by L.A. Wicker
Don't stop the story there. we have to hear about leona's first time w/ dave, and then maybe how all three friends felt at the wedding. make it a true happy ever after story!! :)
I had Dave go a little wild, then in the end I had him go to her.
I'm a fan of the romance, I know that there needs to be a conflict, but I think you need to continue the stroy. I would like to see what happens with them later in life.
I really loved it and would love to read more about Dave and Leona and Ken and Mandy. Great work
This story was placed in the wrong genre. I know I sound a little critical but the entire time I'm thinking "THIS is romance??" This sounds more like a horrible teen soap opera to me.
Every sex scene is the same. He calls the women "cunts" and how much he is goign to fuck their "cunts" and it's just insulting, not romantic. Yeah he is this big jock but he sounds like an ass, no wonder Leona didn't want to sleep with him.
First off, offensive language, "nigger" really? Was that word even needed? VERY offensive.
Second, WAY too much crying! Dave sounds like a pussy.
Third, too many uses of the word "cunt"
Nice story overall. Rate: B-
did not like the racist use of the word nigger.....very offensive...also too much use of the word cunt....why - did not need shit like this to ruin the story and the hospital scene was too rushed...needed padding out a bit before he asked the question.....
ch1 low level erotic coupling 2 stars. ch2 1 star lesbo story??? at this rate it will take 27 chapters to turn this into a romance.
This is nothing but childish rubbish written by a child who has no fucking idea what ROMANCE is! 1*