All Comments on 'A Transformation'

I liked the story. It leaves you many ways to go. The only thing that bothered me personally is when he finally has his VIRGIN daughter naked in bed, he just shoves his hard cock in balls deep, then flips her over and bangs her from behind, then asks how we deal with mom. Really?

Otherwise, keep going. This could be great... or not... I'm waiting for the next chapter.

You think an experienced lover wouldn't just run up and stick his cock in! Ever here of foreplay? Way to go dad!!

The names kept changing in the story...

He was very rough for her first time.

Very smart girl to continue sitting on grampa's lap. Perfect girl to mentor Jody.

Thanks for your comments! I am learning as I go, so feedback helps. I agree that the final scene was too abropt. My background is writng short non-fiction stuff. Fiction is a very different beast. I appreciate having a forum such as Literotica to work with in trying to improve.

Good story, though I echo the comments about the actual sex. Dad should have given extensive foreplay and oral sex before just shoving his pecker into his daughter.

But another real suggestion is: don't have two characters that spend time together with such similar names. Think about the readers--Jody and Joey are so similar it's easy to lose track of who is speaking. Make the names very different to avoid confusion. I had committed the same error in one of my novels and an editor suggested a change...which worked much better.

Good effort overall, though. Keep at it.