All Comments on 'A Sibling Love Story'

It is stories like this that keep me from voting 5 stars because I liked them. When a story is this good, there would be no way to give more than 5 stars so I normally stick to 4. You certainly deserve 5 here and wish I could offer more. Please continue to amaze me with your skills, and thank you for putting the time and effort into keeping others entertained.

Possibly the best story I've ever read on Literotica. Sensual and loving, inevitable yet exciting. A minor masterpiece\! Switching b ack and forth in POV while keeping the characters separate and growing is tough to do, but you did it seamlessly. Better story and better writing technique than any of your other stories that I've read.

So sweet, loving, so sensual, so beautifully written. Even though this was perfect by itself, I would still love to see a continuation to this. Thank you for such a beautiful story.

10/5

I loved this one, so much better than most of your other stuff...

I loved this! So sweet and sensual yet naughty and carnal. Brilliant!

Outstanding! This was a great, fun read. I appreciate it being a love story, and I enjoyed both characters. 5 stars, only because that's as high as I can go. Thank you for publishing it.

I throughly enjoyed this one more than all the others I've read by you. Both flirtatious and funny, sexy and sultry... and without the harsh verbal aspects of the previous stories I've read, more loving and compelling instead of just purely sexual. I'd love to see more like this in the future. 💕

It was perfect. A sequel could ruin it.

(4/13/2023) This was another five-star gem of a romance story with a perfect ending that will test our imaginations. But, of course, if you decide on a sequel; I wouldn’t mind.

One of your best, and that is saying something.

I'll go along with the sequel, other than that very good

beautiful story, great writing! Thanks!

Need a sequel

An excellent erotic romantic short story. I feel that the early pages are from a different story and have been unsuccessfully segwayed into a hot teen erotic drama, the love from early on was replaced by total lust.

Absolutely lovely. Perhaps the best bro/sis story here.

My GOD - I came longer and harder reading this story than I ever have before - honestly it was the longest, hardest and most intense orgasm I've ever had. And I'm head-over-heels in love with this sibling couple. TREMENDOUS story!! SO well written - I litereally LIVED every word while reading it - thus the extreme intensity and length of my orgasm while reading it. OMG... This story left me not only fully satisfied, it left me totally and completely sexually contented. Wow!

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh my "God" that was hot will definitely be reading again

Again another way to tell the same story.

Well written with few errors to mar the story flow. 5 stars.

Bill S.

Thoroughly enjoyed the lead in teasing, but when the serious sex started, the sister seemed to change character and the language did not fit. I, as a guy, never even hinted that my girlfriends were sluts. I never had a girl speak in a dirty language or tone. When we made love, we MADE LOVE. I do like the brother/sister concept, however. Makes me wish I’d had a sister.

Fun, Kawaii, und Romantique!

Love this exchange:

"Well, I think I can make you feel even better, baby sis," I smiled, biting her lip playfully.

"You better not be writing a check you can't cash," she countered.

"Oh I can cash it, sis, it's just whether you can handle the deposit," I smugly retorted.

"Well, my till is wide open," she replied, her tone dripping with sultry seductiveness.

Having been a 'Register Jockey' for a long time, I really like the above!

11/10 Silk Stockings!!!!!

If you had toned down the foot fetishism and stocking fetishism more, I could have given this a 5. But you seemed more focused on those details than on the brother and sister finally admitting their mutual attraction and love. The love story needs to be in the forefront above anything else. 4/5

This was a mixed bag for me. Up to the sex, it was fairly romantic. Once the action starts we are hammerred with "big brother", "little sister" and "slut"

That seemed out of sync with the lead up as both are secretly in love with one another. I have had hot sex and I have had loving sex. With the latter, I have rarely said the word slut.

The setting and concept are good ... What didn't click for me was a lot of the inner dialog, banter and that kind of stuff..... It didn't feel like an 18yo girl and a bit older brother.... I kept being taken out of it .... Feeling liked it was not on character but had been written by someone much older, and kinkier in a chronic-fantasy-eroticism type of way. I didn't feel much of any of the residual naivety, innocent sweetness.... And real life Dynamics of a young brother and sister who had grown up together. The chemical overwhelm of just physical closeness and anticipation without even touching fetishes to viscerally overwhelming that young.... There's a tough of porno in this one that takes me out of it.

this is the best I have read.

Why don't you tell the story of what really happened - it would add so much dimension to your writing. You should start with what really happened in the park.

~🌟~

I do agree with all the positive comments BUT there’s one negative for me. This is Literotica and this is a incest story, everyone who reads this story knows they’re brother and sister. It was starting to annoy me with all the big brother / little sister References it was an overkill for me..They do have names I recall..After saying that I still gave ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I enjoyed your switching the point of view. Come on folks didn't it make the story more interesting to find out early on that the sister had planned everything? i have read so many comments from people who state they do not like a story because of this or that. In this story complaints about you not mentioning if she was using protection or complaints that the brothers cock was too large for his sisters first time. Did they read that this sister really planned this entire thing?? She went so far as to start reading incest stories online and she was wishing for her brother to have a large cock! Every time I see complaints that readers have about the story itself I keep thinking this is the AUTHORS story. When people say they wish this or that had happened then they need to write a few stories using their own ideas. Then see what pops up in the comments to the stories that they write.

I MIGHT AGREE ABOUT THE BIG DICK FROM ONE OF YOUR READERS, AND IT WAS A BIT LARGE TO BREAK HER IN SO IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A NORMAL SIZE THAT MAKES IT MORE ACCEPTABLE.

I have read a lot of your stories but this one was the best yet. I have one addition that might be stated. when there is a breaking in a girl there is a hemin that needed to be broken threw. and this is usually a hurt that the girl feels and your stories sort of forget about it and the pain that she feels from it. to be realistic It should be added.

All these stories start out so well and then just end? Why can’t they continue and see how the relationship develops? Even if it’s just in a few paragraphs to tie the story off.

This story for instance was set up as bot the sister and brother couldn’t date others successfully as they were in love with each other albeit secretly. So 3 days isn’t going to fire that in the slightest. So really the story is half written and hence the 4* rating.

Other than that magnificent.

My long time fantasy date: Christmas in New York with a beautiful woman. Great writing and story. I always love your work. Would love to read a follow-up on these two days!

It's a great story. I like that it wasn't just one of those "sis sees his monster cock and they're off" stories. Nice pace and well thought out.

There were a few mistakes in grammar & spelling. The blow job was not believable if Andrew really had an 8 inch cock. Nothing wrong with a cock between 5 & 6 inches if you are going to write a blow job scene. Also stuffing a monster cock in a virgin pussy? It was an odd choice IMO. The other thing: why the boring repetitive Phantom of the Opera? Why not the fun well written Grease?

This ticks every box! I loved it. The brother sister aspect was played perfectly, and I loved the pantyhose! I would love to read more about Andy and Jayda with more about the pantyhose fetish! Thanks for the fantasy.

I just love this story! Every time I stumble across it again I just smile and have to reread it anyway! It makes me crave and wish I had a sweet sister like that and could live the fairytale :).

Another great story, i've always been a mother and son reader.The rest of the stories never moved me, but you are one of few writers who's stories do. THANKS AGAIN

This a story of love, emotional fulfillment, and sweet surrender. It also has the sweet white hot sexual experience. Beautiful.

The Oldddogg

This was a beautiful story!! I hope it did well in the contest because your writing definitely deserves accalaids!!! Thank you :)

I have to admit that I have read several of your other stories, but this one touched me. I had an older brother that I had a crush on and if it had been possible I would have done the same thing this sister did. Please keep writing!

Great story as always. Your writing is always top notch and keeps me entertained.

I love it. I hope you'll write more stories like this

Thank you for posting this most sexy and romantic tale. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I found most of it to be nothing less than surreal in its magic and beauty. And the final line, "no longer sister and brother but lovers," provided the perfect ending.

I found your story very sexy and very hot. Looking forward to reading your other stories.

It is very rare, and as a matter of principle, that I only award Five (5) Stars to my favorite and most favorite of stories--incestuous romantic, true love stories--when there is an imminent and/or actual pregnancy. Due to the way this story presented the characters, their love and affection, and the pleasure they displayed for the other is very evident as for lovers and for each other, grabbing my soul and turning my softy 'heart-strings' into mush, I had to make an exception to my long-held principle and give, no, award this story a BIG Five Stars

All being said there is no way I could offer my opinion and feelings for this story with a score of anything less than the maximum Five (5) Stars available, even though there is no expressed nor implied discussion of birth protection nor any chance that Jayda is or might be pregnant. The story has real lover's emotions throughout; the characters are so much in love their words just ooze sincerity, warmth and deep love for each other. The writer/author poured her heart into the feelings of Andy and Jayda; the essence and tenor of the story flows like a quiet brook stream and the scenes are very descriptive and real. It is also a story that I can very easily visualize and replace the characters of Andy and Jayda with myself and my daughter.

Fantastic and monumental work of erotic, incestuous art!!

Absolutely HOT

I've read this amazing story several times and have enjoyed it each and every time. Five stars for Andy and Jayda.

Oh my Grob/Gob/Glob/Grod I think my heart just stopped.

I loved this story. Very romantic. Thank you.

I would love to see you expand on this story, very well written and i love how it was turning out.. love to see what happens after new york and they get home. does she go to college and move in with him to save money and they continue, does mom and dad find out. is mom and dad really brother and sister and they keep it all in the family. do they have children, so many avenues to choose from..... thank you

I loved it. It was a great love story, even if they were siblings. I hope that you would consider them living together at college and then acting as husband and wife after they get out of school. That would be the way I would end it and let them start a family after they get out of school...All in all, one of the best I have read in a long time....

Absolutely great story but for me it's not complete. Did she in fact fall pregnant after the first night ??? Condoms / pill not mentioned. Did they tell there parents theirs fellings / love for each other. You left this story wide open really, so please continue on with it. It's such a beautiful story so far, it seems a waste not to finish it. 5 stars from me

I have read a lot of stories here and i hated that they were too long. This one is just enough. Not too long nor short. Actually it's quite long if you'd put it on one side but never have i ever put this away. It keeps me reading. The pacing is not too fast and slow, just enough to love the characters and feel what they feel first then move to the more intimate side. This is yet the best that i have read. I love the cute flirting thing and the sexier thing. I have no more words to express how good (no not good, best) this one is.

me and my little sister were lovers many years ago. this story brought back some great memories.

Seems like many of your stories are great 'could be's' but 'not quite'. I, personally, hate 'cunt', and 'slut' because they are so damn negative and insulting. When I was married, uttering either of these words would have been the most certain way to get dead by a kitchen knife as anything else. Another thing, and you warned the readers in your prologue, is that the He said/ She said thing is completely distracting. This story could have been written much more fully from either POV. Or possibly make it two stories in a two part series. But he needs to tell his story and with more space to flesh it out, and she also needs to be able to expand on why she loves her brother so much and what kind of thoughts went in to giving him her virginity. What was her shopping trip like when buying her dress? Did she masturbate in the dressing room, thinking of her brother slipping it off her shoulders? How about her 4" fuck me heels? Did she dream of him slowly removing them so he could suck on her toes? I don't even want to think about the pantyhose thing. To me, even with the way they enhance and shape a woman's buttocks and legs, they are the most infuriating and frustrating accoutriment in the female clothing arsenal there is. They are in the way. They do not (as the name implies) replace panties on a woman and I'm told (reliably) that they are uncomfortably hot. I'm not a fan of this, though they are written as an attractive young couple discovering their true love for the first time in a situation neither of them could have envisioned.

This is the story that sets the bar for all others on literotica. I loved the two person narrative. Would have simply been great even without the sex at the end. You truly have outdone yourself with this one.

Love this story even more than the first time. It was also interesting to read all the comments. Some readers seemed upset by Andy's teasing, but I saw it as a very loving brother wanting to excite his physically innocent sister to a truly wonderful release when she finally climaxed. She seemed to agree, in the story. I was actually surprised no one mentioned the possibility of pregnancy - or did I miss where she revealed she was on the pill. Also, I agree with tristansparrow and others, that I would like to know more about these siblings: how they handled their inevitable guilt feelings when they returned to their parents, for example - how they kept from revealing their intimacy - if they did. What if they couldn't hide their love for long, and the 'rents saw it. What did it do to the family - rejection or acceptance would be the only real choices. There could be a great series if silkstockinglover chooses to continue. 'Love how he worked his obvious fetish into the story. Cutting open the pantyhose reminded me of when I was in college back in the '50s - when panty raids were the thing. We had one, and one lucky guy came back with a red flannel pair - with a well worn threadbare hole in the crotch. Actually, some other guy had to replace those very quickly, or his girl might have refused to get her butt cold in his back seat anymore. LOL!

What an interesting method of telling a story. I love these little love stories, the buildup and the questioning and the uncertainty. Truly a great story and I hope you feature these to characters again.

FUCK!!!!! Silk Stockings Lover, you have outdone yourself and every other Literotica author with this cock hardener!!!! This has to be, without question, the hottest fucking porn story I have ever read. The detail is so magnificent I can't imagine how fucking lucky the guy you share a bed with has got to be! If you comport yourself even closely to the way this teenage queen did I would love to take a three day trip to New York with you to see how many times I could lose my dick inside your fuckslot!!!! I will have to masturbate at least twice more to get this raging hard-on I'm sporting to go away and I've already cum in my shorts twice. This story is fucking hawt!!!!!!!!

It is a really good story! I didn't mind the point of view changing, it was ok since it was a continuation of events... I dont like it when its done and both are hashing the same event, basically doubling the reading.

My only bitch about the story, and honestly as much as the author has written previously Im kind of surprised to see it here, is the huge lack of using contractions in the dialog. It sounds totally robotic when you read a lot of it. Makes me think of using a voice synth on an old Commodore computer, lol.

Lets see, any fun bits.... Oh,

"Ditto." Lol, really?! Hehe.

"Usually after sex I was already planning my escape, or regretting it.."

Damn, thats pretty fucking sad! Is he so desperate he's fucking what he would consider 1's or 2's? Damn! I've never felt the need for either, something kinda sad about that...

Anyways, thanks again for the great story!

This was a phenomenal story. Please, please write a sequel.

Wow, that was absolutely fantastic and needs to be continued. Maybe sister joins brother at or near his college for her college. That is a truly romantic, loving, and emotion filled story. If I could I would give more than five stars.

This one had my cock hard almost all the way through! Your description of the actual sex act tells me you really know how to fuck yourself, young lady - and if I was a few years younger, I might like to spend a few days holed up with you in some remote hotel fucking each others brains out!

Keep up the hot stories, sweetheart, my cock appreciates them very much!

It quickly became a somewhat mechanical and stilted ping pong game. Add the very repetitious dialogue, and the eroticism disappeared. Sorry, because I really wanted to like this.

just amazing, i'd love to have such a great relationship.

This had me on the edge of my seat. Good work!

Loved the story the way you went back and forth between brother and sister was differnt but I liked it.

Please do some more love stories

I would be intersted in a continuation on this story!

Awesome. I read your "Cocksucking College Sister" and checked out your profile. Was not disappointed. This is a really good story with a really nice blend of romance and perversion and steamy hot sex.

I gather there were a few MINOR spelling variations but I didn't notice them as I found the story so entrancing.

I am constantly amazed by the 'creative' criticisms from names who have absolutely no submissions to back up their claims of expertise.

Bonzer job ma'am.

your stories always have me jerking off all night long....love em

what a very hot story. thank you.

Extremely hot, but left me yearning for more!

I just love this story! It's amazinglly sexy! And I could feel the love!

I myself wasn't close to my sisters , but that doesn't mean that there are brother and sisters out there right now loving each other .I have read alotttttttttt of stories here and have found that the love between a brother and sister is unbreakable ,stronger then anything on this earth. and will last forever . unlike alot of marriages today. I don't see nothing wrong with brother and sister loving each other . our world pushes gay relations which is wronggggggggg in my eyes. just think if we let the world rule us in every form and fashion we all would pretty unhappy and sad all our lives

I have to say that I think all the teasing and innuendo were absolutely necessary to this seduction. Although, I am really not sure who seduced who. She was the aggressor, but he was the perfect lover and a gentleman. The 'lil bro', big bro thing is maybe alittle overused, but what else are they going to say? The writer doesn't want the reader to forget their blood kinship, no matter how beautiful and hot the romance is since the whole story revolves around being brother and sister. I think this story - this romance - could have even stood on its' own as just a romance if the incest had been excluded. Though I am glad it is there. The fetish is a nice touch and not overdone at all which is a trap many writers would fall into. The two sides of the Barbie/Sandy metaphor was really good and could even have played little bigger role in the buildup to the final act. Thank you for a good read on a cold Texas winter evening. I like you better and better as I read more of your work. I'm glad there was as little emphasis on submission as there is, since I personally believe that humiliation or controlling another person is reprehensable and a betrayel of the trust one lover gives to another. It is an act that shouldn't even be fantasized about if one has any love or respect for the other at all as just a human being. I wish it were longer, but I don't really see where there could be more chapters without it becoming rediculous and watering down the romance of the story. Again - Thank You

had me soaking wet just reading it. great job

this story is incredible. One of the very best I have read. EVER. The plotlines developed well incrementally. I could have read several more pages. Keep going. Additions to this would be very cool. How do they continue their relationship? What do they do in NYC in the next 2 days? Do they tell Mom & Dad? Do they keep together long term? (Hope So)

The story is just awesome.. Incest is of course the biggest turn-on in this story, but what is more compelling is the romance between the brother and sister.. it's just awesome..

I hope you write a sequel to this soon..

BUT I have to agree about the "TEASING" scenario. It's just bullshit! NOT gonna happen!!!!

Just a general gripe to ALL the writers on this site:

LOSE the big bro, lil' bro, big sis, lil' sis way of referring to their sister or brother.

In ALL my years of life, I have NEVER heard that in reality.

WHY it has become so common on here, I have NO idea, but for god's sake STOP IT!!!

Just wanted to say I agree whole-heartedly with Andy's slow teasing of his sister and how he took it further the further they went. Also it was nice that you're able to write a love story. All the Dom/sub stuff was getting a bit much for me. Great writing but it's not my thing. So I hope to read more incest/romance from you.

Scale

First, we'll get the tiny negatives out of the way. I agree with the teasing thing a little bit, but I also didn't find it anywhere near as egregious as some other posters are saying. Usually, I am a huge proponent of exiting a story after mulitple typos/grammatical errors. And while I found a decent amount in here, the story was SO captivating, I pushed past them. (I never once thought about turning around after I was hooked.) I also am usually not a fan of switching perspectives here on Lit, but whether it was done well or it was just the story (I'll go with the latter as someone else pointed out, after a while, it was just pretty much the sequential events told from a different POV after page 1 being Andy's and page 2 being Jayda's.), it wasn't disruptive, as I've found it in the past.

Now, the good (great!) stuff. There's virtually nothing about this story that wasn't conconted flawlessly. I know there were disclaimers at the beginning, but if your mostly sub-domme writing (I don't know if you meant to say that those stories are predominant in your past efforts or that style of writing pervades nearly all your stories) aren't like this, I'm glad I was lucky enough to stumble upon this one first. In addition to the wonderful story (that I imagine would work in any setting), I'm a huge fan of NYC getaways, Broadway musicals, and POTO was the first show on Broadway I saw as an adult (really just someone old enough to appreciate where they were, the surrounding gala of a Broadway event, and the historical significance of Phantom). So, it reached me on another level also. I also enjoyed how, while giving a description of Jayda, you stopped short of giving measurements/prescribing how your reader's mind should see her. I see that all too often in stories on here. If you don't have a strong enough imagination to create a vision from the author's words, well, I don't know, but I just don't like being told what to see in my mind's eye. (Although, as another commenter noted, the YAIEP did exactly that as well, so it was sort of a mixed bag.)

Overall, this one of the top three stories I've ever read on this site and the only one I've given multiple reads. I do hope you do these characters (and your readers) the honor of writing at least one more chapter. Even if it's just the rest of their trip with a hint to imagine their future. (That said, please don't let them "get caught by their parents". To me, the incest stories with these big familial events just seem so unlikely, even moreso than two sibilings finding out these feelings for one another.) Most importantly, do what you feel should happen to Andy and Jayda and let the chips fall where they may.

THANK YOU, silkstockingslover, for this wonderful story. Even though your disclaimer at the beginning somewhat scared me off from your other writing as I don't see myself being a fan of sub-domme stories, this was too good not to at least attempt to find another, which I promise, I will do.

I liked the story a lot...... EXCEPT for a brother so hot for his sister he can't stand it, decides he wants to "tease" her before having sex. Don't see it AT ALL! That scenario pops up in a lot of srories around here......they go from geeky virgin nerds about to get laid, to a "teaser" in 10 minutes.

Don't mean to go off on you, but that shit makes no sense & just irritates me.

How about an older sister (4-5 yrs) with beautiful legs & feet & younger brother story. I like those a LOT!

I would love to read a part 2, where maybe the mother/father catches them at it. Keep writing the stories you'll always have a fan in me.

While this is not your usual style, you are superb at it! Absolutely first class writing! Sibling love stories with happy endings...perfection! I concur with a previous comment about extending this story...please...I'm begging at your stocking feet...more of these two lovers!

Omg loved it such wonderful detail and I loved the teasingandplayingandfucking....takes a breath..... I enjoyed every moment =^_^= ignore the people. Write more I will continue reading =^_^=

One could almost settle for the title of this story to be a valid description of the overall effect to the reader. I love incest stories, in particular L-O-V-E love stories between blood relatives, as long as the couple are not of the same gender! Personally there is no genre of reading, literature, romance, etc., that is as heart-warming or as sensual and soul-satisfying as incestual true love. Underneath I'm a softie (though all male) and nothing of entertainment melts my heart like the love between incestual family members!

Many times I have to stop, pinch myself and remember most incest stories are fictional. However, many are written so well it's hard to imagine that the story is really not true. This story is one that is expressed so well, so visually, so sensational it is very difficult to think this story is not true, that it is not actually happending. In fact, I want to will it to be true. In my fantasy it is true!

This story is so positioned, so real in perspective and emotions and feelings, that it mostly certainly should have sequels/several more chapters. The kids, adolescents are at the age, emotionally involved and connected to each other as one, there could be many scenarios for them to live through, such as Jayda starting college where Andrew now attends, they rent an apartment together, go camping, hiking, road trips, a cruise for a few weeks during summer recess, home to their parents a couple times. Jayda graduates, they locate to medium-small town America, settle in as "husband and wife", take a trip through some Caribbean Islands, and after confessing their love to the parents, present their parents with several grandchildren.

Their love is pure, total, dedicated, life-committed, soulful love and should remain pure with no other influences of waywardness!

The "he said, she said" was great and presented their life and times in both perspectives and perceptions; great job of "switching hats" from male to female thinking!

This was a great read; very enjoyable, very emotional, and very sexy. I don't usually like the "He Said, She Said" format or first person writing but both worked magnificently here.

Got bored

This truly was more than just sibling lust. You tell through your words their love for one another. I liked the two different points of view only wishing rhey each dealt deeper with more of their feelings and not just picked up where the other had left off.

but I was somewhat put off by the "He Said, She Said" and the errors. When they had "desert," I immediately thought of the Sahara. "Wander" was used for "wonder" at one point.

Regardless of the errors, your story is head and shoulders above most of the stories posted here. Good luck in the Valentine's Day contest.

Dear Silk,

Your writing has always mesmerized me - I have read all of your stories at least once and today I came on this story. Wow, I love the point of view of the woman and how she feels that you describe with such ease. Your point of views from both male and female angles is very special. I hope you keep up your writing and look forward to your describing the garter belt, thigh highs, etc. as well. Please continue. I will read anything you submit. Any possibility of your writing a hotel mixup and you wind up at the bar waiting while a businessman picks you up and nature takes its course? Bronco Billy

HOPE U KEEP IT UP, THE BEST,PLEASE KEEP ON DOING WHAT U DO,BECAUSE IT IS GREAT,HOPE U HAVE MORE TO ADD TO THIS STORY

Because you chose to write using multiple point of view, I shall comment from the assumption that you have studied or are somewhat educated in writing - therefore my critique may seem harsher than I intend. I apologise in advance.

I was impressed with the opening, where despite starting a laundry list of the girl's virtues you managed to stop before giving measurements and clothing sizes. I was left with a picture of an attractive girl. I remained happy until the Corbett (A.B.C.) bit but being a romantic myself, I'll give you one corbett for the story.

I think you forgot to add in "read porn stories on Literotica.com" instead of just 'online porn'. (that is a joke btw).

Uncertain why she's wearing a thong on top of pantyhose? One or the other is adequate, both would be uncomfortable at best and ridiculous at worst.

The sex is good enough and the 'mom' call is, well, rather typical for the genre and unnecessary but it helped close the story.

As for the "he said, she said" - the story only really pulled it off for the first transition and after that, it was simply an alternating normal/italicised version of sequential events without delving into any particular viewpoint of the ongoing action that could only be described from the male or female viewpoint.

Probably the best of the Vday stories I've read to this point so it gets a five even if I think you could have done better.

So beautiful, I had tears in my eyes!

Please write a follow-up, even one just short and sweet. You must show Jayda and Andy as for ever lovers. This cannot be a one-time thing. You can’t say those magical words, 'I love you,' enough, especially when they're said brother to sister, sister to brother.

You did an excellent job of conveying the deep love behind their passion and made the characters very believable. Trust me, folks, such fairy tales do come true for a very, very select few siblings, and it's beyond bloody wonderful. And a sister like Jayda is what we all need.

Could have done without the profanity, and there are some grammatical bugs. I'd also prefer seeing Andy ejaculate between Jayda's gorgeous breasts (unless we're talking about a mother too old for pregnancy, it just works better that way; shows greater judgement). But overall, it's beautifully Byronic. I'd give you an 'A-minus.'

PLEASE---write a sequel that shows them either moving into a flat to-gether or otherwise able to continue their passion in secret. You owe them that.

But when an author tells of a guy who is about to fuck the girl of his dreams, after having a hardon for the hours prior to the event, it's ridiculous to believe he would be teasing before penetration. Any guy in that position would be nearly out of control with the desire to consummate the relationship. It's that beast that nature gives us guys to ensure the survival of the species. While I realize this is fiction, silly scenarios spoil the flow. I have read this teasing business in several other stories, but just don't find it to be beneficial to an otherwise good story. JMHO.i

Absoletly incredible! I wish this was a true story because every moment of it seems possible! You're an amazing writer :) please continue with this! I beg of you lol... 10 stars out of 5!

Wow the comments are harsh but I have to say I like the story it was a sweet near romance style that is a good break from your more aggressive writing. This story if you ask me shows your dynamics as an author, the submissive stories though erotic do get one dimensional after a while. This one reflects a more idealized story that was worth reading and stroking, great work boss. Wish we could get a sequel.

Hi all,

Thanks for the support but I have got to clarify a couple of things.

One: yes there is the odd error in the lengthy story. That said, I don't think they hinder the story although a couple are humorous errors (which I fix when I learn we somehow missed them); that said, my editor works hard going through my story and I would say does a great job. I believe my stories have less errors than most on the site.

Two: the he said, she said was an accident. It was suppose to be his point if view but as the story twisted and turned it became imperative to the story to hear her thoughts too. At least, I thought so. Although, I can surely understand why some don't like the format.

Three: my editor suggested I used big bother-baby sister too much...but as I read it I couldn't find a better alternative I liked...although I suppose the generic he or she would have sufficed.

In conclusion, I appreciate the comments good, bad and all the in-between, but if it is a grammatical error or two or three, please send me an e-mail so I can fix it. Remember I do this for fun...

Since Andy is three years older (21), I thought he'd have a dusting of chest hair growing between his pecs, maybe a treasure trail growing downward to the pubic bush, maybe hair at the open collar of his dress shirt -- something for Jayda to caress and rake her hands through as he makes out with her.