All Comments on 'A Simple Foolproof Plan'

Nothing to like about a woman that talks to her husband the way she does. No wonder we find out she’s just a whore.

Hm, so after they succeeded, everyone else became horrible just to justify what they did? That the weakest point of the story. They both were wrong from the beginning, let them man up to it. Its not like they really cared about their significant others before.

This story goes very deep.

It appears mom cheats first.

Lucas hiding sterility sets up the whole domino effect, that divides the family

YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Yes, there were more than a few "grammatical errors" throughout. But who gives a fuq?!!! Great story as always! Love the characters. Love the sexual attention. Only wish the ending were a little more fleshed out as there was no other news from the rest of the family. Nor a legal divorce to open the way for these two to marry. But overall... still a great read!! Keep up the excellent work!!! 5 stars!!

Great story till the end, when Sierra was thinking with her pussy and not her head. Instead of going home, she should have gone to the cops to file spousal abuse and lying about his infertility. After his perfunctory rough we and no improvement, and then learning he's sterile? Both were adulterers as long as she shut about who the father was. Four years of marriage, she could have gotten a quick no contest divorce with a decent cash settlement. Likewise, Dex could have gotten a divorce and forced a sale of the house based on her adultery, apparently from years of affairs. However, it is what it is.

After all the build up, nothing further about the older brother and his GF or Jax and Marco? Not even their reactions? Jax was major supporting character, so that was unfinished. Also, not getting divorced, either one? Rushed ending. Both are educated, and nothing about how they are supporting themselves? Visas and immigration process?

After wanting kids, plural, she settles for one and done? Still worth a 4.5, and rounding it to a 5.

You guys are right. I totally ducked up the ending of this story. After reading the comment from anonymous, I re-read the whole thing with fresh eyes, and I agree with you... The ending was awful. I need to redo that. In the next few days, I'll pull this story and fix it, and resubmit. I hope all of you will give it a second look and let me know your thoughts. Thank you all again for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it!

“…beat your ass like a runaway slave”

What the ACTUAL fuck. Racism is dick wilting.

“Beat your ass like a runaway salve”

What the actual fuck? Racism is dick wilting.

I'm black, and I don't pretend to speak for all black folks. However, as a black man, I can verify, without question, that that line is in fact something than an angry black woman would indeed say to a black man who she was angry with, while in the privacy of THEIR home. Also, please know that the way black people speak to each other when there are no white people present is totally different from the way we talk when white people ARE present. I write that "code-switching" into my stories. Good for you for being uncomfortable in the presence of racism... That's an excellent impulse, and stay with that. Racism should make one uncomfortable. But just because something makes one uncomfortable, doesn't make it racist. That line wasn't racism... It was stark realism.

So, I read this story last night, & I feel like I have to come to the author's defense. I'll admit, when I read, "beat you like a runaway slave," I was taken aback, but I also really really hoped it was a black author, because there's another part of me (as a black reader) that was deeply familiar with that line. Yes, as the author has commented, I can confirm that this is a line that is heard quite often in black households, albeit, I obviously can't speak to every black household; no one can. I must genuinely say, Mr. Author, I really enjoyed reading a father-daughter incest story of an actual black family. Personally, I haven't read too many sexy stories that center around a black man and black woman and I've read hundreds and hundreds (maybe thousands? Don't know if that's a good admission) of erotic/romantic/smut stories on Literotica, Wattpad, & Inkitt. But, I also don't seek out African American stories. I seek out the content (i.e. father-daughter, professor-student, etc) and just go from there. The only exception being if I specifically want to read a story about a BW/WM hookup. So, this is a long-winded way of saying thank you for the story because I was shocked and happy to read this content starring AA characters. I don't have a problem with the ending, but I definitely can understand the complaints. Usually, if siblings or other side characters are introduced in these types of stories, their storyline is nicely wrapped up. But, again, I was just so admittedly happy about the lead characters finding black love, that it didn't bother me. I also want to comment that lately I just roll my eyes and quickly skim over the "her beautiful white skin" or "gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair," because I'm getting so tired of even erotic escapism shoving that down my throat as the standard of beauty. So, here's an extra kudos Mr. Author for describing the lead's black hair and it's beauty, as well as the father & daughter's beautiful black skin. And also, as for the 1st comment, there's nothing wrong with the way the lead talks to her husband. Some women just aren't born & bred with a 50's, subservient mindset, and contrary to male insecurities, that's perfectly okay. Oh, last comment, I swear: I was very surprised to learn the author was male because those kissing scenes received such detailed attention & they were burning hot!

Thank you, WSM98, for your feedback. Like you, I've read tons of stories here and elsewhere, and upwards of 99%of them feature white characters exclusively. And when there are black characters, they're usually caricatures of Black people: criminals, rapists, uneducated, aggressive, and to a one, they all have inhumanly large genitalia and animal-like sexual appetites. Clearly, some people get off on that, but I'm not one of them. So I decided to write some stories using black characters who are affluent, well-spoken, professionals, and had normal sized genitals and have never been in prison. They all live in really nice houses and they drive really nice cars. My stories are always about loving relationships between family members... My characters never share with others or swap, and my characters don't abuse each other. These fathers who are lucky enough to have sex with their own daughters never refer to them as slut, bitch, whore, or the like. No, they treat them like the most precious, most cherished thing on earth and the love between the characters is pure (this one character does like a good spanking though!). Whenever there is any type of conflict, that is only an impetus for the incest to happen... She'll always run back to Daddy. If you enjoyed this one, then I invite you to read some of my other works. They follow the same vein.

Just so you know, I have reworked the ending to this story, and I like it a lot better. That edited version has been submitted, but for some reason it's simply hasn't shown up. It's been 2 weeks, and I've written to support, but got no answer. If anyone has any ideas, I'm really open to it because I think you'll really like the revised version a lot more.

To me this is a masterpiece (except for the occasional word missing, misspelled, etc.) I liked the way the story line is woven and the erotic descriptions are filled with erotics that add to the quality of the writing.

5*

BJ

Another stupid end...similar pattern for this useless writer.....now he pays the bitch wife a whole lot of money.....the way its written seems like the incestuous pair have no intelligence in how they handle matters!!

Dex was absolutely hilarious. What a unique character.

So, it was good except that Lucas and “mom” got away with their cheating which started before the father and daughter did their incestuous “play”. That took away one point from what would have been a five star review.

unreadable

i had to stop reading because the ghetto language was over the top .

i thought i was reading a rap lyric a times .

one star

The majority of readers and writers here at Literotica all agree that ‘Anonymous’ comments aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. But this last one sort of irked me, so here I am, responding to Anonymous. There are literally thousands of erotic stories on this and many other sites, and the overwhelming majority of them feature blond-haired, blue-eyed, milky-skinned white characters. There are still relatively few stories featuring black characters. But people like to see themselves represented in the media they consume… Hollywood is learning that now, to a large (and profitable) degree. So rather than complain about it, I decided to create some content myself. As I’ve said before, many times when blacks show up in erotica, they are stereotypically awful… uneducated, ignorant, almost animalistic in their sexual appetites, and they all have positively GIGANTIC genitalia. YUCK! So it’s important for me to create characters who represent positive images of black life. Well-spoken, professional, affluent, and attractive in ways that are classically black, not blonde-hair and contact-wearing wanna-be’s.

With that in mind, the characters in this story are decidedly NOT ‘ghetto’. The father, Dex, is a Pharmaceutical Sales Manager, a six-figure position, who paid to take the whole family on a cruise. Not just any cruise, but an inaugural cruise. If you aren’t familiar with cruising (I am), just know that they don’t cut deals on first sailings… he would have paid full price, and that price would have been roughly $20,000 for the four cabins. The narrator, Sierra, got married right out of college, and is a schoolteacher. Her husband and brothers are all professionals… no day-laborers or construction workers here. This family is not, in any way, ‘ghetto’.

But even though that’s true, when black people are surrounded by family, or even just other black peers, how we speak to each other is different than when we are in a mixed setting. It’s more casual; there’s more slang; a lot of ‘g’s’ get cut off words like ‘running,’ and the word ‘ain’t’ will probably make an appearance or two. These folks live in Atlanta, so all of this will be true. So your assessment of it being ‘unreadable ghetto language’ says more about you than it does about my skill as a writer. I don’t mean any insult here, but instead, I can hopefully help you expand your perception.

I loved this story and didn't even notice the "ghetto" languance.

So Mr. Anonymous, maybe you are the problem with your racist way of thinking, not this story.

5 stars for the story and none for Mr, Racist.

Marin and Luke should get together....both traash

His skank wife was not giving him any....he was too generous in the settlement

Excellent story, totally hooked couldnt stop reading had to know the ending. Ignore the other anonymous comments obviously they couldn't write a story maybe a shopping list at best!

Yeah. I prefer a self insert character into a taboo story I cannot actually partake in. (Mom-son stories are a no go usually. Whereas, I don't have a daughter and my sister is pre-pubescent and I'm 25 and a huge fan of boobs.)

Don't mind the story. Would have just passed through, but your Hollywood comment made me cringe. First you are making the assumption that the consumers of Hollywood are the same consumers as Literotica. Second you are assuming that Hollywood's model will continue. I myself have not watched a movie in theaters since I watched black panther then captain marvel and saw "well this is just propaganda with a little bit of plot." I have also ditched Netflix since don't look up and have amassed some 300+ books since then. 800 if we count kindle books.

I've sworn off TV and outside of occasional YouTube consumption am not consuming content I don't consume videos. I would not be shocked if I am among the first of many, because I don't imagine many people want to pay for movies that tell them how dumb, bad, and racist they are for being born.

I'm not even necessarily complaining I just think it's an assumption to act like all black casts will get more than 13% of the country's consumption long term. Personally I think it's cool if there are black stories on here. I'm just not the target demographic. And I'm cool with that. But I would not be shocked if you can expect somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/4 to 1/5 the traffic of a similar story written as well but about white people. (Assuming Literotica is only in America which I know is not true, but I'm just going to assume regularity for the west.)

But I'd imagine this is more of a passion project than some sort of click farm or something.

You should push your racist stories somewhere else.

I loved reading this one! Don't be ashamed of who you are or what you write, negative Anons are really not worth the breath of life... So easy to hide behind anonimity and spew bigotry, hatred and the such!

anal ruined an otherwise solid premise.

You supposedly changed this story yet thebitch wife who was already cheating gets off with mist of the money and house!! The husbsnd is a fucking wimp!!

YOU CHANGED THE STORY TO ACCOMKODATE ASSHOLES AND CUCKS

Marcie was a bitch from page 1 of this story yet this WIMP WRITER allowed her to get away with her shit.

I like all your other stories a lot but this is what bothers me the most in this one, the bitch Marcie!!

Is the wimp writer trying to gulit the husband especially!! Utter bollocks!!

I just put a similar comment at the end of my story, Solomon and Jadzia. But I'll sum it up here.. if a mother is having an affair with a stranger, and the husband and daughter are sleeping together, if this goes to court, the husband will lose. Everything. Period. What part of that don't you understand?

"You're honor, she was having an affair with some guy!"

"Your honor, he is fucking our daughter and got her pregnant!!"

What do you think's going to happen in court after that? What portion of any of the divorce proceeds or his freedom will the husband be able to keep? Even in the world where my stories are set, you get to have sex with your daughter or you get the moral high ground. You absolutely cannot have both. He rightly grabbed his daughter and they got the hell out of dodge. I've reread my own story, and I stand by the ending.

Good read, well done!

Yeah that Lucas guy, got serious issues. Lying like that to your fiancé just to "hit that" and keeping the lie up for years, knowing it's crushing your partner, I mean who does that? Then cheating with some skank. Then at the end all those psychotic threats? Shit, she escaped that one relatively unscathed, all things considered. As for the mother, she seemed like a bit of a horrible person as well though nowhere near as bad as Lucas. No surprise she was cheating before everything else happened.

I really enjoyed this story. It's romantic and loving for the father and daughter, and shows a lot of the complexities that can arise from an F/D relationship, especially when the family find out. Glad they got their happy ending after all that shit that went down and the stuff they've went through (cheating wife, lying husband that strings you along for years, etc).

I just wanted to reach out and say Thank You to everyone who has taken a minute to comment. I appreciate every single one of you!

Essentially a good story although I do have several disparate comments which are in no particular order. You seem to let the prose periodically shift in and out the vernacular of the "stereo typical" street black. Lucas' character is made to devolve from a typical homebody husband into an abject loser/bad guy in order to meet the requirement to portray the daughter as the victim. I especially liked the line that poked a thumb in the eye of "the Bible banging hypocritical Southern Baptists". And finally, I personally find the story line where the main protagonists are madly in love with resultant offspring(s) who live happily-ever-after more than a bit cloying. These are simply my basic observations which do not detract from the basic story.

Why did the husband give into his wife who wanted the house and most of the money after she was cheating before they started a relationship!! Cheating in a marriage is no more holier than an incestuous one

Even if you write a fantasy story that takes place in your universe, it still needs to hold up in the world of your readers. So if the majority of your readers live in our state and know that incest and impregnating one's own daughter is a criminal offense in most states, then your plot doesn't fit. So the divorced husband would have taken revenge on the ex and her father and reported them and the father would have gone to jail for a long time!

The believability of the plot, even in a fantasy story, is important for the effect it has on the reader. Otherwise you can declare your story a fairy tale!