All Comments on 'A Tale of Two Sisters Ch. 03'

Confusion or confusawimpism?

He should dump that family and run. One innocent and five "6-packs with the holder thingy missing".

Good tale so far.

And an interesting series. I mostly have a hard time understanding your male characters' reactions and attitudes, they are just incomprehensibly wimpy or they are confused where no confusion should exist - but this Gary guy and his odd (IMHO) reactions are pretty well explained by his upbringing and experiences.

Write on, I'll try to keep up.

Only one note on an otherwise exceptional story... Why would an RN become a PA? It would be smarter and easier to become a Nurse Practitioner. Pay scale is almost identical with minor variations depending on the state. While Doctors generally prefer PA's, hospitals and clinics prefer RNP's. It would be easier to make the move from RN to RNP and the job of PA ties you to a specific doctor who has to oversee your work while an RNP does not require a doctor's supervision. An RNP can actually, in most states, open up a practice on their own. Drugstores that have in store clinics use RNP's since they do not have to submit records of their actions for a doctor's review. IF he didn't already have his RN license then becoming a PA would be the easier route, but that isn't the case in this story. I only know all of this because my daughter made the move from RN to RNP while a co-worker's daughter, who wasn't an RN went the PA route. However his other daughter was an MD and the PA daughter was going to work for her sister.

exceptional story

time to grow up, put on the big boy pants, and get on with life

Not as good as your usual story. There doesn't seem to have much continuity to it. BUT. Your stories have always been good so, despite this one not holding my attention, I am going to continue to stick it out to the end.

Both sisters have too many mental issues. He would be better off clear of that whole family. Good story though

I am starting to get tired of Mr. Clueless. He doesn't know what he married? He doesn't know that he missed the other sister? He doesn't realize how fucked up the whole family is and that he should run away from them as fast as possible? Nothing good can come from a family cursed with infidelity, deceit and betrayal. From nana on down, you have a cheating slut, a cuckold husband, a bastard, a neglected daughter with a bastard daughter, and lost unwanted daughter , and he is the new cuckold! WTF! Can't he see how fucked up this is? Run! There are a lot of decent people out there and plenty of better women to give your love. Most of these stories have a nightmare quality to them. People go through things that are bizarre and irrational. Why? Isn't reality hard enough?

I like the contrast between Gary's strong intuitive understanding of things and his much slower intellectual processing of reasons and details. Yes, this family is way messed up and far too emotionally entangled, and he should leave. But being a hopeless romantic, I'm glad he is staying.

I and my spouse had a long tangled discussion of what Virna's responses to the coat gifts meant (from a male and female perspective). Thank you for provoking such interesting conversations.

As for the PA vs NP question - it doesn't make a difference what your Bachelor's degree is (even if it's an RN) the schooling is similar. And in most states there are similar physician supervision requirements for either. The reason I would suggest RN to NP is because I prefer nursing to medicine. RNs & NPs both work in nursing. MD, DO and PA all work in medicine. Lots of overlap - but very different philosophy and orientation.

yes more chapters

This story is not just all over the place but makes no sense. No valid reason has been given for Gary to maintain any sort of relationship with such a fucked up family. Him chasing a woman he admits he doesn't really love and who has done nothing but show him contempt is just mind boggling.

Story sucks! Cheers!

Forget semi-colons, they are, for the most part, useless. Use commas, use them to break up pauses, but not indiscriminately. Your story-telling is fine, but get an editor.8acc

For next chapter! I thought this was a little all over the place.

Then i read it again.. Its actually very clever writing.

if have left the story at 2 chapters it would have obtain a 5 star for the two chapters. now the guy is just a doormat, he will be used left and right by that family.

Now let's see if the author can come up with a convincing one. Personally I would not enjoy getting tangled with this family.

I think Virna is the one.. She has a few problems holding her back

But when she deals with it it eill sort itself out.. Love is powerful

Semi-colons are another tool in your armory. Don't stop using them.because some don't 'get' them.

The story? You've a long road ahead of you. I don't find a sympathetic character in thelot.

Good luck!

Great story and good writing keep it up!

I have my hopes how this is gonna go but maybe not. There are other options

Looks like Marty is getting ready to make a move to the smarter sister who also has issues. Yet she is in love with him but is holding back.? Why because is she afraid of hurting Marty . I cannot wait for the next chapter to see how you have this story playing out. Why Gary hung around for more pain makes this a tough sell.

I think He's hanging around for Virna he just doesnt know what he wants yet. Niether does she it seems.

Will she go for a safe secure future for he and daughter with the doc or llow her hesrt?

I was enjoying this series but I can't find sympathy for the rascist undertones used by Gary. Couldnt his own interest in virna be enough of a reason for his pursuit of the other sister? or even the dr. being an asshole? i got the bit about his "black hands, lips, etc." and honestly stopped empathizing with gary...

I think the author, Gary and definitely Virna have all lost the fucking plot. I'll never understand why guys would want to be around someone like Verna. She is fucking toxic and to be honest that whole family is full of crazy people with off the wall thoughts and rationalizations about things. Staying close with that family would seem akin to slowly killing yourself with a thousand tiny cuts. Bottom line is those people pretty shitty in a lot of different ways and therefore by extension Gary sucks for staying or wanting to stay around them. That crazy bitch Verna is actually treating him like shit after what has happened to him because he won't support the betrayer. He makes concessions and gives in to Verna at every turn but yet she is still mad at him and treats him like ship. Truly, how many people here would stick around a family like that? Why does he feel like he ows Dom anything? He just met him and the guy brow beat him in the conversation where Gary couldn't get a word in. Again, I ask how many people would actually want to put up with a crazy family like that!?!?

I really like your style of writing. You tell the readers what to expect in terms of when a story is complete. Also I like your comments on what your plans are for the future. This is why I have read just about everything you've written.

I will comment on the story content after I have read the whole thing.

BILLY LINES

Nothing totally derails my enjoyment of a story more than casual racism.

Where was the racism?

There's actually more racisim in the stories of negreos fucking white women with their supposedly big black cocks

The Virna character is very difficult to understand. It is one thing to avoid the guy because you don't feel it is appropriate to have feelings for him given the circumstances. But to treat him like crap is very hard to believe. Five stars. Let's hope the concluding chapter helps me make better sense of Virna.

I've followed your comments over the last two days. You've been leaving a trail over several stories I've written. You've said the same thing about everything you've read so far. Instead of plowing through the LW stuff why don't you try 'A Fool Stumbles into Love' or 'The Lawyer and the Killer'. You might find them more to your liking. If not then you should shift over to angiequesophie; she's another writer altogether. Try her story 'Love is a Silk Blindfold'. I may have misspelled that last author's name, but you can still find her story if you search the alphabetical listing.

Excellent prelim to the finale. Will everything work out? Fuck if I know. Great tale. I'll continue...

Again Five Stars

He needs to commit - the hardest thing to do for a man fresh out of a betrayal.

It is easy enough sometimes but sometimes impossible - but the story is here for a reason I doubt it is to see him walk away and everyone suffer for it - so - let's get to it!!!

Great story, except when Gary was listing the things he had that the doctor didn't he forgot the biggest. Virna's love and self appointed protector of her little sister. That would also make her feel responsible for Marty's mental well being. When it comes to Marty and her fragile state of mind Gary is a complication whereas Morgan is not. Tough choice, so many variables and in my opinion wealth being one of the least important. Thank you

Why does Virna base her rejection of Gary on his planned leaving? Couldn’t she just leave with him?

RE: The Christmas gathering – why is Virna still putting on the bitch act, now that everyone knows it’s just an act?

Why the fuck doesn’t Dominick talk to his sister and tell her to lighten up on Gary? He’s only trying to help!

He should just dump the whole damn family, why put himself through all this grief? He owes NOTHING to Dominick!

"Why are you so nosy? There's no reason for you to be snooping into my life."

Um, Dominick came to HIM!

"I don't need this shit Virna. Dominick asked me to do him a favor and I said I'd try. Well I tried. ………..Like I said I'm sick of the whole fucking mess," I turned to go.

FINALLY, he grows a set!

I’m sorry, but making the doctor black is an unnecessary complication. The main issues would be the same if he were white. I’m glad to see that he realizes this also.

I have no problem with them, they have their uses, but they CAN be mis-used.

I can't remember if it was this chapter or not, but somewhere in this story there was a sentence that include an aside. This SHOULD have been separated from the rest of the sentence with commas, but in place of the leading comma there was a semi-colon, which is incorrect.

Maximum warp! Run like hell, everyone here is crazy!

Any yet, I can't look away from the slow-motion train-wreck, so there's definitely something compelling in there. Thanks.

2 or 3 people told him he should run from this family. I agree with them, this guy has to get away from these people as fast as he could. The ex-wife, the sister, the parents and even the brother are all strange. He doesn't owe anything more to this family. I think I can see where you are trying to take this story, but this chapter feels like a train wreck about to happen. The only redeemable character is the little girl. Oh Well, let me get to the next section.

Realistic characters

The racism turned me off also... You think that because you're hesitant to use the word nigger... You're some bastion of free thinking... Look in the mirror dude... You're a bigot... It comes out in every word you write about blacks...

As to the story... Your characters aren't consistent to the personalities you originaly build for them... They... And by extension your story are all over the place... You have to build a rapport with your protagonist and your readers... The racism broke that with a segment of us... His bumbling and cluelessness broke it with others...

So now you've got a story that your readers no longer care about your lead character... And flat out don't like the others... And an undertone of racism that makes some of us not care for you personally...

-jaye-

Sorry about being Anonymous, but I strongly object to the racist slander stated in the privious comment. Your work is not offensive, quite the opposite in fact. I think you hit the nail on the head with your explanation in regards too todays expectations & values. One can only hope, that more of us would follow your example & question the inherited values impressed upon us all by circumstance.

Thanks for lifting my horizons.

Virna treats him like shit for two years lying about how she feels, lies to him for months about his sister cheating, lies to him by flaunting other men in his face when she wants to be with him

Virna is a bigger liar than her sister, how is Gary, who "needs trust" supposed to trust someone who has been lying to his face from the moment they met?

Virna is a toxic bitch. He should far away from this fucked up family.

The whole family are psychopaths. Virna is every bit the spiteful, hateful bitch that her sister is. There is something seriously messed up about both of them. He must have rocks in his head to even speak to any of them. Run away, run very fast, and as far as you can!!

The introspection is well done. The conflicted characters are believable

I have a real problem with the Hopkins doc. I would just leave Virna alone since she obviously has "Jungle Fever"... She can NEVER go back from Black!!!

No. I take racist remarks seriously. If you are planning getting them together, I'm not buying it. She's not worth.

You made burns a coal-burner .

Ruined what would have been a good story .

One star

Lmao at marrying a single mother. Virna in this story is exactly what you get, a bitter and angry woman willing to do anything to find some poor sap to be a father to her bastard child.

Why saddle yourself with that kind of baggage if you have no kids yourself? Any man who does this deserves everything that comes to him.

One microsecond after breaking up with his wife he's already courting her sister. Talk about being out of line!

Gary has a thing for fucked up women. Marty is a cheating slut and Virna is just a bitch all around. Virna is being delusional is she thinks she as any kind of a future with the doctor He's just putting the full court press on to get into her pants. No way does he has any plans of marrying Virna and raising her out of wedlock daughter. He's just in to her for some good ole sport fucking then he'll move on to someone else once he's gotten everything he wants. Virna will certainly get dumped after while by the good doctor and she'll be lucky if she doesn't end pregnant. Apparently, Virna never learned anything from her first baby daddy.

⭐⭐👎🏿 Wow, just when I thought this pitifull collection of letters, spaces, and punctuation marks couldn't get worse. The scribbler of these words has to rely on racism to continue a pathetic attempt at a story. The character Morgan could have been written as a white male with no effect on the storyline. Instead, the author relies on "white fear" to move this putifull offering along. The stereotype Black Male attitudes described come from bad porn, tv and cinema. Reality check: Just like the majority of whites don't date Blacks; the overwhelming majority of Blacks ARE NOT attracted to whites. WHITE WOMEN ARE NOT A PRIZE. THEY AREN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE, NOR HIGH MAINTENANCE. ( I dare you to post this. Racist asshole!)

Gary is a classic betabux and a simp.

No wonder Marty cheated on him and why Virna the single mom zeroed in on him.

There's depth here, and it's unique in the interplay of the characters. In romance, it'll work. In RL, she'd go for the doctor and his money, most likely. And maybe it'd work, maybe not.

This part slowed down way too much for me. Virna wants her cardiologist and her behaviour is such that the MC should just let her have him.

a second set had T.T.M. for Tammy Maria Milano?

Woke or what. Soft cock extravaganza! Harden up for Christ sake. Also, leave off your mid Western concept of infantile religious nonsense in your own mind and grow up.

I now quit reading this

Conlicted. The struggle to recover from an emotional wound, and trying to do the 'right thing'. For an isolated orphan, the yearning for a warm family is a craving. Yet an inferiority complex could sabotage his happiness. (..to be or not to be...?)