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I couldn’t help the small cry as I came from her words alone. I felt my cock pump it’s load onto both of us, but she just held me through my orgasm, whispering encouraging words to me and pumping my dick. After she had milked every last drop out, she sat back, her eyes now predatory.
“I think you’ll do just fine, kitten.” She said, cupping my cheek. I whimpered, my body vibrating with arousal. A power shift had occurred, with the hunter becoming the prey. I didn’t mind one bit.
Because I was still as hard as a rock.
- COMMENTS
Dreamweaver594over 4 years agoRelated to the previous comment, he/She is partially correct. It's not wrong to change POVs but to do so demands a good reason. And you need to do so in such a way as to not interrupt the flow of the story. That takes practice. I was encouraged to see that Anon also wanted you to continue. A good story, one that builds an engaging world is hard to find among a sea of self-absorbed flashes in the pants.
So keep at it, I love both of your world's and want to see them both continued.
So, get to work...;-) Find a writing center if one is nearby, eyes on the page, and constructive criticism are a benefit not to be lightly dismissed.
A fan...
Anonymousover 4 years agoI normally don't bother pointing this out, but because you actually have potential as a writer, you need to know.
Do. Not. Change. Character. Perspective.
Just don't. Pick up any successful author. They don't do it, unless there is a point to it, like in Game of Thrones. But you are not writing a 7000 page fantasy epic. This is a 3 page short story. One character POV is quite enough. It's frustrating to reorient yourself to a new perspective as a reader. Breaks immersion and disconnects you from a story. 3 pages is barely enough time to relate to a single character, let alone two.
Having said that, you should keep on writing:)
