All Comments on 'A Son's Curious Mind Pt. 01'

A mother who knows the meaning of love.

Please write more

segui por favor. muy buena puta la madre, como debe ser

So how old is this son? You need to try again.

I definitely would like to read a sequel to this. Stopping in mid action! How rude!

Her virgin anal. What are you, 12?

Loved it so far waiting for more

Good story. You should get an editor to help you take care of some of the awkward wording and grammatical errors (drop me a note if you would like me provide specific comments on things I see that would improve the readability of the story).

Hope you write some sequels to this.

Great so far. More please.

No stars given until finish this tale.

What 20 year old guy talks like a 7 year old ?

enjoying so far

18 and he does not know biology!?! I really had to NOPE this story quite early.... this is either poorly written or poorly thought out, and bordering on abuse

Can I ask you a question became obnoxious.

Damn .. .

Rubbish...........

two star was written in a style that did not fit too well.

Most often a present tense story style is done using first person perspective this story does not.

Story should have been written in a past tense fashion so that it would actually flow a lot nicer and NOT feel like the reader was being a perpetual creep staring through the window watching them.

Writer I suggest that you work on your style and here is the biggest thing I suggest. This kind of style of writing where son is 20 years old and seems so sheltered that he doesn't know what a human female looks like naked or otherwise is a bad move. Granted such a sheltered life could result because of a rather over bearing parents be it mother or father which could then be perceived as a level of abuse. Equally the present tense style of this story, while the grammatical elements were most likely spot on, a lot of times you should not do a present tense story unless doing a first person view

*I stood there staring at my mom and the thought that was in my head was 'oh my gods she is taking her clothes off. Holy shit I'm going to see my mom naked.' as my cock got harder and harder by the second with the anticipation.*

That is how you probably done this story so that it didn't come across to the reader like they (the reader) was staring through a window watching everything like a creep.

I wish you the best of luck with future stories and hope that this review helps you out. (Also do think out your stories and contemplate the way you want them to flow. What is your start point? What is your end point? What are the pieces that should lead up to the end point? look at it like a sandwich your start and end are the slices of bread so what is the meat, lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup, mustard, and mayo for the rest of it.

good start. keep writing you have a lot of potential

The son is 20 years old and he talks like that? Is he fucking retarded? Two stars.

I absolutely love this. Keep up the amazing work, will read the next part

20 years old, going on 2? Sounds like he has brain damage.

Please keep writing and don't let the critics discourage you. I would like to see what else is in your imagination. This story was hot and you need to write some more chapters.

you can't be serious, he 20 years old, and sounding like some 8-year-old kid or retarded, I stopped reading at this point, it would be a total waste of time going any farther, one star and even that too good for this shit.

"The little hole was extremely small and closed tightly, but none-the-less throbbing, looking like it was longing to be anally penetrated."

The word "anally" is redundant...since we are already referring to her hole.

Anything placed there will be anal by its very definition.

Try to make your dialog a bit more conversational.

One trick is to say the line, aloud,to yourself, and rework it to sound more natural.

Good but too much talk about her ass hole. Why not just have her on the pill and let him fuck her pussy?

Seriously how old is the son? We know the rules need them to be over 18 but how old is the character? 8 maybe. One star.

First: Anal is an adjective, it has to be followed by a noun. "Opening" will work.But better yet, just drop it completely. Most men know what comes out of those things and don't want to put their dick in it. 2nd, if you read a lot of these stories you'll find that "cunt" is rarely used, why? because it's ugly and degrading. Say "pussy" it's hot, and sexy.

I've fucked a lot of women and only one wanted anal sex. I told her to find somebody to do it for her.

Not written by a literate native speaker of the English language obviously.

When this author hits puberty, maybe his writing MIGHT get better.

too wordy......

Usually the best way to not waste time reading a crap story where the authors first language is not English is if the authors username is relevant to anything related to hindi culture. There is an extreme fascination with incest in hindi culture and i have found that allot who like this genre want to give writing a try even though they suck at written English and instead of practicing somewhere else they use Google translate and say that's good enough.

For a woman to suggest verbally to a lover (son) to maje love to her rectum is a kinky fantasy. I read that and thought she ciuld be suggesting oral or penal intercourse. Which one will he do, or both?

The son sounds like he’s 6 years old.