepsakes from my youth. I picked through the top one finding sleeves of photographs and a few yearbooks. I dug a little more and found a grade book and peeled the cover back to reveal the year. "Wrong one." I dug further finding another, the edges were worn and I flipped it open to find it was the right one. I paged through it quickly, and frustrated I tipped it and shook it. My breath caught in my throat as a sheaf of folded pages fell out. I bent and picked them up. I took them to the lamp and unfolded them to reveal the old photocopies I'd made of Paul's story. I felt my heart skip a beat and turned off the lamp. I walked back into the living room and flipped on the reading lamp before sitting down again. I looked at the pages, faded and slightly discolored. I read the story again and smiled at the stylized adventures of Maewyn and Pol plagiarized I later found out. He loved her, she was indifferent towards him. He left to find his place in the world and when they met again she did not recognize him. He realized that she hated him in his new role as the renowned rogue. He didn't seek to correct her but let her believe him the villain. Once she realized that he was in fact her Pol, she admitted the depth of her feelings for him and the heartbreak she felt at his leaving. I felt the heat of tear on my cheek as I finished reading it again.

I looked out the window at the darkness and realized what it was. Paul had touched me far deeper than I had ever admitted to myself back then. I probably wrote it off as puppy love, but this week I felt it again, and it wasn't puppy love. He looked at me with such veneration, still. I loved the way it made me feel, and I realized that's what I've been missing. I'm aware enough of myself to know that I've been lonely for several years now owing to the fact that I've shunned the idea of starting a relationship with anyone new out of fear. The feeling of being loved by someone. Someone that has touched me like that before was a craving I didn't realize I had. He's reawakened the feeling, to be wanted, to be needed by someone that feels about you the way you feel about them. I'd nearly forgotten what it was and now that it's awake I crave it.

Do I love him? I've only seen him for a couple days for the first time in over a decade. That seems a little convenient. What is the pull? When I went back to his hotel room I wanted him to whisk me inside, peel off my dress and take me back to bed. In the three years since I'd been doing this that feeling has never come over me, even when I was with someone I'd been with before.

"I want to see him again." The words came out softly. I don't know if I said them aloud because I hoped he would call or if I was cheering myself on to make the first move. I took my glass and drained it and my spirits deflated as quickly as they rose. "He's not going to want you now. He was enamored when you were the nubile, sweater clad, English teacher, not a call girl."

I set aside the story and padded my way back to the kitchen and poured the last of the wine, nearly overflowing the glass. I sipped a little off the top and walked back into the living room. I went over the balance sheet of what the hospital bills were and with Paul's generous contribution, well over my normal rate for an entire night, it would bring us under five figures for the first time. I just had to pay it in small increments or more questions about where the money came from might arise. As far as mom and dad knew I spent my summer on Long Island tutoring the kids of wealthy families.

I reached for the phone and started dialing.

"Ruby? It's Hannah. Hey, I need that guy Paul's contact info. The one I saw on Thursday."

"Mmm mmm, nope. You know the rules. I protect you, and I protect them."

"Ruby, I knew the guy when we were in school, it's not that tough. I know his name I could call information. He lives in White Plains now."

"Oh shit!" She must have remembered. "How the hell did I fuck that up?"

"I'm guessing you missed the part about asking where he was originally from, but that's not important. I just need his phone number and address." I could hear her sigh on the other side of the phone.

"Is he the reason you ran out on me this week?"

"Probably. Listen, it was a little bit of a shock okay? He knows that I do this for a side job, so would you just give it up?"

"Hang on." I heard her set the phone down. A moment later she came back. "You writing this down?"

"Uh huh." I flipped over a magazine on the coffee table and wrote the information down on the corner of the page.

"Don't get us in trouble. We've got a good thing going on here." She pleaded.

"The only one who will likely get in trouble is me. Goodnight Ruby, love you."

"Love you too, foolish girl."

I tapped the pen on the back of the magazine a few times and looked at my watch. It was nearly nine and I wasn't sure how early he got home, or even if he lived alone. I knew a lot less about him now than I did then. At least I could look up school records if I needed to back then. I sighed and tossed the magazine and pen back on the coffee table and tilted my head back wondering why I'd called Ruby. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I flip mindlessly from channel to channel and found myself on one of the premium channels in the middle of an Eighties romantic movie I'd seen countless times. I lost myself in the rest of the film and tried to get Paul out of my head, unfortunately at the end of the movie when the main characters dream girl rides off on the back of a Harley with the town bad boy leaving him high and dry after taking his virginity only a week before, I found myself yelling at her on his behalf.

"He's not going to love you. He's going to use you and probably just knock you up. You're leaving a better future standing on the sidewalk!" I muttered exasperated more than I'd ever felt at this scene.

I clicked the TV off during the credits and the dark closed in around me. I made my way to the kitchen feeling a little shaky from the bottle of wine. I hadn't eaten anything which explained how I got drunk so quickly. I put my glass on the counter and went to the bedroom. I turned on the bedside lamp and began to strip.