All Comments on 'A Tale of Two Paramours Ch. 15'

... hated the meltdown at the end. You have done this before - ended some rather hot scenes between Mark and Jessi with a fight. That kills the mood for the reader. Put the fight in the next chapter. That way the reader can enjoy his/her vicarious thrill from the character's sex. Ending chapters with discord may work for regular fiction, but it negates the purpose of a good piece of erotica - arousal.

There's a real tension in what you're doing between the eroticism and the ongoing story.

I appreciate all the comments I have received of the course of the last several months.

You both raise an interesting issue. I considered ending Chapter 15 at the point that all three participants (Jessi, Amara and Mark) had just experienced their final climaxes, but I thought it would worked better for the audience to feel that moment of pleasure unravel with Jessi's loss of control. I did not think the impact of that would be the same if it were stretched across chapter boundaries. However, what I understand from your comments is that I negatively impacted the erotic aspect of the story. Perhaps I did not adequately consider that aspect.

Seems really abrupt and out of character for the girl Jessi, who seems to be pretty open minded up to that point. But, this is the first chapter I read. Maybe she has been like this before and it just doesn't work as a standalone story. Oh, and I am not sure why you had to make the other girl in high school even though she is 18. Why not make her another college student. That whole thing might turn some off.

I see Christmas came early to fans of this series: two chapters in two days. Thanks for the surprise.

I also can see why some didn't care for the ending. I would respectfully disagree for two reasons. One, the ending as it is serves as a much more enticing cliffhanger that would bring me back for the next installment to see how this issue is resolved. If it ends after the three climaxes, there's not much of a hook to entice me to return. And two, I'm okay with the ending because it followed a consistent theme of the entire series: don't bypass emotional realism to focus solely on the sex. If it did, I would still enjoy the writing, but not nearly as much because I wouldn't care about what happens to these characters. But when Jessika and especially Jessi could end the relationship at any time, suspense is maintained (at least for me).

I imagine everyone who has read the whole series has their preference about who they want Mark to end up with. Please don't end it anytime soon. Many thanks again for writing (and for submitting two in two days) and keep it up.

Respectfully I disagree with comment regarding the end of this chapter being a mood spoiler. I expected him to be caught in the moment and wanting to go further with Mara. I also suspected that he would likely succeed as Jessi was unlikely to deny Mark what she thought would be his fantasy, despite being against her wishes, since she is madly in love with him. Deep down though she probably hoped he would not go down that path should the opportunity present itself. Maybe if he took the time to think about it he would have relented, but unlikely if one is caught up in the moment.

While content is certainly erotic, this is the first Literotica story, in a very long while, that has kept me riveted and immersed in the development of the story. This story, at least for me, has transgressed from being mere erotica to a suspenseful, moving and erotic novel.

This story is far from over since there are way too many unresolved issues. I'm truly divided about story's ultimate direction though, particularly as it relates to Jessika. I can see him end up with both women, as a trial at first, and possibly as an end result. Maybe that is just a shovanistic wish but it would also be possible as both women are in love with him as much as he is with them.

For someone that's suppose to be older and wiser, he kind of comes across as someone that can't make decisions and thinks with his dick all the time. I like Jessika, but I don't really care for how Mark is turning out.

would love to see chapt 16 - and maybe a solo effort with Amara?