All Comments on 'A Shepherd Afield Pt. 05'

I was Reading the complete story a second Time.

And again i cried when Gretchen died.

This series is so great and well written.

Sometimes it‘s hard to remember all These names 😂

But please continue writing, you enlight our simple lifes.

I cant say i liked the shooting sceen. Because it felt a bit forced, the big "rutined" fighter frozen in time and the innocent juvenile reacting quickly. Maybe the sceen would have worked better with a sceen change so we were following gretchens point of view?

Anyway nice job with the series, it's a great read.

Why is the Erotic Couplings 'Hall of Fame' the BurntRedstone Hall of Fame? I've been told you're cheating, by running a programme to boost all of your scores and trash all the competition, but nobody would be that petty, would they? And surely the Literotica moderators wouldn't allow that? Would they?

So, I've read the series, all 3 tales up to where we are now and I have some comments. Firstly, I liked the story for the most part, it had interesting facets and characters, and the relationships were enjoyable. I still have a bit of an issue for the boyscout image you constructed for Ben, even though you pushed in his violent, possessive side as a counterbalance, a lot of the actions he took didn't seem 'natural'. Although I accept that this could have been conscious on your part due to his history of psychological pain/issues.

The sex side of things gave me pause for thought in a few places as well, although I got over the 'big dick' fantasy fairly easily, in large part I think due to your discretion in mentioning exactly how big it was every few sentences as a lot of writers on here tend to do. You portrayed him as a 'sex god' with boundless stamina but often he seemed to just 'go off' in sympathy with his partner in some romantic fantasy ideal. I clearly even remember (but not which part of the story) a scene where he had just fucked Tina and Lucy, after cumming in one of them, then went into the shower and was joined by Lucy, who sucked him off for 7 strokes before he came again. Now that was the most specific instance of how fast it took him to cum but there are many instances where he seemed to finish after a seemingly short while just because it suited the story to end with his partner. To me, this repeatedly brought me out of the story but it might just be a personal issue.

The only issue I have with your writing is your subjective prose when you're writing from a third person perspective and it should be more objective. The use of terms like 'lovely' and 'delicious' when describing things to your audience is fine when you're stating someone's opinion but as a rule, shouldn't be used in narration. Describe the ambience, the mood, the surroundings, the taste, that smell or anything but injecting a subjective term just seems manipulative and cheap. You're forcing an opinion into your readers mind as a narrative tool, rather than being emotive in your writing.

In all though, as I first stated, I really enjoyed the story, it was interesting and enjoyable with characters that I connected with and had enough meat to the story so that I could sink my teeth into it and had no real worry about being left feeling unfulfilled.

,.. and I too cried when Gretchen sacrificed her life for those she loved; heartbreaking, lovely, and I thank you!

I just finished reading this for the second time and still seeped like a baby when Gretchen was killed. You writing is so mesmerizing and I can't put it down.

i just finished reading them all if i was a better reader id read them again you are a very skilled writer i thank you best wishes shayne

Great stories hope you keep writing more on the adventures of Ben and his family!!

Another fantastic story. Loved it. Well done

A most touching story...always brings tears! The quality of the story never gets old. I really enjoy the flashes of humor too!

for a Magnificent Story! The Best Story I have ever read on literotica! Thank you for the kind way you brought this story to a Conclusion (but not an End -- moving on to 2019's continuation The Shepherd of Crook. There were of course some sad moments to the concluding segment -- especially the family's loss of Gretchen, and even the death of Wendy, without any explanation as to why she had so determinably fallen out of love with Ben years before. That will always be perplexing, together with her having picked that asshole (Derek?) to replace Ben. But Margaux is gone, good riddance, and Ben's wealth is growing exponentially, with his Military-government business, and potentially with Rainor's estate inheritance, and the contents of the mysterious strong box in Berlin. But that's for the "Crooks" Segment. Thanx again for this Great Read! Papa Golf 414.

I wish I could give this 5 stars, but you are too good a writer. You drew me in. Gretchen may not have been in the story long time-wise, but her part got to me. Maybe the sequel someone mentioned in a comment will change my mind.

I'v been an avid reader of this site for many years. It started like it does for all of us, with the sex filled stories, but as an avid everyday reader, I found the really good authors and started reading them all as I found them (qmhl, Daniel Q Steele, StangStar, JustPlainBob, Harddaysknight et.al.) and I am still looking for more.

Your writing, and this series in particular, is absoutely top notch. Story line, character development, well written and engrossing, just a masterpiece of literature.

Thank you and congratulations on some really, really good work.

By the way, I tried to login and NOT be Anonymous but the system is being a bitch...

Each and every time I read this part I breakdown a little, Gretchen's death hit me hard.

I started reading the Ben Shepherd series for the sex, but I finished reading it for the engrossing story line and the character development. Even with the multitudes of Ben's lovers and sexual escapades, the plot and the erotic couplings never got repetitious or stale. I especially enjoyed Lilly's deflowering. I did wish, however, that there was more build-up and graphic description of Cat losing her anal virginity. I will definitely be reading all the other stories by Burntredstone.

Great lead up to a powerful near ending. To turn into "Maybe the author is ending his life in a tragic way." to be replaced with a mediocre slow weak ending.

I came here because of your other work. I felt like I could trust you.. then you killed her.. I stayed up late to finish this and now I have to try to get to sleep thinking about that. I'm numb.

Oh G

GREAT JOB.

LOVED IT.

3rd time though this story still love it

Very seldom can a story bring tears to my eyes. This is literature not porn. The characters come to life, well done. I think that your name belongs with a few others such as Tefler, Spector Dugan, Final Stand and Lien Gellar. You a a great talent, thank you for sharing your treasures with us.

The writer is Canadian:

A) American cars (hood and trunk, not bonnet and boot)

B) British banking (cheque not check)

C) A + B = C (C for Canadian)

Gravol? In both the US and UK it is known as Dramamine, only in Canada is it sold as Gravol. I had to web search to find out what it is.

It is not often I am obsessed with reading a long story whenever I have time to do so, start to finish. This story is one of those. As a writer myself I can appreciate the HUGE amount of art, craft, and work that went into bringing the characters, places, and plot to life. I agree with a previous commentator who said this is not porn. It is truly literature. Thank you for creating such a fine piece.

Enjoyed this whole series very much. Excellent story arc with some very different characters, well done. Could see this as a movie or a Netflix series.

Loved the series.

While I was sad that Gretchen was killed in the end, I am glad that she is written out of the story. I was troubled by Ben's "White Knight" treatment of her...potentially making life changing decisions on her behalf (moving her to the US, marrying her, getting her pregnant via in vitro process, etc.)...all when she was in an emotionally altered state having just lost her abusive husband, before she had a chance to work on some of her issue in therapy, and before she had a chance to explore "normal" life. While this may be part of the Dom-Sub lifestyle, I thought it was a bit rushed.

Writing Gretchen out of the story also eliminated some complexity in future episodes such as having to get a custom made bed and sheets that would comfortably sleep 4. 😊

I also drew some parallels between how Gretchen and Ben's dance instructor/foster mom were killed...both by jealous people in their lives who were emotionally immature. I don't know if this was intentional on BRs part or just coincidental.

Finally, I'm glad that Jack was able to reconcile with Catherine and his grandkids and that he was able to connect with Ben in a good way (Son....) such that he was able to serve as a surrogate father figure at a time when Ben needed one. Maybe this will be the first step in Ben's learning to trust other men...another wound that he has.

Again, I'm looking forward to reading more stories by BR.

Richly developed characters that came alive; a great story line with unexpected twists.

What a great series!

Well worth taking the time to read.

BurntRedstone wrote some excellent works here,

Thanks.

Perfect denouement -- brief, all-encapsulating, and light. Now I can return to the chores of reality... unless I start an exploration of another of yours!

You should have ended series before this chapter section whatever you call it. Too much going on. Too many women. Women claiming full love with Ben but looking else where. One thing to save/help a woman but for all to fall for him, just no. This has been wash, rinse, repeat.

Very good but was spoiled by killing Gretchen off as it spoilt what could of been a decent ending will leaving it open for the next series

I reread the series and the wonderful development of the characters--I was a little taken back witth the next series and the drama concerning the assassins and theres so much story to tell with all the other items and places left for him by Gretchen. I do hope that continues one day

This was a LONG, very fun journey. Sorry it had to end.

Such a good series! Was heart broken by Gretchen’s sacrifice. Liked the ending very much with everyone in France. I think Ben SHOULD pose. lol

Again… thank-you so much for your writing talent. So much enjoyment from the read!!!

That was one wild, long and Very good read!!!

Extraordinarily well written and worth of publishing.

Please, I beg of you to never stop writing. This is one of the funniest, sexiest, loving, heart wrenchingly beautiful things I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and please consider selling your stories on Amazon, I’d definitely show my support by purchasing a paperback , hardback and an e copy!

NICE!!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I'm disappointed thats its finished. Absolutely enjoyed every line. Bravo.

Gotta say....still not a fan of the Margaux/Gretchen storyline. I feel it was an unnecessary, self-contained plot loop that didnt really need to be there. If that was removed, you wouldnt miss it and the rest of the story would have gone on fine. The fact that Ben was willing to impregnate Gretchen after only a few days of knowing her was ridiculous and out of character too.

I'm not going to lie though, I liked the Gretchen character herself, I just didnt see why it was in this story as Ben literally had so many ladies in his "love shack" that it took almost an entire page to acknowledge each one as they came to a party.

I also felt like the Wendy encounter at the end was such a letdown. There was no closure as to her motivations, no payoff to any of the build-up at all. It just felt empty with a suicide to sweep it under the rug.

My favorite content in this story was definitely the Margaret Cosburn repressed memory though...dear god was that beautiful and heartbreaking.

Despite my personal criticisms above, I absolutely loved this series an hope this author continues to bless us with their obvious talent for years to come.

A fitting finale to an epic journey. Thank you!!

Compersion Personified Beautifully

If only more people could realize what Gabriella knew instinctively, real love is limitless. Parents can obviously love more than one child because love expands to hold all those you love. True love cares more for your loved ones than one’s own self. Jealousy has always seemed inherently selfish and petty. Thank you for sharing your talents with us.

Loved it, every chapter was above and beyond my expectations. 5 BIG FAT BLAZING STARS!

Loved this series

I don’t often comment . But WOW ! Shame I can only give you 5⭐️ . I have really enjoyed the whole series so far.

fukin masterpiece

I wish that Gretchen had only been wounded and lived

Your an amazing writer. Thankyou for the time and effort put in to creating Ben Shepherd and his family.

Outstanding.

Fantastic story, I have such buy in with the characters, it's painful, such as when Gretchen heroically sacrifices her life.

Excellent work.

Great story I love it and don't want even go to work so I can read it straight thru

I actually cried at Gretchens death, a wonderful series of stories. So sad they have to end

Love the story, really hated that you killed Gretchen. There had to be other ways to meet the story arc.

Omg, what a major tour-de-force, what a magnum opus!

Congratulations for a solid out of the park series of stories. A most captivating read from start to finish. Great effort, thank you.

David C

🥸👌

It was both heroic and oh so sad when Gretchen sacrificed herself for those she loved, but then months later, little Gretchen was born, ... you do write a compelling tale, ... thank you, ... ;-) TTFN

No matter how many times i read this chapter, Gretchens death makes me cry a little bit, it seams so very unfair that she finally broke free of the hell that Rainor kept her in, only to die in front of Ben.

Still is a very compelling story, this is my fifth or sixth time reading this story.

What a roller-coaster, not just this part but the whole book and the entire saga thus far

Such an incredible journey

So far the tall tale of Ben Shepherd has been very enjoyable to read, including A Shepherd afield. Like I mentioned in a previous comment, I much rather read about Ben Shepherd than watch Netflix. Here are some mixed notes and comments I wrote down while reading A Shepherd afield 1-5.

First disappointment was when Jayden was given way too much space in the story. I am not interested in reading about other dudes and their love life. Especially not ones who encroach on the protagonist's harem territory.

Gabriella wanting to move to Milan was a big disappointment. Means Gabriella likes her new position at work more than she likes Ben. Which is not how her feelings were portrayed previously. Now I just go "Oh, that was a lie. This was a lie and that too was a lie.". So now both Cat's and Gabriella's past feelings have been devalued.

Not sure why you would do that to a core love interest. Rotate out old blood and rotate in new? Stilla negative effect on the story for me. Much better to kill her off in an accident or something. At least then it won't diminish her past relationship with Ben.

I like how Ben still keeps getting into fights and the memory lapses make it interesting. Dawn talking in her sleep was hilarious. I like how sex scenes are rarely ever glossed over, even for girls who have had several scenes before.

Rochelle swooning over another man I did not mind though. Because she had not been portrayed as being in love with Ben. It is a bit sad for Ben since he seems attached to Rochelle, but there was no mutual agreement for her to be his woman.

After hearing about the Wendy article I was hoping he would contact Naomi and her paper to get their allegiance in writing for an intelligence/media/social media war against team Wendy.

The incident with Trish, Tina and the python had me laughing.

Ben is still on about the open relationship bs when meeting Margaux. Big disappointment. It was not that long ago since he white marked Lisa and Lori. Contradictory. I hope Ben leaves her and brings Gretchen home with him. Just in a few minutes Gretchen showed more devotion and trust in Ben than Margaux have done since Margaux was introduced. Might as well bring Julie with him too, if she can stop having sex with other males.

Bloody hell. Ben should have left before Margaux stabbed him through the heart. He better not give her a second chance.

I really like how the villains keep coming.

Still do not like Jayden. Hope he gets written out of the story. I am neutral towards Frank, since almost nothing has been written about him. I have not changed my mind about Karen and Penny though, they should end up with Ben. Submissive 6 and 7?

Frickin Dr. Evil puts Ben in restraints again. Surprisingly dumb for a doctor. She knows he has enemies. He should have permanently stopped seeing Dr. Evil after she almost had him killed.

Okay, now is a good time for Ben to realize he could use some training in hand to hand combat. If you keep getting surprised by rain, eventually you will start carrying an umbrella. He barely came out on top at the Asylum. Personally I would have started wearing body armor after having faced people with guns twice.

There we go, Gretchen proves that the hospital is doing fuck-all in protecting Ben.

I am glad Gabriella decided to return.

What the hell man, I really liked Gretchen. Not cool. Made me really sad.

Only a little bit of editing was needed for typos, swapped names and such. And some for formatting to make it an easier personal read.

- Thank you, Tomboll

This being my 3rd or 4th readthrough, I was a bit prepared for this chapter and was still able to appreciate the emotional scenes spread throughout. I was thinking about the chapter as I was reading along and there is one place where I think felt, 'flat', and that's the courtroom scene. There was a tremendous build up towards what should have been a tumultuous scene and it just kind of petered out, feeling very anticlimactic. Wendy fires her lawyer and he gets quietly arrested, tells her boyfriend/partner to piss off and leave her alone and he just leaves, and then just admits to the judge that the whole build up to the case was a sham in order to blackmail Ben. If there had perhaps been a bit more of a struggle in the courtroom, maybe some of Wendy's dirty laundry got aired and Ben was lauded a bit more it would have more impact. But it was soundly overshadowed by the scene on the steps outside the court, which admittedly would probably overshadow any preceding scene. It was very powerful an gets me every time.

A good story.

At least there’s no more Marg. Least developed character ever. Seriously, she was completely uninteresting. Red flags from minute one. Didn’t give two fucks about meeting her, losing her, or having her die. Didn’t really love Rochelle’s arc in this series either. Did you just lose interest in the character? Cause it felt that way.

So, rereading through the Ben Shepherd stories but also picking through other BurntRedstone stories has caused me to make another comment here. Before moving on to the next story in the series, "The Shepherds Crook", I'd advise people to read through "An angel for Bishop" and the Ed Walters Trilogy, "One Who Understands", "The Most Valuable Gift", and "To Walk a Mile". Both stories are centred around characters who are introduced and referenced throughout The Shepherds Crook.

It's probably also a good idea to read "Drive" between chapters 2 & 3 of The Shepherds Crook, as it features a cameo by Ben and his entourage between these chapters and the central character is also referenced in a later chapter. But it's not entirely necessary, you might just get confused when a character you have no idea about is mentioned.

The chronological read order should be: (In my opinion)

The Shepherd of Ashburn Court - Parts 1 - 5

A Shepherd in France - Parts 1 - 2

A Shepherd Afield - Parts 1 - 5

An Angel for Bishop

One Who Understands

The Most Valuable Gift

To Walk a Mile

The Shepherd's Crook - Parts 1 - 2

Drive

The Shepherd's Crook - Parts 3 - 4

Did I just totally read over that Jayden is black? If I did my bad but descriptions for him, Rochelle and the sister and very light. But when they're in the hospital the blonde daughter runs up to her young black boyfriend who is Jayden and it just totally throws me even having read this story a few times. Lacking some serious past detail in this bit. Still a five star story but this hangs me up more than anything than in any other chapter

You are a damn good writer.

Great, so far, need to explore the titles mentioned by wretchedmonkey... thank you, so far!

This has been a most enjoyable series the the Ashburn Court saga. I wonder what will come next....

BurntRedstone: your writing is excellent. The plots are well thought out and include enough twists to make/keep things interesting without causing disruption in the flow of the story.

VERY well written, thank you for allowing me to share in the joy of this showing of love

The Shepherd’s saga has been great fun to read and worth reading more than once. The stories could benefit from an editor’s review to fix a couple errors, but I really enjoyed it. Thank you.

Damn I love this story! Third time they say is a charm! You won't find a better Author. I love the length of the Authors stories. My next favorite Author has got to be Saddle Tramp. 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thanks BRS, thanks a million, your the best!

A Sheperd Afield has been a wonderful addition to the series, .... from the cold of the northeastern United States, to France and Italy, to Dubai, and on to Australia, this installment was packed with sex and his return from his travels, ... and Ben finally resolved several of his suppressed memory 'problems' (and Doctor Evil wasn't so bad after all), ... as well as having his marriage to Wendy dissolved, although Gretchen's shocking passing was so sad, ... but now he is a free man again, .... and by the last chapter he was raking in much more money from his patents on various devices that were created from his unique way of problem solving, ... very enjoyable reading+, thank you, ... ;-) ttfn

Damn amazing story but Gretchen was done so dirty 😭

If I was one of the women in Ben’s circle, I would devote time to martial arts and weapons training. Combat shooting and CCWs would put a quick end to folks like Margaux.

4th or 5th read. It finally struck me that NO ONE even thought to discuss Gretchen's mental state with Rain Palomo. Everyone around Gretchen should have known that Rain could have helped her anxiety and self image considerably with informal sessions after her work hours. It's like NO ONE knew she was a psychotherapist. Now there's a plot hole I can't UN see

It seemed the author got bored with this and tried to tie up all the loose ends quickly. A few editing and proofreading problems but actually rather few compared to the previous stories in the series.

So sad about Gretchen, ... it was a very good instalment, lots happened, .... ;-) ttfn

A peace and compassionate man lives a traumatic existence full of love and pain. Pathos and mirth jockey for dominance in a turbulent quest for a humdrum 'normal' life. (Pax passionato?)