Hyeonverse: A Ticket to Nevada Ch. 01 of 02

There were kids everywhere, my daughter was doing robot dance moves in the middle of the living room with Pegs and their new classmate.

As I hit the bathroom, I almost stumbled into a nerdy kid skip walking out of a bedroom.

Adorkable little Asian girl in glasses, yellow dress, giddy as can be.

"Sowrry," she chirped an apology in her sweet little voice before being swallowed by the frantic horde of noisy little tribbles.

I was staring at my teeth on the bathroom mirror, guesstimating the effects of a 141 Pro Wood Bat on a human jaw when it hit me. Oh, shit! It was her!

That fuc... Insufferable girl from the Jeong-ja Laundry. What was she doing here?

I went to the room I saw her coming out of, it's where the moms had left their coats and purses. Was she stealing their stuff? Annie caught me red-handed.

"Bill? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I... thought I left my phone here," I lied.

"Your phone is in your pocket, silly," my wife stared at me, suspicious. The woman must have been born with a fucking inbuilt lie detector, geez.

"Yeah, I guess so..." I summoned my dodging talents, performing a masterful evasive maneuver. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to get my phone, in case there's last minute changes," she explained.

"Maggie's a nervous wreck right now, I've gotta keep close tabs on her."

Maggie? Or someone else, Annie?

"I guess. Who were you talking to, those two, was that Carmen?" I asked.

"Yeah, Carmen and Elle," Annie reppied. "They went to Cancun together, last year. I thought I'd fish for tips for our trip."

"They should start a Divorced Wives club," I joked, then added a teaspoon of extra sting. "How to fuck up your marriage 101."

Annie's expression hardened, she didn't like my remark one bit.

"I can't believe you said that," she fumed. "They're just two mothers trying to do the best they can on their own, Bill."

"Maybe they wouldn't have to make it on their own if they had learned how to keep their legs together," I fired back. "And you, humoring them and badmouthing Carla? What the fuck, Annie?"

"You were listening to us?" Annie's cheeks flustered. "That was a private conversation, what else did you hear?"

"Nothing good, that's for sure!" I left, twisting the dagger: "They say women are smarter than men. Those two shat on their families for a quickie, does that sound particularly bright to you? Annie?"

Things only went south from there.

On Saturday night, it was as cold as McMurdo Antarctic Station at House Stroker. Annie's eyes kept throwing daggers at me. I pretended not to notice, watching Sue playing a videogame on the tv where she was giving her Russian nemesis, Goodman86, a run for his money.

After putting her to bed, I got a call from Cormac.

"Hey, Bill? Yeah, there's been a new development, costs have climbed to 1,200."

Did he think money grows on trees?

"Dude, what the fuck do you need that money for?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"I'm going to Akron, baby. Wanna come with? Sample the local delicacies?" He joked. "Come on, Bill, could be fun! We could check the Akron scene and visit the Goodyear Airdock after we bust those two exchanging bodily fluids over at the Lindy Lodge..."

"You've just managed to name two of the things I least wanna do next week."

Next week. The thought threw me on a downward spiral. I'd be too depressed in the coming days, giving the news to Sue and our parents and preparing divorce papers.

"Suit yourself..." Cormac sounded genuinely disappointed. On the other side of the line, someone whispered:

"Corinne Pritchard, got it. Gimme Robert's audio file and I'll get her singing." A woman 's voice. "Remember, the laser sight on my Zastava is slight..."

Silence. He had ended the call. What the Hell was that? Who the fuck was Corinne Pritchard? The phone call gave me pause, how much did I really know about Cormac?

Private investigators don't normally invite their clients on a stake out, do they? Was he even a P.I.? The guy operated from a fucking laundromat! What if he had an ulterior motive? He had bugged the Raven Skies Press building, could he have overheard something he shouldn't have?

No, I had to stick to the plan, the guy hadn't failed me yet. I called Pete to see if he was still interested in buying my Impala. Carmen answered his phone, they were in bed. I hung up, and looked at Annie texting. Her boyfriend must have told her a joke, because the dimples decided to grace our house with their presence. Lord Jesus, Hallelujah!

There was no sex that night. and I was glad. I couldn't bear to look at Annie, let alone touch her.

I rolled in the sheets, thinking about what I was gonna tell Sue. Oh, God, what was I gonna tell mom and dad? We had no money, where was I gonna find a lawyer? Did I really want to get a divorce? My brain was hammered by mental images of her and that prick rolling in the sheets.

"Hehehe! Oh, Joshhh... "

I summoned the vision of a rope dangling from my basement beam and the images disappeared.

At 2am, my phone rang. Cormac. Annie tossed and turned, mumbling something about freckles in her treetop juice before resuming her soft snoring.

It was an image file. A screen capture from the texting between Annie and loverboy.

>> You think women are smarter than men?

>> We must be. You only catch us when we want you to.

SUNDAY, THE 15TH

I woke up late on Sunday. Sue was already up, washed, cleaned and fed.

The traveling bags were set by the door, ready for flight time. I wondered which one had her sexy lingerie.

I had to give it to Annie, she had the single mom thing locked down. She would be A-Okay on her own.

Mid afternoon, she suddenly noticed my sulking and somehow remembered she once had made some vows in front of some people, or something. She followed me to the basement, attempting a reconciliation.

I was down there, after finally having decided on a 34 inch Brett Bros Maple bat. Durability was essential if the fucker put on his helmet, plus easier to burn than aluminum.

The Louisville Slugger Pro Stock C243 had rolled to the floor. Someone had been here touching my stuff. There was a child's footprint on the dust. A shoe? Sue only used sneakers...

"You know, when Sue starts gaming she can be at it for hours. Think you could spare your sexy wife twenty minutes?" Annie whispered in a husky tone, sliding down the basement stairs toward me.

I dodged her as if she was the acid guy from Robocop.

"I'm good, thanks." I winced immediately after saying the words. She went ballistic.

"What is wrong with you? You've never refused me before, don't you love me anymore?" Annie's glare locked onto me. "Bill, are you having an affair?"

Classic projection. If I am having one, he clearly must be having one too.

I turned to face her.

"No, I am not," I said. " What about you, Annie, have you been taking good care of Joshhhh?"

Her eyes grew to the size of dishes and her lips quivered. I watched the urge to slap me surge through her limbs. Her hand covered her mouth as she started for the basement stairs.

"He is just a good friend from work. There is nothing between us," she said. "I can't believe you'd say something like that to me."

"Can't you?"

I grabbed her arm, and her flinch of fear made me wonder what my facial expression must have looked like.

I reached for my phone and frantically started going through the files. Where the fuck was that shit? Fuck! Are you kidding me? You do this to me now?

I hit play and scrolled through the time bar. I think Annie guessed what I was doing, because she was in tears before I lifted the phone to show her kissing loverboy's lips at the warehouse loading docks.

"Just a guy, huh? Just a guy," I snarled into her face, imitating her voice. "I can't believe you'd say something like that to me."

"Where.. how did you..." Annie shrinked in tears. "You've been spying on me?"

Her knees failed her and she sat on the stairs, sobbing. My heart tore apart, seeing her in pain. No, not now. You quiet the fuck down. You stay down, motherfucker, I'll deal with you later.

"Look! Look at yourself, Annabel!" I yelled, pressing the screen to her face. "Look at what you are doing to me! You are killing me! You are murdering our family!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly stopped before fleeing upstairs. I gave chase, but my back pain slowed me down. Annie had barricaded herself in the bedroom by the time I got there. She was crying inside.

And the Oscar goes to...

I sat watching Sue murder pixels in the living room, screaming in her headset at her Russian rival.

<<<<<>>>>>

The Arctic front stayed at Chez Stroker until nightfall, when we silently drove to the airport.

Annie's dead sunken eyes didn't turn to me once.

And I had made such a nice checklist of nasty shit to throw at her face.

"Don't bother coming back. We are through. You'll be served when you get back. Have fun with Joshhhh. Don't forget to swallow."

Sue noticed things were tense, but her inquiring mind didn't operate at full capacity this close to bedtime. She just wanted to kiss mommy goodbye, wave when she took off and immediately crash on the nearest fluffy surface

.

Annie checked in next to a nervous Maggie. The Centaur One Media Group was going to eat them alive. Good.

Sue and I were watching her from far away when the phone rang.

"Hey, Cormac. What's up?" I spoke. "Money will be on your desk on Monday."

"Who's Cormac? What money?" Sue asked. I shushed her:

"Not now, lollipop."

"Aww," Cormac chuckled in an unpleasant tone. "You're really getting rid of your Impala? Your Dad gave it to you, man! You lost your cherry in that car!"

This prick. How...

"Where are you right now?" I asked.

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," he joked. At least I hope he did. "Hey, Bill, did you read today's Horoscope?"

"Dude, seriously?" I grumbled, annoyed.

The Horoscope? Was this guy shitting me?

A crisp laughter came from the other side. So close it's as if he was standing right behind me. I turned to check.

"Yeah, I was just flipping through this magazine they've got in here. Man, this food is crap, what do they put in these?" I heard him spitting. He continued: "Anyway, says here Pisces are the most emotional and spiritual men in the zodiac. Your pretty boy is a lover, Bill. Oh, listen to this, listen to this! Hopeless romantic, the male Pisces always wants what he can't have. I guess married women qualify, huh, Bill?"

I could punch him right now, I had no time for this crap, my world was ending.

"Pisces are most compatible with, let's see here... Scorpio, Capricorn and Cancer. Ah! Say, Bill, wasn't your wife born in July? July the 12th? That's Cancer, right?" He laughed.

Yeah, this whole conversation was Cancer alright.

I felt betrayed, what's with the attitude on this guy, all of a sudden? Had I done something to him to deserve this?

Annie had gotten her bag and was finally heading for the plane. Sue kept waving at her, but she didn't turn to look at us once. Maggie was a ghost leading a zombie.

"Ah! Maybe it really is true love, what those two have over there." Cormac continued, he was having a blast. "Hey, speaking of dates and true love, Bill, do you know what time of the month women's libido is at its highest?"

"Cormac, can you..." I stammered. I knew this one. Sighing, I took his bait: "I know, it's during ovulation!"

"It's during ovulation!" He answered his own question in an obnoxious tone. His mocking was starting to get to me. "I saw the calendar on her phone, did you know Annie is ovulating right now, Bill? She can't take the pill. You never wondered why she never gives it to you from the 14th onward? Hey, Bill, did you just let your ovulating, sexually frustrated and horny as fuck wife board the plane to go meet her one true love?"

My blood boiled, I finally realized what he was doing. Playing me like a piano, that's what he was doing. Goading me like a lamb to the slaughter after I had refused to travel with him to Akron. God, was I this easy to manipulate?

"I am trying to help you out here, mate." He jested. "Hey, women are fertile like five days a month, right? Give her a real good fuck when she gets back, is all I'm saying. Maybe your swimmers can overtake his swimmers' head start, hum, Bill? Or not, I mean, Josh is a Pisces. That means fish in Latin. I know that, I've looked it up. I'll bet his swimmers are like the Michael Phelps of sperm, huh? Are your swimmers fast, Bill?"

"Cormac, I gotta go," I gritted my teeth, pissed off. "I thought you were on my side, man."

"I am, man, I really am. I am trying to help you out here, Bill. That's why I'm gonna take good quality pictures of Josh fucking little Annie at the lodge. Get you your money's worth so you can jerk off to them anytime you want." He laughed. "Hey, Bill, do you use your left or your right hand? Are you a port or a starboard wanker?"

"You motherfucker..." I growled into the phone.

"I am kidding, just kidding, Bill." His caustic laugh sizzled in my ear. "Ooops, gotta fly. Don't worry, Bill, I am sure Annie will make Josh wear a condom. Or, hey, maybe you'll luck out, huh, Bill? Maybe, when little Annie comes home pregnant on the 17th she can get her baby to miscarry like she did with your pretty little Sara!"

Sara. He had to. He just fucking had to.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I howled into the phone.

The line went dead.

Two uniforms looked at me, clutching their Carbines. It would be sweet. Quicker than the basement beam. Or not. Splatter would probably ruin Sue's dress. Dad's brains all over Hello Kitty, can't have that. I looked down at her, she had never seen me swear. Sue stared up at me, saw me crying, and hugged me. My own daughter was trying to comfort me.

Me, I was thinking about how much I still loved that cheating, stupid fucking bitch.

I gazed into the crowd boarding the plane. At least she looked sad. Maybe these nine years hadn't been a complete lie after all? Or was she just sad because she got caught?

I never wanted her so much to look at us and see what she was about to destroy. She never did.

I had lost the one love of my life forever.

Mom and dad were surprised when I knocked at their door at eleven p.m..

They wanted to know where Annie was and why I wanted them to take care of Sue on a school night. As I watched my sleeping angel in dad's arms, I realized I could never go to Nevada. Not really. From the start, I knew that in the end, it was always going to be the basement beam.

Fine, fuck it, beam it is, then. Maybe my legs would finally learn how to breakdance.

But first...

I left them staring at me on the porch as I drove home to pick up my 34 inch.

There were dark, raven skies above as I headed back to the airport.

Dr. Stroker was making one last house call.

"Ohio gozaimasu," motherfucker.