All Comments on 'A Twin Desire Ch. 07 - Finale'

Great series! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'd love to read any additions and hope your health allows you many better days to enjoy.

I fell in love with the series by end of the second page fo chapter 1 and it carried through till the end. Everything was covered, all the questions answered, creative flow did amazing things with small future flashes, and overall delivery was simply superb. I really hope you get back on healthy feet and give us more of these kinds of stories (the other ones are just as good). This one gets a clear 5!

The ending you have written almost tore my heart out. So very well crafted that my eyes were leaking copious amounts of salty tears. A most enjoyable story of love that is so real it is something I could only wish for. Thank you and please take care of yourself. Your own health is much more important than working on stories for us.

To know this story was based on actual events,tho not total nonfiction the deliverence was both awe inspiring and emotionally devastating.I was in total shock when I read of the Twins passing two days apart it was both trajic and spiritually uplifting to know they basically went together so they could be together in the afterlife.

But still this story was so heartfelt you have to wonder if real life could be this magical?.As I write this comment I am still overjoyed and deeply saddened by this story,and the author if you read this my prayers are with you and you made this story one true work of art,thank you.

and i'm sorry about your health. hopefully you'll continue to write - maybe more fun stories if that helps. I loved the saga a Brian and Barb. it was a well told story. And although the end seemed rushed, i'm glad you finished it. It is a well-written and well told story. Thanks for taking us on the journey.

And - i hope your health gets better.

I have to say that your ending of this series is fantastic! The way you brought everything together left no longing for a better finale. Hope your health improves and you continue to write. The only criticism is not to use the same words to start the sentences in the same paragraph....she said, she ...

Absolutely loved the ending to this story. The 'flash forward's' were really moving and the emotion filtered through from your own real life experiences. I sincerely hope that your health improves you are too good a writer to be forced to give up writing.

I did have issues with your early chapter and the speed at which Brian and Barbie's relationship developed from realizing they were in love with each other to a few days later, when confronted by their parents, Brian proposed marriage to Barbie. Felt that it all happened to quickly and wasn't really plausible. Still, it didn't spoil my enjoyment of, what is, a great story.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Definitely beyond 5 stars

Thank you all for rating and leaving feedback. I want to explain a bit about my own personal experiences and how I incorporated them into this story. In a moment.

First, yes, this last chapter felt rushed to me as well. I had a lot of different ideas for this to become a life long saga. Filling in the gaps of life with a story on an erotic story venue was a challenge and I could only see it becoming more challenging. Each 'flashforward' was going to be a separate chapter. With my health struggles and the difficulty of Chapter 7, I hope I did justice to the characters. I fell in love with those characters myself. And, again, who knows if something may pop up in the future. :)

A little business, then on to my experiences.

@thedayafter

Thanks for the specific feedback about the speed of the relationship. For me, the speed was fitting. Once Brian and Barb were fully open with each other, they both realized they'd been in love for five to six years. There were no other for them. They knew it. We all knew it. Why hesitate?

If I wrote this as a romance, without the sex, I would have written it the same. Long ride home over two days, deep discussions and realizations of a forbidden love that both had felt for years. Realizing "THE ONE" is sitting in the same car, and nobody else would or could steal their hearts. A few days home, talking with siblings and parents, then deciding to tell the family. A marriage proposal was perfect timing. I hope that helps you reconcile the speed issue.

----

My own personal experience with the devastating loss of a loved one. My wife's family is close. We've been married 35 years and we still have sibling dinners with her four siblings twice a year.

Her dad was one of the first five men to have a pioneering new Open Heart surgery using an artificial heart in the early 1960s. He was told if he would follow a strict diet and exercise regimen, he could live for another 5 years. He followed the instructions to the letter and lived another 35+ years, passing away in 1998.

Interesting side note. He had a check-up about 2 weeks before he passed. The doctor told him he had the heart of a teenager and he wouldn't die from a heart attack. He died of a heart attack.

His death was so sudden and shocking. Even though he was 75, he was a picture of health. My wife, the youngest, and a surprise addition to her parents (her mom we 45 when my wife was born, her oldest sibling is 20 years older), was devastated. Her daddy was her hero.

I couldn't console her. It's been over 20 years and she still has moments of inconsolable sadness. Having a little background in psychology, I knew about a therapy called Catharsis. The theory is to put a loved one into an inanimate object, then do something to that object which will release the emotions.

The shower scene in this story is one way I helped my wife through her sadness. The way I described it was fairly true to our experience. Her first reaction when I told her to get naked was to tell me she wasn't interested in sex. We had a very expensive shower head. It was one of those big round ones that feels like standing in a thunderstorm.

Once in the shower, I simply held her, shampooed her hair, then washed her entire body. I took my time rinsing her, as described in the story. Luckily, a few months before, we replaced our water heater with a much larger unit (we have five kids and were constantly running out of hot water at the worst times.) That shower lasted about an hour. When we were done, she felt better and was able to sleep for the first time in a week.

I hope that was interesting. I try to make sure my stories are fairly real to life ... although I do stray to pure lusty romps in which I don't give a shit as long as it's hot as fuck.

Thank you all, again for reading and rating.

Thank you for finishing your story. I appreciate your effort and sacrifice. I prefer happily ever after endings and if you do write an alternate chapter seven please consider that as an option.

Great story in all.

This was an amazing story from start to finish. I understand why you ended it like this and i gave you 5 stars. The only thing i didnt like was the flashes forward, it just feels to rushed and leaves me so sad afterwards. I know they had a good life but the scenes with them both dying tore my heart out. I wish you could have ended it with her pregnant, recovering from Jill's death with her wonderful twin brother and lover. I would have enjoyed a happy ending where i cpuld have used my imagination as to what the rest of their lives would turn out like. This story was amazing, i loved it. It makes me wish and wish that i was lucky enough to be born with a twin sister. If i had a twin sister i know one thing fur sure, after reading this i would have gone and confessed my love for her. Keep up the amazing work, im looking forward to your upcoming stories thou i only read sibling romances and sex stories i hate mom/son and dad/daughter ones xD.

I haven't cried over anything I read on Literotica yet, but this one made me smile, laugh, turned on and cry. I loved this so much. Good work and wonderful conclusion.

Thank you for the wonderful story! TO often people forget what is important in life. Thank you for reminding us. Chris

I like this story. It's in the same class as some of the best on Literotica: Beachbum1958's stuff ("Rag Doll", in particular), CalHollows's "Looking Glass Rose", CarlusMagnus's stuff ("Charlie and Mindy," and "Looking for Trouble" in particular).

There's nothing wrong with first-person POV as such. Like most other aspects of writing, it's what an author does with it that makes or breaks the work. You've handled it well---including the shifts between POV of the two different characters. That one of your commentators is tired of first-person accounts is not your problem.

Five stars, of course, for each piece. Keep up the good work with sibling incest--twins, especially.

well i did enjoy from the beginning though this last chapter was too emotional

This is such a great love story that shows true love can transcend any obstacle. It is a well written love story that lasted more than 70 years with a happy ending. What more could you ask for. The author did a great job in creating this brother/sister love saga, gets my 5+ star vote.

i waited until I finished the whole story before commenting. Great story, great writing, Great job. I'm looking forward to more bro/sis stories. I loved that you kept them exclusive. Love between a brother and sister is the purest form of love ever. keep writing.

My second time around with this phenomonal literary work. I have felt the emotions that made me horny, made me laugh and yes made me cry. Thank you so very much for the effort I know you have put into this work I appreciate it very much.

You are literally my new favorite writer on here by far. All I can say is wow and thank you. I'm gonna go see and read your other work of arts.

The only down side was bouncing back and forth between the characters and, I'm sorry to say to the constant sex scenes actually got in the way of your story

I enjoyed this story immensely! It made me laugh and cry, what a wonderful love story! Thank you Chris

Comments cover all seven chapters. Excellent story. Thank you.

Comments for the whole series. 5* all the way. Laughed a lot, cried a lot at the end. When I first started to read this chapter and you talked about flash forwards I was skeptical. Now that I've read it... I can't think of a more perfect way to end this. I wish more stories had true endings like this one. Bravo! Thanks for sharing.

Wow. Perfect,.

The story while an epic love story in its final chapter it was missing key elements and details that actually left the reader with an incomplete feeling where as it had a wonderful ending. Such happiness and sadness in one story, wow.

The detail that were needed first of all not a word about the changing of her last name as her father suggested to protect the incestual marriage.

Second the lack of not telling their parents of her pregnancy, the first grandchild is always so important, also the issue of how they determined the baby was in fact healthy and didn't have a recessive gene.

Finally the details of their parents and family and how they played into their future. The story while having a final ending with them dying only 2 days apart at age 91, surrounded by their family was a fitting end. How many married couples can say that they had 71 years of blissful love and a family as these two soulmates.

I sure hope that MarriedHeats health is better today than indicated at the end of this chapter and I hope he might consider editing this final chapter and filling in some of the missing details.

At any rate Marriedheat you wrote an epic love story. Well done 5 stars, would have 10 stars if it had more of the details.

bro became a common cheater. Killed a love story.

I enjoyed your story very much. I loved the romance they shared and that it wasn’t just lust. You were right to keep them faithful to each other. I will read more of your offerings and look forward to any in the future. I gave each chapter a 5.

Whether if it's in real world or fairy-tale, suffering and death is part of life, whether we accept it or not.

But damn man the whole story is good

A truly wonderful series! Thank you

Love beyond the grave. (Incest or NOT) If I had a love like that, I would be the happiest, luckiest on earth. But /....

I'm an ole fart, 80 years old. I come here and read these stories, not to become titilated, but to glimpse the love Young people have for each other; love that I have never been able to feel much during my life.

This is by far the best story I have read. Thank You! Thank You!!

Thank you for the wonderful story. It reminds us that life is unpredictable, but usually good. Remember that the good also comes with the bad and to make the most of everything that happens. Thank you Chris

Thank you very much for this beautiful love story. I have bookmarked it to reread it.

To me, this is a solid six story for each chapter, except the last one, which is really confusing in too many locations. I hope that you will eventually go back to this last and very important chapter to give US, the reader proper closure about what happened to our loving couple's parents, to Heidi, to Vanessa, etc. In your mind, you live the life and emotions of this loving couple. You have an intimate relation with them but this chapter does not do justice to this intense relationship you have with them. Sorry. Please go back to this chapter to make this whole story perfect and complete.

BJD

Thank you for this remarkable story. This final chapter was unexpected, but rewarding. At 70, I understand the pain of loss and the joy of happy memories. I was the final caretaker of my mother, father, only sibling and two of my four daughters. I've always wondered how others would work through these issues.

What a beautiful story line ! Please don’t apologize for anything to do with this work, it was well thought out and the journey was one you truly felt as though you were following along with their lives both happy and sad times ! Thank You very much for your time and effort you put into this story!!

Thank you for an amazing story! I loved the last chapter in the way you wrote it. Thank you 9

this is was one of the best stories ive read. also one of the saddest towards the end. the scene with him at her side as she dies got me bad and then the end scene of him starting to sing his song and then his kids and everyone saying its ok to go got me even more. amazing story

What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. 5 stars is not nearly high enough for this tale.

Tears won't stop from such a beautiful story. Love is so real here. Thank you.

This one was hard to read. I cried. 5/5 Thanks!

I ACTUALLY found myself skimming the sex to get back to the story!

Ditto the last comments, there was a bit too much sex and I started to get bored with it! As such I ended skimming that to get back to the story. And it is a beautifully crafted story and I completely forgive the few inconsistencies. Having started a couple of stories myself, but not yet finished either of them I fully understand just how much something like this can take out of you.

I'm not quite sure why, though, but for some reason, unlike virtually all those who have commented, I didn't get drawn into the deep emotions of chapter 7 as much as I might have done.

One thing which hasn't been commented on, as far as I can see, is the very unusual and courageous plot twist which has the parents fully onside, incredibly quickly and early in the story, back in about chapter 2. My initial thought was how the Devil will he keep the story interesting if it doesn't have that Sword of Damocles hanging over it? Well, it created quite a challenge which was overcome remarkably well. That said, I feel it would still have been a more realistic to spin it out and delay that for a couple more chapters. I also feel that while the parent's attitude is one we'd all like to believe possible, nothing about the parents prepared us for it and as such, for me, the story lost an element of realism at that point, which it never quite regained.

While I strongly believe in equality, and the playful and carefree approach of Barbara brought her to life as a character and clearly oiled the wheels of the plot, I couldn't help but despise her a bit for being so wrapped up in her own pleasure, not that she did that at the expense of Brian's pleasure, but at the expense of broader responsibility. Two weeks planing an anniversary dinner while she forgets to pay for the electricity and forgets to take the pill several days running and telling two friends about the incest without carefully considering the consequences. One overhead word could have land the both in prison in most US states. At the same time, Brian is a bit too 'perfect'. That charicature of the strong dependable man and the sometimes scatty and self-indulgent woman may be representative of a lot of relationships, but with girls often excelling more than boys academically these days, it's a story mould I would like to see broken and never put back together again.

It's also getting a bit tedious that most authors make the man the one who resists the incest initially and the young woman/woman the one that urges him on. Given that men , like me, clearly make up the majority of the readers, that is doubtless popular, but we might get more women reading such stories if we could move away from this formulae. So, there's a nice challenge for someone. Find an acceptable way to even the trend and even reverse it sometimes.

Despite all that, it's a very great story and well deserves the praise it has received.

I hope you have regained your health by now.

Great story. Well written, too.

But.... There's no afterlife.

In concert with many, I found myself skipping the sex parts more and ore. It's the 'reality', the acceptance, or not, by family, friends, siblings, 'life', that s my focus.

Furthermore, am not concerned by who initiated.... To me that's a tentative , mutual, situation

Jill's death struck a raw nerve inside of me. I met a girl named Lyn when I was in college. She worked at the grocery store three blocks from my apartment. I was physically attracted to her and we had our first date. Then I began to learn more about her and I fell in love with her...HARD. The most important thing that we had in common was that we both had our Pilot's Licenses and loved to fly. She was killed in a car accident about 6 weeks after we began dating. I was devastated and barely functional for the next 9 months. 😢 This was more than 40 years ago and I still think about her often. The memories never go away.

You did a wonderful job with the ending. Thanks for the work that you put into this story. 5/5

I laughed, I cried. I went and told my wife and kids I love them. Like others, I eventually started skimming past the sex, more enthralled with the story. This series was great. 5/5.

Very well crafted story, I especially really enjoyed the romance angle. Yes, the sex is hot, but I viewed this as a very good romance novella between two people that happened to be twins.

I think the quality and depth of emotions, especially the last few chapters, really made this an excellent story.

Thank you

I’ve saved my comments for the ending of this amazing story . Your emotional fall out for losing someone as close as Jill was right on the money . Thanks again for a very good story .

I read all of them and enjoyed them immensely

Superior love story. Any story that contains Billy Joel lyrics is tops. Gotta be a five out of five.

what a great story WOW!!