All Comments on 'A Simple Case of Infidelity Pt. 05'

Lots of dangles left over. Never really got into the characters. Development was twisted on some, stunned on others.

Like Leslie, you failed. But it was a nice try.

I waited till I read all 5 parts before I commented. WOW!!! What a HELL of a story, and then we came to the end. You put almost 20 pages into very, very good work, but the abrupt ending left it anti-climatic. If you had just taken the epilogue, and added a more detailed reunion, you could have had a masterpiece. I gave you a 4, it was that great.

Come on! You left me dewy eyed. I think I like this better each time I read it. Good for Leslie. Good for Francis. Good for you, Carvohi. Offering a good measure of grace in a sometimes harsh and unforgiving world. And a pleasure to read. (I love the tangential anecdotes that fill out the story, giving it depth and color).This is what I turn to literature for. By the way, I saw your name listed on Magical Mystery Tour. Can’t wait!

Let's go over this really quickly, shall we?

She endangers her child via her drug use, resulting in serious injury. She cheats on him. She berates him for getting food for a destitute widow and her child. Her children know about her infidelity. During the time of infidelity, she leaves her child without a ride twice, once in the rain. He finds out about her cheating. He confronts her. She continues. She lies to him and tries to deceive him. She tries to get her children to go along with her in the deception of their father. They agree. They help her try to set him up and catch him seemingly doing something inappropriate. She leaves for Baltimore, abandoning her children for 6 months. During that time, she dates other men. When she returns, his parents accept her back without question and start maneuvering him into a place where he will take her back without once questioning if she will do it again, and destroy their son.

He eventually hunts her down and takes her back.

This story was just short of sucking the big weeny.

For me this is a great story 5 Star. Should be in the romance section. He loved her and despite everything she really did love him.

As the saying goes “Love conquers all”

For a man, he just needs to grow a pair and ignore his pride and ego. They are just destructive.

Finally...an author who actually knows that semicolons exists and uses them. WOW! Samson

I found it to be overly long, Boring with a meandering storyline. I've never felt any attachment to any character. Panther fan.

Yup should have kept my mouth shut till the last chapter. Considering this a learning opportunity. Ace’s 5*

Amen. A great review. I agree 100% with you.

Your writing is good. Your storylines are weak. Specially after the cheating happens. You feel the need to show that the wimpy husband is a good guy and so you make him do all kind of stupidn and unbelievable things for the more stupid reasons.

I enjoy your stories but there is always that spoil the mood. The ending of this story makes no sense at all.

Constantly inconstant characters make for tedious stories.

Not an easy story to tell (or write). Everyone reacts differently to infidelity. Going scorched-earth (or passing judgement because one does not) is cliche. Francis went through a lot of shit and tried treating Leslie fairly, but she let too much time elapse. His parents siding with her seems unusual, but then again... my mom has always treated my wife like a daughter. In some ways they're closer than mom is to my sisters. I can envision scenarios where mom would side with my wife if we split, even if I was entirely in the right. The story resonates with me.

Far from wimping out, what Francis did took courage and wisdom. My own ass is as hard as any of them when it comes to cheating and lying, but cutting off your nose to spite your face has always been a fool's errand.

I had issues with Leslie's cunning and awful attempt to get Francis to disbelieve what he'd seen with his own eyes and her perfidy in enlisting her kids' help in trying to deceive him, but I've certainly seen as much- and worse- in real life. So I do find it quite believable.

It's a terrific story very well told.

I agree with Pencarrow!

My comments and rating apply to ALL 5 parts.

The story MAY be unbelievable and unrealistic, but no more so than what is actually happening in the world today. It has a happy ending with the main character choosing to be happy by accepting what has gone before and building upon it. While this is not explicitly stated, I choose this as the way it will proceed. I should note that I am a hopeless romantic, but I believe that although I can't control what happens, I am totally responsible for how I respond/react.

I find you to be an excellent storyteller please continue.

Great story!

I still liked it and gave it 5.

I don't care how unbelievable the story was, because it's still just a story and although I had a heavy heart at the beginning I had a good feeling right at the end. After all, that's what fiction is all about - the suspense of reality for a short while to bask in a fantasy world, and to end on a happy note is a bonus. Thanks.

You can write a good story when you want to, but this wasn't one of them. Seriously you had him take her back. She sluts around, and he wimps out. All 4 chapters, & he states it's all over, then that wimp out ending. I shoulda just skimmed after all; I still would have been bummed with the ending, but I wouldn't have wasted so much time getting there!

Yip since when does menopause stop a women knowing right from wrong.

She a useless slut and hubby a spineless wimp.

I try to give authors a fair shake and read the stories but I'm wondering is this authors gets a kick out of writing stories that all begin with you thinking it going to be interesting and they all end the same way. (BTW, I'm a woman)

The women cheat...and all have excuses ranging from emotional to hormonal to medical reasons for cheating. The families, communities etc. know the wife cheated but all blame the victim (even his own family and children think he should suck it up and take her back for the betterment of the family...but not for his own peace of mind).

The men in the end are all spineless cuckolds who take back the woman. Every story can't be BTB but what about leaving the man with SOME self respect, like a life well lived (with another) can be its own reward?

I started reading this author in high school; now as a wife and mother I'm seriously disappointed. Can you at least leave some of the men with some semblance of self respect?

I slogged all the way through this tepid tale for that piece of shit ending? What a let down.

enjoyed it. thanks

jtaylor

The story was so god-damned tedious, despite your admonition to read it all, I just couldn't. The "hick"/"hayseed"/"'taint nuthin'" syntax and dialog running continuously, incessantly, without letup, makes the reading experience like walking through mental quicksand.

The character of Francis was certainly enigmatic, sly, slippery, with a not-well-disguised heavy dose of Pride expressed in a way to keep him immobilized in self-righteousness from beginning to end. He seemed to have no emotional connection to anyone except the self-image in his own head. His consistent lack of empathy, I reckon, put him beyond the reach of any relationship in which self-awareness was a requirement.

That was a long way to go for such a "flat" ending. Up front, though, the author did say he writes for his own pleasure, not that of others, so all I know to say is I'll probably pass on carvohi stories from now on.

The guy is on his death bed and his last request is for him to forgive his adulterous wife even though he knows shit all about th situation. Real people don't act likethat. That's pure farce. Just as ridiculous as the Mexican whorehouse BTB stories and the 24 hour cuckold slave stories.

What is the mindset of the writer ?!?!?! What is the point of having the ENTIRE town, including his own parents, turn against the man whose wife cheated ?????

Drowning in molasses while the author nails down every character as a whiner demanding that the husband take back his slut wife. What BS. Lets hear it for adultery because it has to be forgiven per carvohi!

No one supported Francis. The one person who should have put him first every time didn't, repeatedly. She lied to him and manipulated him again and again. And his parents and kids didn't support him either. The affair was all his fault according to her, yet he was expected to buck up, give her a chance, and take her back. And he let everyone take advantage.

I'm sorry but the description of Francis being an Alpha was completely wrong. My guess is that it's just a matter of time before she finds some other stupid excuse to have an affair, because it was all about Leslie.

The reason I don't enjoy this story is that it is that he isn't number one in anyone's life. His children chose Leslie over him. His parents chose Leslie over him. His "second father" boss chose Leslie over him. The town, his church chose Leslie over him. Leslie chose Leslie over him.

I never saw anywhere where he was given any real support, where how he felt was a real concern to anyone.

That's a hell of a way to live. Personally, I am number five in the hierarchy of my household. I am constantly called upon to sacrifice my needs for numbers 1-4. This hurts me especially because number four is her cats.

This was a horrible story!

You know I thought I had it bad. I fee sorry for them. What she did was wrong! The

part that burns me up is her shit father! What a piece of SHIT. Look I know that this is FICTION! But I know that there are turds like him everywhere! I am glad that they got back together! Fantastic story! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

I don't know how you can be so self deluded as to write THIS at the beginning:

"If you think you can skim through this and get something out of it you'll be wasting your time"

You have got to be stoned to think that.

It is the ONLY way to get thru this story is by skimming. And skipping.

I got it all. There was so little of real substance that "getting something" was EASY by skimming and skipping.

In fact out of the 50 pages (at least that is what it felt like), I probably was very lucky in only needing to read about 6. And that really was all that was needed.

I don't know who these idiots are that think it is such a good story, but, there is no way in hell they read it all. If a gun was held to mine, and said you have to read EVERY word, I , would just say, tell my kids I love them and do it in the eye so I don't just end up like a vegetable.

Saint Francis? I think not, sure she strayed, quite evidently under the influence of a manipulative wolf who almost certainly got her on rhyponol. However, if he had taken time to listen to her after the initial denial he would have saved everyone a lot of grief, especially himself.

i felt the ending was rushed, until i realized i had been holding my breath the last two pages. had to re-read. this was great. thank you!

Especially the last page. Well done.

I started to read Pr 5 at first to see if I wanted to go through the whole story but, I did get interested and started from the beginning. I was engrossed right up to the end bur was nightly disappointed with how quick you ended this marvelous story. After all of the drama and details chapter after chapter you closed with a hug and promise - you could have given us a little more to the reconciliation and future love life of a forgiven wife and happy couple. This story begs for a strong ending to a great story.

Very terse ending, felt anticlimactic, a bit of a let down

I can't believe that someone would write a story this long and end it with basically one paragraph. No way will I invest my time in another Carvohi story.

Tough i have to add that taking meds like xanax for instance and being premenopausel is not really bullshit,it can alter someones behaviour drastically

very nice LW story and effort. Eat shit annony you old ugly sad and lonely fag!!

What a crock of SHIT. We know it's fiction, but it still has to be believable.

Nobody would. or could, put up with this...

After my Ex deserted me to be with "Her one true love", her uncle asked me after about three months, "would you ever have her back"?

I had just bought my weekly lottery ticket, and it was a quadruple rollover week, somewhere in the region of £85 million. My reply was "Not if she won the fucking lottery tonight"

Needless to say,nobody ever asked me that question again.

THATS the way to deal with that sort of situation....

1* shit!

I really enjoyed this bur at one point I thought male pride and ego would doom them. Yes she was stupid but then has anyone been really depressed then you will know you are extremely vulnerable. still he eventually got his head out and then it went well. Maybe a bit too long but still an excellent yarn. 5*

Can't think of an alternate take or different ending or sequel that would work better. Nice piece of work.

Just a note . . . you DO seem to write in a touch of racial bias at times. It's not as serious as many here, but there does seem to be just a bit. It distracts (and in my mine detracts a bit) from the stories.

I'm sorry you killed the black snake (I think it was you that wrote that). We have copperheads around the house at times . . . we try and move them away deeper into the woods. I accidentally killed one (it was a baby I was trying to dig out of a hole, and accidentally hit it). I still feel bad about that. Anyway, work on that snake bias too . . . wouldja?

sadly, story is just a long winded and boring diatribe - edit these 5 chapters into 3 pages and it'll be decent.

3*

It's about time. Now one single solitary Lit story in the whole damn archive has a dumb black guy character. Let's expand on that a bit :)) The black man could be constantly bitching and moaning about racial this and racial that. He could be constantly dropping hints how everything and everyone in all of known American History was a like a nightmare from a horror story. How "it's about time" a black man is in the Oval Office, bla bla bla bla bla.

Hey fronlinecaster: Go fuck yourself.

I search for stories just like this one. They are extremely rare. You took us through a maze. The ending was totally unexpected. That is how every story should end. Not syrupy but totally unexpected. I rate this as one of the Top 3 stories throughout Literotica. I am sorry I can only give you 5 Stars. Excellent job.

Well written! I was enthralled! Thank You!

hates iot so it has to be good!!!!

Because this story does not deserve a rating higher than 4

The back and forth between teenage lust toward women and his wife, and incessant hatefulness are too unbalanced the whole story. No redemption via the last few paragraphs either.

It was, as you say terrible and a waste of time. I ask; what made it a waste of time, and why was it terrible. If you don't cite reasons or feelings how will I know know?

If she had figured out Richard was just fucking with her why would she go into a Motel room with him again?

It was a good read but the affair was so cheap she was so shallow.Not once did she show any special love for her husband.

Reconciliation left a bit of a bad taste.

If I could have given the series a negative score, I would have. No sane person lets himself be run into the ground like this series main character.

In regards to the "he'd seen this before", I believe he's indicating where he's seen men attracted to his wife and hanging around her like moths to a flame...

In regards to what she said when he put his hands on her... I suspect some of these "moths" had actually touched her at some point since she'd arrived... and she'd done her best to make it clear to them to"fuck off". So she likely thought he was one of these "moths" and was about to respond as if to one of them... until she realized it was him.

A damn good read even though it was a bit bleak.

I must agree with Birdseye1's comments and questions to the author, as being a fellow Brit I can not appreciate the distance or amazing nature areas in the US.

As for the wife's character she did offer an apology just a series od excuses. No I will be the perfect wife, I want to make it up to you etc, etc.

It would have been a good read to find out what and how the wife was going to resolve the situation. Not even went in to damage limitation control.

The husband's character was a very stubborn one, even so there was no reaching out to from the wife.

Also, what Richard! ?

I enjoyed this.

It seems to me that too many seem to feel more punishment is necessary for the cheater, and that the cheated upon should walk away, and nobody should feel any sympathy for the cheater, who should then live in misery for the rest of their lives realizing what they'd lost, while the cheated upon marries the perfect person who shows up all of a sudden, and so on and so on and scoobie doobie doobie . . .

But love and life often don't work like that . . . ownership tends to, but not love. Love is messy, unfair, sometimes unforgiving, often unrequited, with few rewards and lots and lots of hard work, which the main character's strife kind of epitomized.

Now, if Leslie had been little more than property, and flawless, balanced behavior was expected of her and her kids and him and his parents . . . then yes, she screwed up, everybody should have shunned her, and he should have ridden off with a much more obedient, submissive piece of property who was waiting patiently in line for the previous pet to make a mistake, so she could lay claim to the perfect hero.

Carvohi's stories aren't like that. They often feature this astounding triumph of a messy, often disastrously damaged love in a messy world rather that a nice clean marriage-crime/revenge scenario. That latter type of narrative may sometimes offer a little more instant btb gratification, but long term isn't as satisfying to those of us who realize people, life, and love itself are all seriously flawed . . . and despite that, sometimes, love somehow wins out and we end up living . . . If not happily together ever after . . . at least hopefully together ever after.

Carvohi, if you look at "Dig Two Graves", he didn't take her back. And it seems as if your saying that he doesn't have the same flaws as she did. They both would have insecurities. She put her fears ahead of everything. That's why I don't understand the taking her back. It's another story where the family is on the side of the cheater. Can you imagine your parents going against you? And if they did would they still be part of your circle.

I appreciate all of Carhovi's work. This one wasn't my favorite one, I guess because it was so bleak. I am a Pollyanna type of guy who doesn't like to see people suffer. To me, the husband is just too stubborn and unsympathetic. When his wife described how little contact she was getting and felt ignored, it matched up with how badly he was interacting with everyone around him. Taking a week to return calls, not really caring where his wife had gone for so long (even though he claimed they were "friends"). I began rooting for the poor woman to find someone else and move on. The ending was not cathartic enough for my taste, but acceptable. For me, I always figure the heartache and pain needs a little more relief, but Carhovi is like many writers who figures you should fill in the blanks. I like my blanks filled with a bit more happiness, is all.

In any case, I looked forward to reading the last part, and look forward as always to more Carhovi stories.

I really enjoy your stories, I particularly enjoy the way you show the "Good Guy" coming out OK at the end. Some of your comments had me worried as this story progressed and I hoped you were not going to feel obliged to put in a controversial ending. Being from the UK I liked the way you described the locations in this story and I get the impression from other 'reviewers' that these are real and I really wish I had the resources to visit them myself.

I notice that you sometimes respond to these comments and therefore hope you can answer a couple of questions for me.

When he arrives at the beach at the end he says he sees her sat on a chair with a couple of old men nearby and that he had seen this before - what did you mean by this ?

Also when he walks up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders she turns and says "I thought I told you..." what did you mean by this.

Keep up the good writing, I have already given your latest "The unfaithful wife - Brads Story" 5 stars

Thank you for writing, you have talent. In regards to this story though, I cannot conceive of any possible way that this guy would have not gone postal at some point during this whole progression of events. She never came close to apologizing, instead offering excuse after excuse, which is a completely different thing. No one, not even the wife, acknowledged what he had gone through, the pain. His own parents treated him like crap, he learned his kids helped to set him up and manipulate him, his boss pretty much conspired against him - was there anyone here that was on his side? I mean seriously, she's a drug addict that had a long term affair and the townspeople can only say "she is one of the good ones"? The story stopped being plausible somewhere around chapters 3 and 4. Thanks for writing.

There's an excellent story titled "Dig Two Graves". You should read it. Infidelity creates victims. The obvious victim is the one being cheated on, but the cheater is a victim too. They're often a victim of they're personal denials, fantasies, insecurities, and actions of significant others. No one wins with infidelity. Oh one may recover, but the scars are forever there.

Did you once in the story hear Leslie say this or that was her excuse. Francis mentioned many excuses, but Leslie never tried to excuse her behavior.

I feel like the reconciliation was shoehorned into the story. This was a story that gave her literally every excuse to cheat. She was feeling lonely, ignored, fat, menopausal, she has daddy issues, and she's half crazy. How many excuses can you give someone to justify cheating? I also hated how it seemed like the world was against him. She cheated and somehow she becomes the victim.

How do you enjoy and hate something at the same time? I don't know but that's how I feel about this story.

I just got a psychotic email from an anonymous poster who did not like my comments concerning race. I came back to take a look at what was going on. After reading a lot of the comments, I was impressed by the authors active responses to his critics. Very interesting and entertaining. Was unable to determine who the nut out there was, but I am not concerned. I, like this author stand behind what I write. That is one of the reasons I enjoy his work so much!

One telling remark " I would have given anything to get her back". When Francis thought she could be dead, his true feelings for Leslie were revealed. She was his friend, companion, lover, and the mother of his children - those feelings do not suddenly go away. For better or for worse - this was certainly a "worse" patch

for Leslie.

He spent a lot of bluster to cover his feelings, but made the right choice in the end. One other remark - Part 5 was an unusual ending, but explained a lot about how she had been treated as a child. Carvohi, don't even listen to the negative remarks, let them write something. Oh, I like Mark Twain, too.

The DJ

at the ending. After a good lead in during the previous four chapters and half of this, you suddenly decided to end the story and came out with the fantastic ending. In any good story there has to be some indicators or linkages to later events. You cannot just suddenly introduce new elements to a story

1. The father was a bigamist leading a double life.

2. The mother was a religious nut.

3. The daughter vanishes and gives away her inheritance (what little there was of it) to her half-sister.

4. The husband searches for his wife and takes her back.

A sad ending to a good story - fantastic following the probable.

A great story that fell apart in this poor, poor, poor final chapter. A real disappointment.

I can't believe I wasted so much time to find another wimp ass. Such a shitty ending for a story with so much hate, Guess ya had to be there:-(

I was getting concerned for a while but you pulled it off well, especially since I know Sand Beach very well.

I could write a long reason why I think that but why bother.

Leslie show her true nature by running away again after she ruins Francis' finances with her health care and his relationship with his parents when they take her side. He learns the whole tow likes him better then Leslie show everybody she doesn't give a fuck about any of them. The inheritance is given to strangers. Who gives a fuck that her son may be killed because he can't go to college? How could Fancis do anything but track such a bitch down and hope to spend the rest of his life with her?

Don't do this to your revelations story you have damaged that one enough. Your best chapter is always chapter 1. Your explanations always suck.

I just wasted time getting to the end of this, and I'll never get taken in by you again. Really despicable parents, her's the way they treated her, and his the way they treated him with absolute disloyalty and a ruthless lack of care about their own son's life and well being. And those worthless children and towns people -they can ALL go fuck themselves. Just because Leslie is so pretty, and nice to most, they forgive her anything. ..including cuckolding her faithful husband over and over, then mind -fucking him. AND you have him pine for "her highness" and get back together with that tramp! Yeah, first and last of your stories for me.

What the fuck.

Being from Maryland and familiar with most of the story locations helped keep it interesting during the drawn out narrations. The politically incorrect take on racial politics took chutzpa. I guess I knew your protagonist would be a pushover in the end and reconciliation was inevitable. Good show.

Because we have one. I'm not talking about the usual "real men vs cucks" meme, just about nature. The more people push us to do something, the more likely we are to get stubborn, dig in our heels and do the opposite. Eat broccoli, stop and ask for directions, cut back on fried foods, whatever. An average guy, pushed the way Francis was, would probably have ended up pulling up stakes and moving out of state by the end of Chapter 2.

This was a strange series. It went all over the place. The bottom line is, in the end they are together again. Just before the end, we went from the ridiculous to the sublime. I don't know. Maybe it's me.

That woman is worthless. How he could fall for all of the bullshit she hit him with is astounding. He must walk around with a sign on his back that reads"Kick Me!" Her parents, his parents, and his kids are sorry excuses for human beings. They all know that the slut was fucking someone else and still gang up on him to take her back. He better stop seeing those stupid movies and give her a hard kick in the ass.

Did you want the primary focus of this chapter to be on Francis, Leslie and how the trainwreck of their relationship got resolved, or on racial politics in MD? If it was the former, then you got distracted and ran off the road. If it was the latter, you succeeded. And I'm saying this without knowing the first thing about MD politics.

First, thanks for your service to our country. I too am a veteran, and after so much feminine hysteria from FLC it's nice to hear from a man. FLC has had the knife out for me for a long time; he's a very interesting character.

To be sure Francis and Leslie are total fiction, the use of the reverse racism was a vehicle to further complicate Francis's life. There was no other agenda.

To be frank I was really concerned someone might have castigated me about the use of Brittle Bone Disease. That is a complicated, expensive, long running, and painful malady that can easily be totally crippling and quite often fatal.

I've read numerous stories where authors have used debilitating diseases, quite often leukemia, to further their plots along, and I've never read a critical comment. I do find that disturbing.

On the other hand my character's racial victimization is a commonplace. Regrettably stupid, sick, and mean people like the maniac in Charleston use it as an excuse to do grossly inhumane things.

Charleston's a real tragedy, but as I watch the reaction across the South with regard to the Confederate flag I get the impression the murders might have some redemptive capacity. I believe there is a place for that flag; it should be found in our history books, in our museums, and during Civil War reenactments. Yes, it is a hateful reminder of a dark page in my nation's history. Our Maryland flag is also a Civil War flag, but it was created in 1867 as a gesture of reconciliation among Maryland families, Union and Rebellious, who'd all lost loved ones in that terrible debacle.

Our American Civil War is an example of 'American Exceptionalism'. All other civil wars have ended in the wholesale slaughter of the losers. This never happened here. Only one southern man, the commandant at Andersonville was executed. All the southern generals and their soldiers just went home; no firing squads, to mass executions, no post war butchery. As Grant said at Appomattox,"The war is over now, and we're brothers again." (Loose paraphrase.) That is a kind of proof of our special nature, the thing that draws people here. Heck there's even a place for hysterics like FLC.

So, I didn't like the story much. Fairly well written, but the path was meandering a bit and the point was a bit obscure for my taste. Still, maybe that is better than it being patronizing as if the reader is three and has to have his hand held while he is walked to the point.

More interesting, the comments.

Frontlinecaster seems to have drank the Koolaid and is in full religious fervor. Hey, you mentioned the police slowdown being related to yet another claim of police abuse. I won't say occurrence, because I haven't seen the evidence, and if you think the media is unbiased, you really are crazy. Still, there is a slowdown. Of course, the same thing is happening in LA, New York, Atlanta, Chicago, and just about every other city. They are overworked, underpaid, and grossly under-appreciated. You could tell me I am wrong, just as soon as you get a badge and a gun and go do the job. I already did my time there. I am also a veteran...

You mentioned the racist shooter in Carolina. You didn't mention overall crime statistics which show that minorities are far more likely to be the victims of minorities than the alternative. When a white high school student was attacked and beaten by four black students in Alabama, no one in the media claimed it was a race hate crime. Probably because that doesn't grab attention as much. So, it's obvious there are racists, and just as obvious that ignorance isn't limited by the color of skin or ethnic origin. It's also obvious that what gets the most attention or media coverage has nothing to do with fact or reality.

However, in reading your comments, I picture a man sitting in front of the news shouting "Racist!" as spittle flies from his mouth. That vision then twists into one of a Rottweiler barking furiously, with froth flying from its muzzle. Weird, huh?

This was a fiction. I am pretty sure all authors use some license from absolute reality to craft their story. However, to suggest that bureaucrats do not operate with some personal bias in their jobs is a refusal to accept reality. As for the relative level of power of different people of specific races and ethnic backgrounds, the assumption that a person of a specific background would never do anything harmful, or allow anything harmful to anyone else of that background to occur is wishful thinking.

You assume that because the police of Baltimore did something harmful to a black man, then black people must have no power in Baltimore. That is assuming if they did have power, they would have prevented it, and that is not a safe assumption.

Then again, you'll probably just accuse me of being a racist, also. That way you can ignore the possibility that maybe the world is not as black-and-white absolute as you seem to have crafted it in your mind. I understand, it's a lot simpler when you can color in the boxes to make the picture clear. It isn't accurate, but it is simpler.

What a strange ride. Others have pointed out some of the strangeness associated with Leslie's character and the story. Interesting comments as well. The twists and turns at the end were especially strange and interesting.

Frontlinecaster, you are the rabid racist you accuse everyone else of being! Wow dude! Just chill a little! He wrote a story that had racist characters. They happen everywhere in every nationality. Personally, I didn't particularly like the story myself, as everyone in this poor shmucks life shit on him, too much like reality for my tastes, as I read to escape crap like this. But I guess you don't like the fact that racists come in all colours. Everyone's just trolling you now dude, because you're acting like a racist jackass and they want to see what outlandish crap you'll say next. Lol!

I understand now, carovhi is senile and just rambling incoherently about snakes and eggs and Ted Nugent. He is still an unapologetic racist, but clearly he's just not right in the head. So maybe it's not right to criticize. Instead, just get his computer privileges taken away before he riles up any more anons here. He can keep his confederate flags and nod along at the tv at how happy Charleston made him, just so long as his daughter who proof reads his stories for him steps in and stops him posting any more.

Front Line Caster you sure sound upset. Maybe you should go take a Xanax. Have you tried jogging?

Does your wife use estrogen? Do you know what they do to horses to get your wife's estrogen? Do you eat veal? I'll drink the milk but I just can't eat the veal, those pretty little white faces. I mean the heifers. I feel guilty eating bacon now considering how they treat swine. Do you eat pork? They tell me a pig's as smart as a three year old child.

Damn you know what I did Sunday? I killed a snake, a black snake got under our back porch. Happens every now and then. Ran out of moth balls I suppose. Honest, I killed it because it was a snake, not because it was black. Jeepers we have chickens and now geese. The dang snake would be in there eating the eggs. Sorry I didn't mean we use moth balls to keep snakes away because they're white. They keep mice away too. The moth balls that is. The chicken eggs are brown. Is that a bad thing? I mean killing a black snake to save brown eggs.

Are you a Ted Nugent fan? Know what he said about anybody who served in the military. He said anybody who served was either an imbecile or an idiot. Or did he say moron? Did you serve or did you do the deferment thing? Were you unfit for service? Ted screwed up his body so he would be unfit. Did you do that? I served. Does that mean I made my country better? Did that make me a patriot? Heck, one of my sons is in the National Guard. I'll have to ask him if he's an idiot, imbecile, or moron. He couldn't be a patriot now could he?

....always with their political agenda and enforcing their idea of what is PC and what is not.

You, sir are not PC. Bravo!!

But racist? I think frontlinecaster has that one cornered. In my experience, the people doing most of the screening are the ones that invariably display the most blatant prejudice. Part of the MO is to use charged labels and emotional verbiage to excite opinion against the target and in favor of the inciter. Never mind, they get old and die, just like you and me. Only they go with a load of horseshit on their shoulders for their dishonorable and dishonest behaviors.

Now, as to the story...several odd twists, but I must say it kept me interested to the end. An end that left me a little distraught. After all that, all the anger, hurt, sarcasm, obvious manipulation by just about everyone.....this guy just sucks it up and goes back for more?

Man, in his place, I'd have cut ties with everyone trying to drive me to rejoin the cheater, and moved out west to work in some remote location where my skills and experience would make a difference, and settle into a newly-made life. Late to start over, but my god the co-dependencies in this story were epic!

And I still read every word. Um, please put a little more concerted effort into your editorial work. It got sloppy several time and suffered from a couple of consistent issues. I won't waste time pinpointing, since if you get some help or do the adequate work yourself, it will all come out in the wash anyway.

I am NOT a virgin! We have six kids! Yeah we did it eight times; once to figure out how to do it, then six more times to make the kids, and well yeah, we did it one more time because it was fun.

Obama made me do it. Thanks for your comment.

The more a person like FD45 gets defensive about someone calling out the obvious racism in this story and in this section as a whole, the more clear it is that they know it's true and that I'm hitting too close to the mark.

And Carovhi's not even trying to deny his racism the way he used to, but then given his obvious sexism, his opinions on rape, and just his general attitude, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he's proud to be a confederate flag waving 'good old boy' as though that makes him anything other than a hateful, bigoted, sad old man terrified of change and of a future not run by people like him.

I'll say whatever I want about the readership here, because I've seen enough of what passes for comments here to know what allowing un-moderated, anonymous little trolls to fester has created. This place is just like some mini-reddit or 4chan, a bunch of foul mouthed, racist, sexist, obnoxious little virgins shouting hate speech at each other because it makes them sound 'edgy', and a handful of bitter, lonely old men feeding that hate and that anger because it's the only place they can express those thoughts and feelings any more without being called on it. This country won't get any better until people like that are forced to acknowledge what they are and what is wrong with them, so frankly it probably won't be getting any better of any more functional any time soon.

And Carovhi, the land DC is built on was half from Maryland, half from Virginia. And it was an unihabitable, unfarmable swamp, that's why they gave it up, and why DC was a nigthmare to build. It's also why the surrounding areas became predominantly black, because no one with money or the ability to travel actually wanted to live there, so for a long time the only people who lived in the areas around DC were those too poor to live elsewhere, and the slaves our founding fathers of course while they were fighting for 'liberty', mostly not to have to pay their fair share of taxes.

But, I guess like knowing that the state capitol and all the important government functions are in Annapolis, that would have required a basic amount of research rather than spouting off in ignorance, so I'm not surprised you don't know that.

OK.... You did start off with a very powerful first chapter showing a wife seemingly going against her own moral code AND without any explanation. The revelation that the wife was living a double life and was engaged in a long-term affair with her old boyfriend was very well done.

The problem is that in none of the following chapters had anything to do with explaining what happened and why.

What's the connection to the drug use?

What's the connection to the disturbed parents?

What's the connection between her cheating and lying and fucking other men and none applause

There was/ is far too information the story for anybody to follow through unless you as the AUTHOR ... make those connections.

Your comment in the feedback section that ...."Maybe I needed to leave more clues.." is laughable as it is funny.

DUDE no one saw understood your connections. Reader after reader has asked questions about what the connection is between the wife's drug use or her bad family or or how her college life was connected to this .

CARVOHI dude you are just a shitty writer & you have "issues" when it comes to dealing with reality

I find your story interesting and very different from most of what is on Literotica.

I also thought it was a very inventive story in that you frequently had your characters doing something other than the traditional adultery, break up, find someone else, have sex, and try to get even.

However, a negative is your use of punctuation. It made the story confusing sometimes.

That being said, the most positive thing about it is that the story kept me interested and looking forward to the next installment. And that is what writing fiction is truly about--entertaining and keeping your readers interested. Good job with that. Thanks.

Sugna said it pretty well. Works for me. Cheers!

You misunderstood me when I wrote the meaning of "Portage". It was misspelled in the story. I merely corrected the spelling and at the same time gave meaning to the word. (Which was a story in itself -- sorry) Cheers!

First, the scene where he is passed over in favor of the politically correct potential candidates is, sadly, true to reality, so that's a plus. The scene with the nun was a little... overdone, should I say. Nuns as holier than thou is less true than most people think it is, that was a cliche scene, in other words.

Finally, you dumped a ton of information on us in a VERY short amount of time and kept trying to show that Leslie was a good person through the other deeds she did, she may have been, that DOESN'T excuse her horrific behavior during the affair or lying to her husband. You probably didn't intend for it to sound like you were trying to excuse her by showing us that but that is how it came across.

The visit with the family, the information dump, needed to take place over a lot more pages, this chapter needed to be 2x as long as it is if this is the angle you wanted to take. Because of how short a span it was given to us in, the seeming acceptance of her at the end felt forced.

The good parts of this... the scene where he is passed over, him regaining some of his spine over the course of this, and her reasons for having her affair while commonplace, are realistic, so those are the pluses.

While I like you're writing and your other series, and most of this series, this ending just didn't conclude this particular series in a satisfactory way due to the issues I stated, this caused me to give it the rating I did because it was a mixed bag of good points and rushed points that led to an ending that didn't feel like a natural conclusion to this tale.

I love your writings but the ending was weird . I had to look back to remember all the characters since it was a long time getting the last chapter written.

I gave you a 5, if only for the monumental effort and overall quality of the writing of this tale.

Here it comes:

1. Too long, too wordy and too spread out. Too hard to hold on to details over that period of time.

2. A messy divorce too long drawn out. Highly unlikely that no family members or friends would ally with him and assist him during the horrendous last months of his marriage. For this to occur, he would have to be a sad, loner sob or a bitch.

3. She betrayed her marriage, her husband, her kids when she cheated. When she gave the inheritance money to her half sister - she betrayed them again! Her husband had gone broke taking care of her! Her son had dropped out of college to help his sister, because they were broke from her hospital bills from her beating! Her son is going active during a time of war! Fucking great! This stupid bitch gave that money away! WHY?! There are many ways to betray your loved ones, she was good at it. She still didn't give a fuck about Francis, because he is a bitch.

4. I get why he had to go after her, she is a nut, but she is the mother of his kids and she might just kill herself. What I don't get is why he should saddle himself with this mentally disturbed woman for the rest of his life? He did his time, she continued to shit on the family, he should have gotten her to contact the kids and then called it a day. Instead he is going to take her with him? Why, so he can bitch about it?

5. The race thing? Yeah that is there, the funny thing is that no one has figured out how to deal with it. There is bigotry, and prejudice on both sides. White people can suffer from the effects of institutionalized racism as well. So what? Grow the fuck up and deal with it. If you turn your life over to a cushy government job, you will get whatever they give you. If you don't like it, try busting your ass in the private sector. You choose, but please don't be a bitch about it. This goes for black people too, I am sick of listening to the bitching. There are plenty of black people that have gotten their shit together and make a good living. They aren't crybabies. Crybabies, white or black - suck.

Francis cried a lot throughout this whole story, he will be crying until his dying day. Not because he is a wimp, cuckold that took his spoiled, cheating, whore back - but because he is a bitch.

The story wasn't about Baltimore. Honest! Been to Baltimore; liked the inner harbor.

What really irks me is these guys like Warren Buffet and his billionaire friends sending good jobs to India and China. Look at all the great people we have in W. Va., Ky, who're just languishing. We've got an Interstate system that puts those areas just hours from the megalopolis. Oh sorry FLC, they're almost all white and that's racist.

Maryland is a politically RED state with three BLUE subdivisions which have managed to ruin, oops run things.

Maryland's tragedy came when the state donated the land that became D.C. I've been to DC and sure it's nice, I guess, but we can build monuments anywhere. Sometimes I wonder what if they'd made Philadelphia the nation's capital. Then all that land we call DC; there'd be corn fields and there'd be soy beans, maybe a few cattle, and woods, and deer, and farms. We'd have a clean Potomac, and Front Line Caster could have grown up in Buck County or south Philadelphia, or Trenton, or Newark.

Much of the story was written in excruciating detail, but the ending brought so much new information to light that it really needed a whole chapter of its own. Instead, you rushed it through on 1/3 of page 3 and page 4.

I gave you a 4*.

Good trip, great ending.

Let me start off stating my biases clearly and upfront.

I am more interested in where the author wants to take me then when I have preconceived notions on where the author should go. I wish to see where his/her vision of the world is.

I write. I write for me and anyone who would like to read my stuff (professional term here). I look for real people in the stories I read. I hang around people in the professional mental health professions and have that bias for reality. Let me tell you that there are a lot of pretty non-logical screwy people out there And they look normal for the most part.

I really liked this story. I am a sucker for redemption and people growing. I have to be, otherwise the world would drag me down. I've either seen it or have heard stories of nameless individuals that fucked up royal and made what ever amends and grew from there, as well as the ones that never changed or went further into decay. Some people cannot make it. This story was good as the husband ended up as his own person, made his own choices. He ended up doing what he wanted to do. As a guy, the additional pressure is real, and bullshit and damaging. He was not a cartoon cut-out. He was a guy, a guy that didn't have to be a macho SOB but figured out what he was feeling and how he was changing. I like healthy.

There is another point I'd like to make on the racial thing mentioned in the story. I'm from Chicago. I've worked private sector and public sector jobs. What the author wrote about is real. I've seen it. I have also seen it the other way around. I've seen it in the Hispanic community, I've seen it with Masons, with Jews, with Mormons, with Republicans and with Democrats, with what ever ethnic group there is. I've heard about it in small towns in Tenn,. and Kentucky and Texas where if your family did not go back at least 3 generations, forget it I've seen it both ways with the LGBT groups. It is part of the human condition. It's not right, but is is real and will always be real.