All Comments on 'A Smile in the Dark'

That'll do

5 for you

Great start.Please continue story.Maybe mom gets involved.Maybe not.

Good job great story

Wonderful first story. 5-stars.

Good start. Nice build. Well done.

Physical interaction is not the solution, nor will it solve the deeper issues brought out in this writing. There is a greater psychological issue here that will not be solved by this interaction in itself. This family as whole is in need of much counseling. This is not erotica, this is a cry for help that cannot be solved this way. Just a feel good - is temperal and not properly addressed will manifest into even deeper issues that will lead to depression and possibly suicide. This is really a sad story - not erotica.

Believably delicious

FTDS, 4/5

Very good. You will need to write more chapters. Their mom will be ok about their relationship. After all, she saw it coming years before they did. Do not end it here.

Its insanely hard to find a sensual incest story.

No sexual abuse, no cheating, no slutiness, no prudeness.

Wording and story telling was rather solid too.

That was probably too real for some people but that's what made this story stand out for me. You chose a difficult character to build on if you choose to continue the story. You pulled us in deep so we will have high expectations that you keep it that way. Try your hand at slightly less deep. Real shit. Excellent first attempt! 5 stars...

indeed amazing story. it felt pure and emotional

5/5

Really good first story. Let’s see some more like this.

Really good, I'd like to see chapter 2 and some more stories

So, a few problems with this, not the least of which is anatomy lessons. 😕 Quoting:

"I pushed her further down slowly and when I had about a third of my length inside of her she wailed, clearly in pain. I stopped and waited for her cue."

I suppose that you're trying to lead the reader to believe that Jess' hymen ruptured at this point. 🤔 But here comes your reality check: If a girl still has her hymen intact, it is located very near to the entrance of her vagina. Unless you have a stubby 2 inch dick, then you'll be a hell of a lot less than 1/3rd of the way inside when it tears. In most cases a lot of the glans will still be outside when the cherry pops.

But on the flip side, you did an excellent job with Alex's depression and moodiness. Far better than I could have done and I have been there in real life. 💯 percent perfect. 👌

This is first and foremost about love, not lust. You get a perfect score from me in spite of the mistakes. 5/5

This is the only 2 page story I have ever scored as 5. You did a great job with the internal conflict of the MC, but what about his sister? I had the feeling that I read a first chapter to a longer story. You left things sort of up in the air as far as how they will continue the relationship. Will they hide it from their parents? Will they come clean and accept the consequences? What happens from here?

GREAT WHILE IT LASTED...I WISH THERE HAD BEEN MORE. CINCO ESTRELLAS!

5 stars!

It was an excellent start, but you should continue delighting us with this beautiful story.

Great story! Would definitely love more!

While there is so much more to this story, this part of it is quite good.

It's nearly the anniversary of your publishing/ posting date here, if your readers are lucky, you might give us a bit more.

Well done.

(1/30/2024) This was a very emotionally enjoyable read but why only one story? If you wrote this you can do more. Don't waste your talent. Please keep writing.

Write more its awesome