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"And you shouldn't hate yourself either," my mom adds, suddenly turning from a dragoness to a sugar fairy mother.
"You're only saying that because you don't know what I've done," I enlighten, wondering why everyone is just letting me off the hook with no trouble at all.
"Did you murder someone?" Dad suddenly asks, making me chuckle a little. I can always count on him making the situation more manageable than it is.
"No."
"Then it's not that bad."
"But—"
"Sweetie, don't do this to yourself, okay?" Mom says. "Moping around and blaming yourself isn't the way forward, so please stop worrying about what we'll think of you."
"Really?" I ask, just to be sure.
"Yes, really," Dad confirms with finality.
Again, more rays of sunlight streak through my hovering gloom, and I'm sure I will be able to sleep much more soundly tonight.
"Thank you so much," I say, so much gratitude coating my voice.
"Any time," Mom says.
Breathing an accepting breath, I say, "I love you both."
"We love you too," she answers.
"Bye."
"Bye, Sugarplum," Dad replies.
And with that, the call ends.
For a few moments, I just marvel at how forgiving everyone is to me. I mean, I deceived them for such a long amount of time and for something that wasn't even worth lying about in the end but they don't even mind that much, are instead willing to move on with our lives and just do better in the future. My heart still hurts like a motherfucker but it's now bearable. If this is how I'm going to feel until I'm capable of making peace with myself then I think it's a fair enough punishment.
Slipping back underneath the bedcovers, I shut my eyes, praying for a restful sleep, and this time, my mind agrees.
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