All Comments on 'A Tale of Endless Winter'
by kris_12
- 7 Comments
Anonymousover 9 years agoYour style would make o Henry blush, but you have him down pat. Good, sexy prose.6
Anonymousover 9 years agoThis is such a mess I don't know where to start. "...sounded like black stilettos." Black is a color and colors don't make noise. So much doesn't make sense (WHAT aroma was lingering on his clothes?) words are wrong ("Shuttering" should be "Shattering"), you keep changing the POV from his to hers, often in the same paragraph, and on and on and on...
Anonymousover 9 years agoThis forum is not a published book! It is written by people who have an idea for a story that most of us find intriguing. So if spelling, grammar and punctuation are what turns you on go to a site fun by literature professors. We should grade these only on content not your idea of perfection.
kris_12over 9 years agoAuthorI am very sorry you found this a mess. No, english is not my first language as you could tell. Let me explain some of my writing. The sound is supposed to be this way, it is a kind of poetic license, if you will. I was speaking as a narrator for the whole story, did you find the descriptions of the people confusing as to who was speaking? You are right about the aroma, which I did not specify was from the wine and I am sorry about other mistakes, I will try harder.
jott50over 9 years agoquite frankly im soooo tired of these people that pick apart a story for grammar, punctuation, or spelling. i read for the enjoyment of the content, and as a reader, i find many errors in even accomplished authors. but these authors are all human. big surprise here, humans are not perfect. as a short story , i liked this piece. my only comment was the shortness or hurried nature of this piece. dont stop writing kris as you will only get better.
jaycoxover 9 years agoKristen to hell with with the grammar police. This is a powerful lustful tale. keep writing.
jaycoxover 9 years agoAnonymous it's easy to spear people behind a screen. What have you written may I ask? Anyone with any ability to comprehend the written word would know what aroma lingered from his clothes was the wine. As to shifting POV I guess Faulkner and Joyce can't make the grade either? Can thay?
