All Comments on 'A star in the Skye Pt. 01'

I normally don't bother pointing this out, but because you actually have potential as a writer, you need to know.

Do. Not. Change. Character. Perspective.

Just don't. Pick up any successful author. They don't do it, unless there is a point to it, like in Game of Thrones. But you are not writing a 7000 page fantasy epic. This is a 3 page short story. One character POV is quite enough. It's frustrating to reorient yourself to a new perspective as a reader. Breaks immersion and disconnects you from a story. 3 pages is barely enough time to relate to a single character, let alone two.

Having said that, you should keep on writing:)

Related to the previous comment, he/She is partially correct. It's not wrong to change POVs but to do so demands a good reason. And you need to do so in such a way as to not interrupt the flow of the story. That takes practice. I was encouraged to see that Anon also wanted you to continue. A good story, one that builds an engaging world is hard to find among a sea of self-absorbed flashes in the pants.

So keep at it, I love both of your world's and want to see them both continued.

So, get to work...;-) Find a writing center if one is nearby, eyes on the page, and constructive criticism are a benefit not to be lightly dismissed.

A fan...