A Stupid, Stupid Woman

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"Not really, except that it's obvious that she needs help. I really have no idea what she is actually wanting. She knew what the consequences of her actions would be, so I have no real desire to give her anything. Still, I don't want her to starve to death. After all, I did have feelings for her once."

"OK. I don't want any real harm to come to her either, but any help we give her will have to be earned. Let's see what she is asking for when she gets cleaned up."

Kelly and Kathy showed up a few minutes later. After they were settles on the patio with drinks, I gave them a warning.

"Just so you are prepared, Darla showed up a little bit ago. She's upstairs showering and changing clothes."

"What the fuck?" Kelly exclaimed.

"She was a real mess when she arrived. Apparently, she has been living in her car for the last several months and hadn't eaten in three days. She was dirty and really smelled bad. She must really be desperate to come here for help." I explained.

"Well, this should be and interesting evening, then." Kathy added.

As I was putting on the steaks, Jill went up to check on Darla. There was a rather evil smirk on Jill's face when she led Darla out onto the patio. Darla's face was almost fire engine red. Apparently, my loving wife ad decided that a bit of humiliation was called for. She had given my ex-wife a denim miniskirt and a very small halter top to wear. Uuuuummm, yeah. That's it. The miniskirt and halter top. NOTHING else -- at all.

"Sorry, but this is all that I had that I am willing to part with right now. If she wants to bring in the rest of her rags, I will throw everything in the washer. Burning most of it would probably be a better idea though. Based on the condition of what she was wearing, I am not real hopeful that it will actually get clean. In fact, I'd be surprised if most of her clothes don't simply dissolve in the washer." Jill can get a little snarky at times. Turning back to Darla, Jill continued. "You should still know where everything is at. Go set the table. You may set a place for yourself as well. We have enough food, so you can eat while we decide what to do with you."

"OK. Thank you. May I have something to drink, please? I haven't had anything to drink since early this morning."

"You may have water. First off, on your empty stomach, even the slightest amount of alcohol would have drastic effects on you. Second, I have no desire to waste expensive wine on someone like you." Jill explained to her.

Dinner was a little awkward. We tried to keep a light conversation going, but the huge elephant in the room was almost overpowering. I will say that everyone did enjoy the food. I'm pretty good with the grill, and Jill is an excellent cook. She even made a wonderful Strawberry Cheesecake for dessert. Darla didn't even wait to be asked. When everyone had finished eating, she jumped up and began clearing the table. She asked us to move into the livingroom while she finished cleaning up. With that, the three ladies picked their seats while I went to the bar and poured drinks. The women had wine, and I had bourbon. This was going to be an interesting discussion.

When Darla finally came into the room, Jill had her bring in one of the dining room chairs to sit in. Jill and I were on the couch, while Kelly and Kathy were sitting in the two recliners. Darla sat demurely in the chair facing us. Her legs were held tightly together -- for obvious reasons. No one had missed that she was not wearing underwear.

"So, why should we give you any help? What is 9t that you are looking for, and what exactly do you expect from me?" I asked.

"Please, Don." She began in a small voice looking at the floor. "I'm desperate. I told you that I've been living in my car since I got thrown out of the apartment. I've tried everything to try and find a job. I even tried selling myself on a street corner. I've been eating out of dumpsters for a month. I bathe late at night by using the water fountains in the park. I've even begged on the sidewalk for spare change. I'm at the end of my rope. I used the last of my change for enough gas to drive here. I'm not even sure if I have enough gas left to get to the end of the driveway. The only thing left is to try and sell my car, but I lost the title when I was evicted. I will do anything. ANYTHING! It doesn't matter anymore. I just....I don't know." She was sobbing by this point. "I know that I don't deserve your help. I can't even ask for anything from you. I have no expectations. I appreciate you allowing me to eat this evening. It's more than what I expected. The only reason that I came here is that I literally have no other options, other than to beg you for anything you are willing to do."

We all sat in silence for a while. Finally, Jill stood up and beckoned me. "You three stay here. I need to discuss this with my husband."

"Well, that was interesting." I said when we sat down on the patio.

"Yes. VERY interesting." My wife relied. I noticed a bit of an evil tilt to her voice, and she had that little smirk again. She was up to something. "So, what are your thoughts, my darling husband?" Yep. She's up to something.

"First off, she is in dire need of help. I don't want to see her come to any serious harm. On the other hand, I really don't like the thought of just giving her stuff with no return. She got here by being stupid, so she needs to pay for whatever she gets. I don't see how we can just turn her away, though. Having eaten tonight, she will probably just be back withing a week in the same predicament."

"My thoughts exactly. Just throwing money and food at the problem won't really make it go away. We need to do something more long-term. Something where she earns her assistance." Jill pondered.

"Yeah, Unfortunately, you heard how her job hunting has gone."

"That's because she hasn't looked in the right place yet." That smirk had just turned into an evil grin. I was beginning to feel like my adoring wife was leading me down the path to an unknown fate.

"Oh, God. I'm sure that I'll regret this, but where do you propose she look?"

"Oh, you silly man. She has already found it. You just don't know it yet." She smugly replied. "It's very simple. We will hire her."

"WHAT????"

"We will hire her. I have always wanted a live-in housekeeper. She can live in one of the spare rooms and be our housekeeper. I'm sure that she's fully capable of cooking, cleaning, and that sort of stuff."

"Let me get this straight. You want my EX-WIFE! To live HERE! With US? Are you out of your fricken mind? You know that she still has a thing for me and will try anything to get me back, right?"

"Of course, Darling. I also know that you love me and will not do anything to jeopardize our marriage. There is also the fact that you are really mad at her and would never take her back. All that makes this even more perfect."

"I have a feeling that I'm really going to regret this, but what exactly is going on in that devious mind of yours right now?"

"Well, do you remember that night when we met for drinks after work when I told you why I was still single?"

"Yes. At least most of it. We ended up getting kind of drunk, and you ended up staying here for the night. It was the night before we first made love."

"Correct. And do you remember me telling you that I am a bit bi-sexual?"

"Of course, although, you haven't acted on it yet." Slowly, it began to dawn on me what her thinking might be, but that was insane.

"I may have left out a tiny little detail about my bi-sexuality that night. I neglected to mention that I am more than just a bit dominant with women. I like to get a bit rough and have them submit to me."

The clouds evaporated, and the sun was suddenly shining bright in my mind. "So, you are thinking about a 'Full-Service' with the emphasis on 'Service' servant?"

"Bingo!"

I definitely needed another drink.

We went back into the livingroom. I fixed another double bourbon on the rocks for me and refilled the wine for the women. Jill told Darla that she could spend the night, and she was to go up to her room so the rest of us could talk. Breakfast would be at 8:00 in the morning and not be late. I got her one of my large tee-shirts to sleep in, and she was told to just put on what she was wearing now in the morning. I got my laptop out of the office as requested, and the four of us moved back out to the patio. We wanted to make sure that Darla didn't overhear our discussion.

"Kathy, we would like you to make up an employment contract. We are going to hire Darla as our housekeeper."

Two stunned, nope, make that completely shocked faces stared back at us.

"Let me give you the details of the duties. I think that you will understand by the time I am done. Oh, and, while it really has no bearing on the actual contract, I should probably mention to you that I am bi-sexual. Yes, Don knows all about it. I explained it to him before we began dating. Now, would you like to make some notes?"

Eventually, Kelly and Kathy recovered from their shock, and we began outlining the employment contract. I'm not exactly sure how legal it was, and Kathy really never confirmed one way or the other. The upshot of it was that we all figure that Darla was so desperate that it would never be challenged. Furthermore, we would be careful to make sure that any actual evidence could be explained away as consensual or, at least, not abusive. It took a few hours, but we got it done. Kathy had gone on-line and downloaded a standard employment contract to modify. That helped, but she then had to type out the addendums listing the job duties and the repercussions for failing in those duties. Let's just say that there was a bit of creative writing in that. Our compensation to Kathy was verbally agreed to and to be 'paid' at a later date. More on that another time. They were looking forward to it.

Saturday morning arrived. Jill and I were already sitting at the kitchen table drinking our coffee when Darla came in. She was right in time. Jill advised her to get a cup of coffee and sit down so we could discuss the situation with her. After getting her coffee, she sat across the table, nervously looking at the papers we had sitting in front of us.

"You should know that we have absolutely no reason to help you in any way. In fact, we already went beyond what we probably should have by feeding you and giving you a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in. The problem here is that we have really no incentive to help you. Anything that we give you will simply prolong the inevitable. Feeding you will last night will only last so long before you are starving again. We refuse to give you enough money to support you for any length of time. There is nothing that we are willing to do that will solve your problem, unless we are well compensated for it. You had your chance and blew it. That being said, we don't want to see you suffer like you have been. We discussed your situation and came up with a possible solution. The decision is yours alone. We will not force this on you, but keep in mind that this is the only option that we are offering. You should also remember that you did say that you were willing to do ANYTHING. Read through these documents and make your decision. I'll make breakfast while you are going through it." Jill explained.

I was watching the expression on Darla's face as she was reading over the documents. I'm pretty sure that the legalese was over her head, but she seemed to be getting the general gist of it. It was kind of amusing to see the shifting emotions cross her face. Perplexed at some of the more vague requirements. Concern at a few points -- especially the consequences for failure, relief at seeing the compensation, concern again when she got to the end of the compensation section. Then, there was a look of horror when the full scope of the position finally dawned on her. It really wasn't a long document. She had finished by the time that Jill was setting the food on the table. Darla looked up at us as she finished reading the documents.

"This is.... You want me to...... But....."

"Oh, so you understand our generous offer." Jill cut in as it was obvious that Darla had temporarily lost the ability to complete a sentence.

"But, But, But...."

"Look. It's your choice. That's our offer of assistance. Take it or leave it. If you don't like it, you are free to leave. I've already washed all your clothes, so if you don't want our help, you may eat breakfast, then get your shit and leave. Just understand that this offer goes away as soon as the front door hits your ass on your way out."

"But I'm not a lesbian!" Darla cried.

"Neither am I." Jill countered. "But I am bi-sexual. Besides, I am not the only person in the house that you will be serving."

Perhaps I should give a brief rundown of the document.

  1. The employee will be required to clean the house, cook meals, do all the laundry, and any other household duties as directed.

  2. The employee shall refer to the employers as Mistress and Master respectively.

  3. The employee shall always show proper respect to visitors and refer to them as Sir or Madam.

  4. The employers will have the sole right to dictate the uniform of the employee at all times. The employee shall wear only what is provided and directed to by the employers.

  5. As the employee's attitude reflects upon the employers, the employee shall present themselves with pride at all times, regardless of the situation.

  6. The employee shall perform any and all tasks assigned by the employers and any guests that have been given the authorization to supervise the employee.

  7. The employee shall be willing to offer ANY services to the employers and guests at all times.

  8. All commands to the employee must be performed instantly and to the best performance that the employee is capable of.

  9. The employee freely gives up the right to privacy and shall submit to full inspection at all times without prior notice.

  10. The employee understands that their appearance is a reflection on the employers. The employee shall work to maintain a pleasing appearance at all times.

  11. The employee understands that the duties will be occasionally strenuous. The employee shall keep fit and in good shape in order to perform with excellence.

  12. As health is of the utmost importance to the employers, the employee shall refrain from sexual intercourse without prior approval by the employers in order to prevent bringing in sexually transmitted diseases into the house. It shall be the employer's sole discretion as to who the employee is to have sexual intercourse with.

  13. As hygiene is important to the employers, the employee shall maintain cleanliness to all areas of their body. The following rules will apply for maintaining hygiene:

    1. The employee shall maintain their pubic area. A 'Landing Strip' pattern will be allowed and must be maintained daily. The employee will have the option of receiving laser hair removal at the employer's expense.

    2. Except for the above, the employee shall maintain a smooth, hairless body except for eyebrows and the head on their head.

    3. Unless directed otherwise, the employee's hair shall be styled and well maintained in an attractive manor.

    4. The employee's vagina shall be cleaned regularly to avoid odors.

    5. The employee shall have daily (or more often as needed) enemas to keep their rectal cavity clean.

    6. All supplies and procedures for the above shall be at the employer's expense.

  14. It will be understood that there will be occasional duties where the employee is not skilled or lack experience. When that occurs, the employee shall diligently practice and train on those skills until they become proficient.

  15. It is understood that the employee may require motivation in performing the tasks assigned. It shall be at the employer's sole discretion as to what method of motivation is required.

  16. It is understood that the employee may occasionally need correction for unsatisfactory behavior or performance. It shall be at the employer's sole discretion as to what form of correction is required.

  17. Employee's rights to correction and motivation:

    1. There will be no permanent injuries to the employee as a result of correction and/or motivation.

    2. Marks left from correction and/or motivation shall fade withing a weeks' time.

    3. Permanent marking (tattoos, piercings, etc.) are at the sole discretion of the employees, except that all markings will be able to be hidden underneath normal street clothes.

    4. Pee play and scat are considered disgusting and are absolutely not allowed.

    5. The employer reserves the option of terminating this agreement for cause if the employee's behavior becomes rebellious or dangerous to the employers or their guests.

  18. Compensation: Compensation for employment under this agreement includes the following:

    1. The employee shall be given room and board. This includes a room to reside in when not performing other duties as instructed by the employers. It is understood that there may be times when the employee may be directed to sleep in other locations inside the house.

    2. All uniforms (and any other articles of clothing required by the employers) will be provided by the employers. All clothing provided under this agreement will remain the position of the employer unless specifically stated in writing otherwise. The employee will not be allowed to take these items if the employee terminates the agreement.

    3. All food necessary shall be provided by the employers. The employee shall have the right to eat regularly and similarly to the employers. It is in the employer's interest that the employee remains healthy and eat quality, nutritious meals. It is understood that protein shall be a large part of the diet of the employee. The employers shall regularly provide a protein supplement to the employee.

    4. The employee understands that no other compensation for employment will be necessary, since the employer will be providing for all of the needs of the employee.

  19. The employee understands that this position requires availability 24-hours a day, every day. With that understanding, the employee shall not take other employment as long as this agreement is in effect.

  20. The employee understands that they are entering into this agreement willingly and voluntarily. All aspect of this agreement are fully understood by both the employee and the employers. The employee and the employers fully consent to all parts of this document. The employee understands that they are free to leave the service of the employer at any time without penalty. If, at any time, the employee wishes to terminate the agreement, the employee may leave the premises with only the belongings that were owned by the employee at the time the agreement was enacted. Should any item owned by the employee at the time of enactment become lost, damaged, or destroyed, the employers shall replace the item with one of equivalent value.

That was pretty much it. Since she could leave at any time without consequences (except for those of her own making) it would be entirely consensual. Were we taking advantage of her predicament? Hell yes, but that was her own doing. She had the option of turning it down. We weren't forcing her to accept.