All Comments on 'A Surprising Morning'

not sure why this story isn't getting higher ratings. well written and erotic. I liked it. 5 *s

Thanks for the feedback, Peebudy! I appreciate it.

This isn't getting 5 star ratings, because it's not saying much. I think it has great potential, but it's not developed enough. A volunteer firefighter doesn't fall for a woman who gets upset, because he breaks plans to save people and fight fires. A woman who dates a fireman and has lunch dates with her family, doesn't behave this way. It's actually quite insulting to the reader to have her be such a static and selfish character. In order to correct this, you must understand that erotica is as emotional as it is physical. The physical stuff you have down great. I love a good shower scene. It needs the emotional development. It would be more believable if she was upset for his safety, or if they argued about how it isn't fair for one half of the couple to place himself in danger like this, and make the other half worry. That would be believable and that would add to the emotional side and make it 5 stars great.

The way it was written, I assumed that maybe she had a fantasy and chose this moment to push him into bringing it to life for her, and that's a great avenue to pursue as well. If you ever consider revising this chapter, please rewrite it so he's not spanking out of anger. It doesn't speak to a whole lot of trust and safety in the relationship, which circles back to the issue of an underdeveloped sense of emotionality in the story. Okay, I think I made that word up, but I think you get what I mean. I'm sorry to write so much, I wouldn't have bothered if I didn't think this story could be great. I will look out for part two.

Okay, Anonymous, I've read your comment and I think I understand most of what you wrote. I admit I'd have been more open to your criticism if you'd made your views known under your username instead of anonymously. That said, I am working on the next chapter and I'll be taking anyone's suggestions into consideration.

I wrote there that the last 3 sentences of your comment are the story of my life.

If i were you i would base my next story on above feedback of yours.

Now about your story:

I gave it a 4+ [(☆☆☆☆+) 4.45/5.0 = 89% = A]

The scenario was well conceived. I liked the fact the husband and wife were nice, tender and gentle with one another after the spanking. Good job, 1smokeeater! (The thing is spanking can be an act of love or abuse.)

Boring crap!

This was real crap! Read like it was written by a ten year old. Sorry I wasted my time.