A Survivor's Story

We like to ride the loop starring out the window at the Chicago river. we board the Brown Line (which goes "counter-clockwise") and ride until it leaves the Loop, next stop Merchandise Mart. At Merchandise Mart we cross over to the other platform and get another Brown Line, which will end up where we started. Which gives us a wonderful view over the Chicago River before and after Merchandise Mart.

Late at night/early morning is the best that window between the bars closing but before rush hour. There is an hour or two of, if played just right, of solitude a train car to ourselves lost in our own world starring out the window at the city we love. we boarded at the Belmont station in the last car and settled in a bench seat by the window. Alissa was dressed in ripped jeans and a T-shirt with no bra on her ample breast wearing pink flip flops on her cute little feet.

She laid her head on my chest and I instinctively stroked her blonde hair softly. We stayed like that for awhile the dark city passing through the train windows. Until finally she lifted her head, looking at me with her soft tired blue eyes "I love you," she said with a smile. A tender moment between lovers on a train at four AM. I was still softly stroking her blonde hair when she leaned in kissing me on my soft lips. Our mouths came together, lips parting, I felt her long tongue twisting, arms rapping around each other in a passionate embrace. The train kept rolling down the brown line, we continued making out as my hand found it's way under her shirt. I cupped her breast rubbing, squeezing, teasing her nipples. Her fingers sliding under my skirt inside my panties through my red pubes caressing my wet pussy.

Her fingers entered me slowly in, then out, my wetness growing with each thrust. I lifted her shirt kissing and sucking her breast flicking the nipple with my long tongue. She continued to finger bang my wet pussy as I fumbled to get her jeans open. Sliding my fingers in to find her panties soaked I parted her pussy lips and entered her sliding three fingers in. The train kept rolling down the brown line we kept fingering, kissing passionately, tongues intertwined. She was moving to meet my fingers our finger banging pace increasing, our hips bucking to meet slick fingers plunging inside us. Our moans filling the empty train car the slurping sound of fingers fucking wet pussies the only sounds. We both screamed coming together with earthquake orgasms shaking our bodies as the train moved down the brown line lost in time.

Collapsing in each others arms exhausted, spent, satisfied as the train came to a stop. Looking up I realize we were at the end of the line Albany Park we had rode through 27 stops. We exited the train car holding hands and we crossed to the other platform. Waiting for the morning train to the back to the lakeshore with men in business suits.

Chapter Eight-Valentines Day

I had a surprise for Alissa on Valentines Day I reserved tickets at Cabaret ZaZou, housed in an extraordinary Belgian Spiegeltent on the 14th floor of The Cambria Hotel. An unrivaled immersive experience where music, comedy, cirque and a four course gourmet meal converge.

The Cambria Hotel in the Chicago Loop - Theatre District offers upscale accommodations and I booked a suite for us with a king size bed for after the show. The service and the show was five stars the talent of the performers was remarkable, the vibes were intimate and the service was very attentive. We were transported into a sophisticated fantasy land concocted to form a brew that is a mix of Wes Anderson, Cirque du Soleil and The Cotton Club.

Entering our hotel suite on the top floor I kissed my gorgeous love Alissa spoke in her low sexy voice, "I love you so much." Kissing me sweetly, then fervently, her tongue dancing in my mouth. Pressing our tight little bodies together rubbing, grinding, full of sexual desire and passion. Undressing each other at a frantic pace I stepped back to stare at Alissa gorgeous body.

Her gorgeous naked body, flowing blonde hair, amble breast, smooth pussy, a heart shaped ass and her small cute feet what a beautiful site. I dropped before her kissing her cute little feet, licking between the toes, Alissa raised her toes to my mouth I sucked each one slowly into my warm mouth.

Kissing up her smooth waxed calves, teasing her luscious thighs, rubbing my face on her smooth vagina. Parting her pussy lips my long tongue licking and tasting her sweet flavor. At home on my knees between her legs her hands in my long red hair the woman I love.

Alissa fell back on the king size bed moaning in pleasure as I continued eating the gorgeous wet cunt. Wiggling up into the bed has I followed her movements, her legs raised and bent, toes curling. her juices covering my face her scent filling my nostrils. Crawling up I kissed her with a sexual passion primal in nature.

Our naked bodies coming together, hands, fingers, legs, feet rubbing each other. Wet pussies grinding together, tongues dancing, hands, fingers, and arms roaming. Alissa's legs wrapped around me fingering each other with beautiful timing and rhythm.

Chapter nine-Sunday mornings

On Sundays we rarely got dressed just laying around on the sofa all day in our panties and tee shirts, making love, taking baths together, painting each others toenails it was heaven. Laying on the sofa facing each other legs stretched out caressing each other. Strumming my old acoustic guitar, her beautiful feet rubbing my bare smooth legs her cute toes painted pink my sexual juices flowing. The other half of me Alissa knows were I'm going she always follows my every lead hitting all the right notes in perfect harmony. Starring at Alissa's beautiful body, her breast, the hard nipples poking at her tee shirt, her smooth waxed legs, her small feet and cute pink toes. I watch her moan as our feet caress each others legs, a wetness growing in my black lace panties, that will not be denied.

Retrieving us some more cold beers I handed her a beer climbing in next to her, snuggling close together, so warm, legs intertwined, I could lay here all day, lost in this magical moment. Kissing her soft lips while holding her beautiful face in my hands our long tongues playing an erotic game. Alissa's sweet tongue feels amazing has I squeeze and caress her wonderful breast. I hit the remote and Jackson Browne's "Stay" fills our ears mixing with Alissa's sweet moans in a magical moving way.

Her hands pushing my panties down I raise my hips to help them on their way. Alissa's fingers playing with my soft wetness lights twinkling from the Chicago skyline through my tenth floor apartment window. Our naked bodies moving together in unison playing each other like instruments. Writhing in pleasure and sexual desire fingers deep inside each other.

Swinging around, to Alissa's beautiful warm wet pussy, straddling her sweet beautiful face, lowering, feeling her long tongue take it's first licks, her nose in my small red bush, sweet sixty-nine. Her scent is intoxicating filling my nostrils, tasting her wet cunt, pussy juices covering my face, grinding into Alissa's sweet mouth. Feeling her hands grab my ass cheeks, this sofa is our love stage, so good together. Muffled moans filling my ears, raising her hips to meet my long tongue.

Grinding into her face, humping her sweet mouth, sucking on her tiny clit. The sounds and smells of our sex mixing with the music playing in the background a wall of sound. This is the practice of Auralism at it's best music and tells the story of our lives. The movie of my life would suck but the soundtrack would kick ass.

Crowd going wild as we play out the last song, dragging it out, hitting the finer notes, striking the cords, in perfect harmony. I love the artist she is and the artist she helps me be, come with me Alissa for the big climax a grand crescendo of sound and fury. Shattering orgasms crashing over us, faces dripping wet, cries and screams in sexual delight, a wall of sound the melody of sex, bodies shaking, toes curling, pure pleasure, I love Alissa. She is a kindred spirit, a lover, a friend, we always make beautiful music together.

I loved her so very much but has time passed she changed slowly becoming controlling and violent. But even then there were wonderful times together to give the complete story is hard because I miss her in ways I can't explain. Alissa resenting my long hours at the law firm, she would be texting me constantly, she would get mad when we were out accusing me of all sorts of crazy things and the strange thing was I blamed my self for her behavior. I came to dread going home, heaven had become a living hell, I couldn't do anything right. The first time she hit me I was frozen with shock why I didn't fight back I don't know. The second time she hit me it seemed natural thinking "She will calm down in a minute." The beatings that followed became more frequent and more intense I came to feel isolated and trapped. I tried covering my bruises with make up but some of my colleges noticed and they set up an intervention of sorts. Offering me help and offering comforting words assuring me I deserved better and was not alone.

Chapter ten-The Spanking

I opened the door to find Alissa standing there in a short black robe, "Like what you see slut," she laughed in an evil way. I said nothing just starring at her knowing she was mad at me again for working late exerting her confidence and control over me

Silently I walked in past her, 'SMACK', she swatted my ass as I walked past her.

"You don't kiss me hello slut?" Alissa questioned sarcastically but it sounded more like an order. I turned leaning forward to kiss her lips but she pushed me back hard. Pointing down I knew where she wanted the kiss. I dropped to my knees opening her robe kissing her smooth pussy lips gently.

"Get your tongue in there slut," Alissa ordered angerly.

Eagerly I obeyed, what was wrong with me, submitting just wanting it over, I licked parting her pussy lips tasting her sweet juices Alissa's moans stirring a strange rage inside me. Alissa's hands fond the back of my head gripping my hair roughly pushing my head into her I licked and sucked on her wet pussy. I wanted to please her so this would stop on my knees servicing Alissa's kinky desires. Her juices covering my face, her hips bucking, her hands on the back of my head grinding her sweet pussy into my face, I strained my tongue to go deeper into her wet cunt, struggling to breath, her scent filling my nostrils.

Then suddenly I was being dragged across the floor by my hair, whimpering and crying from the pain, what was happening. "Lick my ass," Alissa screamed, as she turned still holding a tight grip on my hair. I plunged my face between her ass cheeks. Her scent filling my nostrils, I probed her asshole with my long tongue, licking her brown star before poking into her bowels. Her asshole puckering around my tongue as it swallowed it, I reached up caressing her wet pussy, her moans and squeals filling the room.

"Look at my ass licking slut," Alissa screamed with an evil hiss. Her screams and moans of pleasure so load her body shaking as I watched from my knees tongue in her ass an orgasm rocking her body.

What was wrong with me, submitting to her craziness my own pussy soaking wet longing to be touched. I fingered her wet pussy while working my tongue in her tight asshole. I felt Alissa tremble and shake, hearing her screaming in pleasure. Her control over me seemed complete after months of teasing of abuse I had excepted my role.

"Strip Slut!" Alissa ordered me in a stern voice.

Blindly I obeyed standing and removing my cloths as she watched. Vulnerable and naked I stood before Alissa awaiting instructions. What had happened to me I was graving her control over me.

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological condition that occurs when a victim of abuse identifies and attaches, or bonds, positively with their abuser. This syndrome was originally observed when hostages who were kidnapped not only bonded with their kidnappers, but also fell in love with them. Professionals have expanded the definition of Stockholm syndrome to include any relationship in which victims of abuse develop a strong, loyal attachment to the perpetrators of abuse.

That is one of the hardest things to except, "victim", I don't think of my self as a victim. I think of my self as a bright articulate highly educated, second in my law school graduating class, attorney. I stand up/fight for the victims so how/why did I become a victim of domestic violence and stay in the situation for two years? That question troubles me to this day and that is part of the journey that led me to write on Literotica.

"Hand me your panties," another stern order sending shivers of anticipation through my body.

Sliding them off I handed them to her she took my wet panties to her nose.

"SOAKING WET! I knew it, you enjoy this," Alissa laughed evilly like she owned my very soul a humiliating low moment for me.

"Open your mouth slut," Alissa ordered her tone and manner exciting me in strange ways.

I obeyed opening my mouth as Alissa shoved my own wet panties in my mouth gagging me. Leading me to the bedroom, bending me over the bed, she walked to the closet across the room. Opening a draw and removing something my eyes grew wide at the sight of the large butt plug in her hand. Taking her time walking back to where I was bent over the bed, waving the large butt plug, it was so big, my eyes grew wide transfixed on it. Walking behind me I felt the first drizzle of lube on my tight ass as she smeared it around poking her fingers in and out of my tight ass roughly. I shivered in fear feeling the pressure of the large butt plug pushing on my tight asshole.

I begged and pleaded with her "Please Alissa not that it's so big it will rip me apart."

The pressure continued pressing into my tight asshole as it stretched puckering to accept the large intrusion. The pain was excruciating, inch by inch, she pushed the huge but plug into my tight ass as I felt my ass stretch and engulf it. Uncontrollable tears trickled down my face I felt so full with the large butt plug in my ass. Adjusting to the feeling as my anal nerves adjusted to the pain I was panting and crying as her fingers played with my wet pussy.

Working in and out of me aching pussy hard and deep words do not do justice to the tidal wave of pain and pleasure I was feeling bent over the bed ass full my sweet Alissa fingering my wet pussy roughly. Then her fingers were gone 'Smack' the sound echoing in the room as her hand came down hard on my ass. Pain and pleasure mixing together as the butt plug moved deep inside my tight ass. I was out of control shaking, trembling, crying as Alissa spanked my burning ass I felt ashamed for letting it happen.

When her fingers returned to my soaking wet pussy I exploded in a wild orgasm my muffled screams from a mouth filled with my own panties. So embarrassing a forced orgasm.

Chapter Eleven-Our Last Night Together

On that awful last night after she had pushed me and hit me she forced me dragging by my long red hair into the bedroom. Ripping off my work cloths she bent me over the bed and spanked me on my cute little ass with a leather belt. 'Whack!' 'Whack!' My little body shuttered with each blow my ass erupting in pain trembling with each strike of the belt. Tears running down my face begging, pleading for her to stop. Alissa pulled me off the bed by my long red hair forcing me to my knees before her. "Kiss my feet" I did has instructed kissing her cute feet softly, licking them with my long tongue, she laughed, an evil laugh. calling me a dirty little slut, whore, liar. "Lick my ass slut" I followed instructions my ass still hurting and red from the whipping I had received. What happened to the woman I fell in love with, worst yet what had happen to me to let her treat me this way.

I licked her dirty asshole which smelled unwashed, my nostrils full of her ass smell, she made me probe inside it with my long tongue, laughing loudly, reaching up I stroked her clit hoping an orgasm would stop all this. I had let Alissa control me, given up, something needed to change. After her orgasm shook her body she became a different person holding me softly, cuddling, but the abuse just ran through my brain this is not love I realized what friends had been telling me was true. I hardly slept anymore was scared all the time how did I let this happen to me.

Chapter Twelve-Surviving

How did I become a prisoner to someone else's fears and jealousy in my own home? Gradually over time is the simple answer, it became normal to be berated and beaten followed by love and tenderness. I even came to grave Alissa's cruelty, the humiliation and the pain for my own sexual gratification knowing it would be followed by loving tenderness but that's not the interesting part of the story, the real story begins when I crawled up, found strength, survived, that's when I found out who really loved me and who just loved the idea they had of me.

Alissa intermittent good/bad behavior that created strange trauma bonds between us. Stockholm syndrome is a form of trauma bond, where the victims "wait out" the bad behaviors for the "crumbs" of good behaviors bestowed on them. Alissa tried to isolated me from others. When people are in abusive systems, access to outside input and communication is limited, or even nonexistent. This way, only the perpetrators' input is allowed, It is a form of "uber-propaganda,".

I left while she still slept hurrying to my downtown office where my colleagues were waiting to help me file a police report and then to court for an emergency restraining order which was served to her later that day. I stayed in a hotel downtown that night to make sure she was out. Returning home to my apartment the next day after work. I was free but the recovery would be a long one, the abuse I had suffered, the guilt for letting it happen would linger with me. I am a survivor and would find comfort in others like me in the months and years to come through support groups and counseling.

I started playing music and singing again, I had some risky sexual adventures, trying to reclaim my inner strength. I still have trouble sleeping sometimes a form of PTSD. I started writing erotic stories late at night working out my strange feelings I hope you have enjoyed reading my stories as much as I enjoyed writing them while one handed typing in the darkness of the night. Many of my works take twist from romance, love, and fun to a shocking horror mirroring my life. Join me on a journey into the ancient primal dance of love, sex, playfulness, and fun. Exploring my body writhing in pleasure as my fingers explore and disappear inside my soaking wet pussy. My juices flowing, eyes transfixed on the computer screen pouring my heart out, waves of pleasure crashing over me. My fingers finding my breast pinching my delicate nipples caressing, squeezing, teasing, them. Bringing one of my breast to my mouth I tease with it flicking my long tongue over my erect nipple. Taking my time I let my fingers slide down slowly over my flat stomach through my soft red pubes to my waiting wet pussy.

Rubbing softly, caressing, making love to myself, letting my fingers play with with my clit. Inserting one then two fingers inside me slowly moving in and out my wetness growing. My juices making a slurping sound as my fingers thrust in then out. I am skilled at the art of fucking myself through years and years of practice. Tingling all over, legs spread and up, knees bent, typing away, writing on my journey of exploration. Moaning as my now wet fingers plunge into me. My body dancing with pleasure, a magnificent feeling, my scent filling the room. Rubbing my swollen clit the first waves of sheer pleasure encompass me.